Authors: Cindy Pon
Tags: #YA, #fantasy, #diverse, #Chinese, #China, #historical, #supernatural, #paranormal
“What happens now?”
“I don’t know. The abbot has received word from the other monasteries—the demon sightings extend across the entire kingdom. Monks are fighting in every province to keep our people safe. Traditionally, the gates of the underworld close again two weeks after the Ghost Festival begins. But who knows what will happen with this breach between our realms.”
She pressed a palm against his chest. “Do take care.”
She caught the flash of his teeth when he smiled. “That’s why I came. To warn you. It’s most dangerous at night, but you shouldn’t be wandering outside the manor any longer, even in the day. Especially within the forest.”
Skybright was glad for the dark, so he couldn’t see her expression as a host of different emotions flitted through her. Kai Sen was killing demons—slaying monsters exactly like herself. Ignoring the knot in her stomach, she twisted the front of his black tunic in her fists and pulled him down for a kiss. He obliged, grazing her mouth softly at first, so her lips tingled. His hand slipped behind to caress her nape as the other brushed across her lower back, and he drew her even closer to him. Their kiss was slow and deep. And when she felt her insides quiver, followed by that dangerous heat, she imagined coolness drenching her legs, keeping them separate.
Human.
He could never know. No one she cared for could ever know. But she would have this one kiss, because she desired it.
It was Kai Sen who broke away first, releasing her and flinging his arms to the sides as if checking his balance. “Goddess,” he said in a low voice. And for the next few moments, there were no other sounds except for their ragged breathing. “I admit I was going to ask for a kiss before I left—” He threw a hand up. “All right. Beg for one if I had to.”
She laughed, then winced as it had been too loud. “Kai Sen, I like you. But—”
He pressed his fingers to her lips. “Don’t. I’m going demon hunting tonight. We’ve started a war against the underworld. The proper things to say here are: Be careful, Kai Sen, or I’ll miss you, Kai Sen.” He stepped back and grinned at her. “I’ll wait for you, Kai Sen,” he said and climbed the wall in two breaths, crouching low at the top. “I hope we see each other again soon, Skybright. Keep safe.”
She stood alone in the dark, listening for his retreating footsteps, and heard none. He moved as silently as the ghosts.
“Be careful, Kai Sen,” she whispered. “I’ll miss you.”
But only after she felt certain that he had gone.
The Ghost Festival kept the entire manor occupied in the following days. Not only was a magnificent feast laid out for all the Yuan ancestors, hell money was burned for the dead to use in the underworld. Incense was kept lit day and night, and the fragrance of sandalwood drifted on the wind. Because of the strict warnings from the monastery and the strange sightings that had been reported, Lady Yuan hired monks to chant prayers for the dead throughout the day. Performers were also hired for shows of dancing and opera to entertain the wandering ghosts. The manor was large enough that a small stage was built in the main courtyard, and neighbors were invited to attend.
The girls kept within the manor all day and planned no secret adventures. Even servants, when they had tasks that took them outside the manor, went in pairs or more. No one from the Yuan manor besides Skybright had seen anything unusual since the Ghost Festival began, but they all took the abbot’s warning seriously. For that, Skybright was relieved. She didn’t encounter any more hungry ghosts, although at night, she’d sometimes catch the murmur of hundreds of voices upon the wind or glimpse shimmering light in her peripheral vision. But if the hungry ghosts feasted, they did so without bothering her.
Her relationship with Zhen Ni slowly returned to normal, even if Skybright remained more reserved than before. If her mistress noticed, she didn’t comment on it. She watched as Zhen Ni and Lan fell back into their close friendship, laughing together, their cheeks blooming again with color. Zhen Ni tried to include Skybright in all her conversations and pastimes with Lan, but Skybright felt awkward around the quiet girl, less refined. She was keenly aware that she was unable to read the simple women’s language that had been taught to both girls, couldn’t grasp the literary and poetic allusions they referred to in conversation. But least penetrable of all was the closeness that bound the two girls, affection, desire, and … something more that Skybright could neither pinpoint nor describe. It was as if Zhen Ni and Lan existed in their own world, communicated in their own language. She saw it in their sidelong glances, the way their fingers would linger on each other when they passed the embroidery, how they each unconsciously leaned toward the other, like two orchid stalks on the verge of twining.
Skybright’s thoughts would then turn to Kai Sen and wonder how he was. She’d say a prayer for him every time she imagined him fighting against those towering demons. Choosing to heed his warning, she remained within the manor. Skybright wanted to be a better handmaid to Zhen Ni. She still had time alone with her mistress in the mornings and before bedtime, as she prepared Zhen Ni, when they could gossip and laugh as they did before Lan had come. But after eight days had passed and still no word from Kai Sen, she began to worry. She’d started the habit of lighting the final incense stick for the hungry ghosts in the narrow alley, then pacing the length of it until she became too weary, hoping that he would come to see her.
He never did.
Zhen Ni was lying across her large platform bed with a deep purple cushion beneath her elbows. Her eyebrows knitted together as she studied the black and white stones on the board in front of her. She was playing her usual afternoon game of Go, but Lan had taken the place of Skybright as her partner. Skybright tried not to dwell on the fact that her mistress had not asked her to play since Lan had arrived. It made things easier for her, Skybright reasoned. Let Lan face the repercussions if she were foolish enough to win a game over Zhen Ni!
