Seeking Karma (2 page)

     I hadn’t planned on going to the bonfire.  With the way I’m feeling right now, I’ll probably still be hung over.  “I don’t know.  Maybe,” I somehow manage to grind out.  Deep down I know better.  If there’s the slightest chance that she’ll be there, I’ll definitely be there.  There’s no
way in hell, I’d ever pass up a chance to be near her, or just to look at her.  Because right now, standing this close to her, is far better than all of my teenage wet dreams combined.  Whoa!  I really need to get my vagina in check.

CHAPTER 4

KARMA

     “What do you mean, you didn’t tell him?”  Anna shrieks, making me cringe.  I’d planned on breaking up with him, I really did.  It was the perfect time too.  We were in a McDonalds, and it was packed.  I knew there was no way that he’d try anything, in front of all of those people.  I’d just opened my mouth to tell him I was done - when he’d spotted one of his frat brothers.  He introduced us, and I swear that guy had looked so familiar.  I kept trying to place where I’d seen him before.  By the time the guy left, I’d completely lost my nerve.  I know.  I’m pathetic.

     “I will do it.”  I assure her.  “I just need to find the right time.”

     “There’s no such thing as a right time!”  She throws her arms in the air, and paces around the room.

     “I didn’t mean…” I trail off, feeling embarrassed.  I’m so messed up.

     “What?”  She snaps, stopping in front of me.

     “I meant, I need a safe time.”  I mutter.  I need a
place where there’ll be lots of people.  Preferably near a hospital, because there’s a really good chance he’ll beat the shit out of me anyway.

      Anna’s face lights up, and she arches her brows.  Oh no!  I know this look.  I’ve seen it many times over this past year.  She has an idea.  God, help me!

     I keep staring at her, waiting to hear it.  But, she just keeps tapping her foot against the floor, her grin spreading clear across her face.  “Well,” I throw my hands up into the air.  “Are you going to tell me, or not?”  The suspense is killing me.

     “Okay, okay,” she does this little jumpy thing, and sits down next to me.  “You probably aren’t going to like it, but just hear me out, okay?”

     I nod my head a couple of times.  “Fine, just tell me already.”  This is getting ridiculous.

      “His frat is having a bonfire, Friday night.”

     “No.  No way.”  I’m shaking my head frantically.  She’s right.  I don’t like it, not one bit.  It’s not happening.  The last time I was at his frat house, I got body slammed against a brick wall.  His frat is off limits.

     Anna grabs my arm, before I can get off of the bed.  “Just hear me out.”  She pleads, squeezing my arm.  I press my lips together and look over at her.  “I’ll be right by your side the entire time
. I promise!” - she assures me.  “You know as well as I do - that there’ll be tons of people there.  The best part is that he’ll probably be too drunk to do anything about it.”  She stops abruptly, tapping her index finger against her chin.  “Wait a minute.  Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”

     “What?  Why not?”  I was just starting to warm up to the idea.  I especially like the
part about him being too drunk, to do anything.

     She has her brows creased, deep in thought.  “Well, if he’s that drunk, he may not even remember you dumping his ass.  Then all of this will have been a complete waste of time.
”

     I shrug my shoulders.  “We’ll just have to work on our timing.”  Holy hell!  I’m so desperate to get away from the guy; I’m willing to risk it.  “You know, go late enough so he’s been drinking, but early enough, that he’s not totally wasted.”  Yea
h, this could actually work.  Now I’m the one with the stupid grin.

CHAPTER 5

TRENT

     Yep, it’s official.  I’ve turned into a creepy stalker dude.  I have
done nothing the past few days, except think of her.  She fills every minute, hell, every second of my day.  I’ve lost track on how many cold showers I’ve taken.  My wrist is starting to get sore.  I still can’t believe she’s right here on campus.  How have I not come across her sooner?  I haven’t missed the irony in all of this.  I’m definitely a fuck-them-and-leave-them kind of guy.  So, how funny is it - that I’m now obsessed with someone named Karma? Of all fucking names!  Who in the hell names their daughter Karma?  I shake my head, and take a drink of luke warm beer.  That’s right, no liquor for me tonight.  I need to keep a clear head, and a sharp eye.

     I step out of the house and scan the lawn.  For the first time in – well ever,
I’m actually looking for that dumbass, Aaron.  Who would have thought?  Sure as hell not me!  I’ve just hit an all new low.  But, if Karma is here, she’ll definitely be with him, the mother fucker!  As big of an asshole as he is, I know he wouldn’t let her roam around here on her own.  She’s way too beautiful for that.  All of the guys would be all over her in a heartbeat.

     After a couple of trips around the fire, I come to the conclusion that he must still be inside.  As this sinks into my skull, I freeze.  If he’s still inside with a full blown party going on, then he’s definitely not alone.  Fuck me!  He probably has her in his bed, right now.
  I squeeze the plastic cup so hard, it cracks, spilling beer down the front of my shirt.  Mother fucker!  He doesn’t deserve her.

     I slam my fist against a tree,
on my way back towards the house.  I have to get all of this anger out, now!  Unfortunately, Aaron isn’t around.  I’d much rather take it out on him.

     I shake my head several times.  It’s throbbing in time with my heartbeat.  I don’t give a shit.

     Once I’m in my room, I jerk my shirt off, and grab a clean one.  I force myself to sit down on my bed.  I need to calm down, and keep a clear head.  If I go back out there… oh, who am I kidding?  I’m definitely going back.  If there’s a chance of seeing her again, I’m definitely going to do it.

     Several moans stops me
outside of Aaron’s room.  I lean my head against the doorframe and clutch my hands into fists.  He’s definitely got her in his bed, and I’m some fucking loser, spying on them.  “Oh, Aaron.  Yes, yes, yes, I’m com…”  Her cries fade, and my heart plummets into my stomach.  It should be my name she’s calling.  He’s not the one who’s been dreaming about her the past eight years - I am!

