Authors: Josie Leigh
Tags: #college age, #Travel, #dubious consent, #Romance, #drug use, #action, #new adult, #ptsd
“Yup,” he nodded, returning my grin.
“Good, then you should probably rest up,” I rolled over on my other side, facing the wall of the truck and giving him my back.
“Are you going to sleep?” he blurted out as he sat up above me, propped up on his elbow.
“Um, probably not, I don’t sleep often,” I acknowledged, looking up at his face hovering above me in the starlit darkness.
“I didn’t think you did,” he said, thoughtfully, as if he were trying to come to a decision. “I’m not going to sleep until you do,” he declared.
“You don’t have to do that,” I protested.
“Yes, I do. When you sleep, I’ll sleep,” he told me, a determined look already in place that let me know he was seriously going to try to stay awake as long as I did. I knew he wouldn’t be able to make it, but I let him have his impossible goal.
“Okay,” I approved, rolling onto my back yet again. “Then what do you want to talk about to help you stay awake?”
“How about you tell me why there is a fish hatchery in the first place? Don’t fish in Arizona breed like fish in other parts of the world?” he asked, jokingly. I was thankful for the fact that he wanted to lighten the mood after everything that had happened today.
“Perfect,” I laughed before I launched into the explanation. That topic led into others as we talked effortlessly, watching the moon travel across the sky.
I learned that Ryan was the only child of a Harvard English professor and a corporate attorney. He’d grown up with money and prestige, a concept that was completely foreign to me. His parents had high hopes that he would follow in family traditions and select a brass ring career. He told me that they’d been disappointed in his decision to join the Teach for America Corp after completing his undergraduate studies at Boston College the previous year. A shortage in good math and science teachers fueled his decision to go into teaching rather than applying for Masters Programs in research biology. He said that he’d had so much growing up that he wanted to experience the other side of life and help create new opportunities for the students he’d teach. I admired that.
Little did he know that he’d already changed my life in less than 72 hours. I would never be the same after our time together. As short as it would be in the grand scheme, I knew that my path six days from now would be brighter than I’d ever dreamed.
I wasn’t surprised in the least when I heard Ryan’s breathing become slow and steady about an hour before first light. He’d declared that he was more than capable of pulling an all-nighter with me, but quiet of the forest surrounding us, combined with the cool air and darkness proved too powerful for someone who didn’t have as much practice at staying awake as I did. Though, I could feel my body and mind trying to succumb to the peace and serenity the cool mountain air provided as I tried to concentrate on counting the stars above us.
The only thing I didn’t learn about Ryan was why he’d ended up in Arizona. Why he’d decided to pull up stakes in Boston and move just about as far away as he could get. I recognized in him the desire to run, but I didn’t know who or what was driving that force within him.
Warmth washed over me, coaxing me from a relaxed state I’d never experienced before. As awareness started to settle in, I found myself surrounded by the smell of Ryan, earthy and magnificent. I had to actively fight to not nuzzle in, but then I realized why.
My head was planted in the middle of Ryan’s chest, with my body curled into his. I knew he was already awake because I felt his hand slowly caressing my back. Had I been
sleeping
?
Jolting up, I looked down at Ryan, the arm that hadn’t been at my back was behind his head, one knee bent in relaxation. At my movement, his head cut to me and the curious look on his face let me know that I had to be giving him the crazy eyes.
“How did I—” I started before deciding to change tactics. “What time is it?” I asked, looking around at the tall pine trees that bordered our campsite. Clouds had moved in at some point, but I wasn’t paying much attention to them because I was still wondering how I’d ended up asleep. I usually had more control over myself than that. And more importantly, why I was waking up refreshed and not screaming.
“It’s just after 9,” he told me, moving to sit up next to me.
“Wow,” was all I could say as my jaw dropped. Internally, I calculated that I’d gotten, at least, four hours of uninterrupted sleep. That hadn’t happened in the last eight years, since I was fourteen, without fighting sleep for a minimum of forty-eight solid hours.
