Sentence of Marriage (51 page)

‘I’m trying to make it up to you for not looking after Amy.’ She tilted her head to one side and gazed at Jack. ‘Am I? Am I making up for it?’

‘There’s no need to talk about making up for things,’ Jack said gruffly. ‘But… I appreciate what you’re doing.’

*

Amy got up from her bed and sat in front of her dressing table. She studied the photograph in its silver frame, staring intently at the expression of love pouring from her mother’s eyes.
I do love Pa. I love John and Harry too, and Tommy and Georgie. That must mean I want to make things right for them, make up for the bad things I’ve done. Pa wants me to get married. I want the best for the baby, too. It’s not the baby’s fault. I wish I wasn’t so scared. Why does it have to be Charlie?
She lowered her eyes from the photograph.
Because no one else wants me. I’m too bad for anyone else
.

She was still sitting there when Susannah brought her lunch in on a tray. ‘Thank you. I don’t think I’ve ever had lunch in my bedroom before.’

‘It’s not every day a girl gets a proposal. I want you to have time to think it over properly, without any distractions.’ Susannah put the tray down on the dressing table and made to leave.

‘Susannah?’

Her stepmother turned back to her. ‘Yes?’

‘Would it really make Pa happy if I said I’d marry Charlie?’

‘He’d be beside himself. He thinks it’s at least partly his fault, you know, that you were soiled. If he could see you settled happily he’d be his old self again.’

‘I don’t think I would be settled happily, though. Not with Charlie.’ Amy gave an involuntary shudder.

Susannah sat down on the bed. ‘Well, I wouldn’t be too hasty about thinking that. I think perhaps we’re all a little unjust to Charlie, including me.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘It’s not easy for a man to live all by himself, trying to run a house as well as a farm. No wonder he seems rather abrupt in his manner. He’s probably very lonely.’

‘Lonely? Charlie?’ Amy struggled with the concept.

‘Yes. That’s why he wants a wife, I expect. To keep him company, and help him around the house.’

‘But you said he was bad-tempered.’

‘He
seems
bad-tempered. That’s because he’s not good at mixing with people. You know, I think you might just be able to sweeten him up if you tried hard enough. I know he’s old, but old men are easier to manage than young ones. They’re more grateful for the attention.’

‘Charlie never seems to like anyone. Do you think he’d like me?’

‘He must like you already, or he wouldn’t ask for your hand, would he?’ Susannah said. ‘No one’s making him get married. He must want to.’

‘I hadn’t thought of it like that.’

‘He’s not a wealthy man, but he’s offering to share what he has with you. He wants to make you the mistress of his house. You’d like to have a house of your own to run, wouldn’t you? Instead of just doing what I say all the time.’

‘Yes,’ Amy admitted. ‘But… do you think he’ll be kind to me?’ she pleaded.

‘If you please him, I don’t see why not. He mightn’t be easy to please, but I think you could do it. Men think you’re pretty, that should help you charm him. You’re more than halfway there already, now he’s proposed to you.’

Susannah left the room, and Amy mulled over her words. She ate her lunch without noticing what it was, then sat very still, her hands curled into tight fists on her lap. She stood up and took a few deep breaths until she felt brave enough to do what she had to. When she unclenched her fists she saw red arcs left by her nails in the flesh of her palms.

Her brothers had had their lunch and left, but Jack and Susannah were still sitting at the table in front of their empty plates when Amy walked into the room.

‘I’ve decided, Pa,’ Amy said, hoping her father would not notice the quaver in her voice. ‘I’ll do it. I’ll marry Charlie.’

‘That’s my girl!’ Jack almost knocked over his chair as he rose to embrace her. For a moment Amy lost herself in his hug, the first time she had felt his arms around her since he had found out about her disgrace. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked down into her face. ‘You’re sure you want to? I won’t force you, you know.’

‘I know. I want to.’
It’s not really a lie. I sort of want to. More than I don’t want to, anyway
.

Jack frowned. ‘You’re quite sure? You don’t look very cheerful about it.’

