Shadows in Me (12 page)

Vincent

What the hell just happened? I had just come to talk to Caitlin and all hell broke loose. 

After seeing her yesterday in the window I knew I had to fix things between us, life had been hell without her. I had been a total idiot with this whole Brent thing.  He had come to see me the day before and had told me that nothing had happened between them, as much as he had wanted it to. Caitlin was in love with me.  But they were just good friends.   I hated the guy, but Heather had been telling me the same thing since we had broken up. 

Then when I had seen her again that morning I knew it was time.  Heather mentioned some bullshit about Caitlin arranging a baby shower for a friend, and that the giraffe was part of the party.  I had no clue what she was talking about, but I could see Heather was nervous, which made me think that there was something going on. 

I saw she had got a phone call a little after lunch, and was a little rattled.  I had overheard her call some doctor to set up an appointment for Caitlin.   I needed to know what was going on. 

Nothing made sense.  The ambulance arrived in record time, there was blood all over the sidewalk and also all over Caitlin. I didn’t know what to do, I seemed to be in the way of everything and everybody.  I didn’t like the looks Henry was giving me, and I kept hearing something about a baby or his baby, I don’t know. 

Both Heather and Cole arrived at the house before Caitlin was loaded into the ambulance.  Heather was screaming at me to get in the car as we needed to get to the hospital.  Cole eventually grabbed me by the arm and pushed me into his truck and we raced to the hospital.  We got there before they did; both Henry and Jo were with Caitlin in the ambulance. 

I wasn’t allowed to go in with them because I wasn’t family.  The three of us were left in the waiting room.  Heather was crying so much I couldn’t get anything out of her; Cole looked as puzzled and worried as I did.  What the hell had just happened?  Caitlin had hit her head quite hard which must be what caused her to faint, but the blood? From what I could see, she hadn’t cut herself on anything and her head had a little bit of blood, but that didn’t explain the rest of it. 

About an hour later, Jo came out to talk to Heather, I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I could see a relief on Heathers face. 

Hopefully that meant she was going to be ok.  Now just to find out what the hell had happened?  I walked to where Caitlin and Jo were talking, but before I could get to them,  I was stopped by Henry. 

“I’m sorry for the way I reacted back at the house son.  It was wrong of me.” Henry stuck out his hand to shake mine. 

I took his hand but he pulled me in for a hug.  He patted my back and then said to me.  “Caitlin wants to talk to you.  She’s in room 501”   My head snapped up and I could see the tears in his eyes. 

I walked through the big swing doors as if on auto pilot.  I reached room 501, but couldn’t get myself to go in.  I was still standing in the doorway when a nurse walked out and smiled at me.    “It’s all good, both mommy and baby are doing fine.” She announced.

I walked through the door to find the doctor doing an ultrasound. What the hell was going on?  Caitlin looked up at me as I walked in.  She had tears in her eyes.  She reached out to me.  I went to stand next to her, and took her hand in mine.  It was so cold, I looked down at her hand and then at her face.  She was watching my every move.  I could not get myself to look at the doctor; I needed to see if my baby was fine, she looked so pale against the white linen of the hospital bed.  Tears were streaming down her face.  The doctor was saying something but I didn’t hear a word.  I lifted my hand and whipped the tears from her cheek with my thumb.  The doctor spoke again, and Caitlin moved her face to look at the monitor. 

“The baby is fine, everything is where it should be, the heart rate is a little high but I think it’s because of the shock.  You should however, stay in bed for a week or so, just to make sure.” 

Baby is fine? What the hell? I looked at the monitor but couldn’t make sense of anything. 

“Caitlin…are you…?”  I looked at her before looking at the doctor. 

“Yes, I’m twelve weeks pregnant, and before you jump to any conclusions, yes, you are the father.  I’m so sorry you hand to find out this way.”

Fuck!!! Caitlin was pregnant.  Holy shit that was the last thing on my mind when I went to see Caitlin earlier that afternoon.  Oh god, the blood… it all made complete sense. 

