Seeking Shelter (10 page)

His eyes met hers and she felt her nipples bead. Without a word, she turned and hurried out of the room, almost wishing he was the kind of man who would follow her and act on the thoughts she knew were in his mind. But he wasn’t. And she wasn’t the kind of woman who’d respond.

Was she?

Reaching her room, she yanked off the shirt and sodden bra and tossed them into a heap in the corner.

“Amy—”

She quickly covered herself with her arms.

Their eyes met again. This time there was nowhere for her to run. His gaze never left hers as he stood there in the open doorway.

And then he approached, his chest rising and falling with each step until his body heat caressed her bare skin.

“You are...” He finally looked down, drinking her in. “...beautiful.” He reached out, sifting his fingers through her hair and settling his palm against the nape of her neck. The gentleness of his touch encouraged her to lean toward him.

He kissed her. His lips were firm and yet soft. Then he stepped closer.

Amy couldn’t think. She let herself feel for the first time in a very, very long time. The silkiness of his long hair against her fingers, and his chest pressing into her breasts, made her knees weak.

Suddenly, cool air washed over her and she opened her eyes. When had she closed them? Jace stood several feet away. When had he moved?

His gaze, which had been so hot, so intense, was now distant and cool. What had she done?

She opened her mouth to speak, but before a word came out, he spun on his heel. This time he was the one who ran.

Amy hurried to the closet and grabbed her thickest, heaviest sweatshirt. She shivered, but it wasn’t all from the cold.

She heard the back door slam. Dressed again, she was halfway up the stairs before she registered the sounds coming from the kitchen. He’d gone out and come back in? She halted on the same step she’d stopped on before. Jace was packing up all his tools.

“What are you doing?” She was too shocked to be embarrassed by what had happened.

He stilled, staring at the screwdriver in his hand as if just realizing it was there. He didn’t look up the way she expected him to.

“I may not be the most upstanding guy, but I don’t take advantage of women.” Something akin to guilt laced his voice.

“I know that.”

Jace briefly closed his eyes, then resumed cleaning up. When everything was in the toolbox, he came to face her. “Let me pass, Amy.”

She put her hand on his arm, and felt his tension as his hands clenched. “Don’t go,” she whispered.

He paused but didn’t let go of the toolbox. Then he did look up and the pain in his eyes nearly staggered her. But she didn’t take her hand from his arm.

“You don’t know what you’re asking,” he whispered.

“Don’t I?” She moved her hand gently up his arm. “I’ve had a child. I know what it’s like to be with a man.”

“Not a man like me.”

“And what kind of man is that?”

His eyes narrowed to a glare. “You said it yourself. A man who leaves his family and ends up on the streets isn’t a good man.”

“I didn’t mean you when I said that.”

“Maybe not, but it applies. I was sixteen when I ran away from home. I never saw my mother again.”

Was he being honest or was he trying to push Amy away? Jace was most certainly a good man. He’d shown that in his every action since arriving. Why didn’t he believe in himself? Her heart pounded. She wanted, needed him to understand that she didn’t think badly of him. Just the opposite. She wasn’t afraid of him. She was afraid of herself. Afraid of what she’d already begun to feel for him. Caryn was right; Amy was attracted to him. And that attraction increased every time she saw him, touched him, kissed him.

Jace was so different from the other men in her life. She liked that.

He was tall, but up on the step she was eye to eye with him. When she felt his warm hands on her waist, she thought he planned to move her out of his way as he had before. But instead, he lifted her off her feet.

Looking down at him, she found her hair falling around both their faces, creating their own little world. Slowly, ever so slowly, Jace eased her down his body, and the thick sweatshirt she’d donned as protection scooted up.

Inch by inch, her belly, her ribs, the underside of her breasts felt his hot flesh. Her lips tasted his and she was lost.

CHAPTER TEN

“A
MY
?” H
ANK
CALLED
from somewhere in the distance. His footsteps registered overhead as he moved across the store toward the stairs.

Amy tore away from Jace’s embrace, her breath frozen. She shoved her tangled hair out of her eyes to stare up at him. He looked as disoriented as she felt.

