Sentence of Marriage (33 page)

Amy woke feeling like a wrung-out rag. It took an effort of will to get out of bed rather than roll over and go back to sleep. She stood in the middle of the room in her nightdress, trying to summon the energy to get dressed and start the day. Then she remembered that she wanted her father to be in the best possible mood when Jimmy asked for her hand; that gave her the impetus to hurry. She wanted to have plenty of time to prepare breakfast before her father came in from milking.

When she picked up her silk dress, she saw to her dismay it was badly creased. It even had some grass stains around the hem, where the dress had not been protected by her cloak. Her drawers had a small patch of blood on them, and Amy recalled that sharp pain. She anxiously checked her dress; there was no sign of blood, though one of her petticoats had a few spots.

She shook the dress out, but it was obviously going to need washing. That would mean explaining to Susannah how she had got the dress in such a state; she did not look forward to that conversation. There was no time to worry about it now, however. She hung it in the wardrobe, shoved her soiled underwear in a drawer and hurriedly dressed.

As she brushed her hair, Amy was surprised that the sleepy face staring back at her from the mirror looked the same as ever. She felt so different within herself that she had thought it might show on the outside, too. Her eyes fell on the photograph of her mother. She picked it up and looked at the woman who was almost a stranger.
Did you feel like I do, Mama? Did you love Pa like I love Jimmy? I think you must have, you look so happy. I think he still misses you
, she realised for the first time, and she felt a pang for her father.

When she had splashed cold water on her face Amy felt more alert, and she hurried out to start preparing the meal. She was already in the kitchen before she remembered that her brooch was still on yesterday’s chemise, tucked into a drawer; she considered going back to put it on before deciding she did not have time.

Breakfast was almost ready by the time Jimmy appeared. She abandoned her frying pans to rush to his arms.

‘How’s my little wife this morning?’ Jimmy said, nuzzling her hair as he spoke.

‘Tired. And I’m not your wife yet,’ she said, trying unsuccessfully to sound stern.

‘Yes you are, as far as I’m concerned. You belong to me now, little one—it’s just a matter of convincing one or two other people.’

‘Pa, you mean.’

‘My father too. He could be even more of a problem, he can be difficult when it suits him. I’ve been thinking about that—’ They were interrupted by the noise of the back door opening, and Amy went to the range just as Jack and his sons came in.

‘Well, lad,’ Jack said in his booming voice, ‘what’s this I hear about what you’ve been doing for my daughter?’

Jimmy glanced from Jack to Amy with a look of terror, which she returned with interest, then he managed to look calm again and spoke to Jack with no more than a quizzical note in his voice. ‘What do you mean, Jack?’

‘These boys of mine have been telling me what happened last night.’

‘Ah, what in particular?’ Jimmy probed cautiously.

‘No need to be modest about it.’ He bore down on Jimmy and raised his arm. Amy cringed until she saw that her father had merely extended his hand to shake Jimmy’s. ‘So one of those Feenans tried to take liberties with my daughter, eh? And you laid him flat on the floor! I wish I’d been there to see it. I wish I’d been there to do it myself, come to that.’ He crossed to Amy and gave her a bear hug. ‘Of course, I might have killed him,’ he said in a conversational tone. ‘Laying a hand on my little girl. I’d have broken his arm, at least—probably both arms.’

‘Pa,’ Amy said weakly, ‘please don’t talk like that, I don’t like it.’

‘All right, sorry girl, didn’t mean to upset you. Anyway, I’m grateful to you, Jimmy.’

‘It was nothing, I just didn’t like to see Amy upset, that’s all.’

Amy distracted them by serving breakfast, but once she had got over the shock of misunderstanding her father’s words she felt a glow of happiness. He was in such a good mood with Jimmy, this morning would be a perfect time to ask him. She caught Jimmy’s eye once or twice during the meal and he smiled back encouragingly.

After they had finished eating, Amy was clearing away the plates when Susannah flung open the door from the passage. They all looked up in surprise, and Amy felt a stab of alarm when she saw that Susannah had the blue dress draped over one arm.

‘What on earth have you done with this?’ Susannah cried. She spread the dress out with a dramatic flourish. ‘Just look at it—creased as if you’d slept in it for a month, and you’ve got stains around the hem. How did you get it in such a state?’

