Sex and Your Job Search 2013: A Guide to Scoring Your Dream Job (32 page)

A friend of mine received a resume from a girl who had previously worked at his company. As per usual, he checked her old employee file before considering her for future employment.

Apparently, this girl had written the most scathing resignation letter that either of us had ever seen. She said to her boss, “I think you are a terrible person,” “you are a bad role model because you come in to work late and leave early,” and “you play favorites.”

This person did not hold back any grievance. Maybe she was
actually
speaking the truth. Who knows. But it doesn’t matter. There is no way in heck my friend would ever hire someone like this back. This girl clearly didn’t have the diplomacy and communication skills required by most positions and organizations. A person willing to vent and explode at any time is a danger to any business.

Moral of the story: Be careful what you say when you leave.

MULTIPLE O’s: JOB OFFERS, THAT IS

When you play the field, you tend to have more confidence and self-esteem. Getting attention from multiple people will most likely make you feel better than being preoccupied and feeling anxious over one particular person.

As I said earlier, seeking out as many interviews as you can produces the best end result and helps you refine your technique and stories. When you receive a job offer, you can contact each company you interviewed with to explain your situation.

Tell them that you received an offer from another organization and that you want to talk with them before making a decision. If they’re considering you for the position, they will ask to talk with you again either in person or over the phone. If not, you will know where you stand. Take it from there.

Success breeds success. People are attracted to what they can’t have or what they may lose. Use this to your advantage.

When you are presented with more than one offer (because you followed the advice in this book), make your decision based on what is most important to you. A list on a piece of paper or Excel spreadsheet of pros and cons should do the trick. Ask yourself who do you
really
want to work with? What’s the best personality match? What’s best for your career?

If you can’t decide, go with the decision that you would make if you had all the money in the world and do what your intuition tells you. Or as Napoleon Dynamite once said, “Follow your heart. That’s what I do.”

An intern at a large organization was interviewing for a position that HR had suggested to her. It was a high-profile executive assistant position. Unbeknownst to HR, she had also set up another interview for a project coordinator position in another department. Once HR made the job offer for the first position, the intern seemed excited but asked for a few days to think about it. When HR pressed for a decision the next week, she accepted and started the hiring process.

However, during the process, she scheduled her new-hire appointments ten days out. A little unusual, but not out of the ordinary for someone who recently graduated college and needed to get settled permanently. Two days before her new-hire appointment, she called her HR contact and explained that she received an offer for the project coordinator position, the job she preferred. The HR rep explained to me how torn this applicant was about declining the first offer and accepting her dream job.

Ultimately, she trusted her gut instinct and went for her dream job. Not only was she much happier, but later she found out that the original executive assistant position was eliminated after six months.

Go for your dream! You will make yourself and your company happier and more profitable. What else could you want besides inner peace and wealth? Numerous opportunities can present themselves to top candidates. I see it in my job frequently. The keys to the kingdom are in this book.

THEY'RE JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU:
DEALING WITH REJECTION

Sometimes the unthinkable happens, and you won’t be selected for a job. Maybe the interviewer thought there was a better prepared or more experienced candidate whose background was more closely aligned with the position. Whatever. Perhaps the HR person was up late with their child and didn’t get a chance to look at the second batch of resumes. Maybe in reality you were light on experience and skills, yet you were a top-three choice. For this you should congratulate yourself! Being a top candidate is truly a great accomplishment.

Even at this point, you can use rejection to your
benefit
. Follow the advice in this section and you will make the interviewer question why they didn’t select you.

1. Send a thank you note indicating that you understand the situation and reiterate that you aspire to work at their company. Ask them to keep you in mind for positions in the future. Then, keep looking at their website. If you are their number two or three candidate, you may get hired once another similar job becomes available.

2. Keep in touch with the people with whom you interviewed. Send them interesting articles about their industry and company with a short note every couple of months. You may want to call them once every six months to briefly check in with them about possible future openings. Let them know you are still interested in their company and the type of position you desire.

Don’t feel bad if you do not hear back from them. Remember the hot model analogy. Trust me, they’ve made a note that you called or emailed.

