Seek Me With All Your Heart (3 page)

“Interesting creamer.”

Mamm
raised the tail end so that milk spewed out the cow’s mouth and into David’s cup.
Mamm
thanked him, although Emily wasn’t sure David’s statement had been a compliment.

“So where are you living? What homestead did you purchase, David?”
Mamm
sat down in the other rocking chair in the far corner.

David finished taking a sip of his coffee, then set the cup down on the table between him and
Mamm
. He shook his head before answering. “I don’t know who owned it before, but it’s a real mess. Needs lots of work.”

“Where ’bouts is it located?”
Mamm
crossed her legs as she sipped her coffee.

“If you head north toward that bakery that’s on the corner . . .” David pointed to his right. “I can’t remember the name of it, but you turn on that street.” He scratched his forehead for a moment. “My family lives in the two story
haus
, the one that badly needs new paint. And my
Aenti
Katie Ann and
Onkel
Ivan moved into the smal er
haus
on the property.”

Betsy leaned forward and narrowed her eyes at David. “You bought that old place?” Betsy’s voice squeaked as she spoke.

Emily watched David’s cheeks redden. “
Ya
, I know. It’s in real bad shape. But we plan to start painting, and . . .” David let out a heavy sigh. “My stepmother, Lil ian, ’bout fel over when we pul ed in last night and she found out that there ain’t no indoor bathroom. Just an outhouse.”

Mamm
set her coffee cup down and kicked her rocker into motion. “You said your stepmother?”

Since divorce wasn’t al owed, Emily knew David’s mother must have died, and she felt a wave of sympathy as she recal ed the death of her grandmother two years ago.

“
Ya
. Lil ian is great.
Mei mamm
died when I was eight, and
Daed
married Lil ian about three years later.” He paused and the warmth of his smile echoed in his voice. “Everyone loves Lil ian. She’s been a great stepmom, and I have two sisters now. Elizabeth is almost five, and Anna is seven, same age as Betsy.”

“I look forward to meeting al of them.” ious to meet Elizabeth and Anna.”
Mamm
returned the smile and then turned to Betsy. “I’m sure Betsy wil be anx Betsy’s eyes sparkled with mischief and grew rounder as she spoke. “Lizzie at my school said an evil witch used to live at that house.”

“What?” David cinched a brow and leaned forward.

“Betsy!”
Mamm
glared at her. “That’s enough!” She turned to David. “I apologize for
mei maedel
, David.” She faced off with Betsy again. “Where in the world do you hear such nonsense, such sil iness that is not proper talk?” Then their mother straightened in her chair as she folded her hands in her lap. “I reckon to have a word with Magdalena about this.” She turned to David. “That’s Lizzie’s
mamm
,” she said as she cringed. “They’re from Missouri.” Then she shrugged, as if that explained it.

Canaan was home to Old Order Amish families from Pennsylvania, New York, Indiana, Ohio, Michigan, and Missouri. Folks had slowly been settling in this southern part of Colorado for about seven years. From what Emily had learned over the past three months, some were buying land at cheaper prices than in their home state. Others said there was a shortage of land where they lived. And she’d recently met an older man and woman who left their Order in Indiana because they disagreed with the way their bishop was running the community. Then there were those folks who seemed to be running from something—like her own family. She instantly wondered which category David and his family fel into.

“David, how did you come to purchase the property?”
Mamm
tilted her head to the side as the tiny lines above her brows became more evident.

“My great-grandfather purchased it.” David shrugged. “I don’t think he ever saw the place. He bought it off a computer at the library before he died.
Mei
daed
said Grandpa Jonas bought it mostly for the land, but said we’d have lots of work to do on the houses.” He shook his head. “But I reckon none of us knew it was gonna be this much work.”

Betsy chuckled. “That’s for sure.”

Mamm
pointed a warning finger in her direction. “Be quiet, Betsy.” Her mother turned back to David and took a deep breath. “Wel , as you know, we’re al about hard work, and I’m sure the community wil pitch in and help.”

David’s mouth tipped up on the left side as he nodded. “We might need some help. I know
mei daed
and Lil ian would appreciate it.”

Betsy crossed her smal legs, pressed her lips together, then peered at David. Emily recognized the expression and feared Betsy was about to disobey their mother again.

