Severed Justice (Severed MC Book 3) (21 page)

It’s dark when I let myself into Emma’s apartment. Even if everything has gone to plan, I know it will be tomorrow before she gets back.

I shouldn’t have let her embark on this crazy scheme of hers on her own. But, she was so determined; nothing and no one could sway her from her path.

I sink into her sofa, guilt eating away at me.

I’m carrying a shit load of guilt around with me these days. Guilt that I’ve let Emma go in search of a madman, guilt that I didn’t rush into that cabin in time, guilt that I sat there in the shop whilst Danni died just feet away, guilt for not getting to Cassie quickly enough, and even more guilt that in my stupid ignorance I hadn’t realized she was still alive when I got there.

There’s so much guilt it feels like a fucking cancer, destroying me from the inside out.

I sit there in the darkness, alone.  I feel so fucking alone all the time now, even when I’m in a crowd of people.  Emma’s spent the last three months focused on revenge.  It’s the only thing that’s kept her going. It was the reason she needed to get out of bed on a morning.  I don’t have a focus, and I sure as shit don’t have a reason for getting out of bed anymore.

This is a dangerous time of night. The time between midnight and dawn.  It’s the time where I let the dark thoughts take over.  Would anyone miss me if I were gone? I really don’t think they would.  I think they’d be better off if I wasn’t here.  I’m just a dead weight now. 

I’ve lost weight. My jeans and shirt hang from my hollow frame.  I have no interest in eating. I’ve been keeping my own company most of the time.  Not that anyone’s really noticed; they’re all so busy living their own lives, as they should.

The last three months, hell, the last six months, have been the scariest that most of us have lived through.  We’ve been hunted, betrayed, and picked off, one by one.  I’m such a selfish prick I didn’t notice when my best friend was falling apart and turning into a rat.  How could I not see the hell that he was going through?  Perhaps though, he just learned to hide it well. A skill I’ve come to master myself of late.

I try to think of anyone who’d be better off with me in their life, and I’m sad to say that I can’t.  Sure, a few people would shed tears if I wasn’t around anymore, but they’d soon pick up and move on with their lives.  Angel has Eve and Elizabeth. Prez has Teresa, and they’re expecting a baby.  Emma’s going to move on with her own life once tonight’s over.  Come tomorrow, she won’t need me anymore.

I understand now what I have to do.  It’s like a fog has lifted, revealing the clear path lying ahead of me.

I turn the polished metal in my hands. Such a small thing, yet it can destroy so many lives.  Tonight though I’m going to use it to make other people’s lives better.  That’s got to be a good thing. Right?

I place the barrel of the gun in my mouth, closing my lips around it.  Am I supposed to say a prayer now? Make a peace with my God?

The problem is I no longer have faith.  How can you watch so many people you love die, and still have faith in a religion?

It’s selfish of me to do this here. It’s not fair on Emma. She’s tough though. She’ll handle it. She’ll get over it.

Spinning the barrel, I leave the decision to fate. Bracing myself, I pull the trigger.  The click of the gun masking the soft click of the door opening. 

Russian fucking roulette.  The pull of the trigger is the only noise the gun makes.  Fate has decided. She’s not done with me yet.

You may not realize this, but no book we write is written by us alone.  We may come up with the plot and place the words on the page, but we have an amazing team of beta readers who help us shape the final version.  Not that we take a blind bit of notice what they say unless they’re correcting our grammar or spelling of course.

What these amazing ladies do is react.  We feed them the story in dribs and drabs, they’re a bit like mushrooms, we keep them in the dark and feed them… well you get the idea.  And they never fail to react. This book especially prompted some very emotional outbursts, most of which can’t be shared in public for fear of offending those of a delicate disposition.

So to Angi, Clare (And her husband M), Emma, Elle, Nadia, Vickie, Ellen, Jane, Claire and Mel – we humbly salute you and thank you for putting up with us.

To our fantastic street teams who promote us for the love of it, thank you.

To the bloggers who share our teasers, review our books and bring you our new releases – we couldn’t do this without you.

And to the readers who enjoy our books – thank you for giving us a reason to keep doing what we love.

Rockstar Daddy (Decoy 1)

Rockstar's Girl (Decoy 2)

Rockstar's Angel (Decoy 3)

Rockstars Valentine (0.5)

Heat (Black Inferno 1)

Ignite (Black Inferno 2)

Strip Teaser (Naked Night’s 1)

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I'm a passionate reader, blogger, publisher, and author. I love nothing more than helping other Indie authors publish their books - be that reviewing, beta reading, formatting or proofreading.

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