Seized (Hostage Rescue Team Series, #7) (17 page)

He darted another glance in the direction her brother had gone, then said to her, “Come to Virginia for a few days when you get back.”

“You mean, right after the cruise?”

He nodded. “I’m going to take a few days’ leave when I get back, to let my shoulder heal up. Come away with me. We’ll go to someplace on the coast or maybe in the mountains, just the two of us.”

Elation kindled in the pit of her stomach. Just the two of them, alone for a few days in some romantic location. She could dispel any lingering worries he might have that their shift in relationship status would change who they were as people. He’d see that she was still her, that she wasn’t out to trick or trap him just because they were together.

And the sex they could have. Oh my God, the sex...

Before she could answer, the door off screen opened and Sawyer immediately sobered. “Gotta go. Enjoy the trip to Anchorage.”

There were so many things she wanted to say.
Yes, I’ll go with you. I can’t wait to see you when I get back
.

Or, more honestly,
I love you, Sawyer
.

Because she did. More than he’d ever realize, she’d bet. She got the impression that the situation with Trina and her family had left him feeling unworthy and even cynical of unconditional love. She was determined to prove to him that it not only existed, but that he deserved it and more.

But she couldn’t say any of that now so she resolved to tell him in person when she saw him next, either in Seattle or when she met him in Virginia. Because no way was she turning down the opportunity to steal that precious alone time with him. “I will. Bye.”

After he was gone Carmela turned off her laptop and closed the lid, then laid back against the pillows with a sappy smile and tears gathering in her eyes. She felt like she should pinch herself just to make sure she wasn’t dreaming, hadn’t imagined that whole conversation.

Impossible as it had seemed a few days ago, it felt like she was on the brink of seeing her dream come true. Sawyer wanted a future with her, and she couldn’t wait to seize that chance.

****

S
awyer rushed through his shower a few hours later, ignoring the burn in his right shoulder as he washed up, impatient to get out of there and back to the hotel so he could call Carmela again. It was late, almost one in the morning Seattle time, but if he knew Mama Cruz, she’d still be going strong at the casino so he’d likely catch Carmela alone.

They’d just come from another op where they’d arrested more people linked with Aziz’s cell. Aziz and all the others were being questioned separately in a facility near Lewis-McChord. He should probably have been more focused on that and whatever intel they would divulge to the interrogators, but right now all he could think about was Carmela.

It had been scary as hell to blurt out what he had and ask her to take a getaway trip with him. He hoped she’d say yes, wouldn’t get a decent night’s sleep until he knew her answer. His head told him to walk away before he got hurt again but his heart wouldn’t let him, and there was no way he would shut her out now.

It was terrifying to put himself out there with her and risk everything that came with having a relationship with her, but it also wasn’t fair to punish her for all his fears and insecurities. First chance he got, he was going to apologize for what he’d said that night in the park, tell her he wanted a fresh start with her.

He dried off, dressed, and hurried down the hallway to the locker room where the team had stored all their gear. Reaching into his bag, he pulled out his phone to check for messages. His heart leapt when he saw one from Carmela.

I’d love to go away with you. I’ll make it work somehow.

It felt like a two-thousand pound weight had just been lifted off his chest. He exhaled a deep breath and turned to lean his back against the wall of lockers.

A few lockers down, Schroder shut his and eyed him as he shifted the strap of a backpack up higher on his shoulder. Evers was grabbing his gear beside the medic, Blackwell on his left. “Good news?”

“Yeah.” The best. He smiled to himself and typed back a response, had just hit send when he noticed Evers reach for the back of Schroder’s pack.

“Hey, what’s that?” Evers started to yank the zipper down. Schroder turned away, looking slightly embarrassed, but Evers didn’t let go.

“It’s nothing,” Schroder argued, giving the pack a yank, a slight flush high up on his cheeks.

“No? Then how come you’re trying to hide it and turning all red? Huh?” Evers raised both eyebrows and plucked something from the partially open pouch.

Scowling, Schroder grumbled something under his breath and tried to snatch it back, but Evers only held it farther away.

After examining it for a second, Evers gave Schroder an incredulous look. “A coloring book? Seriously?”

