Semper Fi (14 page)

“Yeah. Real nice,” Sully answered.

“You shouldn’t ask nice girls to do things like that,” Jim said. “It’s disrespectful.”

Joe, a big blond from Georgia, barked out a laugh. “Aw, come on. You sayin’ your woman never gets on her knees?”

Jim inhaled sharply. “Don’t talk about my wife.”

As Joe continued laughing, tipping back his umpteenth beer, Sully asked, “Hey Cal, who was the first gal to do it for you?”

Cal opened a new bottle and settled himself again, leaning against the wall and stretching his legs out on the thin mattress. “Hmm, let’s see. If you want to know the truth, it was pretty scandalous.” Of course the actual truth was something considerably more shocking. Not to mention illegal.

Pete clapped his hands. “Hell yes! Let’s hear it.”

“She was the wife of one of my father’s business partners. Eva Thorngood. We were all out in Connecticut for a weekend retreat at someone’s estate.”

“Well
la di da
,” Joe drawled.

Cal ignored him. “I was snooping around upstairs in the library after dinner when she came in. Locked the door behind her, so that got my attention.”

Sully listened, utterly rapt with wide eyes. “How old was she? How old were you?”

“She was about thirty-five. I’d just turned sixteen.”

“Hot damn. Don’t leave us hangin’!” Pete exclaimed.

“She made a little small talk about some book or other, leaning in real close so she could pull it off the shelf. It was like the air around us was electric, and my skin was on fire. I could have come right there in my pants at just the thought of her touching me.”

Aside from the fact that it was
Michael
Thorngood who’d cornered him in the library that night, the rest was true. Cal went on. “She pressed me up against the bookcase and asked if she could do something for me. I nodded so hard I banged my head. Had a bump the next day, but it was worth it. Then she was kissing me and…”

He trailed off, lost for a moment in the memory of Michael against him, the feel of his rough stubble, his thrusting tongue, and his powerful hand gripping Cal through his dress trousers.

“And?” Sully swallowed hard. “Then what?”

“The next thing I knew my pants were undone and she was on her knees. Fuck, it was good. Her mouth was so wet and hot.” Cal was acutely aware of Jim’s gaze on him, and forced himself to avoid it. It wouldn’t do to start thinking of Jim right now.

“Lawd, I’m getting hard just hearin’ about it.” Joe whistled to Sully. “Come over here, boy, and do me a favor.”

“In your dreams!” Sully called back, his face beet red. “Then what happened, Cal?”

“I think I was done in about twenty seconds. She swallowed every drop.”

Pete grinned and took a drag from his cigarette. “Real nice. You ever do her again?”

“Oh yeah. We did a whole lot the rest of the weekend. A few more weekends over the years too. She was good to me, that’s for sure.”

“Wow.” Sully finished his beer. “Pete, how about you?”

Cal grabbed his jacket. “I’ll head over to the slop chute and get some more beer. It’s my turn.” He needed some air.

“I’ll come with you.” Jim reached for his boots.

“Don’t worry—I’ve got it. Back in a jiff!” Cal escaped before Jim could respond.

The camp was quiet aside from gales of deep laughter echoing from other huts as the squads unwound. The forest spread out to his left, and Cal impulsively ducked into the trees, twigs snapping beneath his boots as he wandered into the darkness. He made his way in the wan sliver of moonlight, hands jammed in his pockets as he tried to relax.

Memories of Michael flitted around his mind. Michael had been a generous and enthusiastic teacher, and Cal looked back on their stolen moments fondly. It so happened that Eva Thorngood was a kindly woman, and Cal still felt a twinge of guilt for the things he’d done with her husband. But he hadn’t been able to resist.

He was foolish for thinking on it at all when he was so pent up. He hadn’t even had the privacy to jerk off since getting to boot camp, and the quick, furtive hand job with the local in the shadows outside the dive bar had done little to ease Cal’s tension. But as he walked deeper into the forest, he realized he was truly alone. His body hummed and his dick twitched at the notion of release. As he reached for his zipper, footsteps crunched nearby.