“Damn.” Shaking her head, she moved up the stairs. Even though Hank’s footsteps were close, she paused and looked back at Jace. He’d turned away, his arms braced against the counter.

She hustled on up before Hank got the bright idea to come down and see why she wasn’t answering. “I’m right here,” she called, hoping that would stop him.

The old man stood at the top, leaning on his cane. His left eyebrow lifted questioningly. “Is something wrong?”

“No.” She tried to calm her breathing. “Why?”

“Well, you’re downstairs in the middle of the workday, and you’re out of breath.”

She scowled at him and headed toward the front of the store. “Jace asked me to double-check the, uh...the cabinet plans. They look great, by the way. And I just ran up the stairs....” She was babbling, but couldn’t help herself.

Hank didn’t say a thing, though she could see he wanted to. He simply shook his head and followed her. “I came to pick up those steaks I ordered.” He stopped in front of the deli case. “If they’re ready.”

“They’re ready.” She didn’t like the question in his eyes. Her cheeks warmed. She knew exactly what he was thinking. And even though it was probably accurate, it was none of his business.

She finished wrapping up the steaks and sighed. She lived under a freakin’ microscope. Katie eavesdropped on everything she and Jace discussed, Gavin stared down his legal nose at her, Hank and Rick kept trying to watch out for her, while Caryn encouraged her to take a risk....

Amy couldn’t win. She just couldn’t win.

“And I brought this.” Hank laid a manila folder on the counter. She frowned as he flipped it open. A check from the estate account rested on top of a copy of the tax papers. She’d completely forgotten about it, which wasn’t unusual. She shut the ranch out of her life as much as possible.

“Oh, thanks.” Guilt at her earlier thoughts made her cringe. He meant well.

“Just promise me you’ll be careful,” Hank said softly, with a glance over his shoulder.

“What? I... I don’t know what you mean.” Even she heard the lie in her voice. Hank actually chuckled and she gave up trying to pretend. “I thought you liked him.”

Hank shrugged. “I do, but I’ve been wrong before.” He looked her in the eye. “What I think won’t make a bit of difference if he hurts you.”

Amy’s cheeks warmed. She did not want to know what Hank was thinking. “I’m not talking to you about this, Hank. It’s just—crazy.” She threw up her hands. “I’ll put that on your tab.”

She pulled out the ledger book and made the notations on Hank’s account. He didn’t say anything more, simply picked up the meat and headed out the door.

Amy leaned back against the wall. She thought about banging her head against it a few dozen times.

It was just a kiss, she told herself. A simple kiss, albeit hotter than hell. It didn’t mean anything. Really. It didn’t. She closed her eyes. Who was she trying to fool?

It meant a lot, at least to her. But to Jace? That was the problem. She didn’t know what he thought, or felt.

Besides, she had a daughter to think of, and getting involved with a man who was just passing through town was downright stupid. But... She opened her eyes and looked back toward the stairs, hearing Jace moving around, making final touches on her brand-new kitchen.

She knew all too well where mislaid trust could get her. And if she didn’t remember, those papers Hank had brought were a potent reminder.

But she didn’t want to end up like Hank. Or Caryn...or her mother. Amy didn’t want to be alone. She wanted what she’d always wanted. A home. A family. To be loved.

And Jace Holmes wasn’t the kind of guy to make anyone think of hearts and flowers. He was a drifter who rode a Harley.

“You okay?” Jace’s unexpected voice startled her, and she knocked the ledger book to the floor. She took her time reaching down, fighting the overwhelming urge to turn to him, to forget all the warnings she’d just given herself. When she finally met his gaze, she saw the same resistance simmering there.

“Uh, yeah. Did you need something?”

“No, just wanted to know what time you can leave tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” What had she forgotten?

“Yeah.” He stepped closer, a smile growing on his face as if he knew exactly how confused she felt. “The trip to Phoenix? Remember? To choose the appliances.”

They’d talked about this, she remembered, but for the life of her she couldn’t remember what they’d decided. Heck, she couldn’t remember much of anything when he looked at her that way.

