Shadows Amongst Light (The Spy Who Loves Me) (39 page)

             
“Ben, oh my God. I’ve got to go to him.”

             
I reached for the radio and called out to my son.

             
“Ben, it’s me. I’m coming for you. Stay there.”

             
“Cameron, this is Matt. I’m here with your son but he won’t budge until you say its okay.”

             
“Matt?” I said and glanced at Davis who nodded.

             
“It’s okay Cameron. You can trust Matt.”

             
“Ben, baby its okay to go with Matt. He’s a friend of your father’s. He’ll bring you to the house, okay?”

             
“Okay, momma.” Ben’s tiny voice came through loud and clear and I started to cry.

             
“Is it over Davis? Is it really finished?”

             
“I think so. At least as far as Judah’s bloody rule is concerned. There’s still an attack to try to prevent. I don’’ know if we’re going to be able to stop it in time. We were able to get some of Judah’s people talking. The ones that we’re taken into custody, but we may be too late.

             
“We have to get you and Ben out of here still. I know it’s hard,” he said as I continued to cry. “But you have to keep it together. You can’t lose it in front of Ben.”

             
I nodded and glanced down at the man that I’d just killed.

             
“We have to cover him up, Davis. I don’t want to see him like that. I don’t want my son to see him like that, either.”

             
Davis found a blanket and put it over Judah’s lifeless body.

             
“I can’t believe it, Davis. He was going to kill me and Ben wasn’t he. My own brother.”

             
“Cameron, he’s not your brother Cameron,” Davis told me as we stood looking down at the body of the man I believed to be Judah.

             
“What do you mean, he’s not my brother? Of course he’s Judah.”

             
“No, he’s not. His name really is Elijah Jacobs. He took on your brother’s identity after he killed him. I’m sorry Cameron, but Judah has been dead for years.”

             
“But I was so sure...”

             
“I know. I’m embarrassed to say, he had us all fooled for a long time. Shortly before your parents started searching for you brother in that North Carolina town, this person, Elijah Jacobs, recruited him for the purpose of somehow gaining access to your father. I guess he was planning to use your father’s position somehow. But apparently, Judah got wind of it so he had to be killed. Elijah resembled your brother just enough that he believed he could pass for Judah. He wanted your parents to believe he was Judah and apparently, they did for a while.

             
“We now know that they found out the truth and were about to expose the whole thing to the Bureau. That’s why he killed them. Before they could expose the truth. And then he came after you.”

             
“Did Noah know any of this, Davis?”

             
“No, Cameron. None of us knew the truth until just a few days ago.” He stopped and watched me for a moment before adding. “Don’t blame yourself. He fooled an awful lot of people. Elijah Jacobs was good at what he did.”

             
“That’s certainly true enough. He had me fooled. Oh, Davis there’s so much that I don’t understand about all of this.”

             
“I know and you’re not alone. We’re still trying to fit all the pieces together. It will take weeks possibly months to figure it all out. But you need to know one thing. Noah was on your side.”

             
“So, Gina was the mole all along. That spoiled rich girl act of hers really had us all fooled.”

             
“Yes, for a while we weren’t sure who it was. I just got the word of Adam’s death before Judah appeared. When we couldn’t find Gina, well it finally made sense. She certainly was the last person anyone would have suspected. Including her own father.”

             
It felt like hours since Ben and I had fled up that mountain but in reality, it had only been less than an hour.

             
In less than an hour, I’d been responsible for taking two lives. I’d learned that the man I’d believed to be my brother was an imposter.

             
From outside the front door, I heard the sound of Ben and Matt coming up the porch. In a moment, agents would surround this whole place. There wasn’t much time to say all the things I needed to say to Davis.

             
“Davis,” I began but couldn’t seem to find the words. I think he understood.

             
“It’s okay. It’s okay. Come on let’s go through to the kitchen. I don’t think we should stay here. We don’t want Ben to see any of this.”

             
“No, you’re right.”

             
Within minutes after Ben was returned to my arms, dozens of agents descended on the house, combing every square inch of it. While the medical team treated Davis, numerous field agents asked me so many questions that my head began to spin. I marveled that I’d ever been a part of this game before. I’d lived for this moment. Now I only wanted to be alone with my son.

             
I was thrilled to see Matt again even under the circumstances. Shane was there as well. All of us were finding it hard to believe Gina had been the double agent.

             
But no one wanted to talk about Noah. I knew that they had to know something from the way they looked at me with so much pity. But no one wanted to tell me what they knew.

             
Once Davis was patched up, I finally found the strength to ask him about Noah.

             
“Is he dead Davis? Noah’s dead, isn’t he? Tell me, for God’s sake. No one is telling me anything but you know something, don’t they? Tell me what you know, Davis. Is Noah dead? Gina said we were too late...”

             
Davis glanced over to where Ben stood with Matt close by and motioned for him to take my son away for a moment. They went off to look for Bo.

