Seven Days (8 page)

Milan was sitting in the dressing room waiting for the
attendant to bring her dress. She daydreamed about the wedding and how
everything was going to be perfect.

Last night had put all her fears to rest. Spending the
day with Carolyn had ironically put Milan's mind at ease, especially after
spending the evening with Julian. He had been completely attentive to her last
night at the club. It had felt like old times.

She had been nervous when she arrived at the James' house
yesterday, especially walking into a room full of laughing people. Julian
seemed happy to see her though, and he had kept his arm around her the whole
night. He was quiet driving home, which was rare, but she found it reassuring.
They were comfortable together in companionable silence. There was no need for
words.

Now she was here at her final fitting for her wedding
dress. Tomorrow would be her last day of work before the wedding. She would
pick up the dress after work, get married in two days, and then she and Julian
would take off for their honeymoon in Hawaii and start their life together.

She didn’t want to wait. Not for any of it—what's taking
this girl so long with her dress? And where was her mother? She was 15 minutes
late already. Milan checked her watch again as the attendant swept into the
room hoisting a large garment bag. A tall girl followed behind.

“Sabrina, what are you doing here? Where's Mother?”

“Mum can't make it, but I'm here!” Milan's younger sister
gave Milan a quick hug. “This must be your dress. I can't wait to see it ‘Lan!'

“Then today is your lucky day.”

The attendant held the dress out splaying the skirt for
them to see, “All right Ms. Maynard, are you ready?”

 Milan put the dress on with a little help from the
attendant and waited in front of the mirror for the seamstress. Looking at her
reflection, she looked like a different woman. She felt regal and beautiful. It
was a strapless white gown embroidered with silver flowers on a fitted bodice,
which opened up to a full skirt of silk layers. The dress had a small train
designed to be pinned up for easier movement at the reception.

Sabrina fussed around her, smoothing out the train and
the veil. Milan watched her sister and wondered about her mother’s absence.

“So why couldn't Mother make it? You never said.”

“She had to work. Someone called in sick and they needed
her to cover or something like that.”

“I see,” was all Milan could get out. She had made this
appointment ages ago, giving her mother enough time to arrange her schedule to
be here. But of course there's nothing like the last minute
I'm-needed-somewhere-else excuse. It doesn't matter, Milan thought, she'll see
the dress at the wedding like everyone else. “Sabrina, would you please stop
fussing!”

“I'm sorry, it's just that you look so beautiful. The
dress is gorgeous, Milan. It really is.”

Milan looked at her sister, caught by her words. Sabrina
was sincere. At least someone is happy for me. Her sister's delight distracted
Milan from her disappointment at her mother's absence, and she was happy that
she had at least one person to share this time with. In the mirror she studied
her reflection and smiled, allowing herself to enjoy the moment.

“You know, you're right. I do make a beautiful bride!”
The two sisters giggled at Milan's declaration. “I'm glad you're here honey,
thanks for coming.” Giving into an unusual impulse, Milan hugged her sister and
then sent her off to get the seamstress.

Julian’s first job out of culinary school was the same
one he still had. Only now he was about to become the boss. Greg—who was about
to retire—had hired him and mentored him. And now he was handing the reins over
to him. A few months ago Greg had approached Julian about buying the
restaurant. It was a great opportunity that had come at the right time.

Julian had been getting antsy. His dream had always been
to have his own restaurant, but he loved working for Greg and had learned so
much from him. He had been thinking of moving on to another place to spread his
wings, but he was reluctant to leave the place that had groomed him. Plus, he
was getting married soon; he knew he would need to move to the next level.
Buying the restaurant from Greg was a solid move for his future, and it
accomplished both goals.

Today the only thing that lay between him and his goals
was a pile of papers that needed signing. So, while Milan was at her fitting,
Julian was sitting in his favorite booth in the restaurant meeting with his now
old boss.

On the verge of making his dreams reality, Julian
hesitated. His hand hovered over the last paper that needed his signature. The
restaurant business was risky and even though he was getting a great deal on
the place, he was putting up most of his savings to buy it. This was a huge
step—a moment he wanted to appreciate as it signaled the start of a new phase
of his life—but he couldn’t focus on it. His mind kept returning to the events
of last night when he’d kissed Carolyn and possibly ruined his friendship with
Rhys.