“Lizzie said there are snakes in the basement that the witch col ected, and I’m not going to that house.” She shook her head back and forth.

Mamm
bolted upright from her chair, and Betsy’s face twisted into a frown. “Betsy! To your room. Right now. You are being rude.” Their mother pointed to the stairs as her face turned a bright shade of red. “There is a load of clothes on my bed that needs folding. Tel David good-bye.”

Betsy huffed and then stood up. She gave a quick wave in David’s direction; then she stomped across the room to the stairs.
Mamm
waited until Betsy was out of earshot before she turned her attention to Emily.

“Where does
mei dochder
come up with this sil iness?”
Mamm
sighed. “I wil most surely be havin’ a talk with Lizzie’s mother.”

Emily shrugged, and
Mamm
turned back to David. “I apologize for Betsy. We continue to scold her for making up such outrageous stories. Betsy is a smart girl, but she has a big imagination.” She took a deep breath and stood tal er. “I’m sure that you and your family wil make the
haus
into a wonderful home. And I’m sure the community wil help you.”

David nodded with a half-smile, then stood up from the rocker. “I best be going. I’ve stil got to go to Monte Vista for some supplies.”

Emily wasn’t surprised by his desire to get out of their house. He probably thought they were al a bit
ab im kopp
. He’d witnessed Emily react like a crazy woman earlier in the shop, and Betsy said there were snakes in his basement left there by an evil witch. Emily couldn’t help but grin. Maybe he wouldn’t come around too much.

But then there was tered what happened,
Mamm
. Always trying to make up for her family’s actions by running her perfect household with a smile on her face. Always perfect, always happy. It never mat
Mamm
carried on as the ideal
fraa
and
mudder
, with her flawless
haus
and her ability to pretend that everything was good . . . al the time. Betsy often made that difficult, but three months ago it had been Emily who chal enged her mother to face tragedy and stil keep a smile on her face.

“Wait right here.”
Mamm
jumped up and scurried toward the kitchen. Emily drew in a breath and blew it out slowly as she avoided David’s eyes on her.

Don’t look at me
. She wanted to reach up and cover the scar on her forehead, but doing so would only draw attention to it, so she fought the urge, leaned into the back of the couch, and kept her eyes down.

“Guess I’l see you Sunday.” David smiled as he spoke, and Emily felt her chest tighten.

Her mouth dropped open slightly, but she quickly snapped it shut. After a moment, she said, “You won’t like the singings here. Hardly anyone comes.”

She shook her head as she stood up and faced him. “I wouldn’t waste your time.”

“Jacob said there wil be some single ladies here.”

Emily locked eyes with him for the first time since he’d arrived. Nervously, she moistened her dry lips and shrugged. “Maybe.” Then she looked away as her stomach churned, wishing he’d just leave and not come back. She knew his type. Charming and good-looking—but deceitful, which could cause a girl to let down her guard.

She shivered as a brief flashback threatened to squeeze her throat shut and leave her breathless, a feeling she’d had more than once.

“But
you
don’t want me to come on Sunday?” He rubbed his chin for a moment, then dropped his hand and fumbled with his hat.

Emily was relieved when
Mamm
walked back into the den.

“Here, David. You carry these things to Lil ian.” meal cookies.” She smiled as David stood and accepted the bag. “And you tel Lil ian to stop by anytime. And not to panic. We wil al help you get things together at your new home.”
Mamm
pushed a large, brown paper bag toward him. “There are three loaves of bread, some pretzels, and a batch of my famous oat

“
Danki
, Vera. I know Lil ian wil be real appreciative.” He moved to leave,
Mamm
fol owing. Emily was relieved when he was almost out the door.

He turned around before he pul ed on the handle. “See you Sunday, Emily.” An easy smile played at the corners of his mouth. Emily bit her bottom lip, then forced a smile.

“
Gut, gut.
”
Mamm
gazed at him as if he were the answer to al her prayers.

Emily began to calculate.
Today is Wednesday. Four days
.

Four days to find an excuse not to be at her own house during the singing.

Two

LILLIAN HELD LITTLE ELIZABETH’S HAND AS THEY waited outside the outhouse for Anna. Elizabeth had no qualms about venturing across the front yard to their primitive accommodations, so Lil ian couldn’t understand why her older daughter refused to make the trip by herself.

