Sex and Your Job Search 2013: A Guide to Scoring Your Dream Job (11 page)

BOOK: Sex and Your Job Search 2013: A Guide to Scoring Your Dream Job
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This letter was handwritten on wide-ruled grade school paper. It is best to end a cover letters with “Best regards,” “Sincerely,” or a similarly professional signature.

BACKGROUND CHECKS

Expect a company to run a background check on you, including searching for your name on the Internet. If asked, it is better to admit up-front that there may be an issue. For example, if you were convicted of stealing a police car in Las Vegas like in
The Hangover
, your potential employer would much rather check into this up-front than hire you and realize there is an issue and that you lied to them. Most applicants’ legal issues are looked at on a case-by-case basis.

If you say there is nothing in your criminal history and the employer finds a felony case where you were found guilty, it is easy to reject you based on “falsification of application.” If you lie to them, they can’t trust you. And you will most likely never work at their company. Ever.

I heard of a situation where a younger applicant admitted that he was driving a car that had weed in it. It was his car and one of his friends had weed on him. He was cited because it was his car. However, he had lived a clean life with no issues for three years. The HR manager called him in, talked with him, and then agreed to forward his application to the hiring manager. His interview went well and he was hired.

On the other hand, if an applicant has had two DUIs in one year or a recent DUI with an open case, that applicant should expect problems. As it relates to DUIs, employers look for applicants that have clean records for a few years or that the DUI case is closed. If the case is open and the applicant has not complied with the court’s terms, the applicant should expect problems. Even unpaid jaywalking and speeding tickets can turn into warrants for your arrest if they’re not paid. I’ve seen it many times.

Please picture me withdrawing your
dream
job offer the next time you want to drive drunk!

FUNNY THINGS NOT TO SAY
ABOUT YOUR CRIMINAL HISTORY

“Misdemeanor. Feeling up a police officer on a motorcycle.”

Wow, looks like someone likes to get “handsy.” This is an example of TMI (too much information).

“Police saw me tuck a package into my jacket. I told them it was a sandwich. They thought it was drugs. I let them look at it and they found a small bag of dope. And away I went.”

So, they
did
find drugs…

 

Voluntary Manslaughter:

An acquaintance who’s a HR rep told me the following story:
“An early-middle-aged man stopped by my office and asked to talk about his application. I went out to the lobby and I immediately noticed a hard face, as well as neck and hand tattoos. I sensed a tough life, but I looked him directly in the eye and asked: ‘How can I help you?’ I don’t discriminate, I just ask.
He said he applied for an entry-level position. I said I would check on his application, but asked about his previous work experience.
Me: ‘What have you been doing recently?’
Him: ‘I was a recreational facility employee for the past eight years.’
Good work history, I thought. Maybe. I looked at his application and saw he answered yes to the question of being convicted of a crime. I told him I needed to run a background check and asked him to check back in five to seven days. Which he did.
When he stopped by again, I asked what he thought I would find in the background check. He explained, ‘I was involved with the wrong crowd. I was into drugs and alcohol and I went to jail for voluntary manslaughter.’ I confirmed that was what I found.
I then explained that our organization has a policy against hiring anyone with a felony record and more specifically, anyone with a history of physical violence. I told him that I believed he was rehabbed and making positive steps, but that he would never work at our facility.
Without missing a beat and while tearing up, he said, ‘You’re the only person that has been honest with me during my application process. I appreciate it, man.’
I thanked him for checking in and wished him luck.”
 

The lessons for
you
are the following:

• If a convicted felon can get an audience with the person hiring for a job he wants so badly, so can you. Don’t give up!
• We see a lot of crazy things in our jobs as HR representatives. Seeing you a little nervous in a suit is not one of them. Relax and keep moving forward.

“Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
-Mark Twain

I wish every job seeker would dress like the professional looking characters on
Mad Men
and
Gossip Girl
. Because by doing so, they would demonstrate that they take themselves and the job interview seriously. They would also appear more confident, and everything they say would carry more weight. As a result, I could hire
them
and not waste my time interviewing anyone else.

This chapter is about presenting the best image you can in a physical way. More than dressing up, you will learn what to wear, what to take with you, and what
not
to eat before an interview, so you make the best impression and get your dream job.

GUIDELINES ON DRESSING UP

The clothes you wear to an interview are similar to those you would wear for an anniversary dinner or a special night out on the town. Let’s up the stakes a little.

Imagine for a minute that you’ve chartered a private jet and are flying to LA, New York, Miami, or Las Vegas for this event. Think about what you would wear on this dream date with that perfect person. Now, take that look and make it more professional, more office appropriate. For ladies this may mean showing a little less cleavage and skin. For men this means no tight-fitting pants that show off your backside or your man parts. For both it means hair and nails should be well groomed.