“I think I’ll leave you two alone for now, I think you have a lot to talk about. I’ll leave my instructions with your mother. Good luck Miss Steward, I’ll see you in three weeks.”  The doctor walked out the room closing the door behind her. 

“How are you feeling?” I lifted Caitlin’s hand and kissed the top of it. It felt so good to have her close to me again.  I knew we had a lot to talk about, but I just wanted to make sure she was ok. 

“I feel like crap, but at least my baby is fine.”

“You mean our baby, I’m part of this now, and don’t you forget it.  Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I only found out yesterday, and after everything that’s happened between us I wasn’t sure if you even cared.”  Her voice cracked and she started crying again. 

“Caitlin you need to calm down, we can talk about this later, I’m just happy you ok, you gave us all a big fright earlier.”

“The doctor gave me something to make me sleep, I think it’s starting to kick in.”  She said. “I’m glad you’re here Vincent, I know we have a lot to talk about, I’m just glad the truth is finally out. I don’t know why I thought I could keep it from you.”

“You need to sleep now, we’ll talk later.” 

Watching her sleep, I realised how much I had missed her. We had wasted so much time fighting, we had forgotten the love we had for each other.

That afternoon, I was hoping just to get my girl back, but instead, got a lot more than I had bargained for.  

Caitlin and I had never even talked about kids, not that I didn’t want any; it’s just that she was still so young.   

Oh shit, Henry’s reaction to me that afternoon all made sense. When I had asked him for Caitlin’s hand in marriage, he had warned me to look after his baby, and not to have kids to early as she still had so much to do before even thinking about starting a family. 

I waited until she was asleep before I walked out to find Heather and Cole.  Heather must have been freaking out by then.  I had picked up the ultrasound picture the doctor had printed, put it in the top pocket of my jacket, close to my heart. 

Caitlin might not have realised it, but she had just given me the best birthday present ever. 

Walking into the waiting room I didn’t expect to see Brent.  Everyone’s eyes were focused on me, waiting for my reaction.  But we had said what we needed to say when he had come to see me.  For Caitlin’s sake, I had accepted that he was in her life.  She cared for him as a friend, and I needed to suck it up if I wanted her in my life. 

“Hey.”  I stuck my hand out to great him. 

“How is she?”  Brent shook my hand and let go just as quickly. 

“They’re both doing fine, the Doctor said she wants to keep her overnight though, just to be sure.”

“Both, who else got hurt?”  Brent looked puzzled.

“Didn’t Heather tell you? Caitlin is pregnant.”

“Oh….” Was all he said.

“Yeah, I just found out myself.  She’s already twelve weeks pregnant.”

“Congratulations, will you wish her for me.”

“She’s sleeping now, but you are welcome to see her when she wakes up.  I think she’d like that.”

“No, I just came to check on her, I need to get back home, there’s something I need to go do.  Oh by the way, you know that Alexis woman you employed?  It seems that she was at school with Caitlin. When she’s feeling a bit better check with her, see if she remembers her.”  Brent turned and walked out the front doors. 

I was at a loss for words, Brent had just walked out, without a fight. 

“Vincent, how is she?”  Heather walked up to me, her eyes bloodshot and makeup smeared. 

“The doctor said she going to be ok, she just needs a little bed rest for the next month or so.  Baby’s doing great too.   We need to come and see her again in three weeks for a scan.”  I watched Heathers face as I as talked to her. She had known Caitlin was pregnant.

“Oh my god, I was so worried.” She breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Heather, how long have you known she was pregnant?”

“What?”

“You heard what I said, why didn’t you tell me?” 

“It wasn’t my place to tell you, it had to come from her, and to be honest after the way you have been behaving lately, I didn’t think you deserved to know.”

“Is that really how you feel?” He looked hurt, and angry.

