Sex in the Sanctuary (23 page)

“But I am partly to blame.” Tai spoke softly but without sadness. Vivian was ready to interrupt, but Tai stopped her. “No, I am. Believe me, girl, being here has been good for me, away from him, away from the children. It’s given me time to think.

“King and I never really had time to ourselves. Michael was already on the way when we got married, and he was barely out of diapers when Princess came along. Almost immediately, my focus became the children and his became the church, and somewhere along the way, we lost focus of each other.

“There were definitely times when I could have been more of a wife to King. But then, after the affairs started, I became so resentful, so full of bitterness, that I stopped really trying. Part of me never really forgave him for the way he hurt me, the way he made me feel inadequate. And at the same time, I now realize that allowing him to make me feel inadequate was too much power to give any man.

“There were times I’d go for weeks without letting him touch me, especially after I found out his ass had been with
someone else. Oh, baby, the store would close up quick. And then I started making him wear a condom.”

“A condom, Tai?”

“Well, I didn’t know where his dick had been. I didn’t want to be sleeping with all the people he’d slept with and all the people they’d slept with.” Tai’s face had taken on a look of defiance.

Vivian hesitated. How could she really blame Tai for that? “I guess I can see where you’re coming from,” she began hesitantly. “But wow, Tai. I remember Derrick and me trying to use a condom one time, and we were both so frustrated, we quickly gave up that idea. Instead I got on the pill so—”

“It didn’t do much for our sex life either,” Tai interrupted. “And it would never last long. After a time or two he’d forget to put it on and I’d forget to ask him to. King has always satisfied me in bed, so it didn’t take much to make me forget.

“I’ve had time to really take a keen look back at how, when and why things changed in our marriage. I haven’t been a perfect wife, Viv—”

“Nobody is,” Vivian interjected.

Tai became quiet, taking in the ocean view. The gentle rhythm of the tide contrasted with the storm in her soul. “I talked to King before I left,” she said, still looking out the window. “Told him it was time to decide—her or me.”

Vivian studied her friend intently. “What did he say?”

Tai met Vivian’s eye. “Nothing.”

“Have you talked to him since?”

“Believe it or not, it seems like more now since I’ve been in L.A. than the last two months I’ve been home.”

“Maybe that’s a good sign.”

“It could be. We don’t discuss anything deep, the kids mostly and the church. The conversations don’t last long. No matter what he says, I’m sticking to my decision. It’s either April or our marriage. I’m serious. When I go back home,
either she goes or I do. And this time, it’s going to be for good. I’m going to get a divorce.”

Vivian paused as the waiter delivered their mouth-watering manicotti.

“I know that decision didn’t come easy,” she said as he walked away. “It’s a big step.”

“Yes, it is, and I’m ready to take it.”

“It will be tough on you, and tougher on the children.”

“They are what have made this decision so hard. But Michael and Princess know about their father’s indiscretions, have for years, and the twins aren’t stupid; they know King and I aren’t getting along.

“Besides, I like sex. I miss sex. And before I dry up, I’d rather cut my losses, make a clean break and pray that God will send me somebody who will love me faithfully and solely, for the rest of my life.”

“You deserve that kind of love, Tai. I want that for you more than anything in the world.”

Tai sat back and crossed her arms. “Can I tell you something?”

Vivian didn’t miss the gleam that flashed into her friend’s eyes. “Sure.”

“I’ve got a secret admirer.”

“Unh-unh!”

“Girl, I’m serious.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know, it’s a secret, dummy!”

“Details, girl, give ’em up!”

“Well, I know it’s somebody at the college. In the couple weeks before I came here, someone was leaving little niceties on my windshield. A couple cards, a long-stemmed rose, one day a coupon for a smoothie at this trendy juice bar.”

“And you have no idea?”

“I have suspicions. There’s this professor that always goes
out of his way to speak whenever he sees me. And my computer teacher is always flirting with me. He flirts with everybody, though.”

“Get outta here! I didn’t even know you had Black instructors.”

“Did I say they were Black?”

“Oh—my—God.”

“That’s right, girl, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” Tai started laughing, and Vivian couldn’t help but join in.

“Now, look,” Vivian began, trying to adopt a seriousness that she didn’t feel. “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

“Oh, girl. I didn’t say I was going to run to the nearest hotel or jump in the first backseat offered. But I do find both men attractive. Come to think of it, I never paid much attention to men of other races before. I never paid attention to anybody, except King.”

Vivian shook her head. Tai had thrown a curve.

