Sex and the Widow Miles (The Women of Willow Bay) (15 page)

“
Sounds perfect, but…” Will’s serious expression sent a chill down my spine. “… um…we need to talk.”

What on earth did he need to talk to me about? Could he be done with me already? Surely he wouldn
’t have made a trip halfway across the country to tell me he no longer wanted me. A phone call would’ve taken care of that. Besides, last night, the passion in his eyes left no doubt about his feelings. No, it was something else, something he was worried about, something he knew I didn’t want hear.

Oh shit, he
’s going to tell me he’s serious. He’s going to ask me to move in with him.

My heart dropped to my
metaphorical socks.

“
Will…” I sat up and tucked the sheet around my naked body, trying to think of a way to tell him I wasn’t ever going to make another commitment, not after what the last one had gotten me.

Memories
had assaulted me most of the time I’d been with Kevin and Meg, watching the tender way my son took care of his wife and new child. Remembering Charlie’s caretaking of me when Kevin was born and then again with the twins had brought a sharp stab of pain, even as I rocked baby Eddie.

And it was all a lie.

No. No more marriage for me. I’d been a fool for too many years. All I wanted from now on were easy, fun, no-strings relationships. Marrying so young, I’d missed those. Friends with benefits sounded just about right.

“
Wait.” Will handed me a croissant on a napkin. “I have something I need to say, so eat and listen, okay?” Perched on the edge of the bed, he was obviously nervous, as he took a long pull of his coffee and shredded, rather than ate, his pastry.

I waited, nibbling on my croissant. Whatever it was, he was having a hard time getting started, and my heart sank even further. It couldn
’t be good news if he was having such difficulty spitting it out.

“
I did something you’re not going to like,” Will said at last and when he met my gaze, his blue eyes were dark with emotion.

“
What?”

“
I… I went into your laptop and read Charlie’s emails.”

“
You
what
?” I dropped the pastry next to my coffee on the nightstand. Anger boiled up. “What the hell, Will? When? You had no right to do that. I—”

“
Wait.” A jerk of his head indicated the laptop open on the table across the room, exactly where I’d left it several days earlier. “I did it just now. I was only going to check the Asian markets, honest. But, there it was, and I’ve been worrying about why you wanted to bring his laptop along after you told me to throw it out. I know you, Julie. You’re going to try to figure out who she is, aren’t you?” It all came out in one long breath.

“
So what if I—” I bit back the question before I said something I might regret—a rant was imminent. I was so pissed I wanted to smack him.

“
Will you just listen before you blow up, please?” Fists clenched, he gazed at me steadily.

Too late!

Through gritted teeth, I agreed with a short nod, but I was seeing red. I couldn’t imagine what possible explanation he could have for invading my privacy. Snooping into things that were absolutely none of his business.

“
I read them because I could tell you were curious about that woman, and I thought maybe I could figure out her identity. And if I found her and you knew more, you could sorta resolve things in your head.” When I didn’t respond, he went on. “I thought I could figure out what was going on.”

“
I fucking
know
what was going on.”

“
Listen!” Will’s voice hardened. “He was cheating on you, that’s a fact. But there’s more to this than simply Charlie’s being unfaithful.”

“
And how do you know that,
Dr. Phil?
”

He was getting irritated too, but I honestly didn
’t care. At the moment, I had no more use for Will Brody than I had for Charlie Miles. Was he trying to defend him?

Men suck
.

I was done.
I tossed the covers off, rose, and stalked around the bed to grab my robe off the floor next to Will’s big feet. When I’d tied the belt snug around my middle, he took my arm.

“
Come on. Sit and listen. Please.” The words were measured and quiet, his expression intent.

Against my better judgment, I agreed
and tossed myself down on the loveseat—no way was I going to sit on the bed next to him. I needed space. “Okay, I’m listening.”

“
First of all, I didn’t read
all
the emails, but it was obvious this woman wasn’t just his lover, she was his friend. And from what I could tell, they’d been friends for a very long time—years.”

“
Oh, great. So he was screwing around on me for
years
. There’s good news. Thanks for sharing.”

“
Julie, shut up. I’m trying to tell you—”

“
What?
Don’t tell me to shut up. You’re the one who’s out of line here, not me.”

He sat quietly for a few moments and then said,
“Please, listen.” His calm was more irritating than if he’d fought back.

I was mad—furious, actually—and about six seconds from kicking his ass over the balcony.
“Why? What does any of this have to do with
you
anyway?”

With a sigh, he rose and came to kneel next to me.
“Julie, you’re beautiful and warm and smart and full of life and goodness. But now there’s a dark angry place in you. You have every right. But if you don’t deal with it, it’s gonna grow into a twisted ugly thing, and eventually it could destroy all the joy in your life.”

Damn him.

He was right. He said exactly what I’d been thinking less than twelve hours earlier, but that didn’t assuage my anger. This was something
I
had to work out, and Will was getting too close. Charlie’s infidelity was something so personal I hadn’t even talked to Carrie about it yet.

“
This isn’t any of your business.” I bit my lower lip to keep the tears at bay. Crying was how I’d always handled anger.

Out of the blue, it occurred to me that Charlie had known that and used it to his own advantage too many times in our marriage.

Well, those days are over
.