Squinting into the murk, Cal held his breath. He hadn’t done anything wrong yet, but felt like his hand was in the proverbial cookie jar. He was about to call out when another Marine stepped from behind a tree. He was short and about Cal’s age, with light hair and a slim build. Their eyes locked, and excitement jolted through Cal like spurs to a horse’s flank.

He knew that look.

The man drew nearer, glancing around. Cal licked his lips and closed the gap, and after another look of understanding, they gripped each other without a word, mouths opening as they kissed hungrily. Cal didn’t waste any time in yanking open the man’s pants and thrusting his hand inside. The hot, hard flesh pulsed in his grasp, the man grunting as Cal worked him.

They stumbled up against a tree, breath harsh in the still of the forest. It didn’t take long for the Marine to come over Cal’s hand, and Cal licked his fingers, his dick aching. The man sank to his knees and freed Cal’s cock from his uniform before swallowing it almost to the base. Cal bit his lip to stop from crying out as the pleasure ricocheted through his body.

The Marine sucked him expertly, his tongue and hands working in tandem. Leaning back against the rough bark of the tree, Cal threaded his fingers through the man’s fair hair, and in the darkness, he could almost imagine it was Jim at his feet—Jim’s hot mouth tight around him.

A voice in his head shouted to stop that train of thought, but the images tumbled out of control and he gave in, letting himself pretend it was his friend sucking his cock. Balls tightening, Cal’s knees trembled as he catapulted over the edge, Jim’s face in his mind and Jim’s name on his silent lips as he gasped for breath.

The man got to his feet, and they straightened themselves. With a nod, they went their separate ways, and Cal hurried to the slop chute to get the beer before it closed.

As he peered out the window, worry gnawed Cal’s gut. He glanced at his watch again.

“Where’s Daddy?” Sophie stood in the sitting room doorway.

“Oh, he went out to check on the younger trees at the rear of the orchard. He’ll be back any minute.” Cal smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring fashion.

She stared back, solemn. “Then why are you so worried?”

“Worried?” Cal forced a laugh and patted Sophie’s head as he made his way back to the kitchen. “I’m not worried.”

“You look worried.”

“Everything’s fine.” Cal glanced down at where Adam was making an unholy mess with his crayons, straying from his pad and dragging the colored wax onto the linoleum. “Hey, hey. Not on the floor, all right?”

Adam laughed in response. “I draw on the floor!”

“Yes, you do. But we don’t want that. Not on the floor. On the paper.” Cal grabbed a sponge and knelt to scrub off the marks.

“He’s always back by now. Always.” Sophie’s face was ashen. “What if there was an accident?”

Cal hated to see her so anxious. He pulled out a chair and sat down, beckoning her over so they were on the same level. Taking her hands, he squeezed gently. “Your dad’s okay. If he’s not back soon I’ll go get him.”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely.” The lid on the pot of green beans on the stove rattled as it boiled over. “I’ll just finish getting dinner ready, okay?”

“Have you ever cooked before?”

“Sure. Plenty of times.” He managed to drain the beans without scalding himself, which he considered a major victory. “See? I’m cooking.” The fact that Mrs. O’Brien had prepared everything and he’d only had to turn on the burner and oven was beside the point.

A tiny smile played on Sophie’s lips. “You better check the meatloaf.”

“Can you clean up the crayon for me while I do?”

Sophie nodded and did as he asked while Cal opened the oven and peered inside at the nicely browning loaf.
What if something did happen to him? What if he fell and hit his head, or—

The back door opened with a long creak, and Jim stomped his muddy boots on the mat.

“Daddy!” Sophie rocketed up into Jim’s arms, clinging to him. Adam followed suit, yammering excitedly.

Cal regarded Jim evenly. “I told her how you had to go check to make sure the young trees weren’t affected by the frost. Took a bit longer than you thought, huh?”

Jim pressed a kiss to Sophie’s head. “It did. Sorry I’m late, sweetheart.” He didn’t meet Cal’s eyes.