A friend of mine works at a large advertising agency. She was interviewing applicants for a senior account rep position and had to make a tough decision about who to hire. Unfortunately, an applicant named Bianca was her second choice.

Eight months later, a current employee resigned after having a child. Because Bianca kept in touch and gained valuable experience at her current employer, she was top of mind and a slam dunk once the job became open. Remember, hot model interviewers can be easy if you do the right things.

On a number of occasions, I have seen a number-two or -three candidate hired months or years after being initially rejected. Stay positive and keep in touch after the rejection. It shows maturity and that you can be professional in difficult circumstances.

Lastly, review the interview and hiring process and compare it to the advice given in this book. Was there anything that you could have done differently or where you could improve? What can you do in the short term to improve your candidacy in the future? Maybe get a few interview friends with benefits to practice telling your stories to in the B ME Outline.

With that said, keep looking for your dream job. Keep learning so you can improve your skills and your stories. Try for the dream job that is second, third, and fourth on your list.

Winston Churchill once said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.”

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
-Mark Twain

Some people are unbelievable. Like this college student who was applying for an entry-level job at a big organization in the Midwest. Initially he was being considered for the position and he even managed to score a phone interview.

However, for several reasons (a lack of technical skills and a cocky attitude) he wasn’t a top candidate. As a result, he was sent a cordial rejection letter.

Then he let loose. He sent an email explaining how his teachers and family will have a difficult time understanding why he didn’t get the job because they consider him a “wonderboy.”

Instead of sending a thank you note for being considered, he demanded a thorough explanation of why he wasn’t selected, so as to “protect the reputation of the organization that didn’t select him.” Seriously?!

This applicant did the opposite of what you should do if you are not selected for a position. If things go awry, try to figure out what happened and why. Ask for advice and if you can keep in touch. Adjust your actions next time. As most communication books suggest, please don’t criticize or complain.

Quick Tip:
Most employers keep an unofficial list of angry applicants and ex-employees. Keep this in mind as you try to gain some perspective on your rejection.

TRU WUV: FIRST STEPS AT YOUR NEW JOB

You may have noticed that I haven’t mentioned the word
marriage
in this book. That’s because there is no such thing when it comes to employment. There are short-term and long-term relationships. But no commitments.

People change and corporations change. Most of the time organizations have the upper hand and will consistently treat you like a hot model would. They like to keep their options open. Even if you own your own business, you work for your customers and they keep their options open as well.

Don’t get me wrong. There are good days, with recognition, praise, and bonuses. But you’re always a fling to an extent.

Live with this reality. Embrace it. Do good work. Improve a situation, make something better, and you will get noticed. Do the jobs no one wants and become an expert at them.

When you know the dynamics of the work relationship, you may also relax a little and not get so worked up about minor things. This is good for your mental and physical health. You can only do so much with your TIE Values, communicating, and politicking. The rest is luck and chemistry. For all relationships. Work and otherwise.

I recommend the three L’s when starting a new job: Look, Listen, and Learn. Talk to as many people as you can and take people out to lunch. Want to make someone’s day? Buy lunch for the receptionist who initially screened you. You will get more than an earful about the company. Introduce yourself. Ask other employees what they wish they had known when they started. Ask them what accomplishment they are most proud of. People love talking about themselves. Just listen and learn.

Once your time is up at your new job and you decide to make a change for the better, having done these things will allow you and your employer to say, “That was am-A-zing!”

Again I want to mention that if you are more of an introvert like me, read the book
How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
by Leil Lowndes. A brilliant book for small talk and big talk.

ADVICE FOR NEW GRADS

Some experienced professionals and baby boomers may be easily threatened by a young person’s energy and skills. Be aware of this dynamic going into a new job. Some will want to see you fail just to prove that you’re not perfect.

Be humble and work hard. If you come across as expecting to receive a parking spot or a bonus that a CEO would get, you will most have those expectations addressed. Sometimes in a not-so-nice way. Unless you can prove how you will double annual income at the company, present your ideas enthusiastically, but be open for feedback.

I’d recommend looking for good, seasoned veterans and offer to trade skills for corporate info and industry knowledge. Older workers don’t want to get fired and they want allies. Continue your education and growth in the workplace through shared knowledge.