ShameLess (14 page)

“And? What else? Tell us everything!” Jade insists.

Without any lack of enthusiasm, I eagerly add my two cents, “Yeah, please. Go on.”

“Really, you guys…” she starts, but immediately sees any resistance to our fascination is futile. Soon after, she continues, “Well, when I was little, I would stay with my dad over the summers. At first, it would only be for a couple of weeks. But, as I got older, I started staying for entire summers. Sometimes, instead of leaving me with a nanny, he would take me to work with him. I loved those days. One day, I might have been around twelve, I guess, one of the designers came in to meet with my dad’s creative team. The photographer was there. So, of course, he had his camera along. He actually told me later that he doesn’t go anywhere without it. He snapped some pictures of me. Apparently, it was when I was curled up in the huge leather chair my dad has in his office that sits in the designated reading corner by the...”

Unreservedly, with both arms raised, I interrupt, “No way! You’re a reader, too?”

Debi smiles and nods her head in agreement as Jade calms my inner nerd by placing her hand on my arms, drawing them back down. She goes on telling us how one of the photos the photographer took ended up being perfect for an Ad they were working on. Her dad yielded after having initial reservations, but allowing them to use it. Now, when needed, he calls Debi and flies her out to do odd side modeling jobs. She has done the work on Ad campaigns for some of the biggest names in the city, and across the United States. She actually turned down an assignment in Paris to start school.
Lucky us!
I willingly warm my mind with such a mesmerizing thought.

“Ok, enough. I’ll tell you more later on if you want, but, we really do need to get Ren’s face done so we can head out soon. Or, I won’t be able to go with you guys. I have to be back in time to meet up with Zak later, and need time to get ready. If I’m late, he’ll be so pissed.” She flings her hair over her shoulder, motioning for me to turn myself back around as she leans down to get back to work on my face.

The rest of the morning, while Debi tries to hide the scrapes and cuts on my face, Jade gets ready, and we all spend time chit-chatting. Come to find out, Debi grew up in the same social circle as I did. Although, she went to a private school before convincing her parents to allow her to attend school here. They wanted her to go somewhere more prestigious.

“Ironic, isn’t it how we never ran into each other before now? Isn’t that off the hook?” She says while patting more concealer under my eyes. “Tilt your head up a little...” I do as instructed.

“Good, hold it right there,” she further instructs moving to cover the cut above my cheek.

Again, I do as I’m told while answering, “It’s downright crazy, actually. So, do you know anyone from Willowbrook High?” I ask, probing her. I need to know what, if anything, she may know or heard.
God, I hope she doesn’t
know a single thing
. I hold my breath while waiting for her answer.

“No. I mean, I’ve heard of Willowbrook High, but I don’t think so. Should I?” She promptly responds. By her tone, I can tell she is being honest.

I sigh, relieved, but quickly state, “Oh, I was just curious. I mean, it isn’t often that you meet someone who runs in the same social circle as you do, but that you haven’t ever met before. And, who doesn’t know the same people you do that are in that circle.”

“Well, it’s weird, sure. But, like I said, I often stayed with my dad over the summers so I was never around to attend the social events, like my mom. And, when I was with my mom, it was during the school year, but I was away at boarding school. So, I wasn’t really around to attend anything.” Once again, her tone tells me she is telling the truth. I don’t have any reason not to trust her, so I willingly dismiss it.

The three of us remain caught up in chatter about anything and everything. In no time, I am fully relaxed and comfortable. It feels like I have known both of them all of my life. This makes it easier to fall right into step with accepting new friends.

Jade’s expression startles me, but it’s her words that surprise me, “Oh my garsh, oh my garsh! You look amazing! You can hardly even tell, Ren. Take a look,” she exclaims while pushing the hand mirror over to me.

I hold it up, slightly nervous to see what my face looks like. Once I do, I am instantly comforted, “Holy shit, Debi. This
is
amazing. Thank you.” I hug her tight, appreciative of her skills.

Jade is right. Debi works awesome magic with a cosmetic brush. You can barely even notice. It doesn’t look as raw despite the actual markings still being present. You cannot hide those. Seeing how different Debi has made my face concealing the cuts and bruises brings me a sense of comfort. Yet, inside, I am still scared to death the attacker might come back. I’m crossing my fingers, and hoping these marks on my face are not a preview of what is to come. I hope that my fear does not paralyze me from moving past this. Regardless, in time, I know the scars will heal. Concealing them is just the beginning. True strength comes from within.

“Let’s get out of here. I’m ready for a Caramel Macchiato. Give me some whipped cream drizzled with chocolate and caramel – now, please and thank you!” A little giggle escapes from Jade as she is nearly running out the door.

“Hurry! Let’s go!” Jade hollers back at us.

Debi and I look at each other; new friends, and just laugh at Jade. “We better go. We don’t want to keep Li’l Miss Drama from her whipped cream and drizzles,” Debi says looking at me while rolling her eyes at Jade.

I laugh, following close behind them both, happy that all great things actually do start out small, my new friendships and true healing included.

Stefan

I make the dreaded call first thing after waking up. I put it off last night because for one, I just wanted to drink to forget, and two, I knew he was going to be angrier than a hornet with me. How pissed off he is with me, leaves me feeling even more like a failure after hanging up the phone. I just stare out the window; phone still tight in my hand.

