Authors: Tina Donahue
“You’re not inviting Zach?”
“I tried. He said he had stuff to do tonight.”
With her. Yet only for a little while longer. The end of her
stay was approaching quickly, the days speeding by. Toni pressed the tip of her
pen so hard against the work order the paper tore. Pulling the instrument away,
she told herself she was a fool for hanging on to something that couldn’t be.
There was no choice except to move on.
“Sure, I’ll go,” she said. Better to spend the time with
Angel and Robbie than alone with Zach, wanting him more with each passing
second. Desiring him endlessly, hopelessly.
Zach punched in the third digit of the investigator’s phone
number. At just that moment, Toni came inside his office.
Hanging up, he met her gaze.
Quickly, she averted hers and closed the door, then went to
his desk. With her attention on the stack of paid invoices next to his
computer, she spoke in a low voice. “The guys invited me out tonight. I’ll be
leaving here with them.” Rapping the accounts twice with her knuckles, she
turned to leave.
“Wait a sec,” Zach said.
A moment passed before she faced him, her expression masked,
her thoughts unknown.
Zach stopped himself from frowning and kept his voice as
neutral as hers. “You’re going to Angel’s birthday party?”
“It’s not really a party, just him, Robbie and me. Don’t
worry,” she said, taking a step toward his desk, while remaining out of his
reach. So unlike this morning when she’d crawled all over him in bed and the
shower. “I wasn’t planning on having them take me back to your place. They
don’t know what went on between us, nor will they. I’ll have them drop me off
here. I’ll spend the night on your couch.” She swung her hand in its direction.
“I’ll claim I have a headache and my noisy neighbors will only make it worse.”
Finished, she backed away.
“Hold it,” Zach said, her words replaying in his mind.
What
went on between us
. Not what
was
going on. She’d used past, not
present tense. “You’re not staying in here,” he said.
At his sharp tone, her brows edged together.
Zach didn’t care. If she wanted a fight, he’d give her one.
“I’m working late,” he said. “When they drop you off here, I’ll take you back
home.”
“Your home,” she said.
Where the fuck else? “I’ll be here waiting for you.”
“I may be very late.”
Jaw clenched, he looked back at his computer screen, not
really seeing it. “No matter when you come back, I will be here. We’ll be going
back to my place.”
Without further argument, she left.
Zach frowned at the blinds clacking against the window, the
thought of Toni spending the night with anyone else, the way she kept pulling
away from him. No matter what she thought, they weren’t through with each
other. They still had some time and he intended to enjoy it.
No matter what it took, he was going to know about her and,
if necessary, help her before she left Indulgence.
Ignoring his sinking heart, he grabbed the phone’s receiver,
punched in the investigator’s number and interrupted the receptionist’s
“how-can-I-help-you” spiel.
“Zach Brody,” he said, “I need to talk to Ms. Anunciata
now.”
Within a minute, she came on the line. “I just sent you an
email, Mr. Brody.”
His pulse quickened at the satisfaction he heard in her
voice. “You found something out?”
“It’s in the email.”
“Hold on,” he said, “let me get into it.” He logged onto his
Yahoo! account and stared at the name in the subject line of her email. His
mouth went so dry, Zach wasn’t certain he could speak.
“It’s there, correct?” she asked.
He ran his tongue around his mouth, then spoke cautiously.
“Yeah.”
In his mind, Zach repeated the last name in the subject
line, Toni’s surname, so different than Starr. His eyes got moist, even as he
smiled. The name fit her…if it was hers. “You’re sure about this?” He dropped
the volume of his voice another notch. “That it’s her, I mean.”
“Everything matches.”
Zach swallowed. He frowned quickly. “You didn’t ask Lucky or
Belle or any of their friends about—”
She interrupted, “You asked me not to and I honored your
request. We researched her records at the DMV—the department of motor vehicles.
She got her first license as Toni Starr when she was sixteen. We figured she
must have been with Belle and Lucky for at least a little while before she
began to use their last name. We checked old newspaper stories about them to
see where they were performing prior to her getting the license. We were able
to trace them back to a number of places, including Seattle.”
