Seven Days (11 page)

The Maynard-Todd rehearsal dinner was held in a reserved
private room at the Adam's Mark Hotel on the border of the city and the county.
Rather than just have the wedding party and family at the dinner, the couple
had also included out-of-town guests and extended family, so there was a good
amount of people milling around when Carolyn and Luke arrived.

Luke had followed behind his sister as they trailed the
others from the church and by the time they entered the hall, Rhys, as a good
best man, was already working the room with natural ease. Following suit, Milan
and Julian, an inseparable pair, mingled with their guests and laughed at the
good-natured ribbing of leaving their single days behind.

As Julian never left Milan's side, so Carolyn never left
Luke's. Though Rhys was the brother Carolyn turned to for advice and approval,
in times of emotional turmoil, she always gravitated to Luke. He sensed that she
needed him tonight, though he was not sure why, and he was a stalwart support
for her.

The room was set up with round tables and the guests
could choose their own seating. At the far end of the room, a long buffet table
of food was available, complete with a line of hungry guests working their way
down the table from rolls to pastries.

“Ready to get some grub?” he asked Carolyn.

Luke and Carolyn filled their plates then joined a
half-filled table. Rhys was seated with Sabrina and the guests of honor. Cera
had to work but would be at the wedding tomorrow.

At first, Luke thought it was Rhys that drew Carolyn’s
attention to the main table, but he noticed that every time Julian looked their
way, she quickly looked away, picked at her food and then peeked back at the
head table. He understood the impulse.

Milan was more beautiful tonight than he’d ever seen her
and he had a hard time looking away. At the church earlier he’d resigned
himself once again to the fact that his daydreams of late would have to come to
an end. He could no longer allow himself to look at Milan with a glimmer of
hope. He had been wrong to allow himself to cultivate feelings for her, though
he couldn't help himself. The events of the past seven days had led him to
fantasize about an alternate future. One where he was the man that made Milan's
dreams come true.

Seeing her together with Julian today had shattered those
crystalline dreams. Milan was glowing with happiness about her pending wedding
and Julian was so attentive—almost possessive—it was as if he could see no one
but Milan.

They were a beautiful couple and whatever silly notions
he’d entertained this week about Julian’s childhood crush on his sister opening
the door for a union with Milan would have to be put to bed.

“Luke!” there was a plea in Carolyn’s voice that pulled
him from his thoughts.

“Yes?” he said and caught the tail end of another furtive
exchange between Carolyn and Julian.

She struggled with her words and then finally asked him
to pass the salt. He handed her the crystal dispenser and put his arms around
her shoulders for a quick squeeze. She sprinkled the white crystals liberally
on her chicken.

“Why don't you try my salmon,” he offered, switching
plates. He watched Carolyn pick at a piece of the fish with her fork. “What’s
the matter?  Did something happen with you and Jules? He keeps looking
over here.”

She glanced at his table as if she was just now noticing
Julian’s presence. “No. Why do you ask?” she narrowed her eyes at him, “Did he
say something?”

She was a little wild-eyed, but aside from that she
looked normal, except that her regularly ponytailed hair was swept up into a
fancy swirled style and she was wearing makeup and a dress. “I’m just making
sure you’re okay.”

Her faced relaxed and the salmon suddenly seemed more
interesting. She forked a piece into her mouth and reached for her wine glass.
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

Carolyn could have been chewing paper for all she knew.
She took another bite of Luke’s fish and tasted nothing. It was hard to focus
on food when she could barely string together a coherent sentence. In her mind
she was back in the church and Julian was sliding his ring on her finger. He’d
all but said the words “I love you”.

Under the table, she fingered the ring, which was still
in her possession. It was too big so she held her hand closed to keep it from
falling off. She’d have to give it back, of course, but for now it was the one
thing keeping her grounded.

Of course she’d misinterpreted things. That’s what her
mind kept telling her. She’d misread what was in his eyes. She also knew she
was lying to herself because she’d seen the message before. Julian had been
telling her all week how he felt and she’d been doing her best to ignore it.

How could she not? He was getting married, everything was
all set, people had come into town for the event, the caterers had been paid,
Milan’s gown was ready. Things had gone too far to even entertain the idea of
not proceeding. Was that what she wanted? Did she want Julian?

Carolyn couldn’t keep from looking his way. She’d felt
his eyes on her all night and the pull was hard to resist. This time she didn’t
look away from the man she had known all of her life. Something had changed
between them; at least she could admit that. Just when it had happened she was
not sure. Maybe she had known it after Rhys had left and Julian became her
running partner. Maybe it was before. Maybe it was last night. It didn’t
matter.

