Read Shamus In The Green Room Online
Authors: Susan Kandel
disbelief. “Yeah, right.” He walked over to the sink and washed
his hands, which didn’t look dirty. In fact, they were beauti-
fully manicured.
“It’s true,” I said, following him.
“Well,” he said, stretching the word out as long as he could.
“I really don’t like to gossip.” His face started to light up, like
the Hollywood sign after dark.
“Of course not.”
“Anyway, it’s public knowledge.” He turned off the water
and reached for a towel.
“What is?” I asked.
He leaned in close, speaking in a delirious whisper. “Rafe’s
crazy. You ever see him go nuts?”
“Not exactly,” I said hesitantly.
203
“Why do you think he does yoga?” Steve Terrell waited a
beat, grinning from ear to ear. “Mandated by the court. Anger
management. After the ten weeks in county lockup.”
“What?”
“You heard me. It was a while ago. Right after the filming
of his first movie. He punched out a photographer, really
messed the guy up. He was getting in Rafe’s face, that part was
true, literally, even did a little damage, but come on. Did Tom
Hanks ever serve time? Tom Cruise? I don’t think so. The poor
guy wound up needing surgery. I think it was his spleen.
Whatever it was, it was bad. He was near death or something.
The family sued. They settled out of court. Will fixed it so it
wouldn’t wind up in the tabs, but everybody knows. Still, you
didn’t hear it from me, okay?”
I thought of that first day on the canals. I’d been frightened
to go into Rafe’s house with him alone. “Is this why you want
me to talk to him? Are you scared of Rafe?”
Steve Terrell shook his head passionately. “That’s not who I
am. No fucking way.” He puffed up his chest like a pigeon. A
pigeon wearing diamond-stud earrings. “It’s just that you have
a pleasant way about you. I thought you could be more effec-
tive getting the message across. I get upset, I start schvitzing, it
gets ugly, you know what I’m saying?”
“You’re saying you want me to do your dirty work.”
“I’m awesome in the sack,” he murmured.
“Excuse me?”
He made a sort of kissy face. “Just thought I’d sweeten the
deal.”
Steve Terrell was not the stuff dreams are made of.
“Kidding! I’m kidding, Cece!”
Once he dispensed with the kissy face, I agreed to talk to
204
Rafe. It was, of course, the perfect excuse for keeping this
thing going. I needed an excuse now that my services had been
terminated.
“And all I want from you in return,” I said, heading for the
door, where Elsa was just coming in with lunch, “are some
Kaffir limes.” I had a recipe I’d ripped out of the paper for an
aromatic tom yum kai soup.
Steve Terrell took the bags from Elsa, emptied them onto
the counter, grabbed the one most liberally stained with secret
sauce, and headed outside with his scissors.
“This is a big sacrifice, Cece.” He started snipping limes off
the tree and dropping them into the greasy bag. “Do you know
why I planted these? The Thais believe the juice prevents your
hair from falling out. Not that I have that problem at this
point in time, but it’s good to plan ahead. This is Hollywood.
Don’t forget that. They’ll kill you for less.”
No doubt.
There was one place I wanted to stop on my way home.
Then I’d save Rafe’s film, Rafe’s soul, maybe the world.
17575 Pacific Coast Highway. The former site of Thelma
Todd’s Sidewalk Café.
Thelma Todd was a wisecracking bombshell best known
for acting opposite the Marx Brothers in films like Horse Feath-
ers and Monkey Business. But she also starred in the first film
adaptation of The Maltese Falcon, which was why I was inter-
ested in her.
It was Thelma Todd—as the faithless Iva Archer, lover of
Sam Spade and wife of Spade’s murdered partner—who’d ut-
tered the line that had so incensed the Hays Office they’d de-
nied the film a second release (which, ironically, paved the way
for John Huston to later remake the film).
Upon seeing Spade’s new lover in his bedroom, she’d
whined, “Who’s that dame in my kimono?”
