Shadow Mated (Ouachita Mountain Shifter Book 5) (6 page)

“What… what are we doing?” she whispered, and he could feel her trepidation through their bond. He wanted it
gone
. All her doubt about them, he wanted to obliterate it.

If he could just make her see how good he would treat her. How safe he could keep her. How much love he hid in his heart for fear it wouldn’t be accepted.

Like Felix said, he’d always been the one with the softest heart. He’d loved vile, evil people and wanted their love in return, only to never feel it.

And now he loved his Bailey and couldn’t find a way to show her. He’d tried to tell her. He bared his soul last night, and all she’d said was thank you.

What could he do to make her see him? Feel him, like he felt her. Make her see that he was the male for her.

“I want to kiss you,” he rushed out, his breath stalling with the admission. “I want to kiss you so fucking bad. Let me kiss you, Bailey.”

Somehow she relaxed in his grip. Like his words settled her. She licked her lips and his eyes followed the motion as she rolled them together. A tiny unsure nod sealed the deal.

He was going to kiss his mate after all this time.

Get this right. Fuck, Gash, man, get this right
.

Slow, when he wanted to slam his mouth against hers and claim her with a bite. Careful this first time. A kiss from his heart to show her how cherished she was. That he appreciated everything she did for their clan. That he saw her, and wanted her for life. Something to erase all the ugly words he’d used to put distance between them.

Holding her face as gently as he was able, thumbs brushing her cheeks, he inched forward, pressing his weight into her hips. It took him three whole breaths to reach her lips, and when he did, the feeling was so sweet he felt something break in his chest. He’d never kissed a female like this. Not like
this
.

Something around his heart cracked wide open to let her in. And once she was safe inside, he would close it back up to protect what they had together. No one would touch their love once he had hers secured.

My life
.

Felix’s words snaked through his mind.
I owe you a life
. But he’d never get Bailey.
Never
. Gash would see to it. His wretched, repeating nightmare would never be reality.

Shaking with emotion, he pulled back, but only enough to catch a breath. He’d only barely brushed her giving mouth, but the connection had been life changing for him, and he wasn’t ready to see how she was affected yet. He wanted more, wanted to show her more.

Tilting her head, he pressed their lips together again, moving slowly against hers, leisurely because he never wanted it to end. He wanted to kiss her always. He wanted it to be his new job, to make her feel good. Make her smile. Make her so fucking happy that it rubbed off on him.

As he eased her mouth open and licked inside, something miraculous happened. Her apprehension melted away. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and her hands burrowed into his hair, tiny claws peeking out to bite into his scalp as a helpless moan slipped past her throat.

And he didn’t stop.

Curling his fingers around her jaw, their kiss became more urgent, guided by her hands in his hair pulling him closer. With his tongue, he carefully explored every inch of her sweet mouth, committing her taste to memory. This was his.

Breaking away from her mouth, he pecked along her jaw, burying his face in her neck and inhaling so deep he was high on her scent. This was his.

“I felt something,” she murmured. “Through our bond. Like you did last night.”

Gash pulled back to meet her watery gaze. More tears. Goddamn it. Did he fuck this up?

But then her lips curved up in the most careful smile and her head tilted to the side as if trying to see him from a different angle. “Do you… do you…” She shook her head like she couldn’t believe it.

She never got the question out, but it was working.
Showing
her was working better than his words ever could. And he wasn’t even near done.

He took her hand again, more careful this time, and started toward her cabin. “Let’s go, mate.”

Chapter Six

Maneuvering the uneven terrain of the forest was no easy task when your legs felt like they were made of jelly. Bailey was careful to step in the path Gash created with his boots, but she still stumbled until they were clear of the trees.

He’d kissed her, but that wasn’t the best part. No. It was the emotion he’d poured into it. The feelings that traveled through their bond and straight into her heart. If she could trust the damn thing.

There was desire and lust, which made her kitty purr. Knowing a rugged man like Gash found her body attractive was a huge confidence booster. He hadn’t complimented her once, but she didn’t need it. She
felt
his admiration. And that was a million times better than any flattering remark.

But that still wasn’t the best part. Instincts and hormones could create lust in a male… but they couldn’t create the other feelings she’d picked up on.

Please let that part be real
.

They broke through into the small clearing behind her house, and Gash made a straight line for the back door. Releasing her hand to pull a ring of keys from the pocket of his jeans, he shuffled through until he found the one he needed and inserted it in the lock.

“Master key,” he murmured at her crooked eyebrow. “Fits all the cabins. Magic gave it to me.”

Pushing the door open, he led her inside and closed the door behind him, leaning back on it like he was waiting for her to say something. It was her cabin but he stood there like he owned the place.

Bailey swallowed hard, pushing her shoulders back. “Want a drink?” she squeaked and then cleared her throat.

“Want you.” His answer and determined look made her body quake with nerves.

“For how long?”

Gash cocked his head, a line forming between his brows before he pushed off from the door.