The guests in the room started to hush as
shhs
floated through the air. Milan nudged Julian and he stood up drawing the
attention of all the guests.

“Hi everyone. Milan and I just wanted to thank each and
every one of you for taking the time to come and celebrate with us as we are
about to take this step into marriage together,” Julian said. Milan had
remained seated and he rested his hand on her shoulder. “We're honored and so
privileged that you all felt this occasion was special enough to bless us with
your presence. You all mean so much to us both and we didn't want this
wonderful night to get away from us without expressing our love and thanks to
you all.” Milan handed him a glass and they both raised a toast to their
guests, “To you.”

The room applauded and joined in the toast. Carolyn
twisted the stem of her glass with her left hand then raised it high along with
everyone else.

So much of life is timing. Theirs was off and they would
have to live with that. She sipped heartily as Julian’s attention shifted back
to her. His ring was heavy on her finger. She took if off and dropped it in her
purse while he watched.

Dessert was the perfect opportunity for Julian to get
away. It was the first time that evening that he and Milan had separated.
Always one to enjoy being the center of attention, Milan walked the room
sharing precious moments with all the guests. Julian took the occasion to step
out. Alone on the balcony, the drizzle from earlier had turned into a steady
rain, but Julian didn't seem to notice the bad weather.

All evening he had been working. He had sat next to Milan
smiling and joking and feeling like a complete hypocrite because he was
determined not to reveal to anyone that his mind had been full of Carolyn.
Every time she moved he was aware of it. Every breath she took, every glance
she didn't turn his way, he was aware of it all. And when she did look his
way...

His speech had been the last straw. He felt like a fraud
and he had to get out of that room because there was only one conclusion that was
clear, if not easy—he couldn’t marry Milan. Having admitted the truth, Rhys'
words came tumbling back at him.

It's too late
.

“Jules, there you are!” Rhys didn’t hesitate at the rain.
“Your wife-to-be sent me in search of—” Rhys stopped short when he saw the
anguish in Julian’s face. “What's wrong? What's happened?”

Julian just shook his head saying nothing until Rhys
prodded him again. “I can't do it.”

Rhys glanced over the balcony at the city beyond and
stepped closer, “You can't do what, Jules?”

Admitting the truth to yourself is different from sharing
it with another. It’s not quite real until someone else knows. Julian could
still go through with the wedding and no one would know how close he had come
to walking away. He thought about lying to his best friend, but it was too late
already, Rhys knew him too well. “I can't marry Milan.”

“Julian.” There was warning in Rhys’ voice.

“I can't do it, Rhys,” Julian stopped and looked him dead
in the eye. He saw the silent plea not to say it. He saw the shock at the
implications his words would have. “I'm in love with your sister.”

Like a flip-book the expressions on Rhys’s face
transformed from disbelief to disappointment to concern to resignation.

“I'm in love with Carolyn,” Julian declared. “I've loved
her forever and I can't stop. I just do and...I can’t go ahead with this
marriage to Milan when all I want is Carolyn!” Julian's control slipped the
more he spoke and words continued to tumble out so fast he almost didn’t know
what he was saying.

“What do I do? I don't know what I'm going to do. Rhys
you've got to help me. I'm gonna break Milan's heart. She's gonna to hate me.”

The significance of what he was saying finally hit him.
How could he stop the wedding at this late date? How could he explain to Milan?
What about Carolyn? He thought he knew, but he wasn't one-hundred percent sure
how she felt about him.

He didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't know where
to go next but he had an overwhelming need to be as far away from that
guest-filled room of well-wishers as possible.

“I can’t just leave. But I can’t go back in there. Oh my
God! Am I really going to leave my fiancée the night before our wedding? Rhys,
you gotta help me. What am I going to do?”

Julian had been standing in the rain long enough to get soaked
through. Warm tears mingled with the cool rain and flowed down his face. He had
always been able to handle whatever was thrown at him. But this problem was of
his making and he was at a loss. Rhys was his only hope.

“I messed up,” he said quietly, “Why didn't I stop
myself?”

“Listen, you can't beat yourself up. If you are unsure
about getting married now—on the night before your wedding—then you shouldn't
be getting married. You are stopping yourself from making a huge mistake.” Rhys
gripped him on both shoulders and made Julian face him. “Are you sure this just
isn't jitters?”

