Shadow of Doubt (11 page)
Authors: Melissa Gaye Perez
“No!” he snapped back immediately as if she were crazy. “It's too dangerous.”
“Oh please. I just wanna see what it feels like to go that fast. Please,” she begged on.
“No! He snapped again and finished his descent into the car. “Now get back and stay out of the damn way.” He squealed away and Dolly moped back to where Martin and the rest of the guys were waiting.
Martin put his arm around her shoulder laughing. “Don't worry sug, he'll get used to you sooner or later. Maybe. Wanna have dinner with me again tonight?”
“No. I wanna ride in that car,” she pouted dreamily as she pushed his arm off of her shoulder. She could see the other guys glance over at them and giggle as they mumbled amongst themselves.
“He's
not
gonna let you ride with him,” Martin answered rather sure of himself.
“Why not? There's not that many cars out here today. It's not that dangerous.”
“Because Jordan doesn’t like women cramping his style, that's why. I've told you that before.”
“We'll just see about that,” she retorted as she watched Jordan again approach them. Martin leered at her unusual expression and grinned as he went over to talk to Jordan. Dolly followed and stayed at Jordan's side. She wanted this man badly and wasn't about to let Martin interfere with that any longer. She had made up her mind not to let him intimidate her relationship with Jordan another second.
Maybe Martin was right. Maybe Jordan didn't want a woman around, but she had every intention of proving him wrong. Somehow she would make Jordan realize they could be happy together even if she
never
regained her memory.
“Why won't you take me for a ride Jordan?” she asked again with persistence in her voice now.
Jordan turned and faced her. “Don't ask me again. You’re fixing to piss me off. Now c'mon, we're going home.” He turned and headed for the trailer. Dolly kept up with his steady fast pace the best she could.
“Why don't you like me?” she asked wanting to find out his true feelings. If she had any chance at all of building a relationship with this man, she had to know what his true feelings were for her.
“Who said I don't,” he asked as he began backing up his truck to the trailer.
“You keep ignoring me.”
“I'm just busy that's all.”
“You're not too busy now,” she replied as he hooked up the trailer and then went inside to make sure everything was put away and ready to travel.
“I'm trying to get us home is all,” he retorted, annoyed as he came to look her in the eye.
Dolly slid her arms up his chest and stared him back. “Are we really in a big hurry?”
Jordan seemed stunned but pulled her against his body. Dolly felt weak as he kissed her hard and held her tightly against him at last. She could hardly breathe and her heart raced wildly, then he pulled away just as suddenly and looked at her.
“Was that as good as Martin's kiss?” he asked sarcastically then he let her go and hurried out the door.
Dolly stood stunned for a second trying to re-group and catch her breath from his powerful passion. “He
does
care,” she realized as she slowly emerged from the trailer and closed the door. “He's just jealous, that's all.”
She slid into the truck where Jordan silently waited for her. He started the engine the minute she got in and they began their journey back to Daytona.
“Why wouldn't you take me for a ride in your car today?” she asked again not caring if she angered him anymore. She felt there was more to it than his masculinity of not wanting a woman riding with him.
“It's a long story,” he answered not at all seeming mad this time.
“It's a long drive home.”
Dolly felt brave as a grin formed on his face now and he looked at her with a smile.
“Tell me about it.”
“It happened five years ago,” he began slowly. “I took my mom with me all the time. She loved it.” Then he paused awhile thinking.
“So why wouldn't you take me?”
Jordan glanced in her direction quickly then watched the road while he again spoke. “I crashed the car Dolly and she didn't make it.”
Dolly looked shocked now. Horrified. Now she knew his real fear. He'd lost his mother and feared hurting anyone else. He must feel that it's his fault his mother died in that crash.
“Oh Jordan, I'm so sorry. But that doesn't mean it'll happen again,” she replied trying to reassure him. Make him feel a little better. He seemed awfully disturbed by it.
“I know it won't happen again. Because I don't intend to let it happen.”
“It was an accident Jordan you can't be blaming yourself for what happened.”
“She shouldn't have been in that car with me! I should never have allowed it.”
“But you said she loved it. You were only making your mother happy.”
Jordan looked at her blankly a moment then sat in silence for a long time. “You're right you know,” he nearly whispered at last, his voice low and calm. “She waited nearly every day at the track just so she could ride in that car.”
Dolly didn't answer this time. She only felt relaxed now as she closed her eyes and leaned her head against the door of the truck, seeking comfort and rest. Fatigue was finally setting in.