“So much for staying up all night, huh?” he remarked as if he had no clue that I was freaking out. Shaking my head several times, I tried to make sense of it all, but I couldn’t before I looked at the sky again. “Shit,” I mumbled. “If we don’t want to get drenched, we need to head out,” I said, folding up my sleeping bag before digging in yesterday’s purchases for the electric blue tarp we’d bought. “We probably need to tie this over the bed so we don’t end up with soggy sleeping bags and supplies,” I directed, prompting him into action, too. After everything was put away and tied down, we made it back into the cab of the truck just as the sky opened up on us. This was always the ‘danger’ of camping during Arizona’s monsoon season.
“So breakfast?” he suggested as he put the truck in gear and pulled out of the campgrounds and headed back toward Payson.
“Sure,” I granted before my thoughts started to wander again. I still needed to try to figure out what happened last night, to make sense of why I didn’t dream.
“Don’t over think it,” Ryan cautioned, obviously sensing my spiral. “Just be grateful for the rest and maybe we can use last night as an opportunity experiment on this trip?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, eying him, warily.
“Look, I can’t pretend that I know or understand why you can’t let yourself sleep. I only got a small glimpse into what happens to you when you try. I can’t to lie to you, either, and tell you that it didn’t look like you were about to have a repeat performance of yesterday,” he started, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. “But, this time, the second I heard you start to whimper, I pulled you close to me and just held you. Your entire body relaxed almost instantly and you just slept.”
“Ah, so you are trying to make me sleep dependent on you?” I snorted. “No, thanks.”
“I can think of worse things, especially if it means no nightmares for you, and an easing of the dark circles that seem to have taken up permanent residence under your eyes,” he pointed out with a shrug as if he weren’t asking for anything monumental.
“I—”
“Just try it, one more night,” he barreled through. “If it doesn’t work, I’ll drop it, okay?”
“Fine,” I sneered, deciding that I was sick of arguing. Reaching over, I flipped on the radio to end our conversation. Folding my arms over my chest, I leaned back in my seat and pouted like a petulant child all the way to Payson that I’d let him get his way. How did he get me to agree to things that I would normally walk away from? What powers did he have to disarm me so completely with little to no effort and how could I fight it?
**
“I told you, sis, I’m fine,” Britton assured me when I called her after we made it back into civilization later that afternoon. Sitting on the tailgate of Ryan’s pickup with my legs swinging below me, I waited for my clothes to dry in the summer sun. Because I had some time to kill, I decided to make the call I’d been scared of since we’d pulled out of the diner parking lot the previous morning.
“You still at Tildy’s?” I asked, watching Ryan walk my way, his gray t-shirt was off and tucked into the waistband of another pair of cargo shorts. Shirtless Ryan was a sight to behold! I waited for my sister to answer as I did a slow perusal of his immaculate chest. God, he looked like he’d been chiseled out of marble with the way his abs flexed with each breath. His stomach sported a V cut in his muscles, something I’d never seen on a man that wasn’t on television or in a magazine. I was used to meth rotted skinny bodies and pot-bellied old men. So, to say that Ryan’s body had me hoping and wishing I would get the chance to slowly explore every single divot and crease of him would be a massive understatement. If I hadn’t already been soaked from our dip, I would have formed a puddle just under where my ass sat at that moment.
After a tense morning in the truck, I loosened up a little after I had some coffee in me and pitched Ryan my idea for the day. The rain passed us by quickly and left nothing but perfect powder blue skies with puffy white clouds. I was glad we healed our little rift before heading to the Lava River Cave. The whole hike is dark and cold, which can seem rather intimate when trying to keep track of your travel partner. This is especially true when you find out your aforementioned travel partner only procured one flashlight. Spending the morning and early afternoon in close proximity, inhaling his delicious, but slightly dirty, earthy scent was starting to get to me.