Bailey wrung her hands, winding up the courage to ask the question she needed an answer to. “I mean. I know you’ve had others, flings. One night stands. And I know you feel this…
responsibility
to me, but h-how long, exactly, are you going to want me?”

Gash’s frown deepened. “I’ve had no females since I found you. None.”

“But… people talk.
You
talk. I’ve heard it from your own mouth.”

His lips formed a grim line as he stared at her with troubled eyes. Running a frustrated hand through his hair, he said, “I was fronting, Bailey. Because I thought I needed to, for the guys. To earn their respect. I come from a clan where every ounce of dignity is earned with blood. Where you fight and fuck to prove your value.”

“Ouachita doesn’t work that way,” she said quietly.

“I know. And when I figured that out, I stopped pretending. But the thing is, no female could hold my attention after my eyes saw you.”

Relieved yet wary, she whispered, “You still haven’t answered my question.”

Gash sighed, staring at her in that intense way, eyes digging in deep. “I want you tonight…”

Bailey’s stomach sank with disappointment and then lifted again when he continued.

“And tomorrow night and every night after.”

He took one measured step toward her, then another. A lion stalking his prey.

“I want you during the day and when I’m asleep. When I’m breathing, I want you. When my heart is pumping blood I want you. When I’m weak and when I’m strong, when I’m in danger or when I’m safe.” He was so close now. If she breathed deep, they’d touch. But his eyes and the truth of his words held her still. “I want you, Bailey. For always. But right now I want you to say yes, and then I want to show you, like I did back there, how good I can
love
you.”

Bailey felt the tears flood her eyelids again. Happy ones, like after they’d kissed. Because maybe she couldn’t trust her heart, she wasn’t sure, but she wanted to believe him. The truth was right there in his eyes, flowing through their growing bond.

“Yes,” she whispered.

And before she’d even finished the word, Gash’s mouth crashed into hers. His kiss wasn’t gentle this time, and her tiger loved it. A satisfied sound rumbled her chest and rolled up her throat as she tunneled her hands in his silky hair.

He walked her backward through the living room. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once, rough and then gentling, then rough again. Like he was trying not to be a barbarian. It was sweet. And unnecessary. She wanted him as he was. The real Gash.

Palms sweeping past her bottom, he gripped her thighs and lifted her effortlessly to straddle his waist. Bailey gasped and pulled her mouth away, the muscles of his shoulders bunching under her white-knuckle grip.

“What?” Gash frowned hard. “What is it?”

“I’m too heavy for this.”

He started walking with her to the bedroom and a dominant growl snarled up his throat. “Don’t test me, woman. I’m strong enough to carry two of you. Now give me back your mouth. I wasn’t done with it.”

She couldn’t help her grin as she lowered her lips to his. He nipped her bottom lip twice before plunging his tongue inside to dance with hers.

Gash shoved the door open with his boot and stepped into her bedroom. It wasn’t anything fancy. A white wooden dresser and nightstand to match the headboard. A queen sized bed, since she’d never expected to be sharing it with anyone. And a picture of her and Tana at her wolf mating ceremony. She missed that female bigtime bad.

Gash stopped near the bed and leisurely slid Bailey down his body until her feet touched the floor. She was eye to chest, and nervous as heck. She’d only been with one other male and it was before her Ouachita days. When nights on the street were cold and lonely, and she was searching for love and approval in the stupidest of places.

Where would she be if Cleaver hadn’t found her?

“What do you want to do with your life, little tiger? Think long and hard, and come up with an answer you can live with. You do that, and I’ll do my damndest to see that it happens.”

He didn’t know her from Adam. Only knew she was a shifter because he was one too. But he’d reached out a helping hand and she was forever grateful.

“I want to cook. So that I can never go hungry again. I want to make magic with food, meals out of scraps. So that when I have nothing, I still have something. I want my power back, starting with that.”

Cleaver’s smile was kind. “I know just the place for you.”

He’d hooked her up with the job at the lodge, studying under Eagan. With one kind gesture, he gave her a family, her self-respect, and eventually her mate. She wondered if he knew how much he’d changed her life. She should tell him someday.

Gash stared down at her with hungry eyes but he didn’t make a move.

“What is it?” she asked.

“It’s like opening a present. I hardly remember Christmas morning as a kid. Hell, maybe we didn’t even celebrate. I don’t know. But this… you… undressing you… I don’t know whether to carefully peel your clothes back or rip them to shreds.”

A giddy trill of excitement fluttered in her middle. Who would’ve thought a male—
her male
—would be so excited to see what was under her clothes. Doc had pointed out her best physical features once. Namely, her boobs. Bangin’ tits, she’d called them. And yeah, they weren’t too shabby. Maybe they should start there.

With a deep breath, Bailey stepped back and slowly peeled her shirt over her head, leaving only her black cotton sports bra and leggings. Finding Gash’s wide-eyed gaze, she pressed her lips together waiting for his reaction.