206
It sounds so innocuous now.
Poor woman.
On the morning of December 16, 1935, Thelma Todd was
found slumped over in the front seat of her car, dead of carbon
monoxide poisoning.
That was the other reason I was interested in her.
The car was a chocolate-colored Lincoln Phaeton convert-
ible, brand new; the garage belonged to the swank apartment the
dead woman shared with her married lover, Roland West, just
above the café; she was wearing a silver evening gown and
mink wrap, having spent the earlier part of the evening at a
party in her honor at the Trocadero nightclub on Sunset
Boulevard.
Aside from that, nobody knew anything about anything.
For years, I’d noticed the place, a sprawling three-tiered
Spanish-style ruin with Moorish arches, smashed up against
the hillside opposite the ocean. But I’d never known its signifi-
cance, not until it was put up for sale, and the write-ups all re-
counted the lurid history of its former proprietress.
She’d been a small-town beauty queen from Lawrence,
Massachusetts, who’d come out to Hollywood to be a star. She
ate men for sport, drank like a fish, and specialized in drunken
car crashes.
“Hot Toddy” was the nickname she’d picked for herself.
I turned onto Porto Marina. This was the Castellamare
section of Pacific Palisades: ocean views and permit parking
only. The street was narrow and windy, with houses climbing
along the north side, and to the south, a vertiginous drop to
PCH and the ocean beyond. A man in a New York Mets cap
polishing a blue Lexus pulled off his headphones long enough
to tell me I could find a legal space farther up the road.
207
I squeezed my car in between a pool man and a roofer, then
headed down the hill, hugging the side so as not to get run
over. The yuccas fanned out over my head. The hibiscus
glowed hot pink. The cattails brushed against my legs. Some-
times I forgot how beautiful it was here in Southern California.
Today it struck me anew. Even the lines extending from tele-
phone pole to telephone phone looked as perfect as if they’d
been drawn with a compass.
It must have been beautiful like this on the day Thelma
Todd’s maid found her lifeless body.
The building looked less decrepit up close. It had been
bought by a movie-production company. I buzzed a couple of
times without getting an answer, then peered through the
stained-glass window and saw a grand staircase with a tiled
fountain, framed by a pair of potted palms. I knocked on the
glass, hoping someone could let me in, maybe show me an old
menu or something, with gin fizzes and milk punch and lime
rickeys for forty-five cents a pop. I was certain Hammett had
frequented the place. He was in Hollywood in 1934, living off
and on in the forty-four-room Harold Lloyd mansion, which
was in Beverly Hills, not far when your chauffeur’s behind the
wheel. And Hammett wasn’t a person who ever said no to a gin
fizz or some milk punch or a lime rickey.
Nobody answered, though.
The garage was next.
There was a steep flight of outdoor stairs that led up behind
the building. It was dark and shady back there, with low con-
crete walls on either side. I started up the steps, shivering ever
so slightly. The ground was littered with dead leaves and
bougainvillea, like confetti from a long-ago party. Halfway to
the top, I turned around and looked back. I could see all the
208
way across the pedestrian bridge that led to the ocean on the
other side of the highway. The shadows of the rails fell on the
concrete, like zebra stripes. They reminded me of a beautiful,
geometric-patterned swimsuit Thelma Todd had on in an old
picture I’d seen of her somewhere. I wondered if she’d liked
swimming. The water was so cold this time of the year,
though. People never realized just how cold it was.
When I got to the top, I turned left. This had to be the
garage. It had a huge padlock, and as if that weren’t disincen-
tive enough, twisty, spiky vines growing across the door.
Keep out. Haunted house. Death trap.