Zach’s gaze moved to his door leading into the bays. He
thought about Toni’s pale skin, so unusual in southern Arizona or the part of
Texas where she’d gotten her last license. Not so in rainy Seattle where being
deeply tan would have been an anomaly.
The investigator continued, “Using her date of birth and
first name, we were able to locate the records for her permit when she was
fifteen. We cross-checked what we found there with the names of CPAs in the
area at that time. You did say her dad had been a CPA.” Not waiting for his
answer, she said, “We found a match. Her father died of a heart attack when she
was fourteen.”
Fingers rubbing his temple, Zach asked, “What about her
mother? Where was she when Toni left home?”
“It’s all in the report.”
A few minutes ago, Zach couldn’t have been more eager to
know everything about her. Now reluctance pulled him back, along with fear that
he’d discover something he wouldn’t be able to fix, a hurt so deep he wouldn’t
be able to comfort her.
“Is her mother still alive?” he asked.
“She is.” The investigator paused, adding finally, “So is
Joe Bauchmann.”
Chapter Thirteen
Angel’s thick fingers tapped the second of six photographs
near Toni’s plate. Leaning close, he pitched his voice so she could hear him
above the pizza parlor’s jukebox and rowdy teens. “In this one,” he said, his
tone holding a mixture of wonder and pride, “Ernesto’s watching his first
football game with me.”
Toni smiled at the four-month-old baby propped against
Angel’s burly torso in a living room stuffed with mismatched furniture. The
child had a surprisingly thick mop of dark hair and wore a jumpsuit with the
insignia of Angel’s favorite team.
“He’s beautiful,” she murmured.
Angel beamed.
Robbie downed his Bud and burped. “Ain’t no way I’m ever
getting a girl pregnant and letting her take my kid, then have her screw me for
child support when I can’t even live with him.”
“Sometimes things happen,” Angel said gently, “stuff you
can’t predict.”
Robbie snorted. “That’s why they invented condoms.”
“Even if you use them, they don’t always work,” Toni
explained, hoping to get Robbie to back off. Before he could think of another
verbal jab, she picked up Ernesto’s picture taken at Easter. The stuffed blue
bunny plopped next to the boy was three times his size and capturing his
attention completely. “How old is he here?”
Talking around the pizza in his mouth, Angel told her—to the
day and hour—adding, “He’s big for his age. Doc says he’s one of the biggest
boys he’s ever seen.”
“Takes after his daddy.” She smiled. “So, you hoping he
follows in your footsteps?”
He wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand and reached
for his beer. “You mean being big like me? Sure.”
Toni warned herself not to laugh. Angel was such a sweet,
unassuming guy, she’d kick herself before hurting his feelings or making him
feel foolish. “What I meant is—do you want him to become a mechanic like you?”
“Oh hell no.” He leaned back in his chair, resting his beer
bottle on his meaty thigh. “My kid’s going to college, the very best, not one
of the crappy community kinds around here. He’s gonna be a lawyer or a doctor.
Something real good. I’m already saving for it. Each payday, the bank takes out
money from my check and puts it into a college fund for Ernesto. By the time
he’s eighteen he’ll be able to go to any school he wants.” He grinned. “Zach
helped me set it up. Showed me what to do.”
Robbie rolled his eyes and helped himself to the last slice
of pizza. “Zach keeps trying to talk me into getting a savings account. No
fucking way. I’m still young. When I’m too old to do stuff I like, I’ll think
about it.”
“It’ll be too damn late then,” Angel countered, then turned
back to Toni. “Once you’ve been at the garage for a while and get certified
like Robbie and me, you’ll be making more dough and you can talk to Zach about
having your money work for you—that’s what he always says. I’m telling you, he
knows that shit like nobody else. He’ll set you on the right course so you
won’t have to work into your eighties, like Robbie’s gonna be doing.”
Offering a brief sneer, he swallowed his bite of pizza,
finishing with a burp. “Least I’ll have good memories.”
“And that’s all you’ll have,” Angel warned, his gaze darting
back to Toni. “I’m telling you, ask Zach for help after you get bumped up in
pay. You’re real good at repairs. Shouldn’t take more than three months, at
most, for you to get ready to be certified. I’ll help you prepare if you want.”
