September Wind (7 page)

CHAPTER SIX

Without warning, there was a break in the madness. Emily was so excited when she heard the news she nearly tripped while carrying a container of hot gravy. Grandfather, Steven, and Timothy were driving to Watseka tomorrow afternoon.

She tossed and turned most of the night, but that didn’t stop her from leaping out of bed before dawn to make breakfast, and then hurry with her chores. After lunch, cleanup, and a start on that night’s dinner, she waited for them to leave. Then she headed wistfully up the road toward the schoolhouse. The warm breeze and whiffs of daffodils reminded her of when she had romped through the fields with Haity on the way for a swim. Even though her memory still came with grief; now, if the mood was right, a smile crossed her face when she thought of Haity.

Thankfully, Aunt Francine wasn’t outside. Emily circled around in the ditch, then back up to the road a few yards beyond her aunt’s driveway. Another half a mile and she was standing at Daniel’s turnoff. Not sure where he lived, she squinted, looking for any sign of him. Just to think he was so near made her heart flutter.

She touched her cheek, remembering the kiss that had taken place on this very spot where she stood. The thought burned her face red, straight down to the middle of her chest, where it sat like a warm fire. She couldn’t wait to see him fling his golden locks off his face again, couldn’t wait to see his smile.

As she moved up the road, she thought of that smile and the twinkle in his green eyes so rich in color they reminded her of shimmering leaves off the afternoon sun. Nothing was more beautiful or important than him right now, and she loved the way thoughts of him consumed her.

When she reached the schoolhouse, she walked around the building and stopped to look up at the basketball hoop. The tetherball hung dirty, slightly blowing with the wind. She went over, picked it up and swung, winding it around the pole with one good punch. It felt good to be here again. If only she could go back to school in the fall, she would make better of it.

             
She went to the swings, and pumped herself up so high her spirits soared right through to the roots of her hair. Up there, it was easy to keep an eye out for him. When she saw someone come up the road, she held her breath until she knew it was Daniel by that slow steady saunter. Her heart thumped as he approached.

             
“Hi, Emily.”

             
“Hi, Daniel,” she said, sliding from the swing.              “Came to play basketball. You wanna?” He nodded toward the court.

             
Daniel had always been reserved, shy in a way, and yet confident. She felt safe with him, felt a beautiful excitement brewing between them as they walked.

             
He looked over and smiled. “Glad you made it.”             

             
“Me too. Can’t stay long though.”             

             
They made up games for two, losing a point for each basket missed, and gaining two for a backward shot over the head. She couldn’t stop looking at him, couldn’t stop the longing that was messing with her insides. When it was time to go, she didn’t want to leave, not ever.

             
“Well, I’d better get home.” Those words didn’t come easy. Yet, if she were late, it may be over for them.

             
They headed up the road, slower than they probably should have, slowing even more as they approached his turnoff.

             
They were close enough to kiss, almost toe to toe, with the warm sun off her back and his green eyes glistening in the rays. Her pulse raced, and that familiar flush burned her cheeks. She knew this was the moment for that kiss she had been waiting for. His eyes drifted down to her lips and then back up to her eyes. Then he looked away, the moment gone in a split second, killed by a flicker of embarrassment.

             
He flipped the ball from under his arm, twirling it around on the tips of his fingers until it flew off into the ditch. He jumped in after it. As he climbed back up, he gave her one of those smiles that would stay with her long after he was gone. “When can I see you again?”

             
“Next Friday... about three.” She said this already knowing it probably wouldn’t happen, not with the way things were going back home.

             
Still, she counted the days, each one with more hope than the day before.

             
Whether she was gardening, canning, washing clothes, or cooking, thoughts of Daniel made life easier. These days her morning routine was to feed the animals, bring eggs in from the barn, fix breakfast, then clean up and go back out to milk the cows. Not much got her down except the thought of something stopping her from seeing the one person she needed to see the most.

             
Even the men’s quarrels didn’t upset her like they used to, now that she had someone in her life again—not even Tuesday morning’s doozy of a row. It started the minute Timothy wandered into the kitchen.

             
“That damn tractor’s ticking like an old washing machine, Pa,” he grumbled on the way to the table.

             
Grandfather had already settled in and was loading his plate with scrambled eggs.

             
Emily hurried over with a pot of coffee, making sure to fill his cup first.

             
His shoulders slumped for a moment, he sighed, shaking his head, and then set the serving spoon down and picked up his fork.