The grand jury made a ruling of suicide, but that didn’t
hold water with those who knew Todd well. They insisted she
must have turned on the motor to keep warm, and then fallen
asleep. Or they pointed a finger at Lucky Luciano, who’d tried
unsuccessfully to coerce her into allowing gambling at her café,
which she’d said would happen over her dead body. Or they
suspected her lover, frustrated with her drunken carousing, of
locking her in the garage to keep her from slipping out yet
again. That latter theory, however, failed to account for the key
found in her handbag. It would’ve allowed her to escape. But
she hadn’t escaped. And her body had been cremated.
Case closed. Suicide. Pity. End of story.
Of course, stories are arbitrary. As a biographer, I knew this
better than most.
I looked down at my watch. And that was when I felt a
hand grasp the back of my neck.
Jesus Christ. What was this?
Then, the hand jerked me around.
I was face-to-face with a hulking man in a blue uniform.
“Private property,” he said in a dull monotone. “Keep it moving.”
209
“How dare you touch me?” I asked, more unnerved than
outraged, but determined not to show it.
“You should calm down now,” he said.
“What kind of psycho security guard are you?” I asked,
readjusting my blouse.
He didn’t smile. “It’s my job to make sure people don’t go
where they aren’t supposed to.”
“I could report you.” I scanned his uniform for the name of
his company, but there didn’t seem to be any name.
“Sorry, miss,” he said, pulling his walkie-talkie from his belt.
Sorry, miss, my ass. I started down the stairs. Overzealous
nutcase. Speaking of, it was time to go home and call Rafe.
In the car, I tried to shake off the feeling of doom hanging
over me. One phone call. That was all. A way back in. I pulled
away from the curb and drove farther up the hill, looking for a
space wide enough to make a U-turn. I suppose I could have
gone straight, and eventually found my way out onto Sunset
Boulevard, but I was suddenly in a hurry to get this whole
thing over with.
At Lecco Lane, I swung my wheel to the left.
The rest, even now, is a blur.
My phone started to ring; the radio news went to a traffic
report ( jackknifed truck on the Grapevine); something green
flashed in my rearview mirror; my neck snapped back; my
hands flew off the wheel; and flesh hit metal as my Camry
crashed through a retaining wall, plunging down the embank-
ment toward the thousands of drivers speeding along Pacific
Coast Highway, totally oblivious to what had or had not just
happened to me.
It’ll take a miracle,” I heard someone say.
It was a man’s voice.
Twangy. Kentucky, maybe. Or Texas. Tennessee? I had no
idea. My eyelids fluttered open. He was wearing a blue-and-red-
striped shirt with a patch over his heart that said, “Hi, I’m Nate.”
“Nate?” My tongue felt thick.
“Yes, ma’am.” He walked over and took my hand. “Like I
was saying before, it don’t look good.” His eyebrows were knit-
ted together in concern.
“Please do everything you can. That Camry means a lot
to me.”
“Good to see you up again,” said someone else. It was the
man in the baseball cap who’d been polishing the Lexus earlier.
I looked around, confused. I seemed to be lying on a piece
of expensive pool furniture that had been wheeled out into the
middle of the street. I needed water. My mouth felt dry.
212
“The paramedics left half an hour ago. They said you were
fine. No concussion, nothing. Just a nasty cut. Clean bill of
health. Do you remember?”
“Yes.”
“Then you just sort of keeled over. I thought maybe you
needed to lie on the chaise longue another minute. Take it easy.
Nate here, from D.J.’s, concurred.”
I saw the D.J.’s Garage tow truck. It looked like a monster
with something silvery clenched between its jaws. That would
be the remains of my car.
“I’m fine now,” I said, trying to sit up. My head felt like it
was being pummeled with a meat tenderizer. I reached up and
felt a huge bandage on my forehead. I couldn’t afford a new
car. I didn’t want a new car.
“Anybody you need to call?”
“My purse.” I needed to call Gambino.
Nate said, “We got it out of the front seat. That, and a
bunch of papers. Right here when you’re ready.”
“Do you know how lucky you are?” The man in the base-
ball cap shook his head. “If it weren’t for those yuccas—”