Julian shook his head without hesitation.

 “Alright, I had to ask. Come on, let's go”

“I can't go back in there.”

“We're not. I'm getting you out of here. Your cast is
getting wet, man. Trust me.” Rhys led him towards the door to the stairwell,
looking around to make sure no one saw them. “You need to be sure about this,
Jules. So, if you are, you've got to break things off with Milan right now. You
cannot let her—man, she deserves better than this.”

“I know, but how do I tell her, what do I say?”

Rhys thought for a moment then offered a simple answer,
“The truth.”

Dancing with Milan was bittersweet for Luke. He was so happy
to have her in his arms even though he knew it was the last time he would ever
hold her as an unmarried woman. She’d been gazing over his shoulder, scanning
the room while they moved, but when the song wound down she focused on him.

“I guess I should share you with the rest of the room,” he
said and reached into his pocket to retrieve his vibrating phone as she stepped
out of his arms. He watched her move on to share a moment with another guest
then glanced down at an urgent text message from Rhys. Wondering why he was
needed right away in Rhys' room, Luke started to call but then decided to just
go. He would find out what was up soon enough.

He entered the room completely unprepared for what he saw.
Julian was sitting on the bed leaning forward on his knees, soaking wet and
looking as if he had been beaten up. Behind him, Rhys, rumpled and damp, paced
the short distance between the bed and the window. Luke was instantly worried.

“What's going on?”

Rhys stopped pacing but Julian didn’t look up. There was
something in the air that told Luke whatever this was, it was bad, and he
started running through possibilities in his head. Death? No, he’d just left
everyone he cared about hale and hearty downstairs. Injury? Julian’s leg aside,
everyone in the room seemed fine. Accident? That was the last category that
could apply.

“Julian?”

The man looked wrecked and Luke felt his chest tighten
when he saw evidence of tears on his friend’s face.

“You've known me a long time, Luke. You and Rhys and Carolyn
are the oldest friends I have. You know me better than anyone and you know that
I would never, ever deliberately hurt anyone, especially not someone I love.”

Luke shot a glance at Rhys, unnerved by Julian’s words.

“You know that don't you?” Julian asked, insistent. Luke
nodded yes.

“I’ve done a lot of thinking this past week and I finally
made myself face some things that I had been denying and hiding from others for
years. Funny thing is, I know now that I wasn’t really hiding anything,” Julian
exchanged a long look with Rhys.

“I realize that you both probably know how I really feel
about your sister.”

And there it was. That tightening that had started in
Luke’s chest solidified into a pit and dropped into his stomach. Every part of
his body strained towards Julian as he listened for the revelation he knew was
coming.

“I don't know why we've never addressed this or why I've
never done anything about it, but as this week has played out, I found that I
can't hide from my feelings anymore. All these excuses I've made to myself over
the years...they don't hold up.  I need to stop hiding. I can't keep
avoiding the fact that I've been in love with Carolyn James from almost the
first time I laid eyes on her all those years ago and it's a feeling I’ve 
never been able to shake.

“I've been such a fool convincing myself that this
marriage was what I wanted, that it was good for me, right for me. I never even
gave myself a chance with Carolyn and I realize that I can't not do that. I
can't take this step into marriage with someone else without even having tried
with her. I'd regret it forever, and it would be most unfair to Milan who
deserves so much better than the sloppy seconds I'm offering her.”

Luke had always been an empathetic person and as Julian
spoke he understood every word the man said. Since they were kids, he and Rhys
had suspected that Julian had special feelings for Carolyn. But nothing had
ever come of it. Julian had never said anything to them and acted as if Carolyn
was just another of his close friends. But there had been moments...

So, Luke understood Julian’s internal struggle. It was
decision time and it was natural to reexamine choices. Luke’s empathy, however,
turned to anger as he listened to Julian state that he needed to give his
sister
a try
just in case he was choosing the wrong woman.

“Whenever I was with Milan this week, I felt like a
phony,” Julian continued explaining and the pain in his face was genuine, “like
I was lying to her, and in a way I have been and it's time for that to stop.
Whether or not Carolyn will have me—and this isn't entirely about her, either—I
just know, I feel it in my bones that my path is not with Milan. I am going to
have to tell her, hours before we exchange vows, that there's not going to be a
wedding.”

Both brothers spoke at once, “What about Carolyn?” Rhys
asked.

“This is going to kill Milan,” Luke declared, the memory
of their dance still fresh. “How can you be so selfish?”

“I have to let Carolyn know how I feel. I have to risk
it.”