That conflict had been the only thing on his mind since
it happened. Amazingly, Milan hadn't seemed to notice his foul mood on the
drive home last night, though he’d barely said a word. She still had no idea
that his world had turned upside-down. He had to make things right.

The page in front of him came back into focus and he
dropped his hand and scribbled his name.

 “Julian,” Greg's voice pulled him from his
thoughts, “It's been a pleasure doing business with you. You take care of my
baby now, you hear?” Greg extended his hand.

“I will, Sir. Thank you so much for offering her to me. I
will love her as much as you have.”

“I know you will.” Greg handed him the keys, picked up
his briefcase and walked out of the restaurant he had built from the ground up,
leaving Julian alone with his future in his hands.

It was a moment he’d worked toward his whole professional
life and he couldn't enjoy it. He grabbed his keys, locked up and left.

***

No one was home when he got to the James’ house. He
turned back onto Lincoln Drive and drove back into Center City. Man, he’d been
on this road so many times in the last few days he could drive it in his sleep.
He practically was doing so now, lost as he was in his thoughts.

Normally, he would just let things work themselves out.
That was his way. Time was good for fixing everything, which worked out well
for him since he didn't like conflict and avoided confrontation if he could.
This thing with Carolyn and Rhys, however, couldn't wait. These relationships
were too important to him and he wouldn’t risk letting them slip away.

Approaching their favorite hangout downtown, he decided
to stop in and get a bite to eat since he’d missed lunch. Ragtag’s was slow at
this time of day, so when he entered he
immediately saw Rhys sitting at
the corner of the bar, his back to the door, watching the Phillies game.

“I should have known I'd find you here,” Julian said as
he sat down on the stool next to his lifelong friend. “You know how much gas I
just wasted driving around town trying to find you?”

Rhys spared a glance for Julian, but said nothing.

“I went by the house, but no one was home...and I kind of
just ended up here and there you are,” Julian paused. “Can I get you something?
You hungry?”

Nothing but the back of Rhys’ head.

Julian looked around searching for a bartender or a menu.
The silent treatment was making him anxious. Rhys wasn’t usually the quiet
type, so this was not good. Julian didn’t know what his friend was thinking,
which was strange because they had always been so close. There had never been a
time when they couldn't talk. “Rhys man, come on.”

Rhys turned around and pegged Julian with an intense
glare, “I promised my sister that I would talk to you so that you could explain
to me what it was that Cera and I walked in on last night. Do you think you can
do that? Do you have an explanation for me, Julian?”

He didn't. He didn't have one for himself. He had been up
half the night trying to figure it out. How do you explain that all at once the
laws of the universe aligned with the rhythm of your heart and provided a
moment in time where your most secret desires could be fulfilled? How could he
explain that a love he had denied himself for all these years would no longer
lie dormant? How could he explain to Rhys that he was in love with his sister,
yet promised to another? He couldn't.

“Mmm hmm. I was hoping you'd have more to say than that.
You see, Carolyn told me that I misunderstood what I saw, that it was an
accident, that you were having pre-wedding jitters. She had a whole lot to say
about it. The problem is that I think she believes what she's saying.”

“It was an accident.”

Rhys laughed, a short, hard bark of noise. “I know what
it was, Julian.”

“What do you know?” Julian shot back, “You don't know
anything.”

“I’m not an idiot, Jules. You and I both know the score.
There was no accident in that kiss! It's a wonder it's taken you this long to
admit it, but now is not the time to act on your feelings for Carolyn. It's too
late.”

Julian saw the truth in Rhys’ face. The man knew how he
felt about Carolyn. Deep down Julian wasn't surprised. Why had he ever thought
he could hide that from Rhys and Luke? He'd kept his feelings at bay for so
long that he'd almost convinced himself that he didn't want her, but his heart
knew better. He’d kissed her and she had responded. He had not been able to
think of much else since.

He dropped his head into his hands, supporting it with
the base of his palms. His fingers rubbed over the short kinks of his newly
barbered fade. “What am I going to do?” he groaned.

It was the most honest sound he’d uttered in a long time.
Admitting defeat, he looked to Rhys for guidance because he’d lost the battle
against his heart.

