Seeing Shadows (52 page)

"Caitlin!" she called out. She stopped just short of me, her breath coming out in misty puffs in the cold air. "It's freezing! It probably wasn't a good idea to meet outside. How long have you been waiting? You must be so cold!"

I realized I didn't even feel the cold. Fear seemed to be a good way to keep warm.

"Hi Claudia," I said, trying to look into her eyes but she chose that exact moment to sweep her bangs away from her face, obscuring her eyes. "Thanks for coming. I know it was kind of weird to ask you to meet me out of the blue."

Claudia shrugged lightly. "I figured it must be something important."

I nodded. "Claudia," I started, staring at her eyes. I felt hope bloom inside of me when I saw her clear grey eyes looking back at me expectantly. Her pupils didn't dilate, obscuring her irises. Aunt Brenda had been wrong. Claudia hadn't been overtaken by her vardoger yet. "Claudia," I said again, this time urgently. "What I'm going to tell you is going to sound crazy. But please, just listen to me until I finish. You can tell me I'm crazy afterwards."

Claudia nodded warily, looking worried. I rushed on, not wanting to lose my nerve. "I've always had these...visions. Nightmares, you could call them. They were horrific. Of people dying. The people were strangers, except they weren't. After I had dreams of them dying, I would meet them in real life. Like my dreams were predicting the people I would meet."

I drew in a deep breath, and Claudia continued to just look at me, although I saw concern on her face. "Except they weren't just dreams. I can't explain everything now, but there are these things...these shadows called vardogers. They're a part of you but not a part of you. They look just like you, but aren't you." I made a sound of frustration, realizing I wasn't making sense. My urgency to try and make Claudia understand was making me practically incoherent. I forced myself to focus.

"I'll just call them shadows," I started again, trying to sound reasonable. "Everyone has a shadow. They used to be harmless, but some shadows started wanting to kill their person to take over their body. To no longer be a shadow. And my dreams predict whose shadows will try and kill them. And I've had a vision...a dream, of your shadow trying to kill you."

Claudia looked alarmed and she took an instinctive step back. "Uh, Caitlin...you're scaring me. Are you sure you haven't been watching too many episodes of the Twilight Zone?"

"I know it sounds crazy. It sounded crazy to me too. But it's true. I wish to God it wasn't, but it is." I paused, trying to figure out how to make Claudia believe me. "Have you ever had moments where you didn't feel like yourself. A second where you felt like you didn't have control of your body? Or maybe you couldn't remember what happened a few seconds ago, like you weren't present?"

Claudia bit her lip and I could see a glimmer of recognition at my description and I grabbed onto it.

"I can see that you have! Claudia, just consider the possibility that it's true. That I'm trying to save your life. Please."

Claudia took a deep breath, seeming to consider my words. "I can't deny that there's some truth to those...feelings you described. But to say I have a shadow that's trying to kill me? I don't know." She shook her head and then shivered. "Can we talk about this somewhere else? Somewhere indoors? I'm freezing."

I sighed in relief. It didn't seem like Claudia was dismissing the idea completely so I still had a chance. I wondered if her vardoger was listening, angered by everything I was telling her. There was still so much I didn't know about all of this. Every time I thought I understood, another question, another uncertainty popped up. I just had to take the chance.

"Why don't we go to the student center? We can talk in the lounge." The Maxwell student center was only a few buildings away, and the lounge would be relatively quiet on a Sunday night.

"Sure," Claudia agreed and we fell into step with one another, both of us silent as we made our way to the student center. We both seemed engrossed in our thoughts. I was trying to rehearse what exactly I would say next to try and convince Claudia I was telling the truth.

We were almost to the student center when Claudia doubled over, clutching her stomach with her arms.

"Claudia! What's wrong!"

Claudia moaned and staggered forward into a small alley between the student center and a neighboring science building. She leaned against the wall of the student center building, still bent forward.

"Claudia!" I rushed over to her, leaning over her and placing my hand on her back. Was this her vardoger? But this wasn't what Aunt Brenda had explained. I didn't know if her vardoger was trying to kill her, but my aunt had said I would actually see the vardoger when this happened. I just saw Claudia in pain.

"Caitlin," she whispered, her voice anguished. "It hurts so bad."

The sound of her voice in pain catapulted me into my vision, where Claudia's voice had sounded exactly the same. Full of pain and desperation.

I dropped to my knees, trying to see her face. "Claudia! What's wrong!"

Claudia's head whipped up and my breath stopped. Her eyes were clear grey, not black. But they were full of hatred and loathing. Her arms shot up, her hands wrapping around my neck before I even realized what was happening. She seemed to have superhuman strength as her hands squeezed tighter, my throat being crushed by the pressure.

I stared into her eyes, panic setting in even as I wondered why her eyes were still grey. My body went into action, trying to save itself. My hands scrabbled at my throat, trying to rip her hands off, but they were weak and pathetic against her strength. My legs flailed, trying to kick her, trying to do anything to make her grip loosen, but she sidestepped me easily.

I lowered one hand, thinking of my necklace, when Claudia grinned viciously, grabbing the chain of my necklace and ripping it off. She was still crushing my throat with one hand and I distractedly wondered how she could be so strong to choke me with one hand. She held the necklace up by the chain, the iridium charm dangling.

