Shadows (31 page)

"You. Are. Mine." He growls, clenching his
jaw. I feel his cock jump, his release filling me, and igniting
another orgasm. My body spasms around him, as he stills his
movements, his cock still jerking inside me. "Beautiful, don't ever
walk away from me again."

A tear slips from my eyes, as I recall the
betrayal I felt earlier. His secrets, seem so trivial now. Why did
I keep myself from him? This is where I belong. He pulls himself
from me, and I gasp at the emptiness I now feel. Lifting me, he
lays me on the bed so I'm wrapped in his arms, our legs a tangled
mess. My breathing is starting to slow, and my eyes feel so
incredibly heavy. I lay my head on his chest, and close my eyes.
Everything feels so right.

I open my eyes to find myself back
at the beach. I'm sitting on a blanket watching two children play
in the water. I don't know them, but they look strangely
familiar.

"That's your future."

I turn my head and find Matt
sitting beside me. He's in a white polo shirt, cargo shorts, and
has on very dark sunglasses. "Matt." My voice my breaks.

"Shh. It's okay. You don't have to
say a word just listen. That right there, is your future. It's your
happily ever after." I glance to wear he's pointing and I see
Theron playing with the children in the water.

"Are they real? Are they
mine?"

"Not yet, but they could be. Let
him love you, let him take care of you."

"I'm trying."

"No, I know you. You are hiding
because you are scared of being hurt. Let it go. He needs you. You
need him. You're meant to be."

I watch Theron splash with the
children in the water. I can hear their laughter, and my heart
soars with hope. I turn to look at Matt, noticing his sunglasses.
"Why the glasses?"

"Because you don't need to see me
anymore, you have him." He nods towards Theron. As I watch him, I
feel a gentle breeze caress my cheek. I turn back to Matt, but he's
gone. Tears stream down my face, but I finally feel at
peace.

"I love you, Matt. I'm sorry I
never told you sooner, but I love you so incredibly
much"

"I know you do, beautiful. I love
you, too."

I hear the words whisper in my
ear. A smile spreads across my face, as I say my last
goodbyes.

"I'm not your beautiful, I'm
his."

My pillow is damp from my tears. Why are my
dreams always so real? I roll over onto my back, rubbing my eyes
with my hands. I feel loved and content. I should never have ran
from Theron. I stretch my hand out reaching for him, but all I feel
is emptiness and cold sheets. I open my eyes, sitting up I search
the room for him. Glancing around, I notice my clothes are still
strewn across the room, but his are gone. I quickly throw on a
t-shirt and some shorts as I head upstairs, in search of him. I
walk into the living room, but I find it empty. I head into the
kitchen and everything stops. A magnet is holding a ripped sheet of
paper on the fridge. My heart is pounding as I take the note down.
Five words have completely destroyed my world.

I'm letting you go.

-Theron

A sob escapes my lips followed by a shrill
scream. I try to look around for what causes the noise and I
realize it's me as I fall onto the kitchen floor.

"Eve? What the fuck was that sound?" Robert is
standing in the entrance to the kitchen. I can't speak, tears
stream down my face. I hold the note I have tightly gripped in my
hand out for him to take. Grabbing the note, he picks me up from
the floor setting me back on my feet. "Is this from
Theron?"

I nod my head. I feel hollow and empty as I
head for the stairs. I'm lost and broken. I crawl into my bed,
burying myself beneath my covers. I can hear Robert pacing upstairs
above me. He's talking to someone, but I'm not sure who until I
hear him yell, "You stupid mother fucker! You fucking broke her. I
don't give a shit what she fucking said. You're a dead man. You
stay the fuck away from her! Do you hear me? I don't want you near
her. Are you fucking kidding me right now? Go to hell,
Theron!"

I clench my eyes tight as another sob rips
through my heart. Fucking Matt, making me feel like things were
fixed. Fucking Theron, making me feel love for him, and making me
feel like I need him. Fuck them both. They both left me ripped open
and exposed. Fuck this. Fuck feeling so hurt all the time. I'm so
done with this shit. I walk to the bathroom completely pissed off
and determined not to let them get the best of me. I turn the water
on and take a hot shower. I let the water pelt my back, scalding me
as it washes away my pain. I stand under the shower head until the
water turns cold, and I feel completely numb.

I'm brushing my hair sitting on my bed, when
Robert knock on my door. "Are you decent?"

"I have clothes on.” I hear the doorknob
click, and Robert stands just on the other side of the
door.

"Can I come in?"

"It's your house."

"It is, but I'm asking permission,"

"Fine." I watch him walk into my room, pacing
back and forth. He trying to gather his thoughts. It doesn't
matter. Whatever he has to say won't change anything.

"He's an asshole. I don't know what happened,
but when I got home last night and saw his car, I just thought you
guys worked it out. I thought you came to your senses, but now I
see why you didn't want to see him."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not. He fucking left you in the
middle of the night, and he couldn't even talk to you. He ran like
a scared child leaving a note behind."

"It's fine. I'm done with it. Look, I've had a
rough start to my day. I'm going to go back to sleep like it never
happened. Wake me, only if you are dying or the house is on fire."
I crawl into bed and turn my back to him. I don't care what Theron
said to him on the phone and I don't want any pity. I just want to
be left alone. I hear Robert sigh, then my door closes. I let out a
deep breath. I close my eyes, one lonely tears slides down my face,
and I decide that's the last one I will cry over any of this. I
fall asleep building a brick wall around my heart. I don't dream. I
fall into a dark void, and my mind finally comes to a
rest.

