Shadow Mated (Ouachita Mountain Shifter Book 5) (8 page)

One by one the cats fell away to reveal human men, angry and confused. And likely too sore to attack. Or she hoped so anyway.

“Adira!” Mirena’s voice broke their chant, just in time to warn her of the cougar’s attack.

Adira flung her hand at the animal, but it was too late. With a high pitched
reeeeear
, he pounced, rolling with her to the ground. She lost her breath as his big body slammed her against the rocks Nastia had been counting only minutes earlier, but the light within her was powerful enough without words, and he began the change. His feline eyes grew wide, turning human gold in a blink.

“
Reditum donum.
Power to power, fate to fate,” she rushed out, her breath finally returning.
“Ad animum
. Light to light, don’t separate.
Reditum donum. Ad animum.
”

With a scream that twisted her gut, the cougar shifted, half collapsing on top of her. His chest heaved with breath and his head hung low. Adira didn’t dare move. Her hair was in the dirt. Rocks dug into her back and would probably leave bruises, but she didn’t dare budge an inch with the shifter atop her.

“You will be all right,” she murmured, a frown turning her lips when she realized she didn’t feel the urge to finish that with a rhyme.

Slowly, the shifter raised his head to pin her with that furious gold gaze. Adira’s breath caught. Even angry from the change, the man was beautiful. Sharp jaw, dark hair that hung just slightly in his face. Full lips that raised in a snarl.

“Damn straight,” he growled. “But will you? Because you’ll pay for this.”

“Get off of her,” Mirena demanded, angling her hands as though she could still attack him. “
I dare you
.”

With a frustrated sound, he rolled away and Mirena helped Adira to her feet. Slowly the turned shifters struggled to stand, none looking remotely friendly as the Elder had described. But then again, they’d just had their animals forced away.

“We’ve come to help you,” Adira murmured, holding her side where it was screaming pain.

Nastia frowned, staring hard at her. “Are you well?” she whispered.

“Fine.” Adira cut her a ruthless glare. “Destiny sent us.”

Everything went still. The men, the women, the air.

“Destiny sent us to help you.”

Chapter Eight

Gash knew he was dreaming. Knew it because he’d had this dream so many times before. But it didn’t mean it hurt any less just because it wasn’t real. Living through the death of his mate was horrible before he’d ever met her. Now, it was excruciating.

He watched as it unfolded again before his eyes, unable to keep from participating.

Felix had Bailey. Gash knew her name now, but the first several times he’d dreamed of her death, she was merely a faceless female that he loved. And she loved him back. He didn’t know how they’d come to it, he only knew what he felt.

So many gaps had been filled in since that first time. Now he saw her face, her body. Knew their story. Now he finally understood the tangle of feelings he experienced in his dream. Why they haunted him so badly that he was driven to leave the only clan he’d ever known.

When he’d faked his death and sought her out, the only information he had was that she was in the Ouachitas and that she’d die by his brother’s hand. Now, in this fresh dream, Felix had her by the throat, squeezing as her eyes bulged and her mouth fought for air.

Gash struggled to reach her, but there was always something between them. Alley Cats came from everywhere, mocking him, kicking him to the ground like they did when he was too little to fight back. But now he was big. He’d grown huge, bigger even than Felix. He could fight them now, and he did. Killing one right after another to get to his mate.

But no matter how many throats he clawed through, no matter how many lives he took, more kept coming. Blood coated him and the ground, and still, he fought werecat after werecat while he watched the life fade from his Bailey’s eyes until she was gone.

Gone.

“Nooooooo,” he roared, but Felix just chuckled, cruelly tossing Bailey’s lifeless body to the wet ground.

Gash crawled to her, all the Alley Cats suddenly gone. Gone, now that it was too late. Gone, now that she was gone.

“No. No, goddamn it, no!”

He pulled Bailey into his arms, cradling her face and getting blood on her pretty cheeks.

No. She can’t be dead. Mate can’t be dead
.

Tears streaked his cheeks and he didn’t even care that Felix was laughing at him. He wanted to be dead too. He should be dead if she was. There should be no Gash without Bailey. No him without her, it just wasn’t right.

“No, Bailey. No. Come back to me. Please come back to me.”

Felix crouched down to hover over Gash as he rocked his mate’s limp, lifeless body and begged her to live.

“I see why you like it here, brother. It’s not as boring as I assumed it’d be. Of course, how could it be boring with the Alley Cats showing up?” Felix whistled his eerie sound as he stood to leave. “I’m
really
starting to like the Ouachitas.”