“And Milan?” Luke couldn't let it go, “You're going to
dump her a day before the wedding. How can you do that to her?”

“I don't want to hurt her, Luke! But I can't marry her.
We're not meant to be.”

“You're going to leave Milan and Carolyn's going to come
running into your arms because she's just been waiting all these years for you
to declare your deep, abiding,
unspoken
love for her? Is that right?”

Julian raised his head, clearly surprised by Luke’s tone.
“No, I don't expect anything from Carolyn; I want her to know how I feel. I
want her to know the truth. I think that in her heart, Milan knows that we're
not meant to be.”

“You're a piece of work, Jules.”

“Luke, lay off him. Can't you see—”

“I can see fine, Rhys; I don't know why you can't. He's
been stringing Milan along from day one. Everyone in this room knows that Jules
has been into Carolyn for years, but has he ever done anything about it? No.
He's always left her there as if she were some fallback interest. A backup
while he played around and did whatever.

“Tell me this, Jules, why now? Why on the day before your
wedding is Carolyn all of a sudden the only woman for you? Why after all those
years with Milan did it never occur to you that you two weren't meant to be?”
Luke couldn’t understand why no one else in the room saw the absurdity of the
situation. “There were fittings, there were invitations and all this stuff that
you kept doing to prepare to marry Milan, and now is the time you choose to
break things off?”

“You're right about all but one thing. Yes, I should have
realized this sooner. I should have acted on my feelings for Carolyn sooner,
but I never ever considered her to be someone to get around to. I couldn't act
on my feelings because I never thought I was good enough for her.”

Luke had to walk away; he was getting so mad he couldn’t
look at Julian. “And what's changed now? Has she fallen from grace?” Luke asked
snidely.

Julian took a deep breath, “Not at all. I just realized
she's human too.”

“I wish you could hear yourself speak. All this crap
you’re spouting. You are messing with both of these women. I've seen how mixed
up Carolyn has been this past week. You don't see it, either of you, because
she comes to me with it,” Luke looked back and forth between Rhys and Julian.
“Rhys, she cares too much about what you think about her to come to you with
this, especially after the scene between you and him earlier this week.”

“What are you saying?” Rhys asked, but Luke was hot and
he continued laying into Julian.

“You have been wallowing in your own self-involved
world.  'What should I do? Which one do I want?'” he said in a bad
imitation of Julian, “while leading on Milan, who's ready to commit her whole
life to you in a few hours. You've had weeks and months and years even to figure
out something that everyone else has known for years. Now that it's crunch time
you decide to cut and run because, what was it you said, you've 'been a fool'?
Hell, yeah!”

“Yes, there's no excuse,” Julian admitted. “This is
monumentally bad timing I know, but this is where we are now and we have to
deal with it. I have to deal with it.”

“I'm not sure what it is Milan sees in you,” Luke said
looking at Julian as if for the first time, “but I certainly hope Carolyn is
smart enough not to fall for your so-called charm and see this for what it is.”

“And what is this Luke?” Julian shot back.

The sudden challenge in Julian’s tone sent a shockwave of
fury through Luke. How dare he act as if what he was about to do to Milan was
justifiable? Luke closed the gap between them in two steps, his approach so
menacing that Rhys rushed to get between them. He ignored his brother’s hand
pushing against his chest. If they were speaking truth now, then he’d say his
piece.

“This is Julian wanting something he can't have! The reason
you've never made a move on Carolyn is because you know she doesn't want you,
and you can't stand the thought of her saying ‘no’ to you. You can't stand the
thought of not getting what you want!”

Julian glared at him for a tense moment but said nothing.
When he looked away Luke pushed Rhys’ hand aside.

“Milan deserves better and I really thought you were a
better man than this to treat her this way.” Luke headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” Rhys asked, following him.

He resisted the urge to snap out a smart remark and took
a steadying breath before answering. Rhys wasn’t to blame for this. “I'm going
to find Carolyn and warn her to stay away from him and then I'm going to check
on Milan.”

“Luke, however you may feel about this, it's between
Milan and Julian. You stay out of this. He needs to tell her, not you. You hear
me?”

Everything inside him was crying to get to Milan and
protect her from this hurt, but he knew Rhys was right on this point. It wasn’t
his place to tell her. He would not be the one to break her heart today. He
gave his brother a hard nod, “I'm going to find Carolyn,” he turned to Julian,
“as for Milan, let her down easy at least. She loves you for whatever reason.”