             
Steven took a swig of coffee, glanced out the window, and then went to join the others. “Dropped the oil pan last night. Looks like the bearings are out.”

             
Timothy had pulled out a chair and was sitting, tying his shoes laces. “Damn you, Timothy, you shudda told me.”

             
“Didn’t know till last night, ya ninny.” He sat back as Emily placed sticks of bacon on his plate.

             
Timothy yanked his pants over his shoes and sat up, glaring at Steven. “Told you it was goin’ out. Now whata I do?”

             
“Oh, crap. Take the John Deere then. There’s plenty else I can do.”

             
Emily couldn’t help hearing the taunts and lashings, but her mind was elsewhere through most of it. Although, that didn’t keep her from giving a big sigh when they left for work.

             
Just the thought of seeing Daniel lifted her spirits. She could be out slopping the pigs and find herself humming, or whistling a tune as long as she was thinking about him. Those daydreams were what kept her going, and they would continue until she was with him again.

             
When the kitchen was clean, she headed out to the barn and sat to milk a cow. It wasn’t long before she closed her eyes, quivering at the thought of Daniel’s arms folding around her, his eyes filled with passion, her lips rising to meet his.

             
“Emily! Look what you’re doing.” Steven stood over her with a bale of hay set on a shoulder.

             
She straightened, lowering her gaze to a puddle of milk that filled the lap of her skirt. Shaking it out, she pointed the cow teat back to the pail, watching Steven wandered off. She could just imagine what he thought, catching her with her head raised up and her lips out like a baby bird, begging for a meal.

             
He dropped the bail next to one of the stalls and looked back with a glint in his eyes and a grin that made her think he might have more of an imagination than she reckoned. She smiled and turned back to the cow.

             
Her concerted effort to be carefree didn’t always come without struggle, but it felt real and kept her in a decent mood most of the time. Although, when Thursday rolled around, she knew her prediction had been right. They were so busy, no matter how she tried to rearrange a way to see Daniel on Friday, it would be impossible. With four or five extra people to cook meals for, three times day, there was barely a minute for herself. It was then as she saw the days stretch out until they seemed to disappear into the horizon, that even her daydreams couldn’t keep the blues away.

* * * *

On the fourteenth day of not seeing him, she hurried up the road with her stomach in knots, certain he had given up on her for sure this time. As she passed his turnoff, she stopped, looking long and hard, hoping to get a glimpse of him. But there was nothing but dirt and gravel, and a few tumbleweeds drifting across the road.

She reached the schoolhouse and headed for the swings. Halfway there, she thought she heard something and stopped to listen. Off to the back of the building came the steady thump
, thump, thump of a basketball.

She rushed around the building.

He grinned and stuck the ball under his arm, flicking his hair back. “De
cided to finally make it, huh?”

“Meant to come sooner. I tried.” She ached with the memory of missing him, and wanted
to fling herself into his arms.

He pulled the ball from under his arm an
d put a shot through the hoop.

She grabbed the rebound, and they began to play their usual games. But things had changed. Every time he brushed against her, she felt a mixture of frustration and excitement. She wished that whatever was stirring inside her would stop. Yet, at the same time, she was weak from wanting him near. Finally, she became so overwhelmed with those crazy emotions she
caught the ball and walked off.

“Hey, where you going?”

She bolted across the grass. “Last one to the swing is a dead rat!”

He shot past her, already
on a swing when she got there.

She hopped on next
to him and pumped herself up.

“I let you win, you know,” she teased. The wind caught her breath and she squealed, loving that he was willing to share the experience with her. None of the older boys would have been caught dead on the swings, and she was touched he took t
he chance of anyone seeing him.

When the sun hit the mark where she knew it was time to go, she had a bad feeling about leaving him. After Haity died, nothing felt safe for long. She stopped her swing and stood,
waiting. “I have to leave now.”

As they started toward home, he took he
r hand. That’s all she needed.

At his turnoff, he faced h
er and gently kissed her cheek.

“I can’t make it until week after next!” s
he hollered as he wandered off.

He stopped for a look back. “See
you in two weeks then, Friday?”

“Yep, week after next.”

As he turned back up the road, she called to him again before she could stop herself. “Daniel… I’ll be up in my favorite sycamore tree at sunset. And I’ll be thinking about you.”

He looked over his shoulder with a smile winding up his cheeks. “I’ll be at my bedroom window.
And I’ll think about you too.”

At that moment, any doubts she may have had about their future disappeared. She was certain that the something stirring inside of her was also stirring inside of him, and nothing was going to get
her down these next two weeks.

