Shane's Fall (The Escort Series Book 2) (19 page)

Shane realized that Logan must have figured out that Gabe and Riley had been hiding Savannah’s secret as well. Shame went through him as he watched his enraged friend. When there were no bottles left, Logan braced his arms against the bar and struggled to catch his breath.

“She needed to be stronger to tell you Logan.”

“So that’s why you fucked her? To give her strength?” he snarled.

“Tell me what I was supposed to do Logan!”

“You should have come to me! I’m her brother!”

“She needed to be able to choose!” Shane shouted. “That fucker took that from her and she needed it back! Telling you had to be her choice! Allowing a man to touch her again had to be her choice!”

“Always the consummate professional, huh Shane?” Logan laughed coldly and shook his head. “Did you at least give her the friends and family discount?”

Shane was on him in three long strides. One swing and Logan hit the floor, blood spurting from his nose. “Fuck you, Logan,” he said as he shook his hand to relieve the sting. “Fuck you.” He reached into his pocket and tossed the spare key on the floor and then walked away.

***

Savannah picked her way past the headstones and paused to study the unique tree near the entrance to the cemetery. It looked old and dead, its gnarled branches twisted together at odd angles. There was something strangely familiar about the tree and then she realized where she’d seen it before. She looked back over her shoulder to where Gabe was standing near the gates. He smiled at her look. The huge tattoo on his back looked exactly like this tree.

“Ask Riley to tell you the story,” he called to her and then a wistful smile graced his lips. Like he was remembering something fondly. She shrugged it off and made her way down the aisle until she spotted her quarry. He hadn’t noticed her coming, so Gabe’s voice must not have carried when he had shouted at her. She was nearly on top of Shane before he looked up from the bench he was sitting on. He scrambled to his feet.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, clearly stunned to see her.

“You invited me to meet your brother,” she said as she slid her arms around him. It felt good to have his solid body against hers again. He was tense at first, then returned her hug.

“How did you know I was here?” he asked but before she could answer he growled, “Riley.” She smiled against his chest. “Please tell me you didn’t come by yourself,” Shane said.

“I made Gabe bring me. Or rather, Riley made Gabe bring me.” She felt Shane pull back from her and look over her shoulder to where Gabe still hovered. The big man waved and then walked to his car.

“Looks like I’m going to need a ride home,” she said as Gabe’s car disappeared.

Poor Shane looked confused, so she tugged him down to the bench and leaned against him as she studied the big tombstone in front of her. They sat that way for several minutes.

“How have you been?” he finally asked. She hadn’t seen him since the beginning of the week after he’d dropped her and Logan off at Gabe and Riley’s. The last thing she actually remembered was how he’d taken care of her in the shower. She’d been cold all over, but he’d found a way to warm her up and bring her back. She’d slept for more than twelve hours straight and had only awakened long enough to use the bathroom and force down the sandwich Riley had handed her.

It wasn’t until Thursday morning that she managed to feel human again, but the scene she stepped into was a nightmare. The tension between Gabe, Riley and Logan was palpable. When she left the bedroom, they were all sitting at the table eating breakfast in utter silence, Gabe and Riley on one end, Logan on the other. Her brother had looked haggard and bitter. He’d smiled at her when he had finally looked up from his plate, but his greeting felt hollow. Riley had quickly made her a plate of food and inquired how she was feeling, but everything about the scene felt awkward and forced.

“I really messed things up,” she said.

She looked up at him and studied the purple and black bruises along his eye and cheekbone. There was a little bit of green along the edges indicating the injuries were slowly healing, but the damage Logan had inflicted was devastating. And knowing she was the cause of it broke her heart. It hadn’t gone unnoticed that Logan was sporting a fresh bruise as well and she could only wonder at what terrible things had been said between him and Shane for Shane to finally lash out at her brother. Because the fight she had witnessed on that awful night had been one sided – Shane had only tried to protect his body from Logan’s angry fists.

“It’s not your fault,” Shane began but she shook her head.

“Don’t. Don’t try to protect me from this. This is absolutely my fault.” She leaned her head back against his shoulder. “I destroyed our family because I was a coward.”

“No.”

She ignored his protest. “Logan won’t even talk to Riley and Gabe – he spent the last two nights at the bar.”

“He needs time.”