“Did you hear me?” Britton asked, obviously impatient that I’d missed whatever she’d said.
“Yeah, yeah, um, just be careful, okay?” I responded, not wanting her to know I was distracted.
“Sure,” she said, carefully, like she’d expected a fight to win my agreement. Now, I knew that she’d said something fairly important while I’d been objectifying my travel partner. “How are things going?” she changed the subject again, a sing song quality lighting up her words.
“Good, we went to the Rim yesterday, hit the Lava Tubes in Flag today and now we are cooling off at Slide Rock,” I recounted. “I think we’ll stay in Jerome tonight and head home in the morning.”
“Don’t do that,” she said, quickly. “Take your time, head south, too. I mean, if you are having fun, no need to cut the trip short.”
“Oh—kay,” I elongated, knowing that she wanted me to stay gone for some reason. “Are you sure everything is okay?”
“Yes!” she yelled. “God, Carrie, I can take care of myself, you know? I mean, yeah, I get that you want to take care of me, that you are worried about me, but you need this. More than you know,” she pressed, her voice sounding almost pleaded.
“Fine, I’ll call you tomorrow,” I promised before ending the call and shifting my eyes back to the beautiful man lying on a large rock a few feet from his truck. “That’s probably a better idea,” I called, letting him know that I was through with my call.
“We need to find a place that has a real shower and not just add to our stink by swimming in creeks and streams,” he called back, patting the empty space on the rock beside him in invitation.
“Oh, we will,” I smirked before hoping off the tailgate and joining him. The heat from the rock as I lie down next to him searing through my cold, wet clothes felt incredible.
“I like the sound of that,” he looked over at me, desire burning bright in his amber eyes. “Does that mean we’ll be sharing this shower?”
“Down, boy,” I smacked his arm teasingly. “I was thinking we’d stay in Jerome tonight, maybe see if we can get a tour of the haunted hotel and try to commandeer a room for a few hours to clean up?”
“That sounds like a blast. We should just stay in the room overnight,” he said. “As much as I liked our outdoor adventure last night, I could go for having less mosquito bites tonight,” he shared, scratching at his ankle in emphasis.
“Um, I have to see how much mon-”
“You finish that sentence, I’m going to kick your ass,” he warned. “I invited you on this adventure, I’m paying for the room,” he laid out. “I let you buy breakfast this morning because you were all up in your head. That’s over now.”
“I—”
“No, Carrie,” he shut me down. “That’s over now,” he repeated, turning his head to catch my eyes, showing me the resolve in his stare.
“Fine,” I mumbled, breaking our connection and folded my arms over my chest again. It was becoming a familiar position in the presence of Ryan. He didn’t let me take control of everything like I was dying to. Some part of me had to recognize that this was something I needed because after pouting, I usually got over his desire to take charge where he could and accepted his decisions without another thought.
“Well, I think I’m dry enough to head out, how about you?” Ryan asked after a few minutes. “The sun looks like it’s getting ready to set and we should get to where we’re going, get settled and maybe find some dinner.”
“Sounds good to me,” I agreed, pushing myself up and dusting off my now only slightly damp clothes and following him back to his truck. After plugging our destination into his GPS, Ryan and I headed off toward our next stop.
I’d never been to Jerome, but had always wanted to go. I didn’t share this with him, though. I liked that he saw me as the “expert”. Though, the truth was now that we’d flown through the two places I’d been outside of the Valley since I was born, I was just as much a tourist in this trip as he was. I hoped he wouldn’t realize it as I guided him to the other places I’d always wanted to see in my home state.
As we drove through the mountains toward Jerome, the monsoon thunderheads that had moved out that afternoon returned with a vengeance. That was the usual patter, storms in the morning, storms in the evening but perfect, if not too humid, afternoons. The streaks of light in the distance provided an amazing show as we trekked toward our destination.