Set In Flames (Morningstars Book 1) (7 page)

“What was it you were thinking about earlier anyways?” Kaden asked and Jaden picked up a brow, waiting.

“Him in baby pink boxers,” she grinned, obviously proud of herself. Kaden laughed, winking at her.

“Totally love it,” he agreed.

“I don’t. Try a full body bunny costume next time,” Jaden snapped, sobering both his twin and his mate. It was weird thinking of her like that, yet the thought came easy enough all the same. He knew that most of his feelings stemmed from the bond, but when he looked at her now he wondered if he could seriously fall for her.

She seemed breakable since she was tiny compared to him, and she was a threat to everything he believed came first in his life, but for a few moments he wondered what it would be like to return after a night of fighting, knowing she’d wait for him and cuddle up with him for the daylight hours. He could already imagine that her mere presence would soothe him.

Then he remembered that as the Queen’s mate he wouldn’t even be in her life and he decided that maybe it was for the best that way. He never had wanted a mate because it would keep him from fighting right. He’d be too careful, not ruthless enough to go for the killing the way he was used to. He saw it in their leader Colbin, who barely ever came out to fight anymore. Lara had asked him to stay back and he had easily given in to that, dealing with political issues instead. The most action he got was when they were having practice fights. Jaden knew Colbin would be a great warrior out in the night, but nothing so far had convinced Colbin to come with them regularly.

“Devon then? Or Red?” At each suggestion Jaden shook his head. He’d just have to make sure Matt knew what would happen to him if he as much as touched Maya.

“I’ll come and find you when we are back. Don’t…” He reconsidered whatever he was about to say, taking a deep breath and making sure there was distance between them even though he wanted to hold her, kiss her and make personally sure that she was okay.

“He knows all your secrets, but still, try to avoid giving him any more, okay? No matter what you survived so far, a trained Morningstar vampire is no match for you. I mean you are no match for him. Don’t fight with him, okay?” She just watched him, making him wish he had Lex’ talent.

“Okay?” he pushed, needing her confirmation. She nodded once and he blew out a relieved breath.

“Good. We won’t be long,” he promised and she reached for his hand, making sure he looked at her. The violet of her eyes was simply breathtaking.

“I’ll be fine for now. There’s so much to think about, so much to settle in, and besides … you confuse me and mess with my sense of whom to trust and whom not,” she admitted, making clear that she simply had decided to be glad that she could be away from him for now.

“Do I bother you?” he spat before he could stop himself. Her eyes went wide at the coldness in his voice.

“That was not what I was saying and you know it,” she whispered, looking at Kaden for a moment. Jaden wondered if his twin would now always be witness to their most private conversations since she obviously looked to him for strength.

“You don’t bother me. You turn my emotions all crazy inside. One minute you are gentle, throwing around possessiveness like confetti and the next you couldn’t care less. You might not say it, but I can see it on your face. One minute you are fully with me and the next I might as well be standing alone in this room. So yeah, maybe that does bother me after all,” she admitted and he liked that she hadn’t tried to lie to him.

“You know what’s out there? Monsters that only wait to get their hands on Origins like you because with their deaths you destroy the males behind them. If that happens to one of us warriors, the Order would be weakened. We are the ones to defend the race. You see now why a mate is a burden for someone like me?”

“Jaden, stop. I’m begging you, brother,” Kaden interrupted, but Jaden didn’t want to stop. He wanted to hurt her so she wouldn’t get attached to him. So he wouldn’t get too attached.

“I never wanted my own mate because they are a hindrance. I am a warrior first and I’ll do everything to serve my race. Unfortunately our bond makes me lose control of my emotions every now and then. It’s evolution, not feelings, so don’t mistake the one for the other, Maya. I’m not a hero and I definitely won’t be your lover. At least not by choice. And now, Kaden and I need to get going.”

He stalked out of the room, not checking if she was following him because he could feel her staying close. He knew if he’d turn, the expression on her face would make him want to pull her in his arms and admit that half of his words had been lies.

“Seriously?” Kaden hissed next to him, but Jaden couldn’t put in words all that he was feeling.

He didn’t bother knocking on Matt’s door, strolling into the room as if he owned it.

The young Morningstar vampire stood by the window, just staring out into the darkness, not seeing anything. Jaden had never seen him so serious.

“She’s yours until we are back. Whatever you do with her, don’t hurt her,” Jaden said with as much indifference as he could muster. He knew Matt wouldn’t touch his female, but Maya didn’t.

“She’s my Origin, so don’t bite her. It’ll only hurt you,” he pointed out, knowing Maya thought he warned Matt for his own good, when in truth he just needed to mark his territory. Matt simply nodded, seemingly understanding what Jaden hadn’t said: Touch her and you are in trouble.

“If she wants to go to bed, return her to her room. We don't want her to run away, do we?”

“It’s enough, Jaden. I get it. I stay away from you and I won’t bother you. I won’t ask anything of you,” she said, her voice cold as steel even while her purple eyes were betraying her, showing only too clearly how much she was hurting.