Everything was just as she promised herself it would be. Every meal she cooked, every floor she washed, and every trip to the barn was not a chore, but a step closer to the one she loved.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Two days before Emily was to see Daniel, everything changed. Her life, her thoughts, her hopes, and even her dreams would never be the same.

Emily was up in the hayloft playing with the new kittens when Claude found her. She’d always had good sense to avoid him, though why, the reason failed her even now as he walked toward her. She pulled the kittens close, and then everything went blank until she awakened to a wrenching pain, to Claude’s smothering weight crushing her, and this horrible thing she didn’t understand.

After, she raced to the creek, ran faster than her legs had ever taken her, and there she gathered herself together. The threat of a scolding could not pull her away until she found the courage to look on the new world that waited for her. She still did not know how to face the men with shame in her eyes.

The journey home was a series of running, and then stopping to catch her breath, of prayers and thoughts of anger, and guilt. She reached the house with the courage she needed, but with doubts no lighter than when she started.

She breathed in, and took the steps up to the veranda entrance. Her heart pounded, her hands shaking as she opened the kitchen door and walked in.

There wasn’t a sound but the ticking of the clock. She stood and listened for a few moments, and then rushed about preparing dinner.

Claude didn’t show his face that night, but the others walked in tired and ready to eat, and then fell into bed.

The next morning she awoke to a damp pillowcase against her cheek and an unfamiliar ache at the pit of her stomach. She yanked the covers back, and saw that blood had seeped onto the sheet. Scooting off the bed, she ripped her clothes off, then pulled on a bathrobe, and carried everything down to the washroom.

Mist filled the bathroom as she sat in the tub with her arms around her knees, shivering, remembering the pain and humiliation. He would find her again, he said as much, his warning not to tell anyone made sure of that.

It wasn’t new for her to try to avoid Claude, although to steer clear of him altogether was impossible. When their eyes met for the first time since that horrible day, she was chilled by the realization that his attitude toward her had changed. He was still mean and nasty, but a weaker side of him showed through, not in a pleasant way, but in a way that turned her stomach.

As difficult as it was going about her chores and acting as if nothing had happened, it was the thought of Daniel that kept her from falling apart. She longed to confide in him, but that could never happen. Still, she imagined if she did tell him, he would hold her close with his gangly arms, and promise her no one would ever hurt her again. Daniel, with his gentle heart, would make things better.

At last, the day arrived for her to see him again. She got up early, did her chores, and then fixed most of the dinner she would bring out to the men when she returned home.

When she reached Daniel’s turnoff, she sat in the grassy area next to the ditch until she saw him come up the road.

She stood, wanting to run to him, to fall into his arms and tell him everything. Although she waited quietly, watching his every movement, knowing that things had changed, she had changed. Daniel seemed to know something was different about her too, the way he walked up to her without reservation and stood looking into her eyes.

“I missed you,” he said, then raised a hand and brushed a piece of hair off her cheek.

She swallowed, fighting back tears. “Me, too.”

He took her hand, and they walked up the road just like before, although he looked at her differently now. She could tell he wanted to say something; but instead he squeezed her hand, and gazed off into the distance, most likely thinking about her and that she had changed. Whatever it was; if it was written on her face, or evident by the way she stood, or the tone of her voice, she felt it all around her; she was part of it. She didn’t want pity from him, not one bit. All she wanted was for him to know how much she needed him.

Their basketball game that day wasn’t quite as rambunctious as the times before. There was less teasing, not exactly mellow, but quieter, and in a way more mature. Then when they took the swings up, they didn’t laugh as much, although several times they stole glances at one another as if they had a silent bond that didn’t need words. That’s how she took it, anyway. She wished she could tell him about her change, and considered doing so, but then she was afraid he would look down on her if he knew the details. That would be part of the shame she’d have to carry alone.

It was almost time to go. He took her hand and led her to a grassy area where they sat and talked, not about school, or basketball, but about life. He told her someday he wanted to be a lawyer and have a big house in town, and that he planned to have at least three children. That last comment surprised her, but it thrilled her too. She told him one day she wanted to take a train to San Francisco, and that she couldn’t decide if she wanted to be a teacher, a writer, or something else.

When it was time to leave him at the corner, he bent to kiss her cheek. He started to pull away, and she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. This time he was the one staring after her as she walked home. That’s when thoughts of Claude crept in and tried to ruin what she’d just experienced with Daniel. It wasn’t over between her and Claude and that’s what worked her stomach into such a knot she bent over the ditch and threw up her lunch.