“You're going to marry Milan.”

Julian knew Rhys was right. There was no way he could not
marry Milan at this point. He couldn't do that do her. He loved her, too, but
in a different way than he loved Carolyn.

“I just wish I could be sure about Carolyn. If she hadn't
responded to me last night this would be so much easier. I just...I'd never
gotten any inclination from her before that she might even ever be interested.”

The anxious knot he’d carried within since last night
tightened in his gut, and suddenly it was so important for Julian to let Rhys
know that he had never and would never mistreat Carolyn.

“I never, ever was anything other than just...Julian with
her. You've got to believe me, man. I would never take advantage of our
friendship that way by making a move on her unless she wanted it. She was never
interested.”

Rhys took all this in, “I know you wouldn't, which is why
we trusted you with her, but whatever it is that you think has changed now, it
just doesn't matter,” he paused to emphasize his point. “Julian, it's too
late.”

Julian sat in his car in the James’ driveway. He had one
arm draped over the steering wheel and was tapping the ring on his finger
against the leather wrapping, trying to summon the resolve to go inside.

He knew he’d been avoiding Carolyn—and lucky for him he
had the excuses to do so. He’d spent the morning doing errands for the
restaurant. He and Milan had met with the agent to sign the insurance papers on
the business, and then they hurried off for an appointment with the contractors
he had hired to start renovations on the restaurant when they returned from
their honeymoon.

They separated so that Milan could go to her portrait
sitting with Luke—Julian’s appointment was later—and he took the time to finish
the arrangements for his wedding gift to her. He was renaming the restaurant
Milan’s and he’d ordered a new sign made. It was to be installed tomorrow. All
he’d have to do was make sure she didn’t go by the restaurant before Friday
evening. He planned to show her after the rehearsal dinner.

Rehearsal dinner. Wedding. There was definitely going to
be a wedding. Going ahead with the marriage was the best thing for everyone
involved. Even with Rhys being upset with him, Julian had managed to get sound
advice from his friend. No more wondering about the possibility of a life with
Carolyn. He had blown his chance with her long ago.

If he had asked her out years ago, he wouldn’t have been
wondering about alternative futures days before his wedding to another woman.
To Milan. He had to accept that he would never know if there would have been a
chance for him and Carolyn. It was a regret he would hold inside forever.

Julian checked his watch. One hour until his portrait
appointment. No time like the present.

Rhys was in the living room reading the paper when Julian
finally let himself in. A lifetime of welcome meant Julian hadn’t hesitated to
try the handle without ringing the bell first.

“Was wondering how long it would take you to come
inside.” Rhys folded his paper and rested it next to him on the sofa.

After a moment Julian followed suit. Was it only a few
days ago that he and Rhys had spent the morning watching cartoons together on
this very couch? Back then, he had been wondering about his relationship with
Milan. Now he was trying to maintain his with Carolyn.

 “So are we okay?” he couldn’t stand much more of
Rhys’ reticence, “Or do I need to ask Luke to be my Best Man?”

Rhys grinned finally, breaking the ice, “He may be more
pissed at you than I am!”

Julian cursed, then shook his head in disbelief,
“Really?”

Rhys’ sudden grin faded, “No, he’s fine.”

They both knew he was lying. Add another relationship to
his repair list.

“I think we’ll all find our way back home,” Rhys
continued.

“OK,” Julian nodded, “That’s good. Real good.” Julian
tapped his finger on the paper, which was opened to the want ads. “You looking
for a job?”

 “Hm?” Rhy’s eyes dropped to the paper. “Oh, no. I
just like to stay up to date on what’s out there,” Rhys stood up, slid the
folded paper out from under Julian’s hand, and tossed it into the recycling
bin. “I’m heading to Cera’s,” he gave Julian a knowing look. “She’s upstairs.
Finish this.”

“Okay, that’s it,” Luke straightened from his crouch
behind the tripod, “Julian will be here soon and you don’t want him to see you
in your gown, bad luck and all that.”

 Dutifully Milan hopped off her perch and, in a
bundle of white silk, went behind the screen to change. “I can’t wait to see
how these pictures turn out,” she said.

