Sex and the Citadel (48 page)

26
. Singerman, “The Negotiation of Waithood,” p. 72.

27
.
For more on youthful suggestions to make marriage more affordable, see Sieverding and Elbadawy, “Marriage and Family Formation,” pp. 128–29.

28
. For more on concerted efforts elsewhere in the region to get young people into marriage, see
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

29
. The UAE Marriage Fund and its many criteria are detailed at
www.zawaj.gov.ae/en
.

30
. Bristol-Rhys,
Emirati Women
, p. 80.

31
. Bristol-Rhys, “Weddings, Marriage and Money,” pp. 23–25.

32
. Abdulla and Ridge,
Where Are All the Men? Gender Participation and Higher Education in the United Arab Emirates
.

33
. Tadmouri et al., “Consanguinity and Reproductive Health Among Arabs.”

34
. United Arab Emirates National Bureau of Statistics,
Marriage Contracts and Divorce Certificates
.

35
. For more on the tensions over foreign spouses, particularly foreign husbands, across the Arab region, see
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

36
. Differences between Sunni and Shi’i Muslims over
mut‘a
marriage are discussed at
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

37
. For more on the practice of
mut’a
marriage in its Shi’i homeland of Iran, see Haeri,
Law of Desire: Temporary Marriage in Shi’i Iran
; and Mahdavi,
Passionate Uprisings: Iran’s Sexual Revolution
. For Lebanon, see Drieskens, “Changing Perceptions of Marriage in Contemporary Beirut.” For the UAE, see Hasso,
Consuming Desires: Family Crisis and the State in the Middle East
.

38
. For more on
‘urfi
marriage and its variations elsewhere in the Arab region, see
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

39
. El Tawila and Khadr,
Patterns of Marriage and Family Formation Among Youth in Egypt
, p. 88.

40
. Al-Kordy,
Al-Zawaj al-’Urfi fi al-Sirr
[Secret
‘urfi
marriage], p. 181.

41
. M. A. S. Abdel Haleem, personal communication, 2012.

42
. Hasso,
Consuming Desires
, pp. 1–2.

43
. Al-Sayed, “Mufti of Egypt: Misyar legally permissible and not an affront to women.” For more on
misyar
marriage in the Arab region, see Hasso,
Consuming Desires
.

44
. Population Council and IDSC,
Survey of Young People in Egypt
.

45
. The sexual problems of Moroccan wives, and their husbands, are discussed in Chabach,
Le Couple Arabe
[The Arab couple]. For more on emerging research on married women elsewhere in the Arab region, see
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

46
. Farah,
Marriage and Sexuality in Islam
, p. 106. For more on female sexual prerogative in the pre-Islamic period, the role of women in early Islamic society, and modern calls to revive some of these early features, see Al-Munajjid,
Al-Hayat al-Jinsiyya ‘ind al-’Arab
[The sexual life of the Arabs], pp. 15–25; Mernissi,
Beyond the Veil
, pp. 77–98; Ahmed,
Women and Gender in Islam
, pp. 41–63; and
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

47
. Daniel,
Islam and the West
, p. 93. For modern-day successors to this early Christian condemnation of Islamic sexual mores, see
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

48
. Elnashar et al., “Female Sexual Dysfunction in Lower Egypt.”

49
. Hassanin et al., “Prevalence and Characteristics of Female Sexual Dysfunction in a Sample of Women from Upper Egypt.”

50
.
For more on this line of argument, see El-Mouelhy, Fahmy, and Ragab,
Investigating Women’s Sexuality in Relation to Female Genital Mutilation in Egypt
, as detailed in chapter 3.

51
. Kotb, “Sexuality in Islam.” For more on Egyptian law on adultery, including the differing burdens of proof and penalties for husbands and wives, see Abu Komsan,
Egypt Violence Against Women Study: Violence Against Women and the Law
; and
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

52
. ‘Ali ibn Nasr al-Katib,
Encyclopedia of Pleasure
, p. 23. For an overview of the history of Arabic erotic literature, including a summary of the
Encyclopedia
, see Rowson, “Arabic: Middle Ages to Nineteenth Century.”

53
. Examples of such frank female advice can be found at
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

54
. Qur’an 12:23–34.

55
. ‘Ali ibn Nasr al-Katib,
Encyclopedia of Pleasure
, p. 245.

56
. For more on Arab women writers and their approach to sexuality, see
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

57
. Al-Nafzawi, “Al-Rawd al-’Atir” [The perfumed garden], p. 19.

58
. Haddad,
Invitation to a Secret Feast
, p. 13.

59
. Haddad,
I Killed Scheherezade
, pp. 33–34

60
. Ibid., pp. 73–74.

61
. Ibid., p. 74.

62
. Ibid., p. 88.

63
. Haddad,
Superman Is an Arab
, pp. 163–66.

64
. Haddad,
I Killed Scheherazade
, p. 43.

65
. For more on the appearance of sex toys in the history of Arabic erotic writing, see
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

66
. For more on sex during Ramadan, see Berrada et al., “Sexuality in the Month of Ramadan.”

67
. Tampon use remains rare in Egypt beyond a Westernized elite; its increase would be an interesting measure of socioeconomic change, though the United Nations might not be quite ready to use it as one of their standard indicators of “human development.” For more on tampons and menstrual hygiene in Egypt, see World Health Organization Task Force on Psychosocial Research on Family Planning, “A Cross-Cultural Study on Menstruation”; El-Gilany, Badawi, and El-Fedawy, “Menstrual Hygiene Among Adolescent Schoolgirls”; and Yosri,
Mother-Daughter Communication About Sexual and Reproductive Health Matters
.

