Shadow of Love (8 page)

She had abandoned her dreams of an artist’s career, the need to take care of her son and put food on the table each and every day forcing her to apply for a job that paid little but came with a daycare possibility. Having no one to look after James, Violet accepted the job happily, her ambition and hopes for a successful career taking a back seat to her love for the little dark-eyed boy who became the center of her life.

Living in one of those horrid high-rise buildings with bullet holes from the gangs fighting each other on the streets of their neighborhood, they managed to survive and even enjoy their existence. Still, James was very lonely, his mom’s exhausting job and lack of family soon pushing him in the wrong direction. There were enough disillusioned, angry boys around to make him realize that he didn’t have to be alone anymore. If he fit in, he could become part of a group. Violet tried to reason with her adolescent son, desperate to keep him away from the influence of the older boys. She knew enough about their scuffles, break–ins, and fights. The fear of her son getting busted by the patrolling police filled her with horror.

Working long hours and attending a community college to finish a computer course that she hoped would broaden her chances for a better job, she had little, if any, time to monitor her son—a son who got caught up with a group of teens who spent their time roughing up the neighborhood.

Watching Sophie approach, her immaculate clothes and sparkling jewelry as perfect as a picture from a glossy magazine, he wondered what she would say if she had known him back then? Would she run away, her lovely face marred in a grimace of disgust and terror?

In a dark hoodie pulled over his long hair, he had walked the streets of his neighborhood with a knife in the pocket of his baggy jeans and a smirk on his half-childish face. He felt invincible back then, an exhilarating sense of freedom and power making him less and less receptive to his mom’s pleading to stop meeting up with the older boys. They were everything he wanted to be, and he was eager to prove himself worthy of their attention. He got his chance sooner than he had ever planned, as they included him in their plan to rob the local grocery store. James would be a lookout, his eyes and ears a safety net for the older boys looting the shelves of the supermarket.

What would his fiancée say if she knew that about his past?

He had to stop himself from smiling ironically as he imagined her shock. And what about Emily? Her expressive eyes could never in a thousand years hide her true reaction to knowing that he was nothing more than a common thief—a thief who had escaped the punishment of the law only because he was twelve at the time and because there was someone at the police station who had seen him as more than yet another juvenile criminal who deserved nothing more but time at the juvie.

Would she shrink back from him, her lovely face pale and fearful? For one second he almost wanted to say it out loud, if only to test his theory about the family that had become a part of his life without knowing how deeply they had already impacted him with their actions.

‘
Em, you look positively sick.’ Sophie was there, her arm going around her sister’s tiny waist as she watched her, not so much with concern but rather with interest, as one might watch an insect struggling to escape from a jar where it was trapped. ‘Are you ok? James, what have you done to her?’ She turned to him, her playful smile belying any serious thought behind her remark.

‘
Nothing. He was very nice, Soph.’ Emily cleared her throat, her smile radiant. If he hadn’t known any better, he would have believed that she was absolutely fine. Which was only one more proof of the fact that he couldn’t trust anyone of that household, however tempting it might have been.

‘
Good.’ Mollified, Sophie took her place at the table, leaning to him and whispering confidentially, ‘I didn’t want to tell mom about our engagement before we eat, James. It will be quite shocking to her, even though she seems to have taken a liking to you, darling.’

He knew that. In the short conversation with Marlene, James noticed the older woman’s almost obsessive affection for her daughter, her blue eyes lingering on the girl’s face with pride and love. For one short second, something like a swift stab of regret or even shame paralyzed his entire body. If he went along with his plan, Marlene would be just as much of a casualty as her lovely daughters.

She deserved it. He calmed his conscience instantly, his compassion fading as he remembered her role in the tragedy from the past. She was self-centered, cold-blooded, and manipulative. The only person that mattered to her at all was sitting next to him, her easy chatter allowing him to switch off and think of the next step of his plan.

He heard Emily answer, her pleasant voice surprisingly soothing to his tense nerves. He looked at her inconspicuously, once again surprised at his brain’s unexpected folly that complicated the rather simple plan of action. He remembered her from the past, even if it was a rather vague memory, a kind of a distant picture really. She couldn’t have known it, of course, as they never had spoken.

But he recalled her with a disturbing vividness, her slim, dark-haired form huddled on the hospital chair next to her stepfather’s room. She was crying, and a nurse came and offered her a drink. The girl’s pale face had lifted long enough for him to see her properly for the first time. She was very young, a teenager. And yet she was breathtakingly beautiful. His eyes had followed the pure lines of her slim, oval face that was streaked with tears.

For a second, he had forgotten how to breathe, forgotten why he was there in the first place. All he could do was to stare at her. He wanted to step closer and ask her why she was here if, according to his sources, both she and her family had been responsible for the whole unholy mess in the first place. Neither her stepmother nor her stepsister had any qualms about abandoning the man whom they had destroyed with their accusations. What made her come there, day after day, if he was to believe the nurse that told him about her visits?

In the end he didn’t. He chose to keep his distance, his anger and bitterness putting her back to her rightful place together with her family. He worried that if he opened his mouth and looked into her eyes, he would start screaming at her all his frustration and pain, the carefully built walls of self-control crumbling into a tsunami of fury. He didn’t want to hear her side of the story, because there simply wasn’t one to be heard. The net of lies that had suffocated her stepfather was nothing more than that: lies produced by a family that she had so obviously supported. If coming here and watching him lie motionlessly in his bed was some kind of therapy for her guilty conscience, so be it.

And then she stopped coming. He would not admit it to himself, but he found himself watching the corridor more than once, expecting to see her again. He knew the sound of her footsteps, light and airy like the walk of a dancer or an elf, barely touching the glossy floor.