A growl rose in Gash’s throat. He was ready to die, but he wasn’t going without taking his brother with him. Easing Bailey’s body back to the ground, he let his cat come forward to get their revenge. With a screeching roar, he shifted and swiped Felix across the face with his powerful claws. The crack of his brother’s skull resounded in the silence. Before he even knew there was a fight on his hands, Felix was lying broken on the ground next to Bailey.

Gash roared, throwing all his pain into the sound and letting it out for the world to hear. Let them know. Let them all know how much he’d lost. How much he’d loved. Let them hear it.

But Bailey screamed and he snapped his jaws shut, coming awake to find his mate sitting up in bed, wide-eyed with terror. Feral sounds filled the room, and a painful grinding in his chest told him he was partially turned.

Shit.

Too close to mate
.

Gash sprang from the bed, landing on the hardwood floor in a heap before letting his jag-lion go. Fur broke out along his limbs. Fingers turned to claws. His panicked breathing became soft growls.

Shaking his coat out, he faced his mate. His Bailey. She was real and living and safe in her own bed. He wanted to go to her, nuzzle her neck to absorb her scent, lick her. Anything to remind him what he’d just experienced was only a dream.

Carefully, she rose up to her knees, letting the sheet fall away. “Gash,” she murmured. “What happened?”

He needed to tell her. She deserved to know all the ugly things he hid in his heart. Hide nothing from mate. She’s too important.

But right now, he still felt the bloodlust thick in his mind. He needed to calm down first.

Gash paced the small space of her bedroom, his paws padding along the floorboards nervously.

Need to run. Need to escape. Need to
—

A small growl brought his head around just in time to watch Bailey’s shift. In a blink, she went from buxom beauty to majestic tigress that stole his breath away. He’d never seen her animal before, and now his cat paid attention to every detail. Her markings were black as shadows against a sunset-colored coat. Pointy ears tipped silver-white. Copper eyes fringed in long, thick lashes.

Bailey’s eyes. Still hers.

With a fluid grace, she leapt from the bed and loped toward him, her tail sashaying in a sexy way that had him forgetting about his panic. When she reached him, she brushed her face against his fur, pushing at his body with hers. A long lick behind his ear and more rubbing before her purr vibrated through the room.

Aw, yes, mate was doing what she did best. Breaking him down, one soft touch at a time. Taking all the ugly things and replacing them with beautiful ones.

Sweet mate.
Mine
. Forever mine.

***

Bailey continued giving Gash her face, her throat, her back. Communicating animal to animal that he was safe.
She
was safe.

His thundering growl had woken her from a dead sleep to find him crazy-eyed and mid shift. She didn’t know what had him so worked up, but she figured it must have been a nightmare. Hadn’t he mentioned it once?

Bailey rubbed her face along his once more, eliciting a soft growl from him.

Her mate was magnificent. His coat was the sandy beach color of a cougar’s with the black rosette markings of a jaguar. The perfect combination of his mixed heritage. The broad muscular shoulders of his human form translated into a thick, brawny neck that she nipped playfully with her fangs.

Through their bond, she felt him calm, felt the rage and confusion fade, and was pleased that she could help him in this way.

Gash shifted back to human, and lifted his shaking hand to rub it through the fur of her chest, upward along her throat, and around between her ears.

“Beautiful mate,” he murmured, his voice raw from the screaming.

Bailey tucked her head under his while he continued to run his fingers along the ridge of her spine.

“Let’s go back to bed.”

Silently, she shifted and he took her hand to lead her back under the covers. Gash settled in beside her and lifted his arm for her to rest her head on his chest. Beneath her cheek, his heart beat double time, but as they lay in silence, his fingers tracing the skin at her side, it eventually slowed.

“Nightmare?” she asked finally.

“Yeah.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

He sighed. “No. But I will if you want me to.”

“I want to know what frightens you so much you tried to shift in your sleep. But it’s okay if you don’t tell me right now.”

He stayed silent, and she nestled closer.

“Were you a bad man before? Really a bad man?”

She couldn’t picture Gash as an evil villain. It didn’t make sense with the man she’d come to know around the lodge. But he’d been raised a shadow, so maybe he’d done bad things.

It wouldn’t matter. Not really. She believed people could change, and saw who Gash was in this moment, and loved the man.

“I’m a bad man now, Bailey.”

“No, you’re not,” she argued. “You spent all day training the bears didn’t you? And now you’ll be awake all night keeping watch. To keep us all safe. And I know you feel compelled to make sure I’m safe, because of your animal, but you’d do the same for the others even if I wasn’t in the picture. I know you’re a good man. You can’t change my mind.”