He listened to the sounds of material sliding over itself
and couldn’t stop himself from imagining what was happening just out of sight.
“The camera loves you. They’ll be great. I’m going to have to get more creative
with Julian.”

She was quiet and he started to reload his camera with
film. “I’ve got this great safari backdrop that I’m thinking of using. It has
water buffalo and elephants in it. It’s quite striking. I think it’s just the
thing to make Julian look good in comparison.”

 “Oh stop!” he heard the smile in her voice and he
was happy that he’d put it there.

“I know these will be great,” she emerged from the
changing area holding the garment bag so that it did not touch the floor. He
moved to take it from her and hung it on the rack. “I’ve seen the pictures in
your house. They’re beautiful. You took all of them, right?”

Luke nodded. The foyer in the house had become his first
gallery as he experimented with portrait photography in his younger days. The
walls were filled with framed and matted pictures of the people he loved. It
detailed his life and his journey as an artist as his skills and point of view
sharpened.

 “My dad gave me my first camera when I was a kid.
At first it was just a toy and the pictures reflected that, but when he showed me
how I could almost create a painting out of the surrounding environment, I
started to see things differently. The more I played with that point-and-shoot
camera, the more it helped me to see the world that, until then, I’d just been
walking through.”  He stopped talking, sure he was boring her, but she had
returned to the stool she’d been on earlier and was watching him with interest.
Milan was interested in him.

“I took that camera with me everywhere. It was my mom who
realized that it was more than a passing interest for me. She bought me a used
35 millimeter camera for my tenth birthday and enrolled me in a three-week
photography workshop at the art center. I still have that camera—somewhere,” he
smiled softly, almost forgetting she was in the room.

“So you fell in love with photography as a kid and
decided to become a professional. That’s pretty cool. I always loved fashion,
but my dream of becoming a designer did not quite work out for me the way
things did for you,” she smiled and crossed her legs.

Relaxed Milan was even more beautiful than usual. He
slipped behind the camera and snapped a few frames while she spoke.

“Working retail downtown in Philly is great, but
sometimes I think I should have followed Rhys to New York. I mean working at
Herald Square would be fantastic! Then I think my family is here, Julian is
here...and there are so many people in New York trying to get the same goal. At
least here the competition’s not so tough. I mean I made manager in no time at
all really.”

He’d kept shooting while she spoke, but she’d quieted and
he watched her for a moment without the lens between them.

“Sometimes home is good enough,” he said.

She nodded, “What about you?” she let her gaze take in
the studio, “Are you happy here, taking pictures of, what was it the other day?
A lamp?”

He looked down and fiddled with some knobs on the camera,
“It pays the bills. I really love portraiture. It’s what I want to do. I love
being able to capture and preserve moments in a person’s life. Time is always
moving forward and sometimes we aren’t present enough to see it as it’s passing
by. A photo gives you a way to travel back in time and revisit.

“You know, one of the things I regret most is that I
never photographed my parents. I mean, yes, I have snapshots that I’ve taken of
them, but once I’d decided on that specialty, I did not take the time to do a
real sitting with them before the accident that killed them. I’d always meant
to, I just figured I’d have time. The two people responsible for me being a
photographer are the ones who I never really used my talent on.”

It wasn’t like him to talk about himself, so Luke stopped
speaking, but the urge to share kept pressing him to finish. He pushed aside
the ghosts of his past that had filled the room.

“After they died, it was like I was either in the dark
room or out shooting. I found that I had this need to capture life and hold
onto it the only way I knew how. I’m not sure how much of the house you’ve
seen, but let’s say the foyer isn’t the only room covered in my work,” he
chuckled. “I guess I didn’t want to miss any more moments.”

The softness in her brown eyes would normally make him
itch to get back behind the camera and get it on film, but he had no urge to
put anything between them. He moved toward her and she reached for his hand. As
she squeezed his, the reality of her hand on his stung. This time with Milan
was something he knew he would treasure, but the truth was that he only got to
have it because she was planning to marry his friend. She wasn’t his. He had to
let this fantasy go.

“Your wedding is going to be beautiful, Milan,” he said
and let go of her hand. “And with all the weddings I’ve shot, I know that it’s
going to fly by and you are going to wonder where the day went. So before that
happens, I wanted to take these pictures of you and Jules as my gift to you. I
hope they truly capture a perfect time in both of your lives.”

