Experiencing anger. Thrusting the covers away, feeling feverish. I'm completely awake now. I flick on the green copper lamp and probe the creepy dim corners with sensitive eyes. I patter out of my bedroom to get water from the fridge; the tiles are therapeutic after the heat of my need consumed me.
The white tiles are littered with speckles of moonlight, forcing my bare feet to seem deathly pale. I stare at pink nail polish on my toes, examining them without seeing them. Thinking deeply about how lucid that dream was. A psychic connection so strong. Absently I flick long dark hair behind my shoulder and pad silently back to the waiting futon and MacBook.
Flopping back across the rumpled hunter green linen of the bed, I yank the laptop toward myself in simmering rage. Activating it, I wait for my email to load. The glare is harsh emanating from the screen. Like a brat in the throws of a tantrum I begin beating my hands into the closest pillow.
"What have you done to me!"
If I wasn't so angry I'd laugh at myself. Yelling into an empty home. At what point did I lose my sanity?
I scroll down to find his email when his scent wafts over me with overpowering intensity. Snapping my head up I inhale deeply. I jump up and sniff, following the sirocco scent out of the room until I lose it. With weird paranoia I even look up to examine the ceiling. Lazy lights reflect off the ceiling from a passing security vehicle. Passing slowly like a stalker trying to be unobtrusive. Ghostly breath shivers down my spine.
"Seithe, are you here?"
Silence.
"Coward!"
I spin, I'm in the fun-house trying to see through mirrors. "Face me! Come on! Deal with the monster you've created!"
Nothing.
Am I losing it?
My mouth tightens with fierce determination. I pounce on my computer like a woman on a mission for shithead annihilation. I click on his email and activate reply.
PhoebeMartin:
What did you want?
Send
Chime: RevengeOfTheSeithe:
Good evening beautiful. What did I want? You. All of you.
Frenetic fingers type back...
PhoebeMartin:
You were here! I know you were!
Send
Chime: RevengeOfTheSeithe:
You are simply projecting your desires into your reality. It's called manifestation.
PhoebeMartin:
UP YOURS! DON'T PATRONISE ME!
Send
Chime: RevengeOfTheSeithe:
You are still angry my petal. I knew I shouldn't have let you go until you had worked through the experience.
PhoebeMartin: AIM NOW!
Send
Chime: RevengeOfTheSeithe:
As you wish.
With simmering impatience I launch my AOL Instant Messenger. I do a search for his email. Click on friend request.
Ding!
SEITHER: Good evening precious. I see you are experiencing some anger issues now.
PHOEBESMILES: YOU WERE HERE!
SEITHER: Was I now?
PHOEBESMILES: YES!
SEITHER:
I do love your fiery spirit.
PHOEBESMILES: Go get fucked!
SEITHER: Nothing I say seems to matter. So then accuse me and be done with it.
I stare at those words, processing them again and again. Swallowing heavily I snatch up my bottle of water. Suddenly so parched. I sip absently, almost ready to reply when I taste the allspice. Its distinctive tang is so strong I am beyond doubt.
PHOEBESMILES: INSTINCT ASSHOLE! You told me to trust it! And it's telling me YOU WERE HERE!
SEITHER: Explain how I am home to answer your emails and there?
PHOEBESMILES: I can't.
SEITHER: Permission to laugh?
PHOEBESMILES: You fuck with my head!
SEITHER: You have it all wrong. You're supposed to be fucking with mine.
PHOEBESMILES:
ASS!
I hate that I'm now smiling. I'm angry with him. Very! But he still manages to get me to smile.
PHOEBESMILES: What do you do?
SEITHER: I'm a head fucker apparently.
PHOEBESMILES: I mean for a living...
SEITHER: Aah! I'm a professional hacker.
PHOEBESMILES: NO FUCKING WAY!
SEITHER: Big corporations pay big money to have me test their firewalls and software. I get paid to enter the back door.
PHOEBESMILES: So you work from home?
SEITHER: Yes.
PHOEBESMILES: How did you get into that?
SEITHER: I have an innate gift for code.
I stare at the words, tapping my finger undecided. Sucking my bottom lip in, considering if this guy is legit or not.
SEITHER: You aren't the first to doubt me. Would you like me to hack your computer and prove it?
Wicked challenging grin.
PHOEBESMILES: Yes!
I wait a little while.
SEITHER: Who's Brian? What a dick!
Blood drains out of hot cheeks, my focus wavers.