This was a new Julie Miles—no tears. Pissed was pissed and I could rant or scream if I wanted to. Nobody was going to jolly or cajole me out of it, not even
a charmer like Will Brody. It didn’t matter what he had to say. “You should just stay out of it, Will.”

“
I can’t.” He peered down into my face. “I’m not defending him, but maybe you
do
need to find this woman. Learn the whole story. If you don’t deal with it and find a way to forgive him and let it go, you’ll never be open to loving again. You’ll carry that angry baggage around with you for the rest of your life and become one of those bitter old man-hating widows.” He made a sour face to demonstrate, but I wasn’t amused. “
We
can’t go anywhere until you finish all the crap with Charlie.”

“
We
?” Okay, so he’d found the one thing to say that stopped me cold. The anger suddenly dissolved into incredulity, and my heart started to pound. I stared into his eyes, dumbfounded.

“
Did you think I was kidding when I told you I’ve wanted you since the first time I met you?” he asked. “Baby, I was a goner from the moment you came down the hall in that stupid hat.” He gave me a smile that sent a spasm of sensation through me. “I think I might be falling in love with you, Julie.”

“
Will… I—”

“
Shh.” He touched my trembling lips with one finger. “You don’t have to say anything right now. As a matter of fact, I don’t want you to. I’m not asking you for anything, honest. Right now, I’m asking only one thing of you.” He paused, his eyes burning into mine. “If you have to do this search, don’t do it alone. Let me help you. Please?”

SIXTEEN

A small part of me was
still reluctant to dig into Charlie’s extramarital escapades. But once we got started, it seemed as if I was on a mission—unwilling to stop until I’d found out every available detail about EJT. Will had unpacked his iPad and was researching how to chase someone down using only an email address. We sat across from one another at the small table in the hotel room, both glued to our electronics. I’d calmed down a little in the shower. Although I still resented Will’s intrusion, he
was
only trying to help me, and I was clueless about how to find someone on the Internet.

His declaration earlier had set me back on my heels. Confused, flattered, and pissed—all at one time—I was a mass of emotional turmoil. We
’d skipped brunch and just nibbled on the croissants while we started our search. I wasn’t at all sure whether I really wanted anyone else on this journey or even what I intended to do with whatever we found. So instead of giving into the urge to scream or cry, I worked at remaining detached as I read the emails searching for clues. I pretended they were nothing more than a novel I’d picked up. It was the only way I could cope with the contents.

The notes were intimate, full of sensual innuendo and even outright hardcore, graphic sex. These two people were on fire for
each other and that was a fact.

But Will was right
; it wasn’t just about sex. They seemed to care a lot. The messages weren’t only about how much they missed being together and screwing each other’s brains out, although there was plenty of that. They were also in-depth descriptions of their everyday lives. Frequently, Charlie talked about me and the kids, but in a loving way, with no indication that he was unhappy with our marriage.

It was kinda weird. In one note, he
’d be writing about how much he wanted to be sucking EJT’s breasts, then in the next, he’d be telling her about a picnic and bonfire on the beach with the family. Sometimes the tone of the emails sounded as if he were writing to an old friend rather than a lover.

EJT
’s notes to Charlie were similar—an email full of hunger for him with explicit descriptions of how she wanted to pleasure him was followed by a note detailing a weekend spent camping at Yosemite with some guy named Peter. And I couldn’t figure out who the hell Peter was.
Husband? Son? Friend?
Whoever he was, Charlie obviously knew him because he asked about him once or twice with a chatty,
hey, how’s Peter doing?

Intrigued and fascinated in the same manner I
’d be mesmerized by some bizarre film noir, I kept reading the emails until I finished them all. Apparently, the two lovers had met a few times a year, but she never came to him. He always went to her, no doubt using the “medical conference” excuse to me. According to their notes, they sometimes talked on the phone, usually when Charlie was headed home late from the hospital, but basically, their relationship appeared to be confined to the few days a year they spent together.

The oddest thing was that they both seemed perfectly fine with the situation the way it was. Oh, there was sincere longing for one another, a lot of
I miss you
, and they both clearly looked forward to their trysts. But never in any email did they mention having a life together—almost as if they had an unspoken agreement
not
to discuss the possibility of leaving their spouses and families to run off and start a new life.

How
on earth does that work?

I didn
’t realize I’d said it aloud until Will looked up from his iPad. “How does what work?”

“
None of these emails talk about them leaving their families to be together.” I tapped one finger on the edge of the computer. “Don’t you think that’s weird?”

“
I think the whole damn thing is weird.” Will nodded and then gave me a hesitant smile. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

I wasn
’t sure whether I wanted him to, but he was already onboard. I’d granted him admission to this gig, and I believed him when he said he only wanted to help me. I didn’t imagine he was taking any kind of sick pleasure in Charlie’s fall from grace. I inclined my head slightly.

“
Did you ever suspect?”

“
No.” The word was out of my mouth before I even thought about it. I stretched, arching against the back of the chair and pressing my hands on the surface of the table. Rising slowly, I rolled my shoulders, trying to get the kinks out. “I didn’t. Honest. It never occurred to me one time that Charlie would cheat.”

Will simply shrugged, turning his eyes back to his iPad.

“What was
that
look for?”

“
What look?” He glanced up, all innocence.