     My
fist is in the air, ready to beat the fucking door in.  What am I going to do then?  I don’t have a clue.  But it involves beating the shit out of Aaron Jones.  The door suddenly swings open, and Aaron is standing there, looking at me.  “Trent, what’s up man?”  His jeans are still unbuttoned, and he has his shirt in his hand.  I look over his shoulder, at the girl standing next to his bed.  She’s wearing a pair of shorts, and her arm is covering her bare chest.  Her eyes are wide as she gapes at me.  Her green eyes.  She’s definitely not Karma, not even close.  I release a long breath, and relax my shoulders.  I’m not sure what to say.  I must look like a raving lunatic.  On the one hand, I’m so fucking relieved, I could do a dance.  On the other hand, I want to bitch slap, the smug expression right off of his face.  He has the most beautiful, perfect girl in the world, and he’s cheating on her! I would happily give my pathetic life for one night with her, and this is how he treats her.  I know, I sound like a complete hypocrite.  I’ve screwed tons of girls, but that’s different.  They all know where I stand, and most importantly, that I’m single.

     I swallow hard.  “I was just wondering why you weren’t at the party.”  I know, I sound like a complete pussy, but let’s be serious.  How can I possibly explain me ease dropping outside of his door, like a little bitch?

     He nods his head back towards the redhead.  “I got a little distracted.”  He gives me a light punch on the shoulder.  “Do you blame me?”

     I nod my head a couple of times, and walk away from him.  I have to put some distance between us, before I throttle him.

CHAPTER 6

KARMA

     My hands are trembling as I pull out another pair of jeans, from my closet.  I’ve tried on three different pairs - so far.  I have to be careful about what I wear, especially since we’re going to his frat house.  If my clothes are too tight and clingy, he’ll accuse me of screwing all of his frat brothers.  It wouldn’t be the first time.

     I slip the jeans on, and feel a little better.  They’re a pair of older jeans from high school, and they’re a little baggy, plus they’re black.  Hopefully, they’ll help me blend into the darkness.  I’ve lost quite a bit of weight since I started dating Aaron.  My nerves are completely shot
and I don’t have much of an appetite anymore.  I find a dark green t-shirt, and slip it over my head.  There, that should do it.  I check my reflection in the mirror on the back of the door.  Yep, nothing sexy about me. I even pulled my hair back into a ponytail.  Fortunately, my eye has mostly healed, so I don’t need a lot of make-up.  Just a thin layer of foundation, blush, and gloss.  I don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard.

     I turn around and look at Anna.  It must be nice
to dress any way she wants.  She’s wearing a pair of denim cut-offs, showing off her long legs.  She’s matched it up with a barely there white tank top.  Her dark hair is curled and, hanging down her back.  Standing next to her, I look completely frumpy.  I definitely won’t have to worry about anyone noticing me.  She’s a total knock out.

     She picks up her phone, and keys off of the desk.  “You ready to go?”  It’s just a little after nine, and my mouth feels like it’s filled with sand.  What if we get there too early and he isn’t drunk enough?  What if we’re already
too late, and he’s so trashed he doesn’t even recognize me?  What if he doesn’t care that there are tons of people, and kills me anyway?  All of the “what-ifs” have my head spinning.  I lean forward, and wipe my sweaty palms onto my jeans.

      “Hey,” Anna puts her hand on my shoulder.  “It’s going to be okay.  I’ll be right by your side.”  She assures me
, squeezing my shoulder.

      I nod my head and straighten up. 
I can do this.
  I promise myself.  I feel numb as we climb into the elevator.  Several seconds later, the elevator dings and the doors slide open.  I feel like my heart is in my throat.  We shuffle forward, and I sigh at all of the people in the main room.  They all look so happy.  It must be nice.  I just hope that after tonight, if I live through it, I can be happy again.

CHAPTER 7

TRENT

     I’ve completely given up on all hopes of seeing Karma tonight.  As big of a dumbass as Aaron is, even he wouldn’t fuck some random girl in his room - if he’d invited his girlfriend.  I shake my head with disgust.  I still can’t believe she’s with such a loser.  What is she thinking?

     I re-fill
ed my plastic cup.  Yep, that’s right.  My plan on staying semi-sober flew right out the window - when I realized
she
wouldn’t be here.  I glance out past the fire, and see Aaron making out with another girl - right in front of God and everybody.  If only Karma could see him now.  Maybe she’d wise up and dump his sorry ass.

     I spot my buddy Dave
, with his girlfriend, Sherry, standing not too far from Aaron, and make my way over to them.  Dave is a pretty decent guy.  At least, he doesn’t fuck around on his girl.

     “Hey Trent
, you flying solo tonight?”  He grins at me.  Most people around here aren’t used to seeing me wondering around alone.  I usually have a girl on my lap, or in my room.

     I nod my he
ad a couple of times.  “For now.”  As I look more closely at all the half- naked girls, I realize none of them are doing it for me.  Ever since I realized that my dream girl – literally – is right here on campus, none of the other girls seem remotely good enough.  It’s her that I want – Karma.  Deep down, she’s all I’ve ever wanted, and I won’t quit until I make her mine.

     “Come
on Karma!  Don’t wuss out on me now!”  My head snaps back in the direction, where I heard her name.  Holy hell!  She’s here!  There’s another girl pulling her around the side of the house.  Karma keeps pulling back shaking her head frantically.  I glance in Aaron’s direction.  He’s still grinding on the girl, completely oblivious to her being here.  “I’ll catch you guys later,” I tell Dave and Sherry.