Carolyn was sitting in the window seat when he came in.
By the way she sat up when she saw him, she must have assumed it was Rhys who
had knocked. “Jules, hi—”

She moved as if she was going to hug him but stopped
herself, so he pushed his hands into his pockets. “Hi. You got a minute?”

She nodded vigorously and invited him to the window seat
with the wave of her arm. It was a large window made all the more welcoming by
the tufted seat padding, plush pillows and a fuzzy throw blanket. Carolyn
curled her legs into a pretzel and tucked her feet under her knees. “How are
you?” she asked when he’d settled in beside her.

“Busy,” he said, releasing a deep breath. “I’ve been just
running since the last time I saw you.”

He wanted to shoot himself. He’d meant to ease into it.
Forcing himself to look her in the eye he continued, “Which is really why I’m
here.”

“Oh,” she said. “Oh, okay.”

He knew she was uncomfortable and trying her best to
appear otherwise. This whole thing was wrong on so many levels. Just a few
nights ago they’d been so at ease with each other. And then he had to ruin
everything.

“I’m sorry about Rhys—”

“I’m sorry about the other night—”

They’d stepped on each other’s words. And did it again.

“I’m sorry, you first.”

“Sorry, you go ahead,” Carolyn laughed, “Well this is
awkward.”

He smiled in agreement, “I wish it wasn’t. That’s why I’m
here. I’ve run out of excuses to keep avoiding you. And frankly, with the
rehearsal tomorrow, I’m running out of time, too. I just wanted to say I hope I
didn’t embarrass you the other night and I’m sorry for kissing you. It was
inappropriate.”

He watched her face, saw the question in it but he couldn’t
tell what she was thinking. Was she mad at him like her brothers or was that
something else he was seeing?

“I’m glad you came to see me,” she said. “You know, the
other day you said to me that you didn’t know how I could drive on Lincoln
Drive. I didn’t know how to explain it then but maybe I can now. I drive on
that road every day to go to and from work. There is another route I can take
and believe me, many times I wish I would.

“Yes, something horrible happened on it. My parents died
on that road and I think about it every time I take that curve. But I have to
do it. Life goes on and I can’t live it if I’m avoiding it. I’d be lying if I
said that what happened Monday hadn’t been on my mind,” she touched his thigh
and he focused on her hand. “It was nice—the part before Rhys and Cera joined
us. But Julian,” she hesitated and he raised his eyes to hers, “are you really
sorry about kissing me?”

He’d never wanted to die before. Just flat out keel over
dead. No, no, no! How had he managed to make her feel like that moment between
them was anything less than all he’d ever wanted?

He could tell her right now how he felt. She was asking
him for clarification, for truth.  Her eyes pleaded with him but if he
gave her truth, then he would end up hurting so many people. If he lied and
said he that he was sorry about kissing her, he’d hurt the one person in the
world that he most wanted to protect. There was nothing he could say that
wouldn’t cause damage.

“Wait, don’t answer that. I can’t even believe I just asked
you that,” uncurling her legs she pushed away from him, “Let’s just put this
all behind us. We’re good, right?”

He wanted to pull her back to him and kiss her again,
properly and without interruption this time. He wanted to tell her with his
kiss that they were fine and let her know everything he couldn’t tell her with
words.

“Julian, are we okay?” Carolyn’s voice wavered and that
was it for him. He pulled her close and cupped her face with both hands. He
would not leave this room without letting her know how he really felt. Once
resolved it was simple. The words were unnecessary because all the love in his
heart was shining through on his face.

She put her hands over his, holding them in place. Julian
leaned in and pressed his lips to her forehead.

“We’re good.”

He pulled back just as a tear slide down her cheek.
Having said all he needed to, he brushed it away with his thumb and left.

***

Julian hurried down the stairs and out of the house. He’d
stayed longer than he had intended—shared more, too. Now he was running late
for his appointment with Luke and Milan. He backed out of the driveway and
drove out of the neighborhood. If traffic cooperated he would just make it. He
turned onto Lincoln Drive and stepped on the gas.