Seeing Shadows (56 page)

Nathan seemed to deflate at Claire's words, falling back against his chair with a defeated look. I felt bad for him, even though I had just met him. And a part of me felt a little guilty too. Although I had never cheated on Sean, I could see his crestfallen expression in Nathan's face.

"It's okay, three months isn't that long," I offered, wanting to comfort him while trying to lighten the mood. "When my fifth grade boyfriend dumped me for Shelly Dupree because she had a swimming pool and her mom made amazing cookies, I was still poking pins into a doll with a picture of his face on it in sixth grade."

Claire shot me a look that I didn't understand, making me feel uncomfortable. I didn't know the dynamics of this group yet and hadn't really thought about her reaction when trying to comfort Nathan. I hadn't meant to contradict her, but she had seemed a little harsh towards Nathan.

"Remind me never to cross you," Jackson said, seemingly wanting to lighten the mood as well. "I'd hate to think of you having a doll that looks like me and doing some voodoo magic on it."

"Don't worry," I laughed. "I only save that for serious transgressions. Don't ever jilt me for some floozy with a pool and chocolate chip cookies and we'll be fine."

Jackson grinned at me widely, his dimples in full view, and I blinked at him, nonplussed. I hadn't meant to imply that there would ever be anything between us for there to be a possibility of being jilted, but Jackson just seemed amused by it.

"Speaking of being jilted," Claire said, interrupting my thoughts. "Do you still talk to Sean?"

I paled as Claire cocked her head, looking at me innocently. Her question had taken me aback, making me tense and confused. I didn't understand why Claire was bringing up Sean. It felt like an attack, like she was punishing me for disagreeing with her. This didn't seem like the girl that had been so likable on the phone and had shown me around today, treating me like a friend instead of just a roommate.

"Uh, not really," I replied, my mouth dry. I saw Mia and Nathan look at me with interest while Jackson glanced at Claire with a frown.

"Who's Sean?" Mia asked, seemingly oblivious to the growing tension.

"He's my ex. We broke up recently, but he's back in Maryland."

"Enough of all this depressing talk," Claire said smiling at me. I looked back at her confused. I could have sworn that she had meant her comment about Sean as a dig, but now she was looking at me guilelessly. "No more talk of exes. Let's talk about something more interesting. Mia, how did your audition for that commercial go?"

Mia sighed. "Okay, I guess. It's just so tiring going to all these casting calls for jobs that I have absolutely no interest in. But I need to pay the bills somehow."

"Mia is actually a trained ballerina, but she decided to throw out her pointe shoes for the life of an actress," Claire explained. I gave myself a mental shake. Claire seemed completely friendly and open now. I wondered if I had just misunderstood her earlier comments. I decided to forget about it. The last thing I wanted to do was alienate my roommate and one friend in New York.

"A ballerina. That's impressive. I took ballet when I was a little kid, but I kept ripping off my tutu and running around instead of going into first position, so they asked my parents to withdraw me from class." I smiled ruefully. "I think that was a polite way of kicking me out of class."

Mia laughed. "I got a little further than that, but I realized I didn't want the life of a ballerina. Plus I like to eat." She frowned before continuing, "Although the life of an aspiring actress isn't that much better. I spend most of my time working at the Mac counter in Bloomingdale's and going on casting calls. I haven't had much luck."

I looked around the table. "Are all of you actors?"

"Not me," Nathan answered. "I'm a painter. I'm having a showing at a small gallery next weekend. You should come."

"Wow, a painter," I said, impressed. "Everyone here seems so creative. I would love to come to your showing." I turned to Jackson. "What about you? What do you do?"

Jackson still looked a bit unsettled by the earlier conversation and Claire's gibe, but his face cleared at my question. "I'm one of the masses of struggling actors too, which means I spend my days working as a trainer at a gym while I wait for my big break."

"Jackson is actually in the play that I was telling you about," Claire said. She smirked as she glanced at Jackson. "He's one of the two men vying for my hand in marriage."

"I'm looking forward to seeing it," I said. "So, do you end up with the girl or not?"

Jackson grinned, his green eyes sparkling. It was getting easier and easier to look at him for longer periods of time. His gorgeousness was taking a backseat to his open friendliness.

"You'll have to find out for yourself. I can't give away the ending. It’ll ruin the show for you."

"What about you?" Mia asked. "What do you do? Do you have a job here yet?"

"Fortunately, I got a job before I moved up here. I'm an executive assistant at Mass Communications, a marketing firm. Unfortunately, it's not really want I want to be doing, but for now it's a paycheck, so I'm happy about that."

"Emma was a marketing exec at an ad agency in D.C.," Claire said, surprising me with the pride in her voice. "I'm sure she'll move up in the ranks at her company in no time."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, but for now I'll be happy if I'm able to answer the phone and make copies without messing up."

"I'm sure you'll be a master copier and phone answerer in no time," Jackson said with a wink.

"Just what I always dreamed of being as a little girl," I replied with a wry grin.

"So you and Claire grew up in the same town?" Mia asked.

I took a sip of my beer and nodded. I really was a lightweight and had been nursing my drink, but I saw Nathan motion to Maggie for another round. I was going to have to be careful around this group. Drinking more than a couple of drinks always made me a little more animated than I wanted to be.

"Our mothers are friends through a charity group in our town. It's a typical small town where everyone knows each other's business." I smiled ruefully. "It's fantastic."

"I went to boarding school, so Emma and I never met before," Claire added.

"It really was a lucky break that Claire was looking for a roommate at the same time I was looking to move here," I said. "Do you guys live around here?"

"Nathan and I are roommates and we live over on 2nd Ave and 1st," Mia answered. I was surprised that they lived together, but I reminded myself this was New York, not Merrittsville where coed roommates would have raised eyebrows.

