September Tango (6 page)

Chapter Ten
– (Saturday)

She strode toward the doors that led to the employee lockers and maneuvered straight to his locker. She knew his combination by heart. It was the day she'd been born, May 18
th
, 1990. 05-18-90. The lock came undone. Taking a slow breath, as if expecting a damn skeleton to tumble out of the locker, she cracked the door open and her face crumpled.

She backed up in horror, shaking her head. Her back slammed into the lockers against the other wall and the force jolted her to the core. She started shaking as she slid down, the metal of the lockers scraping her back. She didn't notice the pain but she'd have bruises later. Tears flowed down her face and she sobbed. All that was left in the locker was an envelope with her name on it. This was no missing person.

That was how they found her a few minutes later, shaking her head and sobbing against the lockers. Officer Taylor knelt beside her and she looked up before bursting into laughter and a fresh round of tears. “What the fuck kind of luck do I have to get the officer who saw me screwing around last night on my Daddy's case?” Her laugh was bordering on hysteria.

Officer Tim stroked her back. “Hey, I'm here to do a job. I will hold nothing against you. I know Calvin, he's a good guy, and if he's with you, I like you too. But this is business right now. What can you tell me about the situation?”

Alice was wringing her hands and looking at the letter. “Have you read the letter yet?”

Zoe shook her head firmly no. “I can't yet.” She took a slow breath. “He hasn't been home in a few nights. He's been screwing Minnie Wilder, and I assumed he was staying at her house. I got the call from Alice this morning that he hasn't been to work. I called Minnie, she hasn't seen him either.” She scrubbed her hand across her eyes. “God damn.”

Officer Tim stood and grabbed the envelope out of the locker. “We need to read it.” He handed it to her. “I'm going to give you a couple minutes and make some notes.” He pulled a pad out of his shirt pocket and started scribbling. She turned the letter over and over in her hands, finally breaking the seal. She unfolded the lined notebook paper and started to read. 

“
Zoe, I hope that you can one day forgive me for all of the things I've done, and all the things I have yet to do. I am in deep. I've been gambling. I can't stop. I don't know if I want to, or if I even can. When everything unfolds, I can't see you hate me. I'm going to Vegas. I'm hoping to find some odd jobs to maintain my habit. I can't do the small town bullshit life anymore, Zoe. It's something I never wanted. If your Mama hadn't gotten pregnant with you, I would have finished college. I would have made something of my life. When she died I had nothing left to give you. Not a damn bit of love was left. It died when she died. I'm sorry. I can't be the father you need. I wish you the best. - Dad”

Her mouth opened and closed like a fish flopping on a dry river bank, gasping for air. She felt like a rock had just sat square on her chest. She clawed at her throat. She vaguely remembered seeing Calvin bust in the room and lay her back on the cold linoleum. She saw his eyes filled with worry and heard the soothing tone of his voice. He could have been telling her to roll around in a pit of venomous snakes and she would have done any damn thing he asked. The lilt in his voice was like a cool rush of water, soothing her. She felt her chest slowly unlocking and the rush of air that flooded her lungs felt like elixir to a dying man. She took a couple more deep swallows of the cool air and her eyes slowly refocused.

“You okay?” His voice flowed into her ears and she nodded slowly. “What is going on?” She handed him the letter, still unable to speak. He rested her head back on the floor. “Lay still and let your breathing regulate before you try to sit back up.” He was reading the sentences and she watched his jaw lock and the muscles pop. His nostrils flared and his eyes went dark. “What the fuck is this?” He shoved it at Officer Tim. “Read this fucking shit, man!”

He read it quickly. “Damn it.” He rubbed his forehead and handed the letter back to Calvin. “Doesn't look like a missing person's case.”

Calvin shook his head. “No, it doesn't.” She watched the muscles play in his jaw in fascination.

Alice spoke up. “So, he won't be back at work, will he?”

Officer Tim shook his head. “It's not looking like it, Grandma.”

They turned back to Zoe to see her eyes closed and her face pale. She'd passed out.

She woke up some time later on her couch at home. She smelled chicken and dumplings and her stomach rumbled. She lay perfectly still, closing her eyes again and wishing she could change everything from the past few hours. No one wants to be told they aren't loved, they are worthless and never even wanted by those they spent their whole damn lives trying to make happy. Tears filled her eyes and one slipped between her lids unbidden, coursing down her cheek and splashing on the soft pillow beneath her head. She squeezed her eyes shut and rolled so she faced the cushions on the back of the couch. She felt Calvin's hand brush her face.

“
Hey, Beautiful. Wake up.” He stroked his hand through the dark hair that flowed over the pillow. “I know you're awake.” He sat down on the coffee table in front of the couch.

“
I don't want to.” She sucked in air and it felt like razorblades cutting her insides. She squeezed her fists closed.

“
I know. I'm so sorry.” He kept rhythmically stroking her hair.

“
That feels good,” she murmured softly.

“
I'm glad, sweetheart.”

“
You don't have to stay with me, Calvin. This is too much. You should be out having fun on your time off. Not dealing with my bullshit.” She rolled and looked at his face.

“
What if I want to be here?” He clenched his jaw.

“
Why?” Her voice cracked.

“
You are awakening something incredibly protective in me. I'm feeling things I'm not sure about, but I know that everything points right back to you.”  His eyes were dark and solemn.

“
What?” She scoffed. “Are you saying you're in love with me?”

He paused for a second and licked his lips before responding. “I think it is a distinct possibility. I've never felt like this. Not with anyone.”

