Seven (25 page)

“Are we walking today or do you want to just sit here and talk?” Trinity sneaks up on me and I startle. “Nervous much?” She laughs.

I shake my head and stand up, motioning towards the trail. “You have no idea.”

“What happened last night, Em?” she speaks up just as we get about a quarter of the way around. “You left and Reece came back to the table like someone kicked his dog. He could barely look at the two of us. You guys didn’t…” she trails off, leaving it up to the imagination.

“We didn’t what?” I ask, brows furrowed.

“Like kiss or anything?”

I stop mid-step and turn towards her, ignoring the fact that we are standing next to my childhood home. “No, Trin. I would never do that to you.”

She blows out a breath of air and pulls me in for a hug. “Thank God. I really didn’t want to have to cut your throat.”

I laugh as pull away. “I’d hate if you did that.”

Her hand raises and she caresses my back in comfort. “So, what then? Tell me what happened?”

I swallow down the bile rising in my throat and begin. “This is going to be a long story.”

“I’m in. Tell me.”

“See that house?” I ask, pointing to the place I grew up.

She looks over, smiling and nods. “Yes.”

“That’s my parents’ home. I was raised there from preschool to senior year.”

“It’s a beautiful house,” she compliments. “But, what does it have to do with you and what happen last night?”

I take a deep, strong breath and dive straight in. “I grew up with Reece and Casen. And that guy Ian we met the one night. All of us. We all went to high school together.”

“Really?” she asks. “That’s crazy. You all never mentioned you knew one another.”

“That’s why I’m telling you all of this. I need to tell you this story before someone else does.”

Her brows furrow in confusion and concern. “Ok. Tell me, Em.”

“They were friends with a few other guys.
Really
popular guys. There were seven of them and Casen had told them all that he liked me. They treated it like a joke, staying that I would go out with one of them before I would go out with him. So, Reece started a bet to see who could get me to go out with them. Just a ‘friendly wager’ among them. Nothing serious.”

Her face is void, as though she is trying to process the information.

“Well, Ian won,” I say with mock happiness. “I had liked Casen, too, and was trying to make him jealous by going out with Ian. But, the night of our date, it went too far and he persuaded me to give him my virginity.”

“Em,” she interrupts from beside me as we continue our walk. “I didn’t know.”

“I didn’t tell you.” I shake my head, trying to recall the memory. “And, what I didn’t know back then, is that a security camera in Reece’s garage caught Ian and I having sex.”

Trinity gasps. “Oh, God.”

“They held that tape over my head, Trin. A few of the guys used it to get me to do their homework, pay for their lunches, just stupid childish things. Tripped me in the hallway. Made sexual comments and advances toward me. Spread rumors about me that turned everyone against me. Things that never left me. Casen and a few others in the group never took part in the bullying, but they stood by and watched it happen.”

“Why are you with him, then?” she asks, sounding horrified.

“I’ll get to that. Well, my senior year, someone released the video. I found out last night that it was Reece. He released it, but said it wasn’t intentional.”

“Reece?” she asks, like she is just now realizing this isn’t just a story about me, but one about her current guy.

I turn to her. “I’m not telling you this so you can think badly about him. I just need for someone else to know the whole story. That tape?—it ruined me. My parents saw it, my friends saw it, and everyone shunned me. No one would talk to me or even look my way. Even though my dad was a cop, the police wouldn’t do anything. It was a nightmare.”

She turns to me, gripping both upper arms in her hands. “Embyr, that is horrifying.”

I can’t hold back my tears any longer. “It was. I was so alone. Then, my parents died. My mom committed suicide,” I choke out. “My dad died a few months later on the job. It made me cold and bitter, Trinity. So bitter.”

She engulfs me in a hug. “Honey, that would make the toughest man break.”

“I survived, though,” I tell her, sliding my arm through hers. “But, it set me off at freight train speed towards redemption.”

She pulls me over to a bench along the paved trail and we sit down. Her hands clasp mine in her lap, her beautiful blue eyes searching for answers. “What do you mean?”

“I went to college. Changed my name. Changed my appearance by losing some weight and getting colored contacts. Dyed my hair.” I twirl a strand of it between my fingers.

“Embyr isn’t your name?”

I look at her. She’s my best friend and I’ve lied to her. I know she’s going to be hurt by the rest of the story. “No. It’s Annie. Annie Barnes. I mean, I’m officially now Embyr, but I used to be Annie.”

She takes a deep breath and shakes her head. “I just don’t understand. If they did that to you, and you went through all of those changes, why are you hanging around all of them now?” She shrugs in confusion.

“This is the hard part. Where I tell you the rest of my story and pray that you still want to be my friend.”

“Oh, Embyr. I will always want to be your friend.”

I look out at the water. It glistens with the beating sun but I feel as though I’m in a world of darkness. “Over the past five years or more, I have been trying to plot a way to get revenge on them for taking everything from me. The pride of my parents. My friendships. Do you remember Patrick, my old boss?” She nods. “He was one of them. I helped to make sure clients noticed Patrick was taking their money. He was taking it; I just helped them figure it out quicker. Another classmate, I was blackmailing him for sleeping with a student. That’s why I had all that extra money.”

Trinity starts to pull back a little, still keeping our hands intertwined, but I can sense a slight shift.