Chapter 19

I
'm sitting on the
floor in the back room of the bookstore. I'm knee deep in new
orders. Ever since I showed Olivia how to use her website to its
potential, and a quicker more efficient way to track her inventory,
her online business has taken off. She's even adapted a new used
book program. People can now sell back their gently used books,
instead of trading them in for store credit. Her inventory had
immensely increased, and with cash in their hands, people tend to
spending right back in the store. I check my phone for the time.
It's almost one o'clock. I'm meeting Kayla for lunch today as I
have done every day for the past few weeks.

Brushing my hands off on my jeans, I head to
front of the store. I find Olivia behind the front counter on the
phone. I mouth to her I'm taking my lunch. She smiles at me and
waves me out of the door. This may not be what I went to school
for, but I am loving the business side to the bookstore.

Kayla is standing outside against the building
waiting for me. She nods towards Ricci's, but I still don't have
the courage to go back there yet. I don't think I ever will. We
walk around the corner and stop at one of the food trucks. I order
us both a sandwich and some drinks. We take our food over to the
courtyard, plopping down on one of the benches.

"Eventually, we are going to have to talk
about this, Eve."

"There's absolutely nothing to talk about.
I've come to terms with everything, and working at the bookstore is
helping immensely."

Kayla sighs. I know it's not what she wants to
hear, but we have had this same discussion every day for a month.
She's relentless. I think she hopes to crack whatever shell she
thinks I'm hiding in. That's just it, I'm not hiding. I've pushed
everything so far down, I can't feel a thing. It may not be the
healthiest version of dealing with things, but it's working so
far.

"Paul says he's beside himself. Theron
mentioned something about his gram, too. I guess she's not feeling
too well lately."

"Kayla, do not use his name."

"Sorry, it slipped."

I doubt it actually slipped. She knows I can't
handle hearing his name. My heart sinks at the thought of something
happening to Isa. She is such a lovely person, I hope she can beat
whatever it is.

"Look, my break is almost over, so I should
go."

"We just sat down. I'm sorry, Eve. Don't
go."

"No, it's fine. I'm not really hungry anyways
today." I stand and toss my sandwich into the closest garbage can.
"Besides, I'm totally swamped with online orders today. Olivia
could really use my help."

I lose myself in book orders and the rest of
the day flies by. It's a little after five when I plop down on my
bed. I've moved most of my stuff into Robert's house now, including
my bed from my old apartment. Sleeping on it has been a dream,
compared to sleeping on the futon. There are no metal bars
underneath my back now.

My phone is laying on the nightstand beside me
bed. It's been quiet except from the occasional text from Kayla or
call from my mom. I close my eyes enjoying the quiet, and the sound
of the waves hitting the beach. My phone rings making me jump.
Grabbing it, I look at the screen to see who it is. Every feeling I
have tried to push down for the past month pushes to the surface.
My phone rings again as I watch Theron's name light up on the
screen. I have no idea why I didn't just delete his number. That's
a lie. I know I kept it, in hopes he would call me or, at least,
attempt to explain on why he walked out on me, on us. I let it go
to voicemail and drop the phone beside me. It stills for a second
and begins to ring again. It's Theron. I hit ignore. He calls three
more times, and each time I hit ignore.

I hear Robert pull into the driveway and the
front door slam open.

"Eve! Eve! Where the hell are you?"

Before I have a chance to answer Robert, my
phone rings again. This time it's from a number I don't recognize.
My stomach sinks as I stare at my phone. Something awful has
happened, I just know it. My phone rings again as Robert runs into
my room. He's completely out of breath. I swipe my screen to answer
the call, and a look of pure fear takes over Robert's
face.

"Hello."

"Eve?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"Eve, I'm so sorry to have to call you like
this."

"Who is this? What's going on?" I look over to
Robert. He's staring at me, trying to judge my reaction to whoever
is on the phone.

"This is Evan. I'm sorry to have to tell you
this, but Isa passed early this afternoon. She had another episode
earlier this week and Theron had her admitted to the hospital.
Thomas came to visit her this morning, while Theron stepped out for
some coffee. She had another stroke after Thomas left, and she
didn't make it."

I'm shaking my head back and forth. This can't
be happening. She was such a wonderful person. My thoughts stray to
Theron, and I can’t imagine his pain. She was the only person he
had left, that was worth anything. My heart stops and my voice is
shaky as I process my next thought. "How is he?"

"That's why I've called you. I tried calling
you from Theron's phone first, hoping you might answer. When you
didn't pick up, I called your brother. He's the one that suggested
I call from this number instead."

"Evan, you didn’t answer my question. How is
he?"

"He's fucked up pretty bad. He's in the
waiting room and is refusing to leave. He's threatened anyone who
comes near him including security. They were going to call the
police, but I've talked them out of it. I promised if they left him
alone, I would get someone to calm him down. So far they've
listened, but I'm not sure how much longer they will be patient.
He's destroyed the room. He needs you, Eve."

"Me? No, you've got to be wrong. He walked out
on me, Evan. He doesn't want me."

"I'm not sure what happened, and I'm sorry if
that may be, but you are the only person I know who can help him
right now. You are all he has. Please, Eve."

I imagine him locked in a room, lonely, and
heartbroken. It kills me. "Okay. I'll come."

"Thank you. I'll be watching for you." He ends
the call and my phone slips from my hands.

Robert looks at me, hurt and pity fill his
eyes. "Do you want me to drive you?"

"Please."

"Okay. I'll be upstairs whenever you're
ready."

I run my hands over my face. How am I going to
help a man who wants nothing to do with me? I take a couple deep
breaths trying to calm my nerves. I toss my phone into my purse,
and slip back into my shoes. My hair is still up in a ponytail and
I smell like musty books, but it will have to do. I nod to Robert
as I walk out the front door. I slide into the passenger seat of
his car. He opens his door and carefully puts on his
seatbelt.