"Do you think this is going to save you?" she snarled, spittle flying out of her mouth. "This pathetic piece of metal is going to save your life? This is nothing." She threw the necklace down the narrow passageway and placed her hand back on my neck, both hands crushing me again.

I saw spots in front of my eyes as my vision began to haze over. Was this how it was going to end? I felt life leaving my body, my lungs weakening their strain for air as they gave up the fight. I felt as if I was removed from the scene, as if I was watching one of my visions from afar. I felt sadness that I was dying so soon after finding my aunt. I would never get to know her. I felt regret that Sarah would suffer after I died, second guessing whether she could have done something to prevent my death.

But my greatest regret was Simon. How could I save him now? And I had never told him I loved him. Maybe that was for the best. A dead girl's love wasn't worth much. I hoped that he would somehow be safe. Maybe my aunt would try to help him after she learned I had died. I hoped Simon would be safe and find happiness. That he would pursue his dreams and find a normal girl who could return his affections without reservation. Like he deserved.

Even though I was slowly letting myself go, there was a part of me that pushed against it, furious that I was relenting. It was this part of me that remembered the coin in my pocket. The one that my aunt had given me.

With my last bit of strength, I reached down into my pocket. Claudia was too busy staring into my eyes, enjoying watching the life slip out of them, to notice what I was doing. I fumbled for the coin in my pocket and pulled it out, reaching up and pushing my hand against her face, pressing it against her.

Claudia let out a pained scream as she backed away, her hands dropping from my throat. Even though she didn't have my neck in a vise-like grip anymore, I still felt as though I could hardly pull air into my lungs. I tried to heave deep breaths in, but it was more like wheezing. My airways rattled as I fought to inhale.

Claudia's face was full of fury, even as she backed away. "You bitch. You think you've won? This is nothing." I held one hand to my damaged throat but I held the coin in the other, waving it in front of me as if it was a talisman.

Claudia hissed at the movement of my hand. "Pretty soon that piece of metal will be meaningless." Her eyes narrowed as a slow smile stretched across her face. "How's Simon? I have a friend that's looking for him. He's looking for you too." She then turned and ran, faster than I thought was humanly possible.

I lay on the ground, trying to breathe as my mind raced with Claudia's words. What did she mean? Was she talking about Simon's vardoger? Fear was choking me, almost as much as Claudia's hands had. I forced myself to concentrate on trying to breathe, knowing that I was useless as long as I was laying there incapacitated.

It seemed like forever, but finally I was able to draw in deep breaths, even though it was still painful to breathe. I stumbled out from beside the building. It seemed ludicrous that life seemed to be going on as normal when I stepped out of the alley. I saw a few students loitering outside of the student center, having no idea what had happened.

I ran as quickly as I could to my apartment, my only thought that I would call my aunt as soon as I got home. I needed a quiet space where I could attempt to explain what had just happened. I prayed that she could help me. Maybe she had some answers from her inner circle. I didn't know what else to do.

As if she was reading my thoughts all the way from Connecticut, my cell phone rang as I was running up the steps to my apartment and I saw that it was her.

"Hello?" I said breathlessly as I unlocked the front door and stepped inside. I switched on the light, relieved to find the apartment empty. Sarah must already be at the East End.

"Caitlin!" my aunt exclaimed urgently. "Thank God you answered."

I sat down on the couch, my hand trembling at her tone. "What's wrong?"

"So much. So much is wrong." My aunt's voice vibrated with emotion. She sounded completely different from the self-possessed woman I had met earlier today. She sounded panicked and scared. "I met with the other seers. The ones I told you about. I had them put me under hypnosis."

I tensed as I remembered my aunt telling me how dangerous it was. I instantly understood that she had put herself in danger for my benefit. I wished I had time to appreciate her concern for me, but now was not the time. "What happened?"

"I saw so much. I don't know if it was because I'm already connected to you by blood or if it's because you're more powerful that any seer we've ever encountered. Or if it's because the vardogers are evolving faster than ever. But there are several vardogers after you, not just your own. And we're not sure if you can protect yourself against the other vardogers like you can with your own. The rules seem to be changing. Vardogers, as evil as they were, worked independently. They weren't able to communicate with each other, work as a team. They weren't able to recognize other vardogers. But when I was under hypnosis, I saw that the vardogers were able to work together against you."

The hand holding the phone to my ear shook violently, and I had to press it harder against my ear to not drop it. "Why are they working against me?" I cried, wanting this all to be a nightmare. "Aren't I just another seer? I mean, from what you tell me, there seems to be plenty of us out there. Why would I be their target?" I shrank back into the couch, my eyes darting around the room as if I expected shadows to jump out and grab me. If only my fears were ludicrous.

"Seers aren't that common, but you're right Caitlin," my aunt replied. I could hear her trying to steady her voice, realizing that I was losing control. "You shouldn't be the target of these vardogers. But it seems now that they can work together, the vardogers sense that your power, even untapped, is so great that it's a threat to them all. They're going to try and do anything to destroy you."

I wanted to whimper in fear, but steeled myself. Crying wouldn't save me. It wouldn't save Simon. "How many are after me?"

"I'm not sure of the exact number but at least four. I saw your vardoger, and you called out the names of three other vardogers as they came after you. One of them was Claudia's vardoger, the one you said was in your vision. But it was no longer just a shadow. Her vardoger has already overtaken her body."