Skybright wiped the jade jars and boxes on Zhen Ni’s vanity, arranging then rearranging them perfectly on the rose wood table. She didn’t sing while she worked, her mood too heavy after over a week of not seeing Kai Sen and worrying for him. And from never knowing exactly how she should act in front of Lan, always feeling as if she were intruding. Always feeling awkward and irrelevant. She knew deep down that she was truly an outsider now, different than everyone. Skybright could never marry, but neither would she ever get her monthly letting, a passage into womanhood that was so fraught with meaning for other girls.
Zhen Ni and Lan whispered behind her on the bed, their fingers entwined.
Skybright had opened every lattice window in the large bedchamber, and a soft summer breeze stirred, bringing the subtle fragrance of orange blossoms. Afternoon sunlight cast diagonal patterns against the pale green walls. Skybright had just begun wiping the large bronzed mirror hanging above the vanity when Zhen Ni touched her shoulder, startling her.
“Could I speak with you in the reception hall, Sky?” her mistress said.
Placing the cloth she had been cleaning with on the vanity, Skybright followed her mistress into the spacious reception hall. The doors leading out to the courtyard were pulled closed to allow the girls their privacy.
“Yes, mistress?” Skybright said, unable to deny how truly happy Zhen Ni appeared, her cheeks rounded and glowing with natural color. Her expressive eyes seemed to hold an inner light.
“I’d like you to speak with Lan,” Zhen Ni said in a hushed voice.
Panic surged through Skybright. “About what?”
Her mistress laughed softly and touched Skybright’s sleeve, in the way she always did when she wanted to cajole Skybright into doing something. “Don’t be silly. About anything,” she whispered. “I want you to get to know her better. You’re so quiet and withdrawn when she’s around. I want you to be friends, Sky.”
Skybright almost let out a sigh. “I’m your handmaid, mistress. It isn’t my place to chatter on with Mistress Fei—”
“Do this for me, Sky. Please?” Zhen Ni had her by the wrist and was pulling her back toward the bedchamber. “I’ll leave you two alone for awhile,” she said, and pushed the door aside and scampered out into the courtyard before Skybright could reply.
This time, Skybright did let out a long breath of exasperation.
Zhen Ni always got what she wanted.
Skybright straightened her shoulders before stepping back inside the bedchamber. Lan had moved to sit on the edge of Zhen Ni’s bed, and it seemed to swallow her petite frame. Aside from her robust laugh, Lan was soft spoken and much more reserved than Zhen Ni. But then, she was a guest in the Yuan manor. The two girls studied each other silently before Skybright said, “Do you need anything, mistress? Tea? Or perhaps fruit or something sweet?”
Lan’s bow-shaped mouth curved into a smile, and Skybright had to admit Lan had a beautiful smile, bright and open. Still, she imagined her mistress kissing Lan’s full lips, saw again the rouge that had smeared across their cheeks when she had found them that early morning, and Skybright remembered once more her own shock and confusion. She was jealous. Not because her mistress had chosen to share her bed with another girl, but because Lan had obviously filled Zhen Ni’s heart so completely. Was there any room left for her?
“Please call me Lan.”
Skybright bristled. This girl was asking her to break one of the most fundamental rules of decorum. “I’m not allowed to call you only by your given name, mistress.” Skybright bowed her head in acquiescence to emphasize her point.
An uncomfortable silence.
Finally, Skybright lifted her chin to see Lan red-faced, Zhen Ni’s embroidered sheet twisted in both fists. “I apologize, Skybright,” she said in a husky voice. “I come from a humble home, and we have no personal servants. We’re fortunate to have a cook and a housekeeper who come and help Mother, but neither of them live with us.”
“Please don’t apologize, Mistress Fei.” Skybright had known from the start that Lan’s family was not as wealthy as the Yuans, but didn’t realize how much so until now. They stared at each other awkwardly.
“Perhaps we are more alike than not?” Lan said after a long moment, smiling shyly.
No, Skybright thought, and bit her tongue. No matter how poor Lan’s family, how low her stature, it was still above that of handmaid. Even if Skybright wore a fancier tunic and more elaborately embroidered slippers, it was only because Zhen Ni wished for her to have them. Her mistress treated her well, and they loved each other, but this conversation only stressed more to Skybright how different she was from Lan, each of them trapped within their own stations.
Seeing that Skybright had no intention of replying, Lan swallowed and tried again. “Zhen Ni speaks so highly of you.” Lan’s face softened just from saying her mistress’s name. “You’re like a sister to her.”
“We grew up together since we were babes,” Skybright replied. “We’ve never spent a day apart.” Her voice wavered at the end, and the threat of tears gathered in her eyes. Saying these simple truths drove deeper just how much had changed for Skybright and Zhen Ni in the past month. How much Skybright could lose. It felt as if it were all slipping from her, because Zhen Ni had fallen in love and refused to marry. Because Skybright had discovered that she wasn’t truly mortal. And she saw no way to close this widening chasm between them.
“I’m envious,” Lan said. “I have just one sister, and she’s six years older than me. We were never very close, and now I’m fortunate if I see her once a year.”
What did Zhen Ni want from her? For Skybright to jump on the bed and ask Lan to join her in a game of Go? As shy as Lan was, Skybright could see she was truly making an effort to be friendly, but Skybright found it impossible to respond other than formally—as a servant. A servant was all she had been her entire life, and it seemed unfair that Zhen Ni expected her to do the impossible and break decorum simply because she desired it.
Mercifully, Zhen Ni returned just then, bearing a tray laden with sweet buns, salted walnuts, and sliced pears and oranges. She beamed at each of them in turn, as if she had played matchmaker and made a successful pairing. “Have I interrupted something?” she said brightly. “I’ve asked Oriole to bring in a pot of tea as well.”