She gave Amy no chance to respond, even if the girl had had an answer, before she turned to Jack. ‘I told you the child was too young for a silk dress—I told you, but you never take any notice of me. No one takes any notice—especially not
her
.’

‘Calm down, Susannah,’ Jack said, his cheerful smile replaced by a look of weary resignation. Amy felt a surge of anger at Susannah for spoiling her father’s mood.

‘Don’t tell me to calm down. Just look at this dress—she’s worn it once and it’s ruined!’

‘Give it to me!’ Amy snapped, giving in to her anger and snatching the dress away. ‘What right do you have to go poking around in my room?’

‘Do you hear the way she speaks to me?’ Susannah demanded. ‘All I did was go in to see if she’d hung the dress up properly, and I get abused for my trouble! I suppose you’re going to take her part like you always do?’

‘Amy, that’s no way to speak to your ma,’ Jack admonished. ‘Your ma’s got the right to go anywhere she wants in this house, and she was only seeing that you were taking care of your clothes. It looks like you weren’t, either.’

Amy remembered her secret brooch, lying in the drawer where Susannah could have found it if she had decided to explore a little further. ‘Why is she allowed in my room? I don’t want her going in there! It’s my room, isn’t it?’

‘Hey, you settle down, girl—there’s no need for you to carry on like that. You just do as your ma tells you, and keep a civil tongue in your head. What’s got into you this morning?’

‘You’d better get that strap out again,’ Susannah said, her eyes glittering. ‘She’s far too full of herself—it’s because you let her go to that dance—she’s too young for outings like that, as well as too young to have decent clothes.’

Amy was aware of Jimmy looking helplessly from her to Susannah. She felt tears of frustration spilling from her eyes. ‘I’m not! I’m
not
too young! You say that every time I want anything.’

‘Do I have to put up with this, Jack?’ Susannah demanded. ‘Are you going to make her treat me with respect or not? You’ll have to beat her again.’

‘You leave my sister alone!’ Harry roared, erupting from his chair and startling them all. ‘You nag at her all the time, then you let her do all the work while you sit on your backside.’ Susannah gave a gasp. ‘Don’t you touch her, Pa,’ he warned.

‘Don’t speak to me like that, you young—’

‘What are you going to do about it?’ Harry interrupted.

‘I’ll show you who runs this house.’

‘You’ll have to show us both,’ John said, getting up from his own chair and crossing to stand beside Amy. ‘Don’t touch Amy—she’s put up with enough the last few years.’

Jack looked at his two sons, both of them taller than him and almost thirty years younger, and he seemed to shrink a little before Amy’s eyes. ‘I wasn’t going to hit her,’ he said dully.

‘So she’s allowed to talk to me like that?’ Susannah’s voice rose to a near-shriek.

‘No, she’s not. I think
she’ll
still do what I say, even if no one else in this house will. Apologise to your ma, Amy.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Amy said, but it was her father’s forgiveness she sought, not Susannah’s. ‘I’m sorry I got the dress dirty, I just—’

‘It’s my fault,’ Jimmy put in, the first time his voice had been heard since the trouble erupted. Amy turned to him in fear. She was quite sure this was the worst possible moment for him to confess.

‘I brought Amy home last night. There was a bit of a fight at the dance—nothing serious, but unpleasant. Amy was very shaken, and I wasn’t looking after her properly—she tripped in a difficult part of the road and I didn’t catch her in time. Don’t be angry with her, Susannah, she’s too young to be blamed.’ He crossed to his sister and put his arm around her shoulder.

‘That’s no excuse for her to talk to me like that,’ Susannah said, her eyes flashing. ‘She’s allowed to say whatever she wants to me, and
he
,’ she flung out her arm in Harry’s direction, ‘uses language like that to me and his father does nothing.’

Susannah’s fury abruptly subsided into weeping, and she collapsed into Jimmy’s arms. ‘Now do you see what I have to put up with? They all hate me—none of them want me here—his children hated me from the day I arrived, and he always sides with them against me.’