PHOEBESMILES: My ex.
SEITHER: When did he become your ex? The night I met you?
I nod like an idiot. Why am I feeling embarrassed?
PHOEBESMILES: Yes.
SEITHER: No wonder you were so pissed off with men that night.
PHOEBESMILES: I'm pissed off with you too.
SEITHER: Want to get it out of your system?
PHOEBESMILES: I don't trust you! Next time you might feed me to the sharks.
SEITHER: I am laughing here. Phoebe baby, what if I promise to get your permission next time?
PHOEBESMILES: You won't. You're just trying to lure me back so you can murder me and mount me to your wall.
SEITHER: Hmm. I like the mounting to the wall idea.
PHOEBESMILES: HA HA. Very Funny!
SEITHER: Oooh my darling sarcastic spitfire. I am so relieved you're back to your confrontational self.
PHOEBESMILES: Answer me truthfully...
SEITHER: Anything
PHOEBESMILES: Did you drug me with that purple shit?
SEITHER: No. It takes time to get used to it. It's a strong sedative if you've never been exposed to it before. When you get accustomed to it, it has the opposite effect.
PHOEBESMILES: Why me?
SEITHER: Why not you?
PHOEBESMILES: I'm too tired for games.
SEITHER: Then go to sleep.
PHOEBESMILES: Were you here?
SEITHER: I will be if you want me to be.
Now that's a trick question. Tap, tap, tap nail.
PHOEBESMILES: I hate you.
SEITHER: Wow, nice one.
PHOEBESMILES: I can't get you out of my head.
SEITHER: Good. Now get some rest. You are going to need it if I'm expected to mount you to the wall.
PHOEBESMILES: You are such a tease!
SEITHER: I have some things to expose you to first. So when am I going to get your slender legs back in my pad so I can get to the mounting part?
PHOEBESMILES: Will you let me hurt you?
SEITHER: You can try.
PHOEBESMILES: Without fighting back with fucking pressure points!
SEITHER: There are fucking - pressure points? I do love experimentation. Will you teach me those?
Laughter bursts out of me.
PHOEBESMILES: Why are you so bloody irresistible?
SEITHER: God made me that way.
PHOEBESMILES: I have work tomorrow.
SEITHER: And after work?
PHOEBESMILES: Maybe. I'll have to think about it.
SEITHER: You know how to find me. I'm almost always here.
PHOEBESMILES: Okay.
SEITHER: Good night minxy.
PHOEBESMILES: Good night.
I am unaware that I'm smiling indulgently as I close the programs and switch my phone and laptop off. Oddly content, I burrow back under the covers, slipping unresisting into REM.
Chapter 14: Day
It's pouring with rain, yet again! Late spring is always weather-moody like this in Cape Town. Huffing with displeasure, I take the elevator up to the fourteenth floor where I work as executive personal assistant, absently trailing my dripping brolly behind me so I don't get my shoes wet. It's like playing Froggo out there, avoiding puddles.
Work is situated just off Western Boulevard in a new office complex adjacent to the V&A Waterfront. Our unit overlooks the cosmopolitan hubbub of the waterfront, the harbour with cargo carriers and luxury yachts; and on the other side, gives a great view of Table Mountain. All depending on where you are in the building.
I spend far too many lunch hours perusing the stores at the Waterfront. I'm totally addicted to the flea market, and find the nearby Two Oceans Aquarium a serene place to de-stress on hectic days.
Smiling now, this reminds me of the amazing sunfish they had a while back. Such an unusual specimen. A bit like Seithe, simply unique and a one of a kind creation, probably one of God's better creation moments. It goes without saying that I eat fish and chips for lunch frequently. Sometimes I glimpse the excitement of the sea rescue team leaving the waterfront to rescue someone in distress.
I leave my umbrella in the deliberately placed container inside the reception doors before clicking my way over black marble tiles to my desk. I've taken a lot of time to cover the hickeys with make-up. Pressing my black skirted derriere into the typist's chair, I drop my bag into a drawer, switch on my Apple Macintosh, then absently stand in black suede heels, smoothing my white blouse in the process.
Coffee. Stat!
As I'm pouring strong black coffee into my *I hate Mondays* mug, Bella walks in. For the ignorant, that would be the boss I answer to.
"Rough weekend, Phoebe?"
Lordy, is it that obvious?
"You could say that."
"Want to share?"
I observe her putting in four sugars. Yuck.