“I can’t be responsible for you, Maya. I don’t even know how to be responsible for myself,” he said a lot softer.

“Clearly,” she snapped, shoulders squared, turning away from him with her head held high. He liked her inner strength a lot and yet, he couldn’t shake the need to pull her back in his arms. He knew he needed to walk out of the door, but his feet stayed rooted to the spot.

“Come on, buddy, you’ve done enough damage for now,” Kaden remarked, pulling him out and away from Maya. It was obvious that Kaden was more than pissed.

Hell, he even hoped Kaden would try to beat him, but his twin only glared at him, not easing any of Jaden’s tension at all.

“What was that about?” Matt asked while Maya walked around the room. She didn’t really see anything, but couldn’t help noticing that the room was more like a full apartment.

“Thank you for not killing me,” she decided to say, not feeling in the frame of mind to explain to Matt what there was – or rather wasn’t – between her and her mate. That connection was too complicated; too emotional and just too hard to explain. For a moment she wondered how it would feel to talk to Lara, the only other Origin she really knew. Had her feelings been all over the place in the beginning, too?

Maybe it was best that he pushed her away. She felt herself hoping for his presence when she was afraid and confused, and she didn’t like that feeling. She had been on her own for a long time and she knew how to handle herself. She didn’t need a mate to do that for her.

“You know?” Matt asked, sounding slightly worried. For a second she wondered what he meant, then she remembered that she had thanked him for letting her live.

With the new knowledge it was easy to place his face on the hot guy she had met years ago.

“Why didn’t you do what you came to do?” she wanted to know, sounding calm and collected. She was surprised at how carelessly she could discuss her own death.

“I… you … I was new with them. I had met a few male Hellraise, but none were like you… Not that you are a Hellraise yet, but … you were beautiful, incredibly so, and I couldn’t do it.”

“I see,” she said, even though that was a lie. Things like that didn’t exist in her world. Brothers who sent warriors to kill their little sisters shouldn’t exist in
any
world.

What she did understand though was that laws were needed to keep Hellraise babies like her from being born. They all were monsters in the making. She knew that better than anyone. She knew her mother after all. Still, Maya never had shown killer tendencies herself; hadn’t even known what she was.

“Well, what do you feel like doing?” Matt wanted to know, trying to lighten the mood.

“How long have you known the twins?” She needed to know more about them, needed to know how Jaden acted when you weren’t forced on him. Not that she had actually planned for that.

“I’ve known them only since I joined the Morningstar warriors. In the beginning it was very hard to get close to them. Ryder, Jaden and Kaden are usually a closed off unit. Nothing gets between them. That is, nothing until now. Once I did get to know them though I couldn’t have wished for better friends. Loyal, honest, fun. Most of the time. The dynamics have changed now though. No matter what will be thrown our way, Jaden will always protect you first and foremost. And I think so will Kaden. At least until Kaden finds his Origin, too,” Matt explained and Maya slowly nodded.

She absent-minded touched a leather bound book on his desk.

“Kaden seems like the type,” she agreed.

“Jaden even more so. This whole thing caught him off-guard. Hell, it caught us all by surprise. Colbin always had foretold that something like this could happen, but we never believed him. And now look at you. Here’s an Origin,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief.

“And a pretty one, too. Can I steal her?” Colbin asked, suddenly standing in the door. Maya had been too engrossed in her thoughts to hear him enter.

She could tell Matt was torn between keeping her out of obligation to Jaden and handing her off to Colbin, the one who actually was his leader.

“You can trust me,” Colbin promised and Maya looked from him to Matt. If she had a choice, she’d prefer the young warrior, but she decided to simply stay passive. They didn’t need to know that she harbored a healthy dose of respect for the Morningstar leader.

“I don’t care who treats me like a burden. Jaden doesn’t give a damn, remember?” she shrugged, hoping to give Matt the easy way out.

Both men exchanged a glance and then focused back on Maya.

“We … just come along and we’ll talk?” Colbin asked, almost making it sound as if she had a real choice. She could tell though that he wanted her to come along and would make it happen, too.

“Fine,” she agreed, straightening her spine while following him outside.

In the hallway a few doors down from Matt’s room Colbin stopped and turned to her.

“I’d prefer it if you’d stay in your room,” he said, sounding as if he truly regretted that request. “This is difficult enough for all of us and I don’t think you should make things here more complicated than they already are,” he added and she stared at him.

“Jaden just wanted to make sure I was safe,” she whispered, feeling like a prisoner suddenly. It made her want to run.

“You are safe in your room, I promise. No one will be allowed to come and bother you,” he replied, his voice soft. He looked much harsher than he acted; yet Maya didn’t like him at all.

When they were outside, Kaden finally did Jaden the favor and punched him hard. Jaden welcomed the pain.

It was as if he suddenly was a split person; one part needing to be close to Maya while the other part wanted to tie her up in some basement and forget all about her.  For a brief moment he wondered if Kaden would go with him and find a woman.