Now Sawyer couldn’t help but look at the book too, and even Blackwell came over for a closer look. Sure enough, right there on the cover it said
Adult Coloring Book
. What the hell was an adult coloring book? “Is that like, porn or something?” Sawyer asked, wondering why the hell Doc was in possession of something like that. Because if it
was
a porn coloring book, that was some messed-up shit.

Schroder gave him a dirty look and crossed his arms. “No.” He stood there glaring at Evers while his teammate flipped through the pages one by one. Pictures of muscle cars mostly, from what Sawyer could see, a few of them colored in. Not a single porn picture in sight. Which was kind of a relief.

Evers looked truly confused as he glanced back at Schroder. “You color?”

“Yeah.” Schroder reached out and snatched it from him, taking time to carefully smooth the pages down before closing the book.

“Since when?”

“Since Taya suggested I try it, okay?”

When Evers looked at him, Sawyer shrugged helplessly. “Try it for what?” Evers pressed.

Schroder let out a long-suffering sigh. “To help with my PTSD issues, all right? What, did you think I’d just resolved all my shit within the space of a few weeks? I’m doing way better, especially with Taya’s help, but when I’m away from her things tend to get worse. When I have nightmares and can’t sleep I pull this out and do my thing. Gives me something to focus on and helps relax me. It’s recommended by therapists all the time to treat different types of trauma, anxiety and depression. Satisfied?”

“Uh, yeah.” Evers eyed him as he hefted a duffel strap over one shoulder, shook his head once. “Just when you think you know a guy...”

“Whatever, you’re just jealous because you know you could never color as good as me,” Schroder told him with a smug smile. “I mean come on, you saw all my shading in there. It’s pretty awesome.”

When his phone buzzed in his hand, Sawyer tuned the others out and read the text message from Carmela.

What I’ve got on underneath.

Before his brain could process what that meant, a picture popped up on the screen. His heart momentarily seized and his eyes widened.

Holy motherfucking
hell
. It was Carmela, but only from the neck down. And she was wearing nothing except extremely hot lingerie and the crucifix necklace.

His gaze glued to the mounds of her breasts, pushed up so enticingly by that black lace with the necklace dangling just above her cleavage, then hungrily trailed down over her stomach to the matching black wisp of lace between her thighs.

Despite himself and the fact that Ethan was standing less than fifteen feet away while he was ogling a half-naked picture of his sister, Sawyer couldn’t completely smother his grin. He didn’t dare answer here in front of the guys so he hit the home button and started to slip the phone back into his pocket.

But when he glanced up, all the others were watching him intently. “What?” he asked.

“I know that look,” Evers said, a grin spreading over his face. “Vance has a hottie on the line.”

He shook his head, fought a stab of panic. “No I don’t.”

Schroder pointed a finger at him, shook it. “He’s doing it. That sorry-ass excuse for a poker face.” He laughed. “Dude, you’re so busted.”

“So who is she?” Blackwell asked.

“No one.” His heart drummed a frantic rhythm against his ribs.

“No one, huh? Well we’ll see about that.” Evers moved lightning quick and lunged for the phone.

Sawyer turned at the last second, blocking Evers with his body but his teammate managed to reach around and wrench the phone from him. He suppressed a growl as his shoulder twinged, sending a white-hot burst of pain down his arm. Goddamn stupid tendons.

Evers hit the power button.

Oh shit, oh, shit
. Sawyer tried to snag it but Evers danced out of range. Full blown panic hit him. Why had he left the text there and why hadn’t he thought to lock his phone fast enough? “Give it back, man.”

“In a minute. I just wanna see—” He stopped and stared at the screen, then laughed. “No one, huh? Then how come she’s sending you boob shots?”

He clamped his jaw shut while Schroder and Blackwell got in on it, talking dirty smack about the picture.

Then Ethan stepped into the room and Sawyer’s heart nearly stopped. Panic ripped through him and he grabbed for the phone, prepared to wrestle it back if need be.

“God dammit, I said give it
back
.” He grabbed Evers’s wrist, clamped down on it and tried to twist the phone free, but his teammate broke his hold with a quick move that sent a flash of pain through his right shoulder.

The room went silent, all four of the guys staring at Sawyer now. Schroder seemed to cover a wince.

