Shadows (28 page)

"Are you sure? I mean, you don't have too. I'm
not sure I could pay you what you were making before."

"It doesn't matter, anything is more than I'm
making right now. When can I start?"

"Um, as soon as you like. I have a ton of
boxes I need moved, opened, and unpacked."

"I could start now. I have nowhere to be. I'd
love to get lost in books. It would make for the best
distraction."

"Great. Just follow me into the back. I'll
have to have you fill out a personnel sheet and then you can get
started."

A huge grin spreads across my face. Thump,
thump. I feel it again. It might be slow and just a few beats, but
my heart is working, maybe it can heal after all.

I spend the rest of the afternoon moving boxes
from one pile to another. I had no clue how large their inventory
is. They do a lot of online sales. My drive home is quiet and
peaceful. Trees scattered along the highway are starting to bud,
flowers are popping up, and it’s absolutely beautiful. The closer I
get to the lake, as I drive, the more intense the scenery gets. The
beach gets crowded in the summer time, and people leave their mark
everywhere, it's why I love the drive along the winding roads in
spring and fall. Mother Nature is so beautiful.

Setting my bag down on the kitchen counter, I
call for Robert. He doesn't answer and I yell for him a second
time. There's no response, so I head downstairs in search of my
missing brother. I find Robert sitting at the desk in his room,
with his headphones on. I grab one and lift it, yelling into his
ear, "Hey, jerk face."

"Hey, yourself. You've been gone a while. Did
you find any good books?"

"Some, but I didn't buy any this
time."

"That's probably a good thing, since your
jobless."

"Speaking of jobs, I got one
today!"

"Already? Where?"

"The bookstore. One of the owners broke their
leg, so they can't work. They need help at the store, since they
are now relying on one person to do everything. It's just
temporary, until I find new job, but it counts right?"

"Yes, it counts. I'm so proud of you for doing
something productive."

My face beams with pride, I'm pretty proud of
myself too.

Robert orders a large pizza for dinner, and we
consume the entire thing as we watch The Princess Bride. I must
have fallen asleep, because I wake up with a blanket covering me. I
look over at the television noticing it's been turned off. I look
around and find only the light to the stairs has been left on. At
least he thought of that. Grabbing my phone, so I can charge it, I
head downstairs. I strip my clothes off, and slip into a rather
large oversized t-shirt. As my face hits my pillow, I realize how
tired I really am. I close my eyes and drift off to
sleep.

I'm sitting on the edge of pier
with my toes dangling over crystal clear water. Looking beneath me,
I see the most colorful fish I've ever seen. Everything is so
perfect, it's like a photograph or a painting. Everything is
positioned just so. Someone grabs my hand, I turn to look at them,
and it’s Matt. He's sitting beside me, his jeans are rolled up
around his calves, and his toes dip into the water. His gorgeous
blonde hair is perfect as well his smile. I can even see his
dimple. I so badly want him to be real. Warm tears slide down my
face. It's odd how real this dream feels to me.

"Eve, do you dream of
me?"

"Sometimes."

"I miss you."

"I miss you, too. Why did you have
to go?"

"I don't know. I was supposed to,
I guess."

"I would have loved you. I would
have tried my hardest. I want you back. I want you here with me.
You would know what I'm supposed to do next. You're my best friend
and now I'm all alone. I really need you, Matt." Sobs escape my
lips. He pulls me to him, wrapping his arm around my
shoulders.

"I know, Eve. I'm sorry I'm not
there. I wish I could be, but you know what?"

I sniffle, "What?"

"You did love me. Unconditionally,
even. We were best friends. It’s not something easily dismissed. I
just couldn't give you what you needed, what you
deserved."

"And what is that?"

"Fireworks, Eve. I can’t offer you
fireworks, but he can." Matt points to a boy walking along the edge
of shore. He turns to face us, taking off his sunglasses, beautiful
eyes stare back at me. I'm instantly lost in his gaze, I move
towards him like a moth to a flame. As he approaches me his
features shift. He's older now, with broad shoulders and hair just
below his ears. I reach for him, running my hands across his jaw,
feeling his soft stubble beneath my fingers. Looking up into his
eyes, I notice how one is emerald green and the other is a deep
golden brown. I turn to look back at Matt. He's standing looking
over his shoulder, the sweetest smile graces his face. "He's your
fireworks, Eve."

I feel myself pulled to the other
man. "Theron."

"I miss you, Eve. Come
home."

"Not yet."

"When?"

"When I don't feel so empty
anymore, when I feel like me again."

"I love you, beautiful." He gently
places a kiss on my forehead. I close my eyes for a brief second.
When I open them, they are both gone and I'm all alone sitting on
the edge of pier.

"Eve!"

My eyes flutter. I swear I heard someone
calling my name.

"Eve!"

Sitting up, I rub my hands over my face. My
cheeks are damp.

"Eve!"

"What?"

"Turn off your damn alarm. I can't believe you
didn’t hear it going off. The damn thing is loud enough to wake the
neighbors."

"Screw off, Robert." Reaching over, I grab my
phone from the floor, and silence my alarm. "There. Is that
better?"

"Yes, thank fuck. Why do you have your alarm
set anyways?"

"I'm working at the bookstore today. I
promised Olivia I would be in by nine."

"You better hurry then. It's already
eight."

"Shit. I really did over sleep." I jump up out
of bed. Quickly grabbing a pair of jeans and a shirt, I head to the
shower. This has to be the fastest shower I've ever taken in my
entire life. I comb my wet messy hair into a bun, throw on my
clothes, and grab my purse before I head out the door. I have
twenty minutes before my shift starts. Sliding into my car, I wish
I was driving Badass instead. I miss that car, I miss Theron too.
From what I can remember from my dream, Matt told me Theron is my
fireworks. My mom warned me not to get burned, but it happened
anyways. I really want to see Theron again, but first I'm going to
talk to Isa. Maybe she can help me understand
everything.