I have mixed feelings. I know I should have protected her. He is screaming at me, ‘Where were you? Boy, don’t make me regret my decision, you better step it up and make this right, and don’t let her out of your sight’, along with my own words spinning out of control in my head, have me even more determined.

I will keep her safe. I will make her mine. Two things I know more than anything else right now. The spark of realizing this assures me of what I need to do. I grab my keys and slam the door shut behind me.

I make it across town, arriving at her dorm just in time to see her climbing into a blue Audi with two other girls. I recognize both of them instantly from last night. Her roommate is one of them. She is actually the one that stayed with Ian. The other one, I think was at the party with Zak who is the president of the frat, and one of the brothers living at the house.

As soon as they drive away, I trail behind them. I am learning everything I do regarding this girl is not calculated, but I do know I have to be conscious now. I think she is weakening me. It might be partially why I fucked up with protecting her. I can’t make that mistake again. I won’t.

They eventually pull into Starbucks.
Great! I’m an iced tea lover.
I park a distance away, so she doesn’t notice me and let some time pass. I sit and wait. Once I see they have already ordered, and are seated, I notice they’re talking. I head in.
This is it!

She happens to be looking out the window as I strut across the parking lot. I wave. She waves back, and this is a telling sign for me. I step inside, heading straight to the counter to order. Order what? I’m not sure. I have to make it look good, though, so I browse the menu searching for the closest thing to iced tea that I can find. The only thing I observe is some black tea mixed with lemonade. Not quite sure about it, but I guess I’ll make it work. I order one, pay the cashier, and, without hesitating, go over to her. Her friends are talking, arms moving, mouths flapping, and seem very busy with themselves. Ren sees me, just as I see her. I give her a smile, but keep myself tough. I can’t give her too much.
Just enough
.

“We meet again. So, let me ask, ‘Do you believe wishes from a shooting star come true?’” I ask her, while gesturing ‘hello’ to her friends who have stopped talking in mid-conversation and are now staring up at me.

“Umm, yeah, I guess. Do you?” She replies before bringing her cup to her lips to take a sip. It smells like chocolate. I can smell it from here, and can’t help but laugh as whip cream lingers on her lips after she pulls her cup away. It’s sexy as fuck, and is distracting me. A little scheming on my end, but I totally go in.

Leaning closer, I use my finger to wipe the cream, and bring it up to my own mouth, sucking it off. One friend sucks in a breath while it sounds like the other one deeply sighs. Ren fidgets in her seat, which tells me I am getting to her.
Score!

I don’t skip a beat, “I do. I wished upon a shooting star for you that it would bring me to wherever you are. Here you are. Here I am, with you. We’re also at STARbucks. There is no coincidence in that.” My posture relaxes, but I keep my confidence firm. I may be edgier and not whom she normally would have an interest in, at least compared to the preppy ass I saw her with last night. I’m no prep, but I can see she’s attentive and interested. This only urges me on.

“Oh my god, Ren, who is this?” Jade pushes her body past Ren’s, leaning over her to reach me, extending her hand, “Hi. I’m Jade. This is Debi. Who are you?” She asks shaking my hand, then releases it, moving back to her position next to Ren.

Ren doesn’t give me a chance to respond. She stands up, grabs her coffee with one hand, my elbow with another, and shoots out, “He is Stefan, and I was just escorting him out. Excuse me, I’ll be right back.”

Debi contests, “What? He just got here. Let him sit for a while.”

Jade butts in, further protesting, “Yeah, he doesn’t have to go. He can sit beside you. I’ll move over and sit next to Debi.”

She starts to rise, but Ren stops her, “No, not today, girls. Another time. Another place. I’ll be right back. Pick up your tongues and put them back in your mouths before I get back.”

Her spunk takes me off guard. God, I love her sass! It makes me more determined to get to know her better. This girl has a spirit about her, and I like what I see. She may just give this bad ass a run for my money. I chuckle…

“I find nothing funny,” she snaps and starts tugging at me, leading me to the door. I resist at first, making it seem as if I’m irritated by her feistiness. I’m not. She is so cute when she’s sassy. I am turned on by it, and by her, but I have to give her a little
fight.
You know, make it look like I actually don’t want to go. We step through the door. I let her go first. It gives me the perfect chance to check out her ass. Yeah, neither her sass nor her ass displeases me.

Once outside, the humidity of the late summer’s day knocks us both in the face. It’s a huge contrast between the air conditioning we just left. “Damn, it’s hot out here, but it’s not as hot as you are.” Okay, cheesy, I admit, so to soften it a bit, I quickly follow with a wink.

She straightens her posture with me. Uh-oh! Maybe too much cheese. “First off, do you want some wine with that cheese? You may have impressed my friends. But, look Stefan, I’m not looking for a relationship, a fling, or to be anyone’s little fuck-bitch for a night. Clearly, you are. So…”

I cut her off, “Is that what you think? Boy, do you underestimate me. I’m not looking for a relationship right now, either, so we’re OK there. A fling? Nope, not that either. Mmm, a ‘fuck-bitch’? Now, that has my dick peaked.” I laugh, letting her know I’m just joking with her.

“Seriously, Ren, I am only looking for you. Just. You. You can resist. You can put up a fight. Eventually, you will collapse. And, when that happens, my arms are going to be there to catch you. You will be in
my
arms,” I state it matter of fact. I don’t back down.