“The professor’s fine—curly, thick brown hair with smoky gray eyes.” Tai cocked her head, visually picturing him as she went on. “I’d say he’s in his fifties, ’cause he’s got touches of gray at the temples and a little streak through his hair. But he must work out because he’s in good shape and he works wonders for a pair of jeans.”

“Stop!”

“I’m only admiring God’s creation!”

“Uh-huh.”

“My instructor, Mike, is a little cutie, but I’m really not interested. If he’s thirty I’d be surprised. But he’s got this crooked, mischievous smile and the blond-haired, blue-eyed hearty looks of a Nordic Viking. He’s very affectionate, always grabbing my hand, rubbing my arms. And it’s been so long since King’s rubbed anything that chile’—”

“Girl, you know you need to quit. You better get to church
bright and early tomorrow ’cause you know you need prayer.” Tai and Vivian shared a laugh then as they finished their meal and headed for the beach. Vivian found herself hurrying. All that talk of rubbing and grabbing had made her ready for “dessert.”

King had just stepped from the shower when he heard the front doors close.
That would be the twins,
he thought as he toweled himself vigorously. He poured a generous dollop of cocoa butter lotion in his hand and rubbed it on his feet and toes before moving up to his calves, knees, thighs, genitals and buttocks. He poured another handful and wiped down his arms, hands and chest. He hated being ashy.

“Daddy! Grandpa’s here!” Tabitha bounded up the stairs and yelled through the doorway.

“We already ate, Dad. Gramps took us for tacos.” Timothy’s shout was heard as he stood next to Tabitha, just outside the door.

Dad’s here? What does he want?
“It must be something important,” King said aloud, and then to the children, “I’m getting dressed. I’ll be right out.” His brow furrowed as he grabbed his navy blue Calvin Klein jockeys and slid them on, pulling the matching T-shirt over his head. He reached for the freshly starched and pressed jeans, slipping them on and stepping into his Nikes, all in one continuous motion.

King tried to remember the last time his father had come over unexpectedly. He couldn’t. He was almost sure the Reverend Doctor Pastor Bishop Overseer Mister Stanley Obadiah Meshach Brook, Jr. had never dropped off the kids before. Oh, no. His father was definitely from the old school where children, aside from being seen and not heard, were women’s work. The fact that he’d taken them out to eat showed that the old man must be softening up with age.

King tucked his white shirt into his jeans and walked over to the dresser. He splashed on some Armani and donned his watch, bracelet and rings. He walked back over to the closet and grabbed a blue sports jacket before heading for the door. His chest seemed to tighten, and an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. Why did he get the feeling that his father’s visit was not a social call?

“Hey, Dad.” King entered the living room to find his father staring at a large family photo of him, Tai and the kids. Uh-oh.

“Son.”

King felt oddly uncomfortable. He and his father had never been very close, but they did share an easy-going relationship honed through mutual respect and shared passion in things relating to ministry. The Reverend, as King’s mother often called him, was away from home often, either traveling or fulfilling his myriad duties as pastor, district and national leader, advisor, one-time councilman and evangelist. His mother had always been the stabilizing home influence. King and Mama Max were tight. Usually, that was.

“Uh, can I get you something?”

“A glass of water would be fine.”

Just then Tabitha bounded down the stairs and into her father’s arms. “Hey, Daddy! Ooh, you smell good. Where you going?”

The Reverend turned around as if waiting for an answer
to the question himself. “Baby, go get your grandpa a glass of water.”

King turned toward his father as Tabitha headed for the kitchen. “So, Dad, what brings you by?”

The Reverend didn’t respond. For someone known for his prolific speech, he could sometimes be a man of few words. He turned back toward the family photo while humming “Jesus Keep Me Near the Cross.”

“Here you go, Grandpa.”

“Thank you, darling. Now, you run along now. Me and your daddy’s talking.”

King thought that response interesting. Not a word had been spoken.

Tabitha gave her grandfather another hug. “Okay, Grandpa. Thanks again for dinner. It was fun. See ya later.” She started up the stairs and then turned back suddenly. “Is Anna watching us again tonight, Daddy?”

Again both she and the Reverend waited for King’s response.

“We’ll see,” King replied noncommittally. He watched his daughter run up the steps. As if for the first time he noticed her rounding bottom, long, slim legs and graceful yet still childlike movements. King blinked. When had his little girl grown up? The twins had just turned twelve. He turned to his father. “They grow up so fast,” he started, hoping that the topic of children would keep the conversation safe. “I don’t know where the time goes.”