It seems I'm lucky today. I've found a front
parking spot right in front of the bookstore. I turn off the car
and grab my phone. I'm not sure if it's the anticipation from
calling Isa or beginning my shift at the bookstore, but I can feel
my heart thumping in my chest. My lungs are tight, but I feel my
heart expand. I can do this. I send Isa a text asking if we can
meet tomorrow while the guys are at the Cub's game. I'm not ready
to see Theron in person, until I know exactly what's going on. I
won't be able to pull myself away from him again.

Walking in to the bookstore, I hear the
familiar ring from the bells above the door. It doesn't take me
long to fall into a routine here. I'm in the back surrounded by
boxes, trying to figure out a way to sort their online orders.
Absolutely nothing is organized. It's taking forever to search for
things to fill each order one by one. I start cutting the tops off
the boxes, then I lay them on their sides. Grabbing a marker and
tape, I start labeling the boxes by genre. I sort the books by
audience range, genre, and then alphabetically. I'm not sure how
long I have been back here, but I now have twelves rows of boxes
stack three high against the back wall. This is going to be so much
easier.

"Oh my word. What is all of this?"

Standing up from the floor, I wipe my arm
across my forehead. "Um, sorry. I guess I got carried away. I
couldn't find anything and then this kind of happened.
Sorry."

Olivia walks along the boxes and glances back
at me. "I was just coming back here to let you know you have a
visitor. I had no idea you were knee deep in organizing my
mess."

"Sorry. I had an idea and I just kind of went
with it."

"Don't apologize. This is amazing. Anyways,
you have a visitor up front."

"Did they say who they were?"

"Yes, um, Kelly or maybe it was
Katie."

"Kayla?"

"Yes, that's it. Kayla is here for you. Go
ahead out front. Take a break, Evelyn, you've been working
hard."

I wipe my palms on my jeans as I head to the
front counter. My stomach is sinking with every step I take. Kayla
is leaning with her back against the counter. I freeze mid-step.
What the hell am I supposed to say to her? What does she know? How
did she find me? The last time I saw her she stormed off,
completely pissed at me. I debate turning around and going back to
help Olivia, but I think better of it. Robert is right. I need to
grow up and deal with everything. I close my eyes, take a deep
breath in through my nose, and walk over to the counter. I'm not
sure what to say to her, so I say the first thing that comes to
mind. "So, you found me."

"I did. Didn't think you would be hiding from
me though."

"I'm not hiding from you, I'm hiding from
everyone. I just need to be me for a little while."

"So, do you want to get lunch or something? We
could go across the street if you want."

Ricci's is across the street. I've avoided
looking at it since Matt died. I can still see him falling onto the
sidewalk, the melting snow turning red.

"No!" It takes me a second to realize I was
the one that screamed. "Sorry. I mean, no thank you. I don't think
I'll ever be able to go there again."

"I didn't think. Maybe we can just take a walk
then?"

"Sure. Let me grab my sweater." I grab my
sweater walking into the back room, and peak my head inside. Olivia
is still mesmerized by my makeshift shelves. "Olivia, I'm going to
take a quick walk. I promise I won't be gone long."

"No problem, sweetie. Take your time with
Kerry."

She's never going to get her name right. Kayla
and I walk around the corner towards the courtyard. I take a seat
on one of the stones surrounding the fountain. "Do you think if I
wish really hard, it will come true?"

"I don't know, Eve. What's the wish?" Sitting
beside me, Kayla reaches into her purse and pulls out a penny.
"Here. Try it."

I take the penny and feel its weight in my
hand. The coin is light, but my wish feels heavy. I toss it into
the fountain, and close my eyes as tight as I can. When I open
them, everything is the same. So much for wishes. "It didn't
work."

"What was your wish?"

"For things to be different. For Matt to be
here when I open my eyes, to be back with Theron at his place, and
for you and me to be friends again."

"Oh, quit being such a whiny bitch already.
We've all lost someone dear to us, Eve. Give it up already. I
didn't hunt you down to watch you wallow in self-pity. I came here
to apologize to you. I shouldn't have doubted you, I was
jealous."

"Jealous? Jealous of what? No, wait. Don’t say
anything. It's fine. It doesn't matter now."

"Have you talked to him?"

"Not yet. I hope I can see his gram tomorrow.
I miss her."

"Whatever you do, you need to do it fast. He
came to my place looking for you. He doesn't know where you are.
Your parents aren't telling him anything and neither has Robert. I
don't see it staying a secret long since we are going to the game
with him tomorrow."

"Who's we?"

"Robert, Paul, and me."

"So, my boyfriend hides shit from me, his
father absolutely hates me, his ex-fiancé was hired to be my boss,
and no one, but me has an issue with this?"

"He was engaged?"

"Yes, to Bridgette. She knew who I was and
played me like a fool. I'm sure she felt amazing crushing me like a
small insect under her shoe."

"Oh, I didn't hear that part. All I know is
Theron's dad, bought National Clerk Accounts after he found out you
worked there. He wanted to destroy you, but Theron found out.
That's why he kept asking you to come home."

"Why didn't he just tell me that? Why did I
have to find out in a public restaurant, he used to be engaged to
my boss? You should have seen her face Kayla, it was complete evil
when she watched him walk into the restaurant. Oh, my God! Thomas
set me up. I bet he hired that bitch on purpose. To hell with this
shit. I don't want any of this drama."

"Eve, stop. Listen to yourself. You're going
to give up on him, just because you had a little bump in the
road?"