She scoffed again. “You can't be saying that. I'm unlovable, remember? Even my dad says so.”

“
I don't give a shit what your father says. I'm saying you aren't. I'm saying I want you. I'm saying I want to be right here. I'm saying I can't bear watching you sitting here in agony. I'm saying I want to protect you. I'm saying that I would give up everything for you. Right now. That is what's important.” His eyes bored into hers, searing her with desire and his words scorched straight through to her soul, imprinting her with the sincerity. She felt like a parched piece of earth and his words were balm for her soul.

“
Don't say it if you don't mean it, Calvin.”

He grabbed her hand before speaking, his voice coming out rough. “I never say a damn thing I don't mean, Zoe.”

She simply stared at him for a moment, her eyes searching his face, as if looking for a crack in some facade, some lie he was telling. Her heart drummed in her chest and she swallowed. “You're serious.”

“
Yeah, I am.” His hand twined in her hair and he brought his lips to hers, gently touching, seeking, and pleading for her trust. Tears filled her eyes as her heart broke into a million pieces then he picked them all up and set them right again. She was filled with fissures, and probably always would be but he was going to be the glue that held her together. A part of her deep inside knew it. She pulled him down to her again and their lips met, desperately. She saw stars lighting up the sky behind her eyelids and felt a drumming start in her core.

“
Calvin,” she whispered against his lips.

“
Zoe.”

“
Love me.”

“
I do. I don't know how I know. But I do. I love you.” He touched his lips to hers again, just a brush of his mouth. “Damn, I do.”

“
I feel like I'm falling,” she whispered, the pit of her stomach churning.

“
Let's fall together.” He pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips to her neck. “Damn, I'm so glad I came home.”

“
I don't want to stay here,” her voice was small.

“
Where do you want to go?” His breath tickled her neck and goose bumps popped up against her skin.

“
Can we runaway?” She murmured softly.

“
I'll go wherever you want.” He splayed his hands on her back.

“
Can we just leave this small town for tonight? Please?” She squeezed her eyes shut.

“
Yeah. Let's go.” He pulled back and stood. He grabbed her hand and pulled her from the couch. “My Grandma brought over chicken and dumplings. You wanna eat?”

“
Not right now. I just want to get out of here. I can't take it.” She pushed her hair off her face. “Give me a few minutes; I'm going to get myself together.” She walked toward the bathroom.

“
Do we need to leave a note for Amy? Where is she?”

“
She isn't staying here anymore,” she whispered, turning and looking at him.

“
What?” His brow furrowed.

“
I kicked her out this morning,” she murmured, her mouth turning down in a grimace. “Turns out, Callie wasn't the only best friend I had fucking my ex-boyfriend.” She didn't give him a chance to respond, just went into the bathroom and slammed the door.

“
Damn it,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes.
She has some shit luck.

She looked in the mirror, the freckles spattering her nose and cheeks standing out vividly against her chalky skin tone. She had dark circles under her red rimmed eyes and her hair was wild. She grabbed her brush from the sink and started forcefully brushing the snags out of her hair, the pain making her wince. She brushed her teeth and washed her face, letting the cool water soothe her. She quickly pulled her hair back in a low ponytail and dried her face. She rested her hands on the edge of the sink and took some slow breaths.
It is too much for one day. I can't take anymore. I just want to run away and never look back.

Calvin fingered the ring in his pocket that his grandmother had left with him, assuring him he'd know exactly when to use it. He was ready to make her his. He wanted to wipe every bad memory out of her mind, even if it was just for a little while. He put the chicken and dumplings in the refrigerator and leaned back against the counter.
I'm in love with her. This is it. This is more than lust. I've felt lust. I just want to wrap her up and protect her from everything. I want to fall asleep with her in my arms and wake up to her smile every morning.
His heart thumped hard.
Grams is right. I'm head over heels. I can't leave the states without knowing she's waiting for me.
He heard the bathroom door open and he straightened up, watching her come down the hall. Her eyes were red rimmed and she looked exhausted.

“
Where do you want to go?” He asked softly.

Her lips twisted. “I want to have fun. Ever done karaoke?”

He nodded. “Yeah we get bored in the barracks.”

“
Can we find a bar in Mobile doing karaoke?” She rubbed her arm.

“
Yeah, we can do that.” He pulled his phone from his right pocket and handed it to her. “Look one up. Let's go.” He walked to the door and opened it, ushering her out.

“
I need some cash.” She moved to the jar by the stove and pulled out the last twenty, jamming it in her pocket.

“
I got this.” He grabbed her hand.

“
You can't take care of me all the time,” she sighed.

“
Why the hell not? What would be so wrong with that, Zoe Parker?” He jerked her to him and caught her in his arms, feeling her soft curves press against his hard angles.

“
I... Nothing would be wrong with it. But you will be leaving.” She was flustered.

He lowered his face to hers and growled softly, “I told you don't keep reminding me about that.”

Her breath caught and her eyes went wide. “Calvin,” she breathed.

“
Let's go.” He grinned brilliantly, knowing exactly where her thoughts were going. She frowned as he hustled her out the door.

“
You are a tease.” She pouted.

“
Me? No...” He grinned again, shutting the door behind them and jumping off the porch. “Let's go, Zoe. I want you to have a great night.” He opened the passenger door and ushered her in. “Okay, look up a bar with karaoke.”

She climbed in and buckled her seat belt. “Okay.” She fiddled with his phone as he began driving toward Mobile. She felt the weight lifting off her as the miles took them away. She took a cleansing breath and let it go, focusing on the passing landscape.