Shadow's Stand (38 page)

“What promise?”

“To make them pay.”

The warm water couldn’t prevent the shiver that raced down her spine. “Who made the promise?”

“Those of us who survived.”

“Hell’s Eight,” she whispered.

He lifted her out of the tub. “Yes.”

She grabbed a towel. “And Tia?”

He stood in the tub unabashedly naked as water dripped down his hard body. “We found Tia on our way to keeping that promise.”

“She was good to you?”

Shadow laughed. “At first, she threatened to skin us alive.”

“I do not understand.”

“For all our big talk, we were just kids, and we hadn’t much in the way of weapons, or food. The Mexicans had laid waste to the area. No one wanted to take in eight boys with a hell of a lot of anger and appetites to match.”

“Except Tia,” she guessed.

“Except Tia. She kept us civilized.”

“She gave you a home.”

“That, too.”

“You love her.”

There was a pause as if to confess such a thing was bad luck, and then, “Yes.”

Handing Shadow a towel, Fei guessed, “She is one of the reasons you won’t go home?”

He stepped out of the tub and rubbed the towel across his chest. “She’s always been good to me.”

The same words he’d used to describe Caine’s mother. The other woman he’d loved. The one who’d been murdered. Picking up the other towel, she dried herself with deliberate care, before saying, “It wasn’t your fault what happened to Caine’s mother.”

He threw the towel into the chair with enough force to make her jump. His expression was harder than she’d ever seen and for the first time, she felt the force of his anger. “What the hell do you know about it?”

He wanted her to back away, to leave him with his anger. To leave this wound untended. She took a step forward instead, placing her hand on his chest, feeling him flinch in the jump of his skin. Such an old wound to be so raw. “I know you did all that you could, my husband. I know you fought with force and honor to defend those you loved. But I also know a child cannot stop an army.”

His fingers wrapped around her wrist. “The hell we couldn’t. We could have warned them. We saw the signs. With a little more warning—”

She cut him off, resisting the pull on her arm. She would not let him sever this connection. Looking up into his face, braving his pain and anger, she laid out the truth. “They still would have died.”

“Goddamn it—”

She shook her head. “You cannot control the world, husband. Good and bad will happen as it wills. The how and when is not under your control.”

“The hell it’s not.”

He needed to accept this. “You sent me away to save me. Instead, you sent me into your enemy’s hands.”

“I sent you with your uncles.”

“You tried to force me into a life you thought would suit me.”

“I wanted you safe.”

“And I wanted to live.”

“I made a choice.”

“Yes. Which you forced upon me. Was the result as you wished?”

He ran his fingers through his hair. His grip tightened on her wrist to near pain. She didn’t move, watching the anger inside him ride his frustration to greater heights. “Only because you didn’t stay put.”

“Because you didn’t listen to what I wanted.”

“Goddamn it, Fei!”

It was a dangerous game she played now. She only had her belief in the man that said he would not lash out at her. “God does not damn me.
You
do with your belief that you can control everything that cannot be controlled.”

His grip reached pain. “I can control you.”

She glanced pointedly at her wrist. “As you control yourself now?”

He dropped her arm as if it was fire, and took a step back. The wall he put between them was supposed to keep her from following. She stepped through it, braving his anger.

Placing her hand on his chest, she whispered, “You said you loved me, Shadow.”

“My kind of love you don’t need.”

“I disagree.”

He grabbed her hand, tilted her wrist up. The marks of his fingers branded her skin. “This is who I am.”

He wanted her to run. She left her hand in his. “No, this is you fighting who you are.”

“And who might that be?”

She took that step closer that brought them skin to skin. “A man who has seen too much. A man who loves. A man who would shelter those he loves from the bad of what he’s seen.”

“Shit.”

He was no longer pulling away. Did he think she had learned nothing of him during their time together?

Sliding her hands up his chest, she whispered, “I would not change that part of you, husband. I would just change the belief you have that if you can control everything, if you take all the risk, then nothing bad will happen to those you love.”

“I’ve been doing fine until now.”