After a moment, Jace cleared his throat, breaking the silence between them.

“Uh, yeah.” Amy busied herself rearranging the papers on the counter. “I finish up here around noon.”

“Noon?” he asked. “That’s early.”

“Not on Saturday. That’s the day everyone shops in the city. It’s not worth it for me to be open later.”

“Cool. I’ll pick you up around one.”

“Pick me up? In what?” She had a bad feeling about this.

Jace laughed. “Not
in
anything. On my bike.” He said it so casually.

“No way.” Amy waved her hands in the air, as if she could erase the idea. “No way am I getting on a motorcycle.”

“Well, we sure as hell aren’t going in that tin can you call a car.”

Did she actually see him shudder? Well, she was not giving in. “There’s nothing wrong with my car.” Not much, anyway.

She did have to admit that fitting him inside might be a challenge. He was at least six foot four and her entire car was lucky to be that long. The image of him with his knees bent up around his ears almost made her laugh. She got the feeling he wouldn’t appreciate it.

“Besides, we can’t bring anything home on a motorcycle,” she added.

“And what? We’re strapping a stove on the roof of that thing? It’ll cave in.”

Okay, so he had a point. “Then how are we getting them?”

“Ever hear of delivery?”

“Of course I have. But how much is that going to cost?”

“That’s not an issue.” As if everything were resolved, Jace turned back to the stairs.

“I’m still not getting on a motorcycle.”

“Fine. I’ll go without you.”

Oh, no, he wasn’t. This was her kitchen and he’d agreed to let her—no, he’d
pushed
her—to pick out the appliances. “I don’t think so.”

“Then you can meet me there.” He’d reached the stairs. “I don’t get in cars—or cabs of trucks, if that’s what you’re thinking. It’s my bike or nothing.”

He looked back at her, his chin at a very determined angle. She wanted to yell at him. He had to have a reason for being so stubborn. Why didn’t he just tell her why?

Yeah, because he was the type to share his emotions and fears.
Not.

Exasperated, Amy watched him go back down to the kitchen. Instead of following him, she headed back to her office. “This isn’t over yet,” she mumbled and thought she heard him say, “I heard that.” But she couldn’t be sure. Later, she’d talk some sense into him.

* * *

D
EMOLITION
OF
A
KITCHEN
was very therapeutic, Jace decided. He’d taken out the rest of the old cabinets and carried them upstairs to the Dumpster before he stopped. Even then, Amy’s refusal to get on his bike irritated him. At least that’s what he told himself was bothering him.

Granted, he should have thought about it. Not everyone was comfortable on a motorcylce, but he was more than uncomfortable in a car. He had no intention of sharing the bit about his claustrophobia with Amy, or anyone. Not a chance. She didn’t need to know. The only time it was really an issue was at night when he slept.

And in close, tight spaces like the inside of a car. Being in the basement didn’t really bother him. Every once in a while he’d get that closed-in feeling and he’d take a jog upstairs.

Like now, with an armload of wood. The thud of it hitting the side of the Dumpster was satisfying.

“Hey, I’d have helped with that,” Rick said from the alley.

“Don’t you have a garage to run?” Jace wasn’t in the mood for any questions.

“Closed up for lunch. Thought I’d head over to the diner. Want to join me?”

And watch the simmering glances between him and Caryn the whole time? “No, thanks.” Not after that kiss Jace had just shared with Amy. Hell, he’d be coming back here and dragging her downstairs....

With a wave, Rick headed on to the diner and Jace watched him go. From here, he could see a good chunk of the town, the comings and goings of a whole world he hadn’t known existed until a few days ago. He realized he knew a lot of them, and actually liked them.

Yeah, he was fine. He was standing out in the baking sun, staring at a Dumpster. He headed back indoors, focused on work. There was still no way in hell he was going to Phoenix, a two-hour drive, in a car—with Amy and a backseat.

* * *

“M
AMA
?” K
ATIE
WHISPERED
,
just as Amy started to pull the bedroom door closed.

“I thought you were asleep.”