“What’s going on?” Ethan asked, walking over.

Evers rubbed his wrist and shot Sawyer a glare. “We were just giving him a hard time about a dirty picture some girl just sent him and he freaked. Jeez, Vance.”

Yeah, for fucking good reason.

Ethan frowned at him, gestured for Evers to give him the phone.

Sawyer shot out a hand for it. “Give it here.”

Ethan snagged it from Evers and held it away from Sawyer, an evil grin on his face. “Chill, man. What’s the problem? She illegal or something—” He glanced down at the screen, and his expression froze.

His smile slowly died away and Sawyer closed his eyes for a second as utter dread swamped him.
No. No no no no...

But it was too late. The damage was already done.

He opened his eyes to find Ethan studying the picture, his face set in lines of disbelief. There was no way he’d miss the crucifix dangling between those beautiful breasts. No way he’d not recognize it, since he’d been there when Sawyer had given it to Carmela last Christmas.

Ethan sucked in a breath, his entire body stiffening as he put it all together. “Wait.” He lifted his gaze to Sawyer, his eyes rounding in outrage. “Is that...my sister?”

The room went utterly, deathly silent.

Ethan’s eyes threw daggers at him and the others stared at him with identical expressions of pained sympathy as they realized what had just happened.

Sawyer pushed out a breath and stifled a groan. This wasn’t how he’d wanted to broach this subject with Ethan. Not even close.

He met his best friend’s livid gaze head on. “Can we talk somewhere private?”

Ethan’s expression was murderous. “Fuck you, private, answer the goddamn question. Is that Carm or not?”

“Yeah, it’s Carm.”

The other guys spun on their heels and made a hasty retreat out of the room, taking the remaining oxygen with them. The door shut behind them with a thud and it was suddenly hard to breathe in the awful silence that followed. Sawyer braced himself for a fist in the jaw, knew he deserved that and more for what he’d done. And there was no way he couldn’t come clean now.

Ethan’s expression was still enraged as he stared at him. “You’re fucking my
sister
?”

“No!” He held up his hands, took a step back as Ethan advanced on him. “No, it’s not like that.” Technically they hadn’t had sex. It had been close though. He’d wanted her for so long and she’d had him so worked up that he’d been a heartbeat away from grabbing her and driving his cock into her. Even now he wasn’t sure how he’d stopped himself.

Ethan stopped, his body coiled, ready to spring. “It’s not like that? Then why the hell is she sexting you?” He held up the phone in accusation, that furious stare burning right through him.

Sawyer thought fast, knowing he needed to do damage control before things escalated. “I care about her, and it’s not a fling. You know I would never do that.”

Ethan dragged a hand through his hair, seemed to struggle with himself a moment. “Dammit to fucking hell, Sawyer... What the hell were you two
thinking
?”

Ethan was too pissed to listen to reason now. He wouldn’t hear anything Sawyer said until he calmed down. Still, he had to try. “I’m not using her, E. I swear. And you gotta promise me, man.” He swallowed, fighting down the fear that threatened to choke him. “You gotta swear to me that this won’t change things between us.”

Ethan scowled at him. “What the hell’s that supposed to mean? You hooked up with my sister, dumbass, of course it changes things between us.”

Cold spread through his gut. He prayed Ethan didn’t mean that the way it sounded. His pulse thudded a dull rhythm in his ears as he awaited a response.
Don’t. Don’t cut me out of your life because of this.

Before he could say anything else the door opened and Evers stuck his head in, dividing a look between the two of them. “Sorry, guys, but DeLuca needs us. Briefing with him and Rycroft right now.”

Ethan sent him one last scathing look before spinning around and heading for the door. Sawyer followed, worry gnawing a hole in his stomach. The three of them hurried down the hall to the briefing room, none of them saying a word.

“Hurt her and I’ll fucking kill you,” Ethan muttered to him right before they stepped through the door, still glaring at him.

Sawyer inclined his head. “I hear you.” Shit, he hated that it had gone down like that. Maybe they could talk again later on once Ethan had calmed down and had time to get used to the idea of him and Carm together. Because Sawyer definitely wanted a relationship with her. He hoped Ethan would listen long enough to hear that, anyway.