He bent his head to drop a sweet, lingering kiss to her forehead. “You see good things in me.”

“Because there are good things to see. And…” She could say it. He’d felt it in their bond like she had, so he knew. She just had to say it. And she should. She had a feeling he hadn’t heard it enough throughout his years. “I love you.”

Gash went still for several breaths before curling his finger under her chin and easing her face up to meet his stormy gaze. “Say it again.” His request was soft, almost doubtful. “Looking into my eyes so I know what it looks like.”

“I love you, Gash.”

He pressed his lips together tight, his throat bobbing on a heavy swallow.

“No one’s ever said that to me before.”

Bailey frowned. “Not even your parents?”

“My mom left after I was born, and my pops wasn’t the type that loved anything. Not even himself.”

Bailey swallowed down her sadness. She’d be strong for him. If he was brave enough to talk about his past, she could be brave enough to share hers too.

“My parents never loved me either,” she admitted. “My mama groomed me to be the perfect female for our streak. One a male would want to breed. Or so she thought. But when I failed to find a mate by my twentieth birthday, they cast me out. I wasn’t of any use to them.”

His brow furrowed in a frown. “I should kill them for that.”

Bailey’s lips curled at his blunt words. “Nah. They aren’t worth your time or mine. And besides, if they’d kept me, I wouldn’t have ended up here, in your arms.”

He tightened his grip on her. “Very true, mate. And for that reason only, they get to live.”

“I’m sorry your family sucks too,” she murmured.

Gash’s jaw ticked, and she knew the awful stuff was coming.

“Growing up was bad. Real fucked up shit,” he whispered. “I don’t want you to know it all. Don’t want it in your head.”

“Okay.”

“But the truth is, I’ve done bad things. I hate that it’s true because I wish your mate was somebody better than me. You deserve someone perfect. Someone who hasn’t killed or taken advantage of others. But you get me. And the thing is, I’ll try for the rest of my life to do right by you. That’s a promise.”

“Everyone makes mistakes. What’s important is what you learn from them. Your past makes you try to be better. You don’t want to see that part, but it’s true.”

Gash nodded, staring down at her hand where it rested on his chest. “I never liked doing the things I did. I just did them because it was required of me. If I failed, they took it out of my skin.”

“What do you mean?”

Easing her away, Gash sat forward and twisted to show Bailey his back.

At the sight, she pressed her fingers to her lips to stifle a horrified gasp. In his skin, was a roughly shaped S that stretched across his shoulder blades, slanted to his ribs, and curved around to end at his waist. Various slashes that had healed with thick scar tissue formed the letter she could only assume stood for
shadow
.

Bailey let her fingers brush over the old wounds, and Gash flinched, breaking her heart even more.

“They did this to you? Your family?”

He gave a single sharp nod, and then twisted back to lie down, urging her against his chest again.

“And your face?”

“Remember what I said about mating marks?”

Bailey froze, her stomach lurching.

“Felix gave me a fake mark one night when I refused to kill for him and he couldn’t take anything else from my back without my cat retaliating. Said…” Gash hesitated until she wrapped her arm around his waist and gave him a squeeze. “Said I acted like a bitch so he was going to make me look like one. It was the ultimate humiliation. It guaranteed none of my brothers would ever respect me. It made my life hell. They ruined my body, but it was the price of refusing an order.”

Bailey felt sick. The things his clan had done to him were heinous. Unforgivable. Her tiger might be uncharacteristically submissive, but she couldn’t guarantee she wouldn’t go for blood if she ever came face to face with these monsters.

“You must have refused them a lot.”

“I did. But not enough.”

Bailey shook her head. “You did what was needed to survive.”

He grew quiet again, his palm brushing along her arm in a soothing pass.

“Felix wants to hurt you to get back at me for leaving.”

“We knew that was a probability.”

Gash nodded. “Yes, but I’ve known for longer.”

Bailey lifted her head to watch him. “What do you mean?”

“Remember I said I came here for you? To keep you safe?”

She nodded.

“I knew about you from my nightmare. It’s reoccurring. Every night for a year now, I’ve had one of two dreams about you. Well, it wasn’t you at first. You were just a female I couldn’t quite make out, but I knew you were mine. In the dreams, either you live or you die. Both by Felix’s hands. It started when I was still in Memphis. I’d been looking for a way out of the Alley Cats, thinking I could just get lost and they wouldn’t be able to find me. When I dreamed of you, I knew I couldn’t wait any longer. Because even though in one version of the dream you live… well, Felix isn’t the type to let live, so I wasn’t willing to risk it. Had to find you and keep you away from him.”