The Reverend walked over to the couch and sat down. He took a long drink of water, belched and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before finishing the glass and setting it on the coffee table. He leaned back against the sofa, put his chin in his hand and stared off into the distance, into a long, long time ago.

“Yeah, time sho’ flies,” he began slowly, sounding like a
preacher even in the confines of his son’s living room. His cadence, combined with the honeyed sound of his Southern drawl, drifted like a warm blanket over the room. “Just seems like yesterday y’all were children. One minute your mama was giving you the tittie, the next thing I knew, you was grown.”

King smiled warmly and relaxed. He looked at his watch and walked over to the recliner, sitting at the end of it, elbows on knees. Maybe a little chat with his father wouldn’t be so bad after all. Maybe now he and his father could establish the closeness he never knew as a child. Besides, April wasn’t going anywhere. Of that, he was certain.

“I know what you mean. Looks like I’m going to have to go out and buy a baseball bat to ward off the young men who think they might have a chance with my daughters. They might, but they’ll have to come through me.”

“Well, they’s comin’, that’s for sho’. That Danny fella must have called the house fifty times today alone.”

“Danny Jackson? Deacon Earl Jackson’s boy? How old is he, fourteen, fifteen? If he touches Tabitha, Dad, I swear, I’ll beat him like he stole something.” King’s hands flexed at the thought.

“Aw, son, calm down now. He’s just a tall thirteen; seems to be a nice enough kid. Know somethin’ about the Word, too.”

“You met him?”

“His aunt lives a couple doors down from us. He was conveniently visiting her when the kids came over.”

King wasn’t ready to hear about his baby liking boys. It was too much. It was too soon. “Convenient, indeed. Me and that boy are going to have a talk.”

The Reverend looked at King for a long moment and then asked quietly, “And what are you gon’ tell him, son?”

King knew it was a loaded question but answered it anyway. “I’m going to tell him to keep his hands off my daughter!”

“Uh-huh.” The Reverend rubbed his chin thoughtfully, still looking into the distance. “And who are you gon’ keep
your
hands off of?”

Uh-oh. Here we go. So this is the reason for the unexpected visit.
King walked over to the large picture window and looked out into the street. Of course, he knew that the Reverend was aware of his indiscretions, that Mama Max and the Reverend shared almost everything. But he and his father had never talked about that or any other personal aspects of his life for that matter. It just wasn’t that kind of relationship. No, their conversations had been ones of God and sports, “churchanity” and Mama Max’s cooking. They talked about the children, world events, the weather, fishing, but not the personal stuff. This was new territory. King turned around, crossing his arms over his chest and eyeing his father pointedly.

“What’s on your mind, Dad?”

The Reverend reached for a peppermint in the crystal dish on the coffee table. He carefully unpeeled the hard candy from the wrapper, eyeing his son as he did so.

“Your mama and I been married a long time,” he began. “Going on fifty years. That’s a long time to be with one woman.” He sat back and perched his elbow on the couch arm, rubbing his chin with his hand, a thoughtful expression on his face. King walked back over to the chair and sat down. Instead of looking at his father, however, he continued to stare out the picture window. He noticed the beautiful colors that danced across the Midwest, Indian summer sky, compliments of a setting sun. A bird flew across the window and perched atop the bushes, neatly manicured to border the house front. The sparrow cocked its head as if looking at King and saying, “Yes, may I help you?” Or was it, “You know you ain’t right.” Before King could ascertain the correct message, the bird flew away, and his father resumed speaking.

“When your mama and I first married, I had just got my first church. Your mama was a looker back then, boy. We had
practically grown up together, you know, our farms being next to each other and all. We were almost what some might call “kissin’ cousins” because your mama’s great-auntie had married my daddy’s brother’s cousin’s boy.”

King looked at his watch. If his dad was going to recount his entire lineage, it could take all night. The Reverend, nonplussed, droned on.

“From our early years, your mama loved God. I can remember many a Sunday at Cherry Hill Baptist Church when your mama would get up there and recite those speeches and thangs, so nice and cute like. Play that piano and sing like an angel. By the time I was twelve years old, I knew I was gonna be a preacher, and not much after that I knew your mama was gon’ be my wife.”

King tried to hurry the Reverend along without showing his impatience. “Yes, Dad, Mama has told me these stories many times.”