“Anna, are you almost done?” Lil ian sighed and fought to tamp down her building anger about this move. She knew Samuel thought it was best for al of them, and she struggled not to question God’s wil , but as she stood outside the boxlike structure with a half moon carved on the wooden door, she just shook her head.

“It’s stinky in here,
Mamm
.”

Lil ian leaned her face closer to the door. “Then you best hurry, no?” She smiled down at Elizabeth; then she gazed across the snow-covered flatlands of their new home. She raised one hand to her forehead to block the sun’s glare. It was amazing how there could be so much snow on the ground and yet the sun was blazing down on them. It felt much warmer than Lil ian knew it to be. She lifted her eyes to the mountains that surrounded them in every direction.

Samuel said to think of it as the Promised Land, a place where they’d start anew and get out of debt. Every time she thought about their home in Lancaster County, her eyes watered up. Now was no exception.

She couldn’t fault her husband, though. After David’s kidney transplant five years ago, Samuel had struggled to keep up with everything. Samuel’s shunned brother, Noah, had donated one of his kidneys to David and had paid for most of the expenses related to the transplant surgery, the larger invoices that would have put a strain on the community health care fund. However, medical bil s continued to trickle in long after the surgery, and David’s medications cost over a thousand dol ars a month.

“But isn’t that what the health care fund is for?” she’d asked Samuel when she found out he’d taken out a mortgage on their home. Her husband didn’t feel comfortable extracting additional funds for fol ow-up care because several of the elderly folks in their district were receiving chemotherapy for cancer.

Samuel also refused to al ow his brother to continue paying the bil s.

“Anna, aren’t you done yet,
mei maedel
?” Lil ian knocked on the door.

“Almost.”

Elizabeth let go of her mother’s hand and reached down into the snow, piling a mound in her hands. “Elizabeth, don’t do that.” Lil ian gently eased her up and brushed the snow from her black mittens. “We don’t know what’s underneath al this snow.” She glanced around the yard and focused on a pile of tin lightly covered in white powder. Junk. Everywhere.

The door swung open, and Anna jumped out, her cheeks a rosy shade of red. “It’s cold and stinky in there. When is
Daed
going to make us a bathroom?”

Not soon enough
. “It’s the first thing on
Daed’s
list.” Lil ian reached for Anna’s hand, and the three of them made their way back to the house, fol owing the path that had been formed from prior trips to the outhouse today. As they crossed the yard, she looked to her left to see Katie Ann sweeping the porch of their home. The smal er house was about a hundred yards away, and from what Lil ian had seen of it the night before, it was in much better shape than this oversized shack they were living in. But Samuel said that Katie Ann and Ivan didn’t need this big house since they didn’t have any children.

Lil ian pul ed on the screen door, pushed the door to the den open, and felt the musty smel of lingering water rush up her nostrils. Samuel temporarily repaired the leaky roof earlier that morning, but it was going to take a long time to rid the house of the dingy odor.

“Where do we hang our capes,
Mamm
?” Anna stared up at Lil ian, batting her inquisitive eyes.

Lil ian sidestepped a pile of boxes to her right. “Somewhere in al this mess, there is a hat rack. We’l run across it. See if there are any pegs on the wal in the kitchen.” She pointed to her left. “And be careful where you step, Anna. Some of those boards in the kitchen feel loose. Step very careful y, honey, okay?” Lil ian shook her head and grumbled.
This house
must
be safe for my children
. Her life back in Lancaster County was luxurious compared to this.

“Here you go, sweetheart. Let me help you.” Lil ian untied the strings of Elizabeth’s bonnet, then removed her cape. They both fol owed Anna into the kitchen.

“No pegs,
Mamm
.” Anna held up her smal black cape and bonnet.

Lil ian sighed. “Here, give it to me. We’l just put it here for now.” Lil ian draped the items over the back of Samuel’s chair at the head of the table. At least their table, two backless benches, and two arm chairs were in place in the kitchen. She glanced at the box on the kitchen counter, the one with the broken plates inside, and supposed that if those were the only things damaged, she could live with it. The moving company had done an excel ent job overal , but loading the buggies into the moving vans had been chal enging. And Samuel had been visibly relieved when the horse trailer final y pul ed up to their new house with his long-time horse, Pete, and two others inside.