68
. These and other fanciful creations are given their artistic due in Halasa and Salam,
The Secret Life of Syrian Lingerie
. For more on lingerie battles in Saudi Arabia, see
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

69
. Hull,
The Sheik
, p. 59. For more on the history of the desert romance, see Teo,
Desert Passion: Orientalism and Romance Novels
.

70
. Sellers, “Sheikh’s Honour,” p. 145.

71
. Taylor, “And You Can Be My Sheikh: Gender, Race and Orientalism in Contemporary Romance Novels,” pp. 1043–47.

72
. Kendrick,
Promised to the Sheikh
, p. 41.

73
. Sabiq,
Fiqh al-Sunna
[Jurisprudence for Sunni Muslims], p. 245. For more on the issue of anal sex at the time of the Prophet Muhammad, see
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

74
. ‘Ali ibn Nasr al-Katib,
Encyclopedia of Pleasure
, p. 240.

75
.
Qur’an 2:223.

76
. See Alami, “Le Comportement Sexuel de la Femme” [Female sexual behavior], p. 69; and Haffani and Troudi,
La Sexualité des Hommes Tunisiens
[Sexuality of Tunisian men].

77
. Ayman Zohry, personal communication, 2012.

78
. For more on tough times for foreign domestic workers across the Arab region, see Human Rights Watch,
Slow Reform: Protection of Migrant Domestic Workers
; and Jureidini,
Domestic Workers in the Middle East
.

79
. Qur’an 2:222.

80
. Ali,
Planning the Family in Egypt
, p. 130.

81
. Kotb, “Sexuality in Islam.”

82
. Al-Magribi,
A Jaunt in the Art of Coition
, p. 129.

83
. For two excellent examples of this emerging field, see Dialmy,
Vers une Nouvelle Masculinité au Maroc
[Toward a new masculinity in Morocco]; and In horn,
The New Arab Man
.

84
. El-Sakka, “Erectile Dysfunction in Arab Countries, Part I,” p. 1.

85
. Sengers,
Women and Demons: Cult Healing in Islamic Egypt
, p. 261.

86
. Badran et al., “Etiological Factors of Unconsummated Marriage”; and Shamloul, “Management of Honeymoon Impotence.”

87
. In the region, honeymoon impotence is not a uniquely Muslim phenomenon. For sexual stage fright among Orthodox Jews in Israel, see Shalev, Baum, and Itzhaki, “ ‘There’s a Man in My Bed.’ ”

88
. The Thursday night special is deeply rooted in Egyptian Islamic culture. According to sunna—the words and deeds of the Prophet Muhammad—believers should thoroughly cleanse their bodies after sex, a process called
tatahhur
. Sunna also obliges Muslims to perform
ghusl al-jumu’a—
a thorough wash before turning up to the mosque for Friday prayers. Ever-canny Egyptians developed the custom of having sex on a Thursday night, thereby combining two washes in one, a highly practical measure in places where bathing facilities are scarce. It is for this same reason that Thursday nights are a popular slot for weddings in Egypt.

89
. Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyah,
Medicine of the Prophet
. For more entertaining advice on how to maintain male prowess, see arguably the most famous book of Arabic erotica, al-Tifashi,
Ruju’ al-Shaykh ila Sibah
[The old man’s return to his youth].

90
. Qur’an 16:69.

91
. El-Zanaty and Way,
Egypt: Demographic and Health Survey 2008
, p. 68.

92
. Population Council and IDSC,
Survey of Young People in Egypt
. For more on shifting fertility in Egypt and the wider Arab world, see
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

93
. Inhorn, “Middle Eastern Masculinities in the Age of New Reproductive Technologies,” p. 166.

94
. For more on
Noor
-mania, and how Turkish soap operas are shaping women’s romantic expectations in the region, see Salamandra, “The Muhammad Effect: Media Panic, Melodrama, and the Arab Female Gaze.”

95
. Inhorn, “Masturbation, Semen Collection, and Men’s IVF Experiences,” p. 42.

96
. Qur’an 23:5–8.

97
. Musallam,
Sex and Society in Islam
, p. 33.

98
.
Inhorn, “Masturbation, Semen Collection, and Men’s IVF Experiences,” p. 41.

99
. Chebel,
Encyclopédie de l’Amour en Islam
[Encyclopedia of love in Islam], vol. 2, p. 85.

100
. For traditional methods of circumventing such restrictions, see
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

101
. The line taken by Shi’i authorities on assisted reproduction, and their own differences of opinion on this topic, are discussed in Inhorn, “Making Muslim Babies: IVF and Gamete Donation in Sunni versus Shi’a Islam”; and Clarke, “Kinship, Propriety and Assisted Reproduction in the Middle East.”

102
. For more facts and figures on domestic abuse, including sexual violence in Egypt and across the Arab region, see
www.sexandthecitadel.com
.

103
. These figures fall dramatically with wealth and education; for more details, see El-Zanaty and Way,
Egypt: Demographic and Health Survey 2008
, p. 43.

104
. Population Council and IDSC,
Survey of Young People in Egypt
.

105
. Qur’an 4:34.

106
. Alternative interpretations of this verse are discussed in Ammar, “Wife Battery in Islam.”

107
. For a thorough assessment of the strengths and weaknesses of Egypt’s response to domestic violence, see Said et al.,
Egypt Violence Against Women Study: Overview of Services on Violence Against Women
.

108
. Such trade-offs are explored in Yount, “Women’s Conformity as Resistance to Intimate Partner Violence.”

109
. In a number of countries across the Arab region, rape can be grounds for marriage, allowing assailants to escape criminal sanction if they marry their victims. In Morocco, the recent suicide of one such wife sparked a fierce debate around the practice, as well as raising broader questions about gender and sexuality in the country (Mamarbachi, “Moroccan Women Demand Reform After Rape Victim’s Suicide”).