In fact, he didn’t meet Cal’s eyes all through dinner. Cal felt invisible as Jim laughed with Sophie and Adam and tried to act like everything was normal. Cal had let him run off the second time, not wanting to push, and now his best friend couldn’t even
look
at him.

After dinner, Jim took the children up to bed. Cal stood at the sink washing the dishes, acid burning his stomach despite the meal he’d just choked down. His mind spun, trying to make sense of it all. He still couldn’t quite believe it had happened.

When he’d felt Jim’s lips against his, Cal had thought he was dreaming. But no, Jim had really kissed him. And when Cal chased him down, Jim had kissed him back, and he’d been unmistakably hard. They’d both wanted each other until Jim tore himself away.

He’s been celibate for months on end. Any man would be desperate.

Had Cal taken advantage of that? Guilt gnawed at him. Perhaps he’d misconstrued an innocent display of affection. Yes, Jim had kissed him back, but he’d been through so much. He wasn’t himself.

Cal had been light-headed with joy as Jim’s tongue met his—as Jim had returned his kisses the way Cal always dreamed he would. But he should have known better. Jim wasn’t queer. He was lonely.

The dishes were drying in the rack, and Jim still hadn’t returned. Cal paced across the linoleum. They needed to clear the air, and he couldn’t do that if Jim avoided him. But he’d never known Jim to be a coward, so Cal went outside and waited by the paddock, taking long drags from a cigarette.

He was on his third when Jim finally appeared. Cal ground the cigarette out with his boot. Jim stopped a few feet away, his gaze focused somewhere in the distance, and Cal cleared his throat. “Sophie was really worried when you didn’t come back on time.”

“I know. I’m sorry. Thanks for taking care of them.”

He shrugged. “Of course.” For the first time since the night they’d met on that train to South Carolina, Cal didn’t know what to say to Jim. He took a deep breath and broke the uncomfortable silence. “I know you didn’t want…what happened.”

Jim’s brow furrowed, his gaze still on the muddy grass. “It was my fault. I don’t know what I was thinking. I
wasn’t
thinking. You didn’t want that either. We’re just…bottled up.”

“True enough.” Cal had been bottling up his desire for Jim for years.

“We both made a mistake. It was wrong. That kind of thing is…”

Stomach churning again, Cal finished for him. “Unnatural? Sinful? Disgusting?”

“Yes.” Jim nodded jerkily. “Exactly.”

Cal forced the words from his dry throat. “Not to me.”

“What?” Jim blinked, finally meeting Cal’s gaze. “Of course it is.”

“No. It’s not. It’s completely natural to me. It always has been.” Cal shrugged. “Always will be.”

“I…I don’t understand.”

“I’m queer, Jim.”

“Of course you’re not. That’s ridiculous.” Jim tried to smile, failing miserably. “Is this a joke?”

“No.”

“Cal…”

Cal flicked his lighter open and shut, punctuating his terse words. “I’m a homo. A faggot, a queer, a poof, a cocksucker. I should have told you a long time ago, but…”

Silence settled over them again. Cal lit another cigarette, his fingers shaking. Jim simply stared at him, lips parted as he appeared to try to think of a response. He started to say something, but then shook his head.

Finally he said, “But you’ve been with so many women. You would tell us about them. Eva Thorngood when you were sixteen.”

Cal had to laugh. “I can’t believe you remember her name.”

Jim barreled on. “And there was that girl in Melbourne. What was her name? Amanda? You ran off every day with her for a couple of months.”

“
His
name was Adrian. And it was Michael Thorngood in the library. Eva’s husband. The rest of it was true.”

“Lord. That was…a man did those things? But you were still a boy. He took advantage of you. Mixed you up—”

“No, Jim. He didn’t. He didn’t do anything I didn’t want. He didn’t make me this way. If anyone did, it was your God.”

“No. You’re confused.”

Cal inhaled smoke and held it in his lungs until they burned. He blew it out slowly. “I’ve never felt that way about women. It just isn’t in me.”

Jim took this in. “Have you ever been with a woman?”

“Kissed a few girls in junior high.”

“But you’ve never…” He made a vague motion with his hand.