She shook her head. “Everyone has their destiny. You cannot shape it for them. You can only decide how much you want to be part of it.”

“Is this your father’s belief?”

She nodded, accepting the pain of his loss, choosing to remember how he’d been years ago. “Before illness took him, he had much wisdom.”

“Uh-huh.”

Now he was just being difficult. “My people believe that in all things there must be balance. The power of love goes both ways. You cannot be to the only force.”

He immediately bristled. “You’re saying I can’t protect those I love?”

“I am saying you cannot deny those that love you
their
need to protect you.”

“I don’t need protecting.”

Fei shoved him backward to the bed. Surprise alone gave her the advantage. She pressed on, climbing onto the bed, pushing on his shoulders until he lay back on the mattress. It was a measure of his love that he allowed her this moment of power. It was not in Shadow’s nature to be vulnerable, she knew. Straddling his hips, she braced herself on his chest.

“Being protected does not mean you are weak.”

“What the hell would you have it mean?”

She wanted to cuff him upside the head. Dragons were the most stubborn of creatures. She kissed him instead, hard at first as frustration paced ahead of desire. Against her hip, his cock rose. Against her chest, his heart beat. His strong, loyal passionate heart. Inside her, tenderness welled, pushing out the frustration.

“It means you are loved.” Such a simple truth he fought so hard against.

“Shit.”

That fast his anger left. And that fast she was on her back with her husband looking down at her with the same combination of frustration and love she’d felt a moment before. And just as had happened with her, she watched the love take over, softening his mouth, his expression.

“What do you want from me, Fei?”

A question, not a demand. A gift to her. She cupped his face in her hand. Such a strong man. A giving man.
Her
man. She drew her thumb over his lips the way he did to her. His eyes narrowed and his cock jerked. He liked it, too. “I want you to promise to try to remember love must flow both ways to survive.”

“You don’t ask much.”

“I only ask that you try.”

His eyes narrowed and his gaze dipped to her breasts. A tingle went through her. A glance down revealed her desire showed in the hard tips.

“Anything else?” he drawled.

“Yes.” She shifted on the mattress, arching her back, drawing her nails lightly across his nape, hearing his catch of breath with an internal smile. She loved that he found such pleasure in her. “After you promise, I want you to make love to me.”

The bed dipped as he changed position, propping himself beside her. His big hand cradled her breast, squeezing lightly, sending rivulets of sensation trickling through her in a lazy prelude to the fire he commanded so easily.

“I can do that.”

Slipping her hand between her nipple and his mouth, she asked, “Do I have your promise?”

“Yes. Damn it. I’ll try.” He pushed her hand aside before growling against her breast, “Now come here.”

She went, as she always would. With love.

T
HEY
DIDN
’
T
KNOCK
,
JUST
SLIPPED
into the hotel room like ghosts in the calm of predawn. Three, maybe four, intruders. Shadow eased Fei to the side and palmed his knife from under the pillow.

A hand came over his, pinning his arm to the bed. “Uh-uh.”

He knew that voice. “Tucker? What the hell?”

“You won’t need that.”

Pressure on his wrist forced his hand open. Glass rattled as someone struck a sulfur and lit the lamp. The scent of kerosene tainted the air as the room filled with a warm glow. Tucker’s expression was grim as he relieved Shadow of the knife.

“What’s going on?”

“Shadow?” Fei asked, huddling shyly into his back and pulling the quilt up over her shoulders. “What is happening?”

“I don’t have a clue.”

“Nothing to be scared of, ma’am,” Zach said, tipping his hat. “We’ve just got to get something settled.”

Tucker pulled him to the side of the bed. Sam tossed two pieces of rope from hand to hand.

“The only question is, are you coming willingly or are we going to have to use force?”

Shadow glanced at his brother. Tracker stood by the door, arms folded, watching. Not saying a word. Beside him Sam and Zach stood, watching, as well.

“Do I at least get pants?”

Caine scooped his up off the floor and tossed them across his lap. His “thanks” was wry. Sitting on the bed, he pulled them on.