“Nope.” Katie sat up, a silly grin on her face. “I was just pretendin’.”

“Tomorrow’s going to come really early.” Amy went back into her daughter’s room and perched on the edge of her bed. “You need to go to sleep.”

“I know, but I’m so excited.” The little girl wiggled, practically bouncing on the mattress.

“Why?” Amy was fairly sure she didn’t want to know.

“’Cause you and Mr. Jace are going away.” Katie giggled. “Together.”

Alarmed, Amy tried to control her rising anxiety. “We’re going to Phoenix to pick out a new refrigerator and stove. We’re not taking a vacation together.”

She giggled again. “When Lisa’s mom and dad went away, they went to Las Vegas and came back married.” Katie practically squealed.

Amy hadn’t considered what her daughter would think about this trip. She’d been too focused on trying to get Jace to agree to take her car. She’d failed, and the trepidation she felt about climbing on that monster bike tomorrow overshadowed everything.

“Uh, sweetie, I hate to disappoint you, but Mr. Jace and I are not getting married. We’re just friends.” Remembering the afternoon’s kiss, she wondered if it was a sin to lie to your child for her own good.

Katie stopped bouncing on the bed, and the room grew quiet. “Are you sure?”

“Very sure, honey. Why would you think we’d get married?”

“’Cause you said we’d start looking for a daddy.” Her voice came out in a painful whine. “You promised.”

“I said we’d look. I didn’t say we’d find one.”

Katie fell silent, not moving. “So, nothing’s gonna be different around here?” she finally muttered.

Guilt ripped through Amy. “I don’t know what to tell you.” She’d been at a loss many times during Katie’s life, but nothing like this. She could almost hear the hurt filling the room. She knew her daughter wanted a dad, but it wasn’t as if Amy had a magic wand she could wave to fix everything.

“That’s not fair.” Katie flopped back down on the pillow and turned her back. “I don’t like you right now, Mama.”

Katie was parroting words that Amy often said, but she left off the important part:
But I love you anyway.
Amy waited for her to say it, but she didn’t. She simply scooted farther away, pulling the covers up over her head.

They’d already done the bedtime ritual. The kiss good-night. The tucking in. The final hug. All done. Slowly, her heart hurting, Amy stood.

She couldn’t let Katie go to sleep so unhappy, and she couldn’t tear herself away from the child she loved so much. Slowly, she bent over and repeated the tucking of the blankets around Katie’s tiny figure.

“I didn’t break my promise,” she whispered. “We’ll keep looking, okay?”

Though she felt her daughter’s nod, she didn’t think she was really forgiven. Slowly, Amy walked back to the door and pulled it most of the way shut. As always, she left it open a crack so she could hear if Katie needed her.

Amy leaned back against the wall, knowing she’d lied to her daughter, not about this weekend’s plans, but about how she felt about Jace. She closed her eyes and pictured the man who only a couple of hours ago had pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

And then walked away as if nothing had happened.

* * *

J
ACE
INSISTED
THEY
LEAVE
Rattlesnake Bend the instant she closed the store. She was open only half a day on Saturday, which gave them at least half the afternoon to shop. And since she didn’t open Sunday morning, they didn’t have to rush back.

They found what they were looking for after only a couple of stops, and Jace quickly arranged for the deliveries. It still amazed her that she was getting a new stove and refrigerator.

After a quick dinner, they planned to head back home. Amy waited for Jace outside the restaurant. The place had been busy, so he was standing in line to pay for their meal. She’d tried to pay her share, but short of a public argument, she couldn’t seem to get her point across.

This wasn’t the way she ran her life. She wasn’t normally disagreeable about accepting help from people, but when money was involved, it made her uncomfortable.

Add that to all the other emotions Jace stirred up inside her and right now she was
really
uncomfortable.

Needing something besides pacing to distract herself, she examined the display of tourist literature. The last time they’d come to Phoenix, Katie had fallen in love with just such a display of brightly colored flyers and had wanted to take a whole bunch home. They didn’t travel much, but at least once a year they made a day of it, eating out and shopping in Phoenix.