For the next two weeks, she didn’t see Daniel. And whenever Claude showed his face, she ignored him as much as possible. He had never come for meals on a steady basis, and she was grateful he hadn’t been around lately. If only it were remorse that kept him away.

Then on the day she was to meet Daniel again, Claude came up the front steps as she was walking out the front door. She knew by the look in his eyes, her days of ignoring him were coming to an end. She jumped off the porch and hurried across the lawn, through the arbor and to the side of the house until she was sure he was inside. Then she went up the road to meet Daniel.

She was nervous the whole way, and stood at the end of his road, shaking. Until now, she hadn’t let herself dwell too long on what happened between her and Claude, but after the way he looked at her, she couldn’t ignore all the emotions stirring up her insides. Right now, she didn’t trust herself not to tell Daniel.

She saw him come up the road, then and as he approached, she noticed he wasn’t carrying the basketball. He seemed troubled.

They walked to the school in silence, although that wasn’t unusual for them. He took her hand, led her to their spot against the building, and sat. She slid down beside him, thinking, this was a good time for them to talk about their future. He had to know that she needed him more than ever now.

She turned to him ready to tell him how she felt. He leaned forward, and her blood rushed through her veins, pumping her heart until she was breathless. 
Oh, Daniel, I love you,
 she wanted to say.

He pecked her cheek, and then pulled himself up and w
andered off toward the swings.

She followed. “Daniel.”

He turned and waited for her to catch up, and then took her hand, but he wouldn’t look at her.

She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but then maybe,
she really didn’t want to know.

They always tried to see who could go the highest. Most of the time, it was neck and neck, making sure to never go past the limit where the swings would take them over the bar, but far higher than the teacher allowed. Tod
ay, he went higher than normal.

“Not so
high, Daniel. You’ll go over!”

All at once, he bailed out and landed on the gra
ss a few feet beyond the dirt.

She stopped her swing and ran over, droppin
g to her knees beside him.

“Daniel. Are you okay?”

He rolled onto his back and stared up at the sky. She lay beside him, and placed her head on his shoulders.

“We’re moving,” he said quietly. “We’re
going back to South Carolina.”

She sat up. “But you can’t! We’re supposed to be…” She moved to her knees and looked down at him, using every ounce of strength to hold back a sob. “You
can’t go. You can’t leave me.”

She noticed how uncomfortable he was, biting the inside of his lip, his eyes narrowing, staring straight up, not even at her. This made her angry. She leaped to her feet, went over and heaved herself on a swing, and pumped
higher than she had ever been.

“Hey, slow down,” he said, standing beneath her.

She didn’t care if she went over.

“I’m sorry, Emil
y. I don’t want to go.”

“Makes no difference now, does it, Daniel!” No words would stop the pain. Begging wouldn’t change a thing. She had already lost him, just like
everyone else she ever loved.

He forced her swing to a stop.

She hopped off and started for home.

He came up beside her, taking her hand. There was so much to say. Yet she was too numb to say anything at all, even that she was sorry for yelling at him
. She knew it wasn’t his fault.

At his turnoff, he pulled her into his arms, just like in her dr
eams. But it was different now.

“I’ll miss you
,” he said, his voice cracking.

“Me t
oo. I’ll miss you too, Daniel.”

When he pulled back, she saw tears in his eyes. He squeezed her
hand, and quickly turned away.

She wanted to beg him to stay a while longer, to tell him it was okay to cry. But it was no use. She watched him walk away, becoming smaller and smaller. Finally, he looked back and waved. That was it, one last wave a
nd he was gone out of her life.

After he disappeared, the sobs began. Her tears flowed so that she
could barely see her way home.

Her eyes were red and swollen when she walked into the kitchen and came face to face with Grandfather. He had cut off a hunk of roast,
and was pouring himself coffee.

“
Where in the hell’ve you been?”

She didn’t say anything, just sailed across the roo
m to wash her face at the sink.

She could sense hi
s shock as he stood behind her.

“Everyone’s waiting for dinner.” He said no more, didn’t
yell like she thought he would.

“It won’t be long,” she told him quietly.

He went to sit on the front porch and she pulled everything out of the refrigerator and began to put dinner together. Maybe she would sneak the new kittens up to her room for the night. She pictured them snuggled in bed with her. Steven would take them to town in the morning. They’d be safe there. Some day she would leave for town too and never come back.