"I live around here too," Jackson chimed in. "Over on 14th and 3rd Ave."

Claire stretched, raising her arms above her head and arching her back. "I need a smoke. Anyone want to join me?"

Nathan and Mia both chimed in with wanting to take a cigarette break. Nathan groaned about having to go outside to smoke, since it wasn't allowed inside bars in New York.

"Do you smoke?" Mia asked as they got up.

"No," I replied. "I tried it once in high school and threw up afterwards. That's about as illicit as my substance history goes."

Nathan slapped Jackson on the back. "You finally have someone to keep you company while we blacken our lungs."

Jackson grinned. "Finally, another non-smoker. I've spent half my life waiting for these guys while they smoke outside."

As the smokers filed outside, I was increasingly nervous about being left alone with Jackson. I felt a little gauche in his presence. He looked to be about my age, but he seemed so much more self-possessed and confident. Never mind that he was too damn good-looking.

"So, Emma Mills," Jackson said, leaning back in his chair. "Tell me about yourself."

"Well, you already know I don't smoke, I suck at ballet and I practice voodoo on the side. What more could you possibly want to know about me?"

Jackson laughed, the vibrations of his chuckles sending excited shivers down my spine. I could imagine that low laugh in a different setting. A dark seductive setting that included a bed.

I cleared my throat, trying to chase those thoughts away.

"How long have you been a trainer?" I asked, congratulating myself for my steady voice.

Maggie came over with the fresh round and Jackson thanked her before answering.

"Just a couple of years. I fell into it because I had a lot of free time since my acting jobs were so sporadic. I spent a lot of it working out at Peak Fitness, a gym around here. They were looking for more trainers and they approached me. I just had to take a few classes and pass an exam to be certified, and there you have it. I was a trainer."

"Well, you
do
look like you're in a good shape," I said, giving his body an appreciative glance. I laughed a little self-consciously at my bold once-over. "Of course, that's purely from an objective viewpoint of someone who's assessing your trainer skills."

"Of course," Jackson agreed with a smile. "You should stop by the gym sometime. I can give you some free trial sessions."

I groaned. "Me and working out do
not
gel. I always wished I was one of those people who actually enjoyed working out, but sadly, exercising is akin to physical torture for me."

Jackson grinned. "Maybe you just haven't had the right trainer. I can make exercising lots of fun." He glanced down at me, in much the same way I had given him the once-over. I flushed at his perusal. "Although I'd say there's not much to improve on."

I burst out laughing. "You really are a good actor. I'm not sure whether to be flattered or suspicious. If this is your tactic for getting new clients, you must be an awfully popular trainer."

"Come see for yourself. Peak Fitness is just over on 2nd Avenue between 12th and 13th Street. I work most weekday evenings except Friday, and some Saturday and Sunday afternoons."

Jackson pulled his cell phone from his pocket. "Give me your number. I can text you my schedule."

"Um, okay," I said, unsure whether Jackson was being friendly or if he was interested in me. Although I had told myself that I wasn't looking for a relationship right now, I wasn't dumb enough to pass on someone like Jackson. He was funny and gorgeous. You didn't meet funny and gorgeous guys who took an interest in you every day. Besides, who said it had to be something serious? I had just come out of a ten-year relationship. This could just be something fun.

Besides, maybe he
was
just being friendly. I didn't want to embarrass myself by protesting when all he wanted to be was my friend. Or my new trainer.

After Jackson programmed my number into his phone, he started reciting his. I quickly fumbled for my phone in my purse to enter his number.

"R-e-y-n-a-r-d."

"What?" I had no idea why Jackson was spelling.

"My last name. To put in your phone."

I laughed. "Are you always this forward with giving out your phone number?"

Jackson grinned. "I'm always available for my clients. That's how dedicated I am to my job."

Before I could answer, Claire, Nathan and Mia filed back in. I saw Claire give Jackson and I an assessing look, and I had to squelch the compulsion to quickly stuff my cell phone back into my purse. It hadn't seemed as though there was anything going on between Claire and Jackson, but I made a mental note to ask her about it later. The last thing I wanted to do was tread on her territory.

Nathan took a long swig of the fresh beer Maggie had set down on the table while they were gone.

"So what have you two been talking about?" Claire asked as she took a more delicate sip of her own beer.

"Jackson was telling me about being a trainer," I replied. "Actually, he was trying to convince me to become one of his clients. He doesn't realize that my definition of working out is pressing the buttons on a TV remote."

Mia laughed. "Jackson is in high demand as a trainer. You should see the gaggle of women that gawk at him while he's working out."

"Now, Mia," Jackson lectured playfully. "You're going to give Emma the wrong idea. I'm a dedicated trainer that would never take advantage of potential clients."

"Riiight," Mia said sarcastically. "And I actually think that fuchsia is a color that works on everyone. That's at least what I tell everyone when they come to my make-up counter."

"Jackson
is
a really good trainer," Claire said. "If you're going to hire a trainer, he's a good choice. He's helped me a lot with strengthening and elongating my muscles."

Maybe I had just imagined Claire's earlier look. She didn't seem perturbed at all by the thought of Jackson being my trainer.

"Hold on," I said. "I'm not planning on getting a trainer. I'm not even planning on joining a gym. Not anytime soon, at least. I have to work on getting a paycheck before I start spending it, even if it's for an amazing trainer with clients chasing after him."

Jackson gave me a dazzling smile. I started to question whether the second beer was a good idea. I felt a little woozy looking at Jackson's smile and I was sure the alcohol had something to do with it.

"Remember, the first few sessions are free, and I can get you a free trial membership at the gym for a couple of weeks."