“Hey Bro, cool it.”  Cole stepped in, “they are best friends, and let’s be honest, you have been acting like a dickhead.”  Cole stepped in to protect Heather and put me in my place.  They were right, I had been a dick.  I had treated my woman like shit. 

“Now, now boys, let’s not do this here.  Vincent, when can we see our daughter?”  Jo came to stand next to me and put her arm around me.  It was good to know she was no longer upset with me. 

“The doctor has given her something to help her sleep. Visiting hours are at around eight tonight, I think you could come back then.  You guys go; I’ll stay with her and will let you know when she wakes up.” 

“I think that’s a good idea. The two of you need some alone time.  Congratulations on the pregnancy.” She said.

“Thank you Jo.”

“You have big responsibilities now.  They are both in your hands my son, I trust you.”  Jo started crying; Henry put his arm around her as they walked away. 

“See you late Bro.”  Cole took Heather by the hand and dragged her after him, out of the hospital.  She wasn’t happy with him. 

After everyone had left I had some time to process everything and reflect on what had happened.  The shit with Caitlin and I was bad, and it wasn’t going to be easy to get her to forgive me. 

I sat in the cafeteria drinking some coffee when the nurse came to tell me that Caitlin was looking for me.  Shit, I hope everything was ok, that wasn’t much of a sleep.  I had hardly had time to think about what I was going to say to her.  It needed it to be perfect.

I walked into the room, her eyes were closed and she was leaning back against the pillows.  I could see she wasn’t sleeping as she had her hands on her belly, rubbing tiny circles over it.  She looked so peaceful; the late afternoon sun was shining through the window, falling partly on her face.  She was the most beautiful woman in the world; I couldn’t believe I had screwed everything up.  I prayed she would forgive me.  As if she could feel my presence, she turned her head my way and opened her eyes.  Those beautiful blue eyes that had haunted my dreams every night. 

“We need to talk, I can’t sleep knowing we have unfinished business.” Her voice was so calm. 

My nerves were getting the better of me, my palms sweating.

“Vincent!! Come sit down, I won’t bite, not now, maybe a week ago but not now, I’m too tired.”

“Ok, but can I go first.” I asked.

“You always need to be the boss, don’t you?  Fine you go first.”

I sat on the chair next to her bed and took her hands in mine, at least they were starting to warm up a little. 

“I’m so very sorry for the pain I have caused you, seeing Brent in your apartment ripped my heart to pieces, I saw red …”

“But nothing happened.”

“Wait, let me finish.”

“I saw red.  In that moment I forgot all we had, all I could see was Brent taking away the one thing in my life that meant everything to me.  I knew he was a better man than me, he has killed for you, when I couldn’t even protect you.  I felt useless, and I always felt like the day would come when he would walk back into your life and you would see that you had. So I lashed out, I wanted to hurt you as much as I was hurting.  But I can’t live without you Caitlin.  That night at the club I was waiting for you to show up so we could talk, and I could try ask you for forgiveness, but then the shit hit the fan.  I promise you that there was nothing happening at the club, my eyes were closed and I was thinking about you. Heather told me you saw what Alexis did, and I’m so sorry about that.  After I found out that you were at the club I went looking for you.  That’s when the bouncer told me you went back to San Diego.  I thought I had lost you for good, I was angry and well, Alexis …..  Nothing happened between us, I promise you.  I don’t know how she managed to take that photo she sent to you.  I promise you, I never slept with her.  I’ve made so many wrong choices in my life, but you’re the only right one I’ve ever made, and then I go fuck that up as well.  Could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?” The whole time I was talking I was looking down at our hands, running my fingers in circles over the top of her hand. I was too scared to look into her eyes. 

Caitlin pulled her hands from mine and placed them against me cheeks.  “Look at me Vincent.”  I lifted my head and looked into her beautiful blue eyes, there were tears running down her face. 

“I forgive you, and I love you Vincent.  I think deep down I knew you would never betray us.  I’ve also made so many wrong choices, can you forgive me?”