“Don't do that,” Jordan interrupted as she began to doze off to sleep.
“But I'm tired Jordan. I don't think I can stay awake much longer.”
“No...I mean don't lean on the door like that,” he chuckled then reached over and grabbed her arm, pulling her toward him. “You outta know better than that.”
Dolly didn’t resist, she cuddled comfortably next to him as he slid his arm around her shoulder then glanced up seeing him smile while he looked straight ahead at the road. She wasn't sure if he was smiling while remembering the good times he had with his mother, or if he was happy to be with her. It didn't matter though, he was happy and Dolly was glad she could help.
It was nearly dawn when they arrived at Jordan's beach house. They had driven all night. He stopped the truck and Dolly awoke when she felt the warmth leave her shoulder when he moved his arm away to put the truck into park.
“I can't believe I slept that long,” she stated with a yawn as she scanned her familiar surroundings.
Jordan smiled and helped her out of the truck. “Now it's my turn. Think you can be quiet while I crash for a while? I'm really tired.”
Dolly wasn't sure if he was teasing or if he was trying to get rid of her again. “Sure I can. I told you I wouldn't get in your way,” she answered softly. “I'll just get Myron and let him run around the beach.”
“He'll be glad to get out of that pen, thanks.”
“Want some breakfast first?” she then offered. She waited patiently for his reply.
Jordan's eyes caught her anxious glare. “All right. But make it quick would you? Before I pass out,” he then implied not wanting to hurt her feelings. He knew she was trying her best to get along.
She turned the small pooch loose then ran up the stairs to the kitchen. “So when's you're next race?” she asked solemnly as she cracked the eggs into the pan and began his meal.
Jordan sat on the counter next to the stove and watched her. Dolly loved his presence and felt so complete when he was around. She knew he cared for her too, but wasn't sure how much. All she thought about was how she could please him.
“We're going to Georgia in a few days,” he answered grinning as his eyes scanned her finely tanned arms. “If you're still here that is.”
“We? You don't mind me tagging along again?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“You could leave me here.”
“For what? So you can run off again? No thanks. Besides, I’d be losing a good cook.” They grabbed their plates and sat together at the table.
“Cook huh? Is that why you keep me around? So I can cook for you?”
“That and I can't stand that place Lydia took you too. Gives me the creeps.”
Dolly felt a little disappointed by his answer, but didn't pursue the subject any further. He was tired and irritable and she didn't want him to yell at her again.
Jordan finished his breakfast and made his way to his bedroom. Dolly cleaned up the kitchen, changed into her swim suit and took a walk on the beach. It was early August now and the days seemed more beautiful with each passing hour. It had been almost two months now since Jordan had found her lying there unconscious and Dolly couldn't imagine life without him. She swam awhile and picked up a few seashells, then felt frustrated to see Martin approaching her from a distance.
“Can't this guy just disappear?” she thought as she produced a fake smile, pretending to be happy to see him. She didn't much care for him anymore after the kiss. The kiss he had forced on her. But he is Jordan's best friend so she thought it best to be nice to him. She was an outsider and the last thing she wanted was to cause friction between these two people.
“Good morning sunshine,” he cheerfully greeted and again threw his arm around her neck. “Jordan around?”
“No. He's been sleeping a few hours now,” she answered wanting to grab his head and hold it under the water, but simply removed his arm from her body instead. “Why don't you have lunch with me then? I'm sure he'd never know you were gone.”
“I really can't. I need to fix Jordan's lunch soon and get him up or he won't be able to sleep tonight.”
“Oh c'mon. We can bring him something from town,” he persisted as he turned her body, forcing her to face him.
Dolly quickly pulled his arms from her waist. “No. I don't wanna have lunch with you,” she stated strongly. “And I wish you'd quit pestering me...I'm NOT interested.”
Martin smiled as if he were amused by her reactions. This infuriated her even further as she angrily awaited his smart reply.
“You really think Jordan's gonna fall for you don't ya? Well, he's not, so you may as well quit wishing and quit trying. He's too independent to let himself get tied down.”
“It's really none of your business is it?” she angrily blurted as she now stomped her way toward the house. Martin grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him again.
“I've been his best friend for years. I know him better than you ever will.”
“So you think I should date
you
instead? Huh? Forget it! And some fine friend you are at that! Now take your hands off of me!”
Martin kept his silly grin but removed his grasp. “You'd have more fun with me ya know?”
