Selby Snowbound (10 page)

‘It’s a pity that you’re only in my imagination. The real Selby is back at the plane with the Trifles. He can’t talk, of course.’

‘Of course not,’ Selby agreed.

‘But don’t be offended,’ Crampy said. ‘You’re still good company.’

‘Thanks, so are you.’

‘You do know that if this storm keeps up we’ll freeze to death?’

‘I know,’ Selby sighed. ‘Then it really will be our ultimate adventure.’

Crampy thought for a moment and then burst into laughter.

‘And you’ve got a great sense of humour, too. I like that in a dog.’

The hours rolled by until the sun set but the storm raged on. Selby got colder and colder until he could hardly think. Then, sometime in the early morning he had a terrible thought.

‘What if we freeze to death (
sniff)
and they come looking for our frozen bodies and they can’t even find us under the snow?’ he thought. ‘I’ve got to put a marker out.’

The only thing Selby could find to write on was Crampy’s flag. So underneath the words ‘Mount Crampon'’, Selby scribbled:

He struggled out of the igloo and planted the flag in the snow. He then went back inside,
sealed up the doorway again, and waited for the cold to put an end to his short life.

But no sooner had he done this than there was a sudden break in the weather. Selby pushed his way outside again and looked around.

‘Goodness me!’ he exclaimed. ‘I made the igloo at the worst possible place — we’re right on the top of the mountain! And, look! I can see the plane way down there on the glacier. Quick, Crampy! Wake up! We’re getting out of here — now!’

Selby dragged the unconscious mountaineer out of the igloo and started pulling him on the snow down the slope. The slope got steeper and steeper and, suddenly, Selby and Crampy were sliding out of control down the mountain.

‘Oh, no!’ Selby screamed. ‘All this work to save ourselves and now we’re going to be killed!’

Over and over the two bounced and slid their way down the slope until they came to a stop at the aeroplane.

‘I’ve got to get into the plane and w-w-w-warm up. I’m f-f-f-f-freezing!’ Selby thought as he opened the door and crawled into the back behind the sleeping Trifles. He awoke a short time later to the sound of voices.

‘Poor Selby,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘He was such a good dog.’

‘Yes,’ sniffed Dr Trifle. ‘And now he’s lost forever up there on that stupid mountain. I only wish we’d known he could talk. We could have given him a much better life.’

‘Yes, by making him work,’ Mrs Trifle said.

‘He could have done the cleaning,’ Dr Trifle said, ‘and the laundry and the ironing and the cooking and washing up. He could have washed the windows and made all the beds every day.’

‘Yes, we could have given him a
purpose.
He could have felt really
useful.
He could have been our dogsbody.
Instead he was probably lying around feeling guilty all the time for not helping out.’

‘Guilty, schmilty,’ thought Selby. ‘I save their lives and now all they can think about is ruining mine!’

Suddenly the plane door opened and Crampy was standing there.

‘Crampy!’ Mrs Trifle exclaimed. ‘Where did you come from?’

‘I — I don’t know. I think I fell off the mountain. I don’t remember much. Would you believe that I actually thought that Selby came up to rescue me and he talked to me?’ Crampy laughed.

‘It’s true!’ Dr Trifle exclaimed. ‘He talked to us too.’

Crampy let out a long laugh.

‘You mean you
think
he did,’ Crampy said. ‘I’m afraid that you had mountain madness, too.’

‘You mean he didn’t talk to us?’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘But it seemed so real.’

‘It always does,’ said Crampy. ‘See, there he is sleeping in the back of the plane.’

‘Why so he is. He must have been here all along,’ Dr Trifle said.

‘By the way, did you measure the mountain?’

‘Yes, I’m sorry but it’s slightly shorter than Mount Everest.’

‘Would you do me a favour?’ Crampy said.
‘Could you measure it again. You might have just
thought
you measured it.’

Dr Trifle made some more measurements and then did his calculations again.

‘Well I’ll be,’ he said. ‘It really
is
higher than Everest. And I can just barely make out your flag up there. That’s funny, I didn’t notice that roundy bit on top of the peak before. I thought it was more pointy than roundy.’

‘I guess my igloo is now part of the mountain,’ Selby thought, ‘which is just tall enough to make the mountain the highest one in the world.’

‘Okay, let’s get out of here before another storm hits,’ Crampy said, jumping into the plane and starting the engine. ‘I don’t know about you but even Bogusville seems a nice place to me right now.’

‘Not just a nice place,’ Selby thought. ‘But the nicest place in the whole world.’

But that’s not the end of the story. When Selby and Crampy and the Trifles got back, their story was flashed around the world on TV, radio and in the newspapers. Of course Selby lived in fear that
someone would climb the mountain again and find his note on Crampy’s flag and then the world would know that Selby’s talking wasn’t mountain madness after all. And soon some climbers did get to the top and the name of the mountain was entered into the
Official Mountain Registry
— but not as Mount Crampon.

The expedition found the flag right where Selby had put it: on top of the igloo, on the top of the mountain. But the wind had ripped it so badly that most of Selby’s writing was gone. There were only two strips of cloth left. They said:

‘Isn’t that a scream?’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Crampy must have changed the flag and named it after Selby when he had mountain madness.’

‘I can’t believe it!’ Selby thought. ‘Of course I am the one who made it the highest mountain in the world so I guess I deserve having it named after me. But I wish I’d written Mount Trifle on that flag. They’re the ones who really deserve it. Oh well, I guess I can live with it.’

I found a little wooden boat
But then I found it wouldn’t float.
I said,
‘Toy boat toy boat toy boat
Why won’t you float
toy boat toy boat?’

‘Hang on!’ I thought, ‘You silly goat!
This needs some water first to float!’
Faster
Toy boat toy boat
toy boat toy boat Toy boat toy boat toy boat.

I jumped into my overcoat
And dived into a castle moat.
I hoped and prayed my boat would float.
‘My boat!’ I cried. ‘Please float please float.’
Even faster
Toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat
Toy boat toy boat toy boat.

Which it did. Perfectly. No worries.

So if you want your boat to float
Just quickly quote this rhyme by rote:
Very very fast
Toy boat toy boat toy boat
Toy boat toy boat toy boat Toy boat
toy boat toy boat toy boat
Toy boat toy boat toy boat!