“
Ohhh
… option three is definitely the way to go.” His voice was deep and husky. “More,” he commanded.

His eyes burning into her gave Bailey the courage to shuck the bra, but when she was bare from the waist up, she struggled not to cover herself. Tight fisted hands stayed rigid at her sides by force of sheer will.

Gash’s gaze smoothed over her shoulders and settled on her heaving chest, and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath.

“Mine,” he growled softly.

Eyes never leaving her, he tugged at the hem of his black t-shirt and jerked upward until it was over his head. Slowly, he balled it up and then tossed it to the floor. He was a wall of muscle. Wide shoulders that cut into a narrower torso, and so many ridges she couldn’t possibly count them all. Though she’d definitely be trying in the future because she wanted to lick and bite each one.

His chest bowed out at her perusal, and a soft purr coated his throat.

Bravely she met his gaze. One more question, and then she was letting go of these last strands of uncertainty.

“Mine?” Her voice was so quiet it would take his feline ears to hear it, barely more than a breath.

“Yes, mate. Only yours. Never anyone else’s. Never again.”

In one step, he was to her, his hand curving around her breast reverently. Bailey watched, loving the way his lighter skin looked against her darker tone. He was honey and she was deep bronze, and his hands looked so damn good touching her like no man ever had before. Like she was cherished.

Wrapping one arm around her waist, he hauled her close and lowered his tongue to her taut nipple. His mouth on that tender spot felt like a sensual fire, and it was spreading. Over her chest where it branched off, one side zapping heat to her cheeks while the other arrowed straight between her legs.

Bailey moaned, unable to help herself, and Gash pulled back to draw in a deep breath.

“Aw, Bailey. You smell like miracles and desire, and I never want to forget this.”

She curved a palm around his cheek, the scarred one, letting their bond relay her feelings. “You won’t. Because this is just the beginning.”

His cat flickered behind his eyes and Bailey wondered if her tiger was doing the same.

“I’m going to mark you, Bailey. If you don’t want that, you have to tell me now because once I’m inside you, I don’t know if I can keep my cat from going all the way. I can’t imagine not making you mine for good.”

His words sounded like a threat, but Bailey wasn’t scared. Her tiger had been waiting for this, and she was ready. All she’d needed was his assurance that he was in this for the long haul. There would be details to work out in the future. Threats to deal with and hurts to heal. But not going forward now, when she knew how strongly Gash felt for her, how strongly she felt for him… well, it seemed
wrong
.

“I want that very much,” she whispered, tracing the scar on his cheek with her thumb.

With another soft growl, he captured her lips and twisted her around to land on the bed beneath him. His body was solid, anchoring her to the mattress for his attention. Her tiger writhed inside, anxious to feel all of him. Hungry open-mouth kisses made the trail across her jaw and down the column of her neck, between the valley of her breasts, and ended with a lick circling her belly button.

“Beautiful,” he breathed. “So beautiful.” He wasn’t talking to her though. More like he was mumbling to himself, unable to hold it back. “Have to see more of you.”

Rising up on his knees, he hooked his fingers in the waist of her leggings and tugged them over her hips, stalling with the fabric around her thighs. Underneath, she wore only a cotton thong—to avoid panty lines of course, but now with Gash staring down at her like she was a goddess, it made her feel sexy.

With one finger, he traced the edges where they dipped into the crease of her thighs. Stealthily, he tucked one finger under the fabric to touch her, his eyes fluttering shut when he felt the wetness he’d caused.

Bailey gasped, biting her lip to contain a moan, her hips pushing up to feel more of his touch. Jerking his hand from her panties, he brought it to his mouth and sucked.

“Yes,” he murmured, nodding like he’d come to a grave decision. “That’s mine, and I’m going to lick the fuck out of it.”

In the next breath, he’d ripped the thong away and peeled her leggings down to her ankles. It all happened so fast, Gash’s words had barely registered by the time he’d settled between her legs, shoulders braced under her thighs. His hands spreading her wide, his hot breath on her most sensitive parts, it was enough to drive her wild.

And that was when she heard it. The urgent purr vibrating her chest. Her tiger was so close, wanting her mate. Rabid for him.

Gash stared up at her from between her legs, his eyes going all cat for a brief moment. He let out a warning hiss, and then lowered his tongue, giving her a long lick up her center.

Bailey yelped at the sensation, and his mouth curved in a satisfied grin. “My tigress likes that,” he murmured.

“Yes, yes.”

Holding her quivering legs, he licked and sucked until she was breathless and straining for release. Then he surged up, taking her mouth again, his tongue diving in and shocking her with the taste of her own arousal.

Reaching between them, she searched out his erection, only to find the rough fabric of his jeans. Bailey’s turn to hiss. She wanted to touch him.
Now
. She’d shred the jeans. Her claws were out enough to do it. They’d cut through the fabric like butter, and then she’d have all of him.