‘Shh,’ Jimmy said, patting her gently on the back as she sobbed against him. ‘Don’t talk like that, Susannah, you’ll make yourself ill. How could anyone possibly hate you? You’re tired and upset—you need a nice rest and something to cheer you up. Why don’t you and I go somewhere quiet and have a talk, and maybe we can think of something you’d like to do today? Shall we do that?’

‘Yes,’ Susannah said, her voice muffled against Jimmy’s neck.

‘Is that all right with you, Jack?’ Jimmy asked.

‘I’d take it as a kindness, lad,’ Jack said, sounding wearier than Amy had ever heard him before. Jimmy led Susannah out of the room, and the rest of them stood in silence, avoiding one another’s eyes.

Amy made herself go over to her father. She put her hand on his sleeve. ‘I’m sorry about all that trouble, Pa, I really am.’ Her father patted her hand absently, then walked out of the house without so much as a glance at his sons.

‘Thank you for sticking up for me,’ Amy said, turning to John and Harry. ‘We’ve upset Pa, though.’

‘Too bad,’ Harry said, but Amy thought both her brothers looked shaken. ‘If he wants to let that bitch boss him around it’s his business, but he needn’t think she’s going to tell the rest of us what to do.’

‘I think maybe you two should leave him alone for a while,’ Amy said.

‘Mmm, you’re right,’ said John. ‘C’mon, Harry, let’s get out of here before Her Ladyship comes back.’

Amy found herself alone in the room. The kitchen seemed strangely quiet after the uproar. She wiped away the last traces of her tears and started on the dishes, puzzling over how the day could have gone so wrong so suddenly.
Now he won’t be able to talk to Pa this morning
, she fretted.
I don’t think Pa would even listen just now—if he did listen he’d go crook. And now Jimmy’s gone off to look after her
. She sighed deeply. It seemed Susannah was always involved whenever there was trouble in the family.
But I wouldn’t have Jimmy if it wasn’t for Susannah. Why does it all have to be so complicated?

Jimmy slipped out half an hour later, when Amy was part-way through making a batch of scones. He had changed into one of his suits, and Amy thought he looked wonderful. It made her very aware of her dowdy brown holland dress. ‘I’ve settled her down—it wasn’t easy. I’m going to take her visiting, so that’s my morning written off.’ He rolled his eyes melodramatically. ‘She certainly gets in a state, doesn’t she?’

‘Yes. Especially when I do something to annoy her—and I’m always annoying her somehow. I honestly don’t mean to, Jimmy, but everything I say makes her angry. And then Pa looks so miserable when she gets upset.’

‘I’m afraid my sister is the sort of person who wants everyone to suffer with her. I can understand why your father looks worn out.’ He planted a quick kiss on Amy’s forehead; she had to resist the urge to hug him with her doughy hands. ‘Susannah’s getting ready now. I hope we’ll have a chance to talk later, it depends how much visiting Susannah wants to do. You understand why I won’t be able to talk to your father for a while—maybe not today?’

‘Oh, yes—it would be silly for you to even try.’

‘Right now your father’s probably wishing he’d never even heard of my family. We’ll just have to wait for a better time.’

Susannah came back out to the kitchen, resplendent in green flowered silk. Little George, enveloped in a flannel gown, looked incongruous in her arms. She ignored Amy’s presence and spoke to Jimmy. ‘I’ve a letter to Mother to post, we can go to the Post and Telegraph first. Do you want to write a few lines before I put it in the envelope?’

‘No, I won’t bother. I’m sure you’ve told her all the news.’

‘Really, James, Mother would love a note in your hand.’

‘Would she? Oh, you know how I hate writing letters, that’s why I never do it. I never know what to say in them, anyway.’

‘Yes, you’ve never written to me in all the time I’ve lived here.’ She sighed. ‘Ah, well, I suppose most men aren’t much use at writing. I’ll tell Mother you send your love.’ The baby in her arms reached up to tug at Susannah’s hair; she tilted her head out of his reach. ‘I’m not sure whether to take George with us or not, it depends how long we’re going to be.’

‘Bring him,’ Jimmy said decisively. ‘Then we can stay away as long as you like, and you won’t have to worry about rushing home. He’s such a handsome little fellow, too, you must enjoy showing him off.’