“I was trying to make their lives miserable like they made mine. My intention with Casen was to break his heart. Make him fall for me and then leave him in the cold, but things changed.” I start to sob. “I fell in love with him and now I have to tell him what I’ve done.”

“You already knew who he was when we met him at the bar?” she quietly asks.

I shake my head. “Yes. I knew.”

“And, Reece?”

I swallow the lump forming in my throat. “I knew who Reece was, too.”

I let that set in for a moment. Waiting for her to process it all. “So, Reece started the bet and released the tape of you having sex with his friend?” she asks in disbelief.

“I found out last night it was an accident. He didn’t mean to release it.”

She side eyes me. “So, Reece knows who you are?”

“He does now. Ian is a private investigator and Casen had him looking for Annie. I don’t know why but, when Ian found out who I really was, he talked to Reece. He told Reece that I better tell Casen before he gets all of the information, tomorrow, in the mail.”

“Is that what last night was about?” She seems almost relieved that she now knows the answer. “Why the two of you acted so weird?

“Reece confronted me. Told me about Ian’s findings and he apologized.” I smile, happy to have received the first apology since it all happened. I look to Trinity who has her head down. “I thought long and hard on it last night, and I forgive him.”

“Thank you for telling me, Em.” She wraps her arms around my shoulders and brings me in for a side hug. “Do you want me to come with you to tell Casen?”

I shake my head no. “I have to do this myself. I know what they did was wrong, but I wasn’t in the right, either. I have to face up to my misdoings.”

“I’m here, if you need me.”

I sniffle. “I just want to make sure you don’t hate me.”

“Em, I couldn’t hate you. You’re a woman scorned. I told you it would break down a tough man. What you went through was horrific, but I do believe you have to make this right.”

I agree. “I know. I’m going to, tonight.”

Trinity and I eat lunch before she has to leave for work. I’m barely touching my food. We talk more in depth about my life in and after high school and I tell her about Thad and Evan. She doesn’t look at me like I’m a terrible person, and I need that. I need someone to be there for me should I lose Casen. Lose it all.

“Can I ask you something?”

She hums a yes.

“Does what I told to you change the way you feel about Reece?”

She sighs, taking a big sip of her tea. “I’m a big believer that the past is in the past. Do you truly believe that Reece is sorry for what he did and forgive him?”

“I do now. I wasn’t so sure until last night. I know he’s torn up that Casen is going to be hurt but he looked remorseful. I believed him when he said he was sorry.”

“Then, I think this won’t affect my decision to date him or not. I like him but if you want me to drop him, I’ll do it in a heartbeat.”

I laugh. The first laugh in almost twenty-four hours. “Thank you, but it’s not necessary.”

She grins at me. “You’re welcome. You know I love you, right?”

I smile back at her. “So much you would move back in with me to a new place?”

“As soon as my sister gets back on her feet, I’m all yours again. Unless you move in with Casen.” She wiggles her brows but it doesn’t make me feel any better. She notices. “Oh, Em. I’m sorry. He’ll forgive you. He has to.”

“I hope so.”

“If he loves you as much as he says he does, then he will listen and he will let it go. Just be honest with everything you tell him.”

We leave the restaurant. She goes to work and I’m headed back to the city.

The traffic is terrible, due to an accident, and I don’t get back until after four o’clock.

I decide to go for a run to release some of the anxiety I have over what I am going to do today. After a long hot shower I pull out my phone. My fingers tremble as I type.

Me:
Can I come over?

Casen:
Can you give me an hour. I’ve been out most of the day and I have to pick up my laundry from the station; I forgot yesterday.

Me:
Sure. See you soon.

Casen:
I love you.

Me:
Me too.

I can’t bring myself to say the words back. Not until he knows the full truth. Reece is right. This could break him as much as they broke me. Why could I ever think that doing this would make me feel good? That the evil I was doing in their lives could make my life better?

If I’m honest with myself, while I was doing it, it did feel good for them to get what I believed was coming to them. But, like Reece, I don’t know if they have changed. I never gave them the opportunity to tell me if they regret it like both Reece and Casen do. I could have walked into their jobs, demanded to get an explanation and the worst they could have done to me was kick me out. How different would today be if, when I saw Casen at the bar, I reminded him of who I was, and went on with my life. You grow up hearing that two wrongs don’t make a right; I should have listened. I no longer feel good about anything that I have done.

I pull up to Casen’s building and shut the car off, taking a few moments to compose myself before I get out. The elevator ride to his floor seems torturous, and I use the mirror to take a good look at myself. I barely put any make up on, so the dark circles under my eyes are prominent. My lips look chapped and my damp hair sits just on top of my head. I didn’t want to wear a skirt or dress, so Casen doesn’t immediately start to ravish me before I can get a word out. My jeans are snug over my legs, flip flops in place, and a modest purple top. I don’t usually dress myself down when I go anywhere, but I want Casen to focus on what I have to say and not what I am wearing.

The elevator chimes, alerting me that I have arrived at his floor and I slowly exit into the hallway. My feet feel as though I am wearing concrete shoes. Each step is heavy and it seems my stomach feels the same. Dread consumes me, and I feel as though I am swallowing large lumps in my throat. I’m more than nervous. I’m anxious, panicked, and uneasy. I try to tell myself that the worst that can happen is that Casen tells me he never wants to see me again, and then I feel nauseous because the worst that could happen is that Casen never wants to see me again. I’ll be devastated.

I get to his door and, after a deep breath, I knock.