Dolly gritted her teeth but couldn't control her rage. She flung her arm through the air and slapped his face. “You're disgusting, you know that?” she yelled, then ran up the stairs. She heard Martin's car door slam from behind her and knew he was finally leaving, but she never looked back. She didn't want him to think she cares, because she doesn't.
When she entered the living room much to her surprise, she was startled to see Jordan leaning against the inside of the door in his blue jean shorts and white t-shirt…beer in hand.
“Lover's quarrel?” he asked smugly as he then strolled to the couch and sat down. Yet by the snicker on his face and gleam in his eyes she felt he surely knew better.
Dolly's face was already red with fury and her blonde hair glowing against it. “Spying on me?” she accused still breathing abnormally from her anger at Martin. She leaned over the back of the couch so she could look down on him as they spoke.
“Couldn't help it. I don't always wake up hearing all that yelling outside. It's usually rather quiet and peaceful around here.”
“We're not lovers,” she stated bluntly, insulted that he could actually think such a thing. “That's not why he was here.”
“Well, he obviously wasn't here to see me was he?” he retorted smartly.
“I don’t know why he was here!” she yelled out in her own defense.
“Oh yeah? Martin doesn't usually mess with women unless he's getting it,” he answered with certainty. And rather coldly, then simply took another drink of his beer.
“I'm not that kind of woman Jordan,” she insisted. “I thought you knew better than that.”
“Oh no? You were pretty easy going the other night until
I
was the one that stopped things.”
Dolly looked at him sharply and wanted to crawl under the couch and hide, but couldn't move a muscle in her body for a moment. She felt insulted and her eyes were burning. She ran to her bedroom and slammed the door.
“Doesn't he know I love him?” she wondered as she laid face down on her bed sobbing. “Now he thinks I'm easy because I wanted to show him my love. Now he'll never respect me. How could I have been so stupid?”
“Dolly? Dolly?” she heard him call as he knocked at her door. “C'mon, let me in will ya? I didn't mean to make you mad. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings either.”
“Mad?” she thought as she rolled to her back. “Ripped my heart out is more like it. Insulted and humiliated is more like it!”
“Open this door will ya?”
“Go away!”
“Kicking me outta my own house now? Open the damn door!” he demanded, growing angry and banging harder.
“Okay, I'm coming,” she finally gave in, then wiped the tears from her cheeks before unlocking the door.
Jordan opened it slowly. He stared into her hurt eyes and could clearly she see had been crying again.
“I'm sorry okay? I didn't mean to...”
“It's okay,” she cut in. “I understand.”
Jordan fidgeted a second unsure what to do or say next. He couldn't stand it when she cried. “You okay?”
“Yes…I'm fine. I just wanna shower and change so I can fix your lunch.” She wanted to hug his neck and tell him how much she loved him but now felt Martin just might be right. He would never allow himself to feel that way back. Especially with a woman he now thought was “easy”.
“All right,” he mumbled as he closed the door and left her alone.
Now Dolly wasn't sure if he really cared for her at all. Maybe he was just being nice because he felt sorry for her. She showered and changed into her jeans and red pullover shirt and slowly made her way to the kitchen.
Much to her surprise she scanned the already fully set table and looked confused too Jordan who was sitting there waiting for her to come and join him.
“Better hurry before it gets cold,” he insisted, motioning to the already prepared meal on the table. Two toasted poor boy sandwiches complete with fresh lettuce and tomato were awaiting them both.
“What did you do that for? I was gonna fix it.”
“I was bored,” he answered and motioned again for her to sit with him.
They sat together silently. Jordan seemed to be trying now to make amends for his uncalled for accusation about her relationship with Martin. Dolly was afraid to speak at all fearing she'd only make the situation worse.
“I'll get the dishes,” she finally offered as they cleared the table.
“Let'em sit awhile. I need to go to the track. Wanna come along with me?”
Dolly was surprised he had even offered but couldn’t resist the invitation. “I'd love too...that is...if you really don't mind me tagging along.”
Jordan grinned with his sweet lazy grin. “I don't mind. Let me change first.” He disappeared off to his bedroom and changed into his jeans and black muscle shirt.
Dolly waited anxiously in the living room. Finally she walked out on the oversized porch and watched the waves pound the fine white sands of the beach, dreaming of how life would be here forever with Jordan. Nothing seemed to be more realistic and more pleasant to think about now. The possibility that she could actually be married to someone else only occasionally passed through her mind, but she didn't see how it could be. She loved Jordan Scott far too much and no one else could ever change that.
