As friend Scamp shall be pleased to step down from the moon | |
135 | (Where he seems to be soaring in search of his wits), |
And an interval grants from his lecturing fits, | |
I’m engaged to the Lady Bluebottle’s collation, | |
To partake of a luncheon and learn’d conversation: | |
’Tis a sort of re-union for Scamp, on the days | |
140 | Of his lecture, to treat him with cold tongue and praise. |
And I own, for my own part, that ’tis not unpleasant. | |
Will you go? There’s Miss Lilac will also be present. | |
TRACY | |
INKEL | |
TRACY | |
145 | But let us proceed; for I think, by the hum — |
INKEL | |
Or else we’ll be kept here an hour at their levy, | |
On the rack of cross questions, by all the blue bevy. | |
Hark! Zounds, they’ll be on us; I know by the drone | |
150 | Of old Botherby’s spouting ex-cathedrâ tone. |
Ay! there he is at it. Poor Scamp! better join | |
Your friends, or he’ll pay you back in your own coin. | |
TRACY | |
INKEL | |
But for God’s sake let’s go, or the Bore will be here. | |
155 | Come, come: nay, I’m off. |
[ | |
TRACY | |
’Tis high time for a ‘ | |
And yet we shall have the whole crew on our kibes, | |
Blues, dandies, and dowagers, and second-hand scribes, | |
All flocking to moisten their exquisite throttles | |
160 | With a glass of Madeira at Lady Bluebottle’s. |
[ | |
Eclogue Second | |
An Apartment in the House of | |
[ | |
Was there ever a man who was married so sorry? | |
Like a fool, I must needs do the thing in a hurry. | |
My life is reversed, and my quiet destroy’d; | |
My days, which once pass’d in so gentle a void, | |
5 | Must now, every hour of the twelve, be employ’d: |
The twelve, do I say? – of the whole twenty-four, | |
Is there one which I dare call my own any more? | |
What with driving and visiting, dancing and dining, | |
What with learning, and teaching, and scribbling, and shining, | |
10 | In science and art, I’ll be cursed if I know |
Myself from my wife; for although we are two, | |
Yet she somehow contrives that all things shall be done | |
In a style which proclaims us eternally one. | |
But the thing of all things which distresses me more | |
15 | Than the bills of the week (though they trouble me sore) |
Is the numerous, humorous, backbiting crew | |
Of scribblers, wits, lecturers, white, black, and blue, | |
Who are brought to my house as an inn, to my cost | |
– For the bill here, it seems, is defray’d by the host - | |
20 | No pleasure! no leisure! no thought for my pains, |
But to hear a vile jargon which addles my brains; | |
A smatter and chatter, glean’d out of reviews, | |
By the rag, tag, and bobtail, of those they call ‘BLUES;’ | |
A rabble who know not—But soft, here they come! | |
25 | Would to God I were deaf! as I’m not, I’ll be dumb. |
[ | |
LADY BLUEBOTTLE | |
SIR RICHARD | |
LADY BLUEBOTTLE | |
I pray ye be seated, ‘ | |
Mr Scamp, you’re fatigued; take your chair there, next me. | |
[ | |
30 | SIR RICHARD |
LADY BLUEBOTTLE:Mr Tracy – | |
Lady Bluemount – Miss Lilac – be pleased, pray, to place ye; | |
And you, Mr Botherby — | |
BOTHERBY | |
LADY BLUEBOTTLE | |
INKEL | |
35 | But the heat forced me out in the best part – alas! |
And when — | |
LADY BLUEBOTTLE | |
BOTHERBY | |
TRACY | |
BOTHERBY | |
I defy him to beat this day’s wondrous applause. | |
40 | The very walls shook. |
INKEL | |
I allow our friend Scamp has this day done his best. | |
Miss Lilac, permit me to help you; – a wing? | |
MISS LILAC | |
BOTHERBY | |
INKEL:That is, if he lives. | |
MISS LILAC | |
45 | INKEL |
Lady Bluemount! a glass of Madeira? | |
LADY BLUEMOUNT | |
INKEL | |
Does he stick to his lakes, like the leeches he sings, | |
And their gatherers, as Homer sung warriors and kings? | |
50 | LADY BLUEBOTTLE |
INKEL | |
LADY BLUEMOUNT | |
Nor profane with your sneers so poetic a name. | |
INKEL | |
For the poet of pedlers ’twere, sure, no disaster | |
To wear a new livery; the more as ’tis not | |
55 | The first time he has turn’d both his creed and his coat. |
LADY BLUEMOUNT | |
LADY BLUEBOTTLE | |
’Tis his way. | |
SIR RICHARD | |
INKEL | |
LADY BLUEBOTTLE | |
60 | He is made a collector. |
TRACY | |
SIR RICHARD | |
MISS LILAC: | |
INKEL | |
LADY BLUEMOUNT | |
INKEL | |
LADY BLUEBOTTLE | |
MISS LILAC | |
LADY BLUEMOUNT: | |
BOTHERBY: | |
65 | LADY BLUEMOUNT |
LADY BLUEBOTTLE | |
LADY BLUEMOUNT | |
LADY BLUEBOTTLE | |
LADY BLUEMOUNT | |
INKEL | |
That whatever he means won’t alloy what he says. | |
BOTHERBY | |
INKEL | |
70 | ’Twas in your defence. |
BOTHERBY | |
I can make out my own. | |
INKEL | |
While you live, my dear Botherby, never defend | |
Yourself or your works; but leave both to a friend. | |
A propos – Is your play then accepted at last? | |
75 | BOTHERBY |
INKEL | |
BOTHERBY | |
INKEL |