“Uh-huh. Well, we worked hard, your mama and me, building the church, building the family. And then when y’all was still wee young’uns, the Reverend Doctor Elijah Smith from Tuscaloosa, Alabama, held a revival meeting in the town’s bingo parlor. Changed my life.” The Reverend stopped then, his eyes narrowing as he replayed the events of yesterday on his mind’s memory video.

Would you get to the point?
“Uh, Doctor Smith, huh?” King asked, glancing at his watch, more pointedly this time.

“Yessirree, Doctor Elijah Smith. I was still a young buck, just a snot-nosed preacher, and man, I thought that fella was somethin’. Boy, could he preach! Well, one of the elders told him about me, and he had me bring a prayer that night. When I got finished, wasn’t a dry eye in the place.

“Yes, Lawd, after that night, the good Reverend Doctor invited me to join him for the rest of his revivals, and from that day, my ministry took off. Shoot! Just like a rocket. Next thang I knew, I was gone all the time. And next thang I knew,
y’all was grown. I can’t tell you the respect I have for your mama, boy. She practically raised you by herself.”

“As I recall, you were home enough. I think I’ve still got some marks on my back from your whuppins to prove it.” King smiled while making the statement; he’d long ago forgiven his father for what would now be easily termed child abuse.

“Well, you know the Word says spare the rod—”

“Spoil the child,” King finished. “I know, I know.”

“But in the meantime and in between times, it would get lonely on the road, you know? And I ain’t gon’ lie to ya,’ son, I didn’t always do right, wasn’t always faithful to your mama. I was young and foolish, full of myself. And these fine, willin’ women would throw themselves at my feet as I went from church to church, behinds out to here, tits out to there. Lord a’mercy! Either the temptation was too strong or I was too weak, one or the otha’. I didn’t have the good sense to realize them was the devil’s morsels I was tastin’. That I should never have sat down at the table, much less took a meal.”

King sat in stunned silence at his father’s honesty. He’d had his own thoughts about his father’s fidelity in the past, but he would have never voiced them. His father was a well-respected pillar of the community, praised as a role model, seen as an icon of leadership in and out of the church. He’d always commanded the utmost respect, in and out of his home. Any thought of impropriety was never so much as whispered. To his knowledge and remembrance, his mother had always treated the Reverend with the utmost respect. His house had not been one of arguments or unkind words. But who knew what went on behind the bedroom doors?

King did remember the women who’d flirt shamelessly with his father when his mother wasn’t around. And he particularly remembered this one woman, Miss Callie Something-or-Other, a pretty, dark-skinned woman with long, coal black hair who used to wear frilly dresses with matching
hats and sit in the second row of the church, on the far side by the window. King remembered how he’d gone to the church early one Wednesday before Bible study and went looking for his dad in his study. He couldn’t have been more than eight or nine. He’d barged in after barely knocking and stood wide-eyed as his father held Miss Something-or-Other in a less-than-Godly embrace. Miss Callie had jumped away from his father, thanking him for his “counsel” and assuring him she felt better. He remembered her wiping away a couple nonexistent tears from her eyes before bolting from the study. He remembered his father whopping him upside the head and threatening him with a “killin’” if he
ever
came into his study without knocking again. King hadn’t thought of this incident for decades, and thinking back on it, he remembered that his mother had never liked Miss Callie, and his mama liked almost everybody. King came back to the present to find his father still speaking.

“Then this woman I’d been seeing was staying at the same hotel with us at the Dallas convention. Somebody told your mama, and she came up to the room, screaming loud enough to wake Abraham from the dead. She threatened the woman, me and everybody else within the sound of her voice. She came home and bought a gun. I thought the woman had lost her mind.” The Reverend laughed heartily at the memory. “It was then I thought I’d better straighten up and fly right. The thought of Maxine with a gun was a powerful convincer.”

“So you never cheated on Mama again?”

The Reverend took a long time answering. “I wish I could say that was true,” he voiced finally. “Just got good at hiding it. No, it took almost losing your mama before I finally realized what my life would be without her, and found out it wouldn’t be much.”

“You mean the cancer.”

His father nodded and rose from the couch. He walked over to the wall and stared up again at the family portrait.
“Yeah, when Maxine had that cancer scare, I finally slowed down enough for God to talk to me. And he showed me some thangs. Showed me how I’d gotten my priorities all confused, all twisted in a bunch. How I’d let the church work consume me and hadn’t spent enough time with you children, with your mama. I prayed to God one night in the hospital chapel that if he would give me back Maxine, I’d show Him how much I appreciated her. I been faithful ever since.”