‘It’s all been such a surprise, that’s all.’ Amy concentrated hard, trying to persuade her mouth to shape itself into a smile. It was badly out of practice, but she felt the corners rise at last.

‘That’s better,’ Jack said. If Amy’s smile had a trembling look about it, her father did not seem to notice.

August 1884

‘Don’t go wandering off, Amy,’ Susannah said after breakfast the next morning, when the men had gone. ‘I want you to be here when Charlie comes.’

‘Why? I thought you’d want me to keep out of the way.’

‘Don’t be silly. You can’t tell him you accept his proposal if you’re not here.’

‘Do I have to tell him myself? I thought you and Pa would talk to him about it.’

‘There’s not much point being shy of him when you’ll be married to the man before long, is there? Of course you have to tell him yourself. I don’t want anyone saying you were forced into it.’

‘Oh. All right, then.’ Amy spent the next few hours doing all the light housework she could think of, and trying hard not to think about Charlie.

Jack came in late in the morning. ‘I’ve just seen him on his way up the road,’ he said. ‘I had to spin a yarn to the boys about why Charlie’s come over two days in a row—you’re sure I shouldn’t tell them yet?’ he asked Susannah.

‘Quite sure. Not till it’s all settled. You know what a fuss Harry makes about things. You can tell him after Charlie goes if you like, it’ll all be decided then.’

Susannah rushed to open the door as soon as they heard a knock. Her voice exuded enthusiasm as she welcomed Charlie. ‘Mr Stewart, come in. We’re all here and waiting for you.’

Charlie looked past Susannah, seeking Jack. He seemed surprised to see Amy sitting at the table beside her father, carefully resisting the urge to clutch at Jack’s hand. He walked into the middle of the room and stood holding his hat in one hand. ‘Well?’ he said to Jack. ‘What’s your answer?’

‘Amy can tell you herself,’ Jack said. ‘I’ve let her make her own decision.’ Charlie raised his eyebrows at this, then turned his gaze on Amy.

She had seen him staring at her many times over the years, and it had always made her nervous. Now she had to promise herself to him. Amy grasped at Susannah’s encouraging words: Charlie was awkward with people, that was why he seemed bad-tempered. He must already like her if he wanted to marry her. He would be kind to her if she pleased him. Amy dropped her eyes and stared at her hands as they twined around each other in her lap. She knew she was taking too long to answer, but the words stuck in her throat.

‘Come on, Amy.’ Jack nudged her arm with his elbow. ‘Don’t keep Charlie waiting. What have you got to say for yourself?’ He smiled encouragingly at her.

With an effort, Amy raised her eyes to look straight into Charlie’s. ‘Yes, I will marry you,’ she heard herself say. ‘Thank you for asking me,’ she added, feeling that something else was necessary. Now the thing was said, her pent-up tension came out in a small fit of coughing that she tried to muffle with her hand.

‘Well, you’ve got your answer,’ Jack said. ‘It’s what she wants, and I give her my blessing. She’ll make you a good wife, Charlie. A very good wife. I hope you’ll appreciate her.’

Charlie looked dubiously at Amy as she smothered another cough. ‘Is she healthy?’

Jack frowned. ‘Of course she is. Don’t talk about my daughter as if she was a mare for sale.’

‘Amy had a bad cough for a while,’ Susannah came in smoothly. ‘She got a little run down early in the winter. She’s much better now, that cough will be gone altogether soon.’

‘Good,’ Charlie said. ‘We’d best be getting things settled, then.’

Amy could see that she had played her own small part; now they were all talking as though she were not there. ‘Can I go now, please?’ she asked, rising from her chair. ‘You don’t need me any more, do you?’

‘No, I don’t think we do,’ Susannah agreed. ‘Off you go, then. Now, the first thing to decide is when the wedding’s to be,’ Amy heard Susannah say just before she closed the door on the three people who were deciding her life for her.

*

Lizzie walked into the middle of a conversation between her parents when she entered the kitchen that afternoon.