             
“Cameron, we don’t know that. You can’t give up hope.”

             
“No, it’s different this time, Davis. I don’t feel him. He’s dead.”

             
“Cameron, stop it. We don’t know that for certain.”

             
“He was there, wasn’t he? Noah was at the attack. Davis, please...”

             
“Yes,” he admitted reluctantly. “Yes, we know Noah was at the sight of the attack. But Cameron he was able to avert it from happening. Although there have been some casualties. We’re still searching for Noah.”

             
“Oh my God. Davis, I can’t do this,” I told him as he pulled me gently into his arms. “I can’t go through this again.”

             
“Yes, you can baby. Because you don’t have a choice.” I glanced up and saw that he was watching Ben and Matt petting Bo. “You have him to consider. And you don’t know for sure.”

             
“What will happen now?” I asked him wearily.

             
“Well, The Organization’s cover is blown beyond repair, not that there‘s much of its members left anyway. Adam’s dead. His daughter killed him when he found out the truth about her. Matt and Shane will be reassigned.”

             
“As will you?” I added and saw him nod. “Who will take over Adam’s command?”

             
Davis grinned at me and knew the truth. “Well, you’re looking at him honey. I’m the new man in charge. Just got the official word tonight. Apparently, they don’t want to wait, I guess they’re afraid of what might happen next.

             
“Can you believe it? After all those years in the field, I’m being called in. Me in charge.”

             
“You’ll make a great leader, Davis. I’d be proud to serve under you.”

             
Again, that sad little smile of his told me there was more to come.

             
“You won’t have to. All the documents from The Organization have been destroyed. Along with all records of you and Noah. You are now officially done. It’s over for you. You and Noah are just a pain of average run of the mill civilians.

             
“But how?” And then it dawned on me. Davis had done this for us.

             
“Don’t know. Can’t really say. But you have nothing to worry about from us. No one is ever coming after you again.”

             
“You know there are still dozens of terrorists who know who we are, don’t you, Davis?”

             
“Yes, I know. That’s why for a while you and Ben will be taken to another location to live. You’ll have new identities and we’ll keep a close watch over you. But I really think you’re safe this time. It’s over for you.”

             
“Thank you Davis. But how will Noah find us...”

             
I couldn’t finish that statement. I wasn’t sure Noah was alive. I’d lost my connection to him.

             
“He’ll find you, Cameron. I’ll make sure of that.”

             
I could only smile and watch as my son and Bo played together. Oblivious to the truth of what had happened here tonight.

             
“I’ll have to tell him the truth, someday.”

             
“Yes. I wish...” Davis stopped.

             
“What do you wish, Davis?”

             
“I wish so many things, Cameron. I wish that I could stay with you. I wish that I didn’t have to go away. I wish that I were Noah. You know Noah is my best friend. But you’re the only thing I’d never consider destroying that friendship for.”

             
“Davis, you don’t have to leave. Stay with us. Please don’t leave. Ben needs you. I need you.”

             
He smiled and touched my face. “No, as much as I wish that were true, we both know that it isn’t. You don’t need me, you need me to be Noah. I can’t do that.”

             
“Davis that’s not true...”

 
              “Cameron Alexander, you are an extraordinary woman, but it is true. As much as I wished that it weren’t. There’s not enough room in your world or your heart for me. I’d always come in third. Because you’re going to love Noah for the rest of your life. Then you’re going to love Ben. I can’t be third. No matter how much I love you. I can’t do it.”

             
“Will we ever see you again?” I asked accepting the truth of those words. Davis was right. I would never love another man the way that I’d loved Noah. Noah and I were meant to be together long before we understood what that meant.

             
“Oh I’ll never be too far away that you can’t find me. I’ll come to you when you want me, or need me because I can’t help myself. But I can’t stay with you. I’ll say goodbye to the boy before I go. Please, don’t worry about anything. Matt will go with you to your new home.”

             
“Davis, wait.”

             
He turned and saw my fear.

             
“You’ll tell me if you hear anything about...”

             
“Cameron, you know that I will. Not matter what, I’ll tell you the truth.”

             
That night I chose to live my life in the light. I had seen enough darkness and death to last a lifetime. I wanted the light.

             
But I wanted Noah to share that light. If only it wasn’t too late for us? I could only pray that it wasn’t too late.

             
I didn’t know what I would find in our new home. Whether Noah would be there. Whether he had moved on again. Whether I would only be a bitter reminder of the past, he wanted to forget. I didn’t know.

EPILOUGE

             
Ben and I were relocated to a small farming town in Kansas. The Bureau wanted to put us in a largely populated city but I’d had enough of the big city life to last me a lifetime.

             
We were able to take some of our personal things with us, but I was told that the chances of ever returning to the house in Colorado were slim. I hadn’t told my son that.

             
Ben and Bo were beginning to adjust to living in the Midwest but me I missed my home in the mountains.