Everyone says that you never forget your first love. I cannot really say that I ever had a first love, for in my childhood and youth the man I loved and admired most of all was Mao Zedong. I gave him everything I had: my purest love, as well as all my longing and hopes. He was an idol I worshipped with all my heart.
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Chairman Mao, you were my first object of desire!
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The first song I learned to sing was "The East Is Red." I knew what Chairman Mao looked like from the time I could recognize my parents. When I was a Red Guard I could recite all his quotations word perfect. My brain was armed with Mao Zedong Thought. During the unprecedented Cultural Revolution I used Chairman Mao's words as my weapon to fight opponents. My prodigious memory and quick tongue always meant that my "enemies" would retreat in defeat.
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If I ever had any problems I would search Chairman Mao's writings for an answer. When we lost one of our chicks I looked for help in his works. When, not long after, the chick reappeared, I knew it was due to the intercession of our Great, Wise, and Correct Chairman Mao.
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When, as a child, I played games with my friends, our pledge of honor was: "I swear by Chairman Mao." If someone said that, even if they prefaced it by claiming that they had just come from Mars, we would believe it without question. Naturally, no one ever took this oath lightly.
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I worshipped and loved Chairman Mao so utterly that there was absolutely nothing extraneous or impure in my feelings for him. When I grew a bit older and learned the secret of how men and women made babies, I had the most shocking realization: "Could Chairman Mao possibly do that as well?" Of course, I immediately banished these sacrilegious thoughts from my head. . . . 2
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Then Chairman Mao set the revolutionary blaze of the Cultural Revolution alight. It also ignited our youthful enthusiasm. We were like moths drawn to a flame, and we threw ourselves into the inferno en masse. We were in a frenzy and utilized every ounce of energy at our disposal.
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We would have given anything to protect Chairman Mao, including our very lives. Our love for the Chairman consumed us body and soul. If anyone had dared to try and harm our beloved Chairman, we would have pounced on him, bitten his hand off, gouged out his eyes, screamed in his ears until he was deaf, spat on him until he drowned in a lake of spittle, and would have happily died in the effort just like [the revolutionary martyr] Dong Cunrui.
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On 18 August 1966, Chairman Mao reviewed the Red Guards for the first time. I was too young to become a Red Guard, but I spent all my time dreaming of joining the organization that was sworn to protect Chairman Mao. After making extraordinary efforts, I was finally allowed to take part
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