‘But don’t you think he’s a bit old for her?’ she heard her mother ask.

‘Is she going to get a better offer?’ Arthur said. He turned and saw Lizzie. ‘Well, you haven’t heard the news yet, have you?’

‘What news?’ Lizzie asked, a sinking feeling in her stomach. ‘Is it something about Amy?’

‘It looks like you’re not going to be the first one to the altar after all. Amy’s managed to find a husband—her pa’s found one for her, anyway.’

‘Who? It’s not Jimmy.’ It was a statement, not a question.

‘Humph! You’d believe in fairy tales if you believe that. Not quite as glamorous, but he’ll do the job. She’s going to marry Charlie.’

‘What!’ Lizzie was at a loss for words. ‘Are you serious?’ she asked when she got her tongue back.

‘It’s not much of a joke, is it? No, Charlie says he wants her, and your Uncle Jack’s said he can have her.’

‘Why?’ Lizzie asked, completely mystified.

‘Because he wants things sorted out for her. Charlie’s no great catch, but Amy can be respectable again once she’s properly married. It’ll be as though all this trouble never happened. You let that be a lesson to you, my girl—fathers have the right to do as they see fit with their daughters.’

Lizzie ignored her father’s pompous speech. ‘If she’s so respectable now, can I go and see her again?’ she asked.

Arthur considered. ‘All right,’ he said. ‘Go over tomorrow if you want. Try not to gloat over her too much. Frank must seem a pretty good catch compared to what she’s got.’

*

Amy was alone in the kitchen preparing dinner when Harry stormed into the house, with John right behind him. ‘Amy, they’re not going to make you do it,’ Harry said. ‘They can’t force you, and we’re not going to let them try.’

‘That’s right, Amy,’ John said. ‘You don’t deserve that.’

They stood there looking solid and dependable, and Amy wanted to shelter in their strength. But she would be hurting them, too, if she stayed at home in her shame. Susannah had said it reflected on them all. That wouldn’t be fair to her brothers, especially when they were trying to be so kind.

‘They’re not—’ she started to say. Her father came in, puffing from having rushed up to the house.

‘Don’t upset her, for God’s sake,’ said Jack. ‘Amy’s happy about it, you just ask her.’

‘Are you trying to tell me Amy wants to marry that old b—that old so-and-so?’ Harry demanded.

‘I don’t believe it, Pa,’ John said. ‘And I’m not going to see her forced into it just because you think she’s an embarrassment.’

‘Amy wants to! I just want to see her settled and happy.’

‘Happy! With Charlie! Don’t talk crap,’ Harry said in disgust.

‘Watch your language in front of your sister.’

‘You want to put her in Charlie Stewart’s bed and you’re drivelling on about language? Shit!’

‘I told you—’

‘What’s going on?’ Susannah said from the passage doorway. ‘What’s all the shouting about?’

‘It’s her idea, isn’t it?’ Harry cast a look of disgust at Susannah. ‘It’s not enough for her that her bastard of a brother did that to my sister. Now the bitch has talked you into giving Amy to Charlie. You’re not going to do it. I’m not having that old bugger pawing my sister. Don’t,’ he said warningly as Jack advanced on him with his fist upraised. He lifted his own fists almost casually, and stared his father down until Jack lowered his arm in defeat.

Amy waited for Susannah to erupt into hysterics, but instead she stood in icy stillness until everyone else fell silent. Then she spoke very calmly. ‘Amy, why don’t you tell your brothers what you want, since they’re so worried about you?’

All other eyes in the room turned on her, and Amy looked at the floor rather than face them. ‘I want to get married,’ she said quietly. She lifted her head. ‘They’re not forcing me, really they’re not. I’ve said I’ll marry him, and I’ll go through with it. It’ll be better for everyone.’ She saw John and Harry staring disbelievingly at her. ‘Please don’t fight over me.’
I’ve caused enough trouble
. ‘I’ll be all right.’
Maybe he’ll be kind to me
. She tried hard to shut out Harry’s picture of being pawed by Charlie.