When you have your interview outfit picked out, ask someone how you look. The only appropriate response should be “highly employable.” If someone responds in a Borat-like voice and says, “Very nice, how much?” go back and change.

For the appropriate look:

• Think conservative
• Quality is important
• Make an investment if you can. After all, your dream company will invest thousands in hiring you.

An applicant I interviewed for a business internship once admitted to me that the suit he was wearing was the first suit he had ever bought. His previous work experience included being a surfing instructor and selling pottery. This type of work history was not typical for the college seniors we were interviewing. He knew this and wanted to put his best foot forward in order to get the job. He impressed me with his smarts, work ethic, and his professional appearance.

So, we hired him. He did so well as an intern that three years later he became one of the youngest managers in our company’s hundred-year history. Now, he is earning just shy of six figures. Think that suit paid off? Heck yeah it did! Even if he put that purchase on a credit card, it was worth it. Good clothes can have a fantastic snowball effect on your career.

MEN'S CLOTHES

According to Monster, CareerBuilder, and the
Wall Street Journal
, navy blue is the best suit color for men to wear at an interview. Navy blue inspires confidence, trust, and stability. Dark gray is the second-best color and suggests a refined and sophisticated look. Both solids and pinstripes are acceptable.

Try to emulate these
Mad Men
and
Gossip Girl
characters: Don Draper, Chuck Bass, Roger Sterling, Russell Thorpe, and Nate Archibald.

Avoid black suits if you can. Dull and boring is the subconscious message you will send.

Lighter-colored suits are only acceptable later on in the interview process and in the hot summer months. If you choose to go this route, stay away from the light-blue and orange suits Harry and Lloyd wore in
Dumb and Dumber
.

Both single-breasted and double-breasted suits are acceptable. The number of buttons on a suit does not matter. Quality and style do, meaning stay away from designs that were trendy in previous decades. Stick with timeless styles or what is currently in fashion. I recommend looking at industry publications to see what people are wearing in the pictures and dress similarly. Have the suit tailored and you will add essential style points.

Dress shirts should always be long sleeved and should be white or a light color. For those of you with long torsos like myself, check out Banana Republic Slim Fit wrinkle-free shirts. They are a blessing.

Shoes should be black leather or brown leather and in good condition.

A great tie has the power to upgrade your suit. It should complement the suit, but not dominate it. Solids, stripes, and simple patterns work well. Stay away from clip-ons, logos, cartoon characters, holiday themes, and polka dots. Also inappropriate are nautical-themed pashmina afghans like the one Andy Samberg wears in the “I’m on a Boat” video.

Socks should be the color of the suit, or darker. I don’t want to see skin if you cross your legs, so buy new ones with good elastic if you have to.

Your wristwatch should be simple, not sporty or cartoonish.

Belts should match or complement your shoes.

The rule of thumb is that a black belt goes with a blue or gray suit. A brown belt goes with brown or beige suits. Keep the belt simple. The focus should be on your face and the words you are saying.

A briefcase can also be taken to the interview as it makes a strong statement of professionalism.

Keep jewelry to a minimum. Wedding bands are fine. Wearing too much jewelry shows that you have money to spare and don’t need a job. Visible body piercings, other than a ear stud, can come across as defiant and send the wrong message.

Gents, here is a list of things you should never wear: sweat pants, T-shirts of any kind, sneakers, basketball jerseys, flip flops, sagging pants, sunglasses on your head, or tags on new clothing. Also, take off heavy outer clothing once you are indoors.

WOMEN'S CLOTHES

More than ever, women have better options for clothing and more room for creativity than men. They tend to have more color and style choices for the interview setting.

The best colors for women’s suits are varying shades of navy, blue, or gray. Both solids and pinstripes are acceptable. For some reason, experts agree that black is an appropriate interview suit color for women.

The material should be as wrinkle free as possible. Have the suit tailored and you will add essential style points.

Take your style cues from
Mad Men
and
Gossip Girl
characters Blair Waldorf, Serena van der Woodsen, Raina Thorpe, Peggy Olson, and Joan Harris (minus the cleavage-baring outfits).

It is recommended that you keep the length of your skirt or the fit of your pants conservative. Imitating Sharon Stone in
Basic Instinct
will not get you hired. Hiring managers want to focus on you, not on what you are wearing.

Tops should be long-sleeved to display a professional look. Please don’t go sleeveless. In this setting no one wants to see your bra straps or other undergarments. It’s not professional.

Shirt colors include white, beige, cream, and other lighter shades, including pink. Personally, I’m a fan of light blue because it is welcoming. Either a button-down collar or soft collar will work fine.

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