Toni forced a smile for Angel’s benefit. In three months,
she’d not only be back on the circuit, but would have already been through
Texas, Nebraska, Missouri, Ohio, heading toward the East Coast. There, she’d
perform at more county fairs, sports events and celebrations, surrounded by
strangers, spending her nights alone, trying not to remember Zach.
Her soul ached for him now, her heart missing him terribly
even though they’d been apart no more than a few hours. If she hurt like this
while still here, how in the hell was she going to live through the next weeks,
months and years without him?
Rubbing his belly, Robbie added, “I’ll help too.”
Toni looked at him, even as she recalled Zach’s face the
moment their eyes first met. The instant connection he hadn’t wanted and only
succumbed to because she’d goaded him into it, asking if he didn’t know how to
satisfy a woman.
He’d done that and so much more for her. He’d returned
Toni’s dignity and a bit of hope during their time together.
Not that it could last. She fought tears, again telling
herself she had to prepare for an inevitable departure, to accept it as she had
so many other events in her life.
Running his hand down his face, Zach kept rereading
Anunciata’s report and regarding the accompanying photos…some from old
newspapers, reporting on the Starrs and Toni’s motorcycle performances. Others
from school events Toni had participated in over the years.
He swallowed at the shot of her in a blue-and-white
cheerleading costume for the middle school she’d attended. Probably thirteen at
the time, she hadn’t yet developed her lush curves or adopted her shaggy
hairstyle. With her black hair in a ponytail, she smiled for the camera, her
youthful features sparkling with invincibility and joy. The kind only kids
have, before something awful happens to shake their confidence in the sanity of
the world.
His throat tightened with sorrow. He compared the
cheerleading photo to the first one taken with her and the Starrs. Toni’s eyes
weren’t the same in the second shot. In them, he saw sadness and uncertainty
that didn’t jibe with her smile.
Belle and Lucky had taken her in, loved her, and for their
kindness Zach would always be grateful, understanding finally what good people
they were. Even so, they couldn’t replace her parents. No one could.
For the fourth time, he read Anunciata’s information on
Toni’s mother. There was no police record of the woman having reported her
child as a runaway or a possible victim of abduction.
We have concluded that she made no effort to locate her
daughter,
the file said.
Disbelief and outrage gripped Zach in equal measure. He
squeezed his fists so hard, his fingers hurt. How in the fuck could any mother
turn her back on her own flesh and blood? A fifteen-year-old kid who deserved a
home, a parent—to have someone take care of her, to be loved?
What excuse could the woman have possibly used to allow
herself to sleep at night? Unlike her daughter’s daily struggles these past
twelve years, Toni’s mother continued to lead an incredibly affluent life. One
Toni had grown up in, attending the best private schools, coming home each day
to a beautiful house in an upscale area of Seattle.
An upper middle-class existence that should have continued
after her father’s untimely death.
Close to four million dollars had come into her mother’s
hands from a combination of life insurance, the proceeds from the sale of the
CPA firm and the value of the house. It wasn’t as though she couldn’t afford
Toni.
Her daughter simply hadn’t mattered to her anymore when she
began her new life, remarrying within eighteen months of her husband’s passing
to a man named Joe Bauchmann.
Anger mounting, Zach scrolled down the screen, reading the
information Anunciata had on him. After serving for years as a police officer
in one of Seattle’s bedroom communities, he’d next gone on to run for and win a
seat in county government. According to an unflattering commentary in one of
the local newspapers, he’d stolen the election because he’d used his wife’s
money to far outspend the other candidate.
Toni had been seventeen at the time. With no close relatives
on either her mother or father’s side, she’d adopted the Starrs, becoming to
Belle and Lucky what she thought they expected her to be. No doubt frightened
that if she disappointed them in the least, she’d be alone again.
Zach fought emotion so deep it tightened his chest muscles,
refusing him all except the scantest breath. Scrolling farther, he stopped on
the last news article Anunciata had on Joe Bauchmann. It told Zach far more
than he’d expected to find out and provided the last piece of the puzzle as to
what had brought Toni to this point in time.