‘
Ms. Marrows?’ One of the waiters broke into his musing. ‘I need to talk to you for a moment, please. It’s important.’

Whatever it was, it couldn’t be pleasant, the man’s obvious discomfort clear as he cast panicked glances toward the door.

‘
Oh, come on. We’re having a brunch here.’ Sophie wasn’t in any rush to move from her seat, her blue eyes reproachful as she added, ‘Can’t it wait for a bit, John?’

‘
I’m afraid not.’ He didn’t give up, his face folded into a careful smile that didn’t reach his eyes. ‘We seem to be having a small problem in the kitchen, and it would be better if you came with me.’

‘
Well, Em, isn’t it your kingdom?’ Relieved to have found such a simple and obvious solution, Sophie grinned impishly, before waving the man away. ‘Be an angel, and check it out for me, please. It can’t be too bad, after all.’

If Emily didn’t like being delegated to deal with whatever caused the waiter to seem as jittery as a young foal, she hid it well. He watched her nod calmly as she rose from her seat in one fluid motion that did wonders to the way her dress molded itself to her slim silhouette. She was beautiful without even trying, as she walked away, leaving him with his fiancée.

‘
Oomph, Miss Prim-and-Proper has left the building.’ Sophie giggled, her dark eyelashes batting coquettishly as she moved closer, one slender thigh brushing his leg. Obviously, she hoped for some of the intimacy he was so unwilling to provide. They had kissed a few times, if only because he saw no other way to keep her on track. She was a good kisser, too. He knew enough women to tell that she must have had quite a few experiences to learn her seductive ways.

Which was fine with him, he thought grimly, disappointed with his own treacherous body. He could have at least enjoyed that part of their relationship, if nothing else. She was beautiful and extremely sensual, and any red-blooded man would enjoy physical contact with her under any condition. Sleeping with her would be easy; she had made sure he understood that from the moment they met.

Only he found himself unable to do so, every cell of his body rebelling against a mindless coupling that would be nothing but a perk of his otherwise unpleasant task. He might despise her and have his own plans to teach her a lesson she well deserved, but using her in the most basic way imaginable was something that went well beyond his own boundaries of decency and self-respect.

‘
Are you ready to be thrown to the lions?’ She noticed his reluctance to do anything more than smile at her and chose to be gracious about it, even though her face showed annoyance for a second or two. ‘My mom is finally done talking to her girlfriends, and I think this would be a great time to share our news with her. What do you think?’

He thought it was a great idea. Especially if she decided to spread the word to as many people as possible, breaking it to everyone here to start with. The more people who knew about their engagement, the better. The pieces of the puzzle he had decided to create ever since a twist of fate brought him to the party both he and Sophie attended were falling into place much faster than he ever could have hoped for.

‘
I am as ready as I will ever be, my sweet.’ He grinned and was pleased to notice that she was still totally under his spell. It made things so much easier.

‘
We should head up to her, then.’ Sophie nodded her blond head towards the bar, impatience coloring her voice. ‘She was supposed to come sit with us a while ago, but as it goes, it may take ages before we get her here.’

He was amazed to see how little she actually cared for her mother’s wellbeing. After all, she had just been released from her psychiatric ward, and he would have imagined her daughter consumed with worry about her finding her way back into society. Or at least, she would be showing some pleasure in the fact that her mother was having a great time, much better than one could hope on such short notice.

‘
Let’s go then.’ He rose to his feet, waiting politely for her to follow his example, and took her arm in an unmistakable gesture of possession. ‘If you are sure that it won’t cause her to have a meltdown.’

They wove their way through the crowd, passing small groups of Sophie’s friends and acquaintances who waved at Sophie and cast curious glances at the man at her side. Marlene was still standing, surrounded by a small group of other middle-aged women, all of them laughing at some joke.

‘
Mommy, I have to tell you something.’ Sophie smiled radiantly, pushing him forward ever so slightly. ‘About James and me, that is.’

‘
Yes?’ Marlene watched them expectantly, her lovely face so much like her daughter’s. ‘What’s the trouble, chickie?’

‘
Nothing at all, Mom.’ Sophie reached out to hug her without letting go of James. ‘I just got engaged, Mommy.’

There was silence, so complete and perfect that he found himself holding his breath waiting for something to break it. Finally, Marlene moved, her face creased into a mischievous smile.

‘
And I am the last one to find out, Sophie? When did this amazing thing happen?’

There was a round of laughter, relief more prevalent than any other reaction he could sense from the people around him.

‘
Yesterday, Mom.’ Sophie was laughing, her curls bouncing around her head like a golden halo. ‘I wanted to wait for a perfect moment to tell you, but you know me, I’m not very good with keeping secrets.’

‘
But that’s huge.’ Marlene shook her head in disapproval, her smile fading slightly as she looked at him critically. ‘I hope that you didn’t try to keep it from me, James?’

‘
I left it to Sophie to decide what would be the perfect time to share it with you.’ A chivalrous nod accompanied his words as he struggled to find the right explanation. He didn’t want her upset or furious, not yet, at least. She should be happy and hopeful, soaring high in the realm of wishful thinking. The fall would come later, he vowed silently, as he shook countless hands and listened to congratulations from all those people around him. And he couldn’t wait for it to happen.

The kitchen was empty. Emily looked around, searching for the problem that she had been sent to fix and failing to notice anything out of the ordinary. The food was ready, waiting to be served on the polished silver trays that had been in the family for decades. She could smell the divine fragrance lingering in the low beamed, large room that had been a part of her childhood since the time she learned how to walk.

‘
So, what’s the problem, John?’ She turned to the older man, noticing his visible discomfort. ‘All seems to be fine as far as I can tell.’