“I need him,” she said. “I need you.” He was silent and she figured that was his way of confirming she couldn’t have the latter.

Before she could speak again, she heard someone call out Shane’s name.

Savannah turned to look in the direction the high-pitched voice had come from. She felt Shane seize up next to her as they both watched his mother pick her way along the path directly towards them.

***

Shane was amazed not only to see his mother, but by her appearance as well. Not only was she wearing a simple pair of Khakis and a cable knit sweater, but her hair was a windswept mess and she actually had sneakers on. There was not a lick of makeup on her face and her eyes looked red and puffy. She held what looked like a wadded up and very damp tissue in her hand, confirming his suspicion that she’d been crying recently. He stood and felt Savannah rise next to him, her hand automatically closing around his.

“Mom,” he managed to get out before she saw his face.

“Shane, oh my God, what happened?” she said as she closed the distance between them and grabbed his face gently so she could inspect him up close. Although her touch was light, he still flinched as she skimmed her thumb over the sensitive bruises.

“It’s nothing. A disagreement among friends.” He pulled away from her. “What are you doing here?” He had assumed she and his father would have left Seattle earlier in the week after he’d gone off on them.

“I just wanted to come see your brother,” she said as she looked over the grave. A frown crossed her features as she bent down to pull at a weed. “I pay the caretaker extra every month to get rid of these,” she muttered as she tossed the weed aside. Her gaze fell on the less than fresh bouquet of flowers that were just beginning to show signs of rot. “And he’s supposed to put fresh flowers out every week.” She marched up to the tombstone and grabbed the flowers and threw them next to the grave.

“Mom,” Shane said, a little worried and unnerved by her odd behavior. She looked up at him and then finally seemed to realize that he wasn’t alone. “This is Savannah.” He felt Savannah tense next to him and waited to see how his mother would react. If she showed Savannah any disrespect…

“Oh my dear, it’s nice to finally meet you.” His mother stunned them both by reaching out to pull Savannah into a warm embrace. “I’m so sorry we interrupted your morning the other day.” She pulled back and patted Savannah’s cheek. “Sometimes Shane’s father and I forget that he’s not our little boy anymore and that we need to respect his privacy.” She clasped her hands together and Shane could only gape at her. Where was the condemnation, the disgust?

“It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Matthews,” Savannah said as she too seemed to struggle to find her words.

“Oh please, call me Linda.”

“Mom,” Shane began, growing more concerned by how flighty his mother was acting.

“Shane,” she whispered in what sounded almost like a begging tone. She grew still as her gaze lifted to meet his. “Please, Shane, I’m trying. I wasn’t expecting to see you here…” She looked around the cemetery. “I’m just a little nervous because I don’t want to mess this up again,” she said anxiously as tears flooded her eyes.

“I’ll give you guys some privacy,” Savannah said quietly and turned to leave. Before Shane could stop her, his mother was grabbing her hand.

“No, please stay.” Savannah stopped and his mother held onto her. “I’m sorry for my careless words the other morning – I didn’t know how my son felt about you and Paige made it sound like…” She waved her hands like she was dismissing the thought. “Please stay,” she said again and smiled when Savannah nodded.

Her attention swung back to him. “I keep going back in my head to that night at dinner when Michael told us who he was. We were so caught off guard…” she explained as she began wringing her hands together. “Your father knew it was wrong the instant he did it – disowning Michael like that – but you know your father and his pride. He just needed time to cool off. By the time he reached out, it was too late,” she said as a sob gripped her.

“You made me lie about how he died.” Shane couldn’t keep the accusatory tone from his voice.

“We were weak Shane. One second everything in our life was perfect – at least our messed up version of perfect – and then it wasn’t. We didn’t know how to deal with a gay son. And then to have to admit that we drove him to take his own life?” She shook her head. “We were cowards. All he we had left was you and our reputation. It was selfish to ask you to take his place like that, but you just slipped so easily into the role that we never considered you might not want it.”

It had been his own fault for playing the role so well, he realized. “I thought I could give you back the part of him you loved most.”

“We didn’t love Michael because he fit some ridiculous mold we had created in our heads for him. We loved him because he was our son. We love you because you’re our son. Nothing you do or don’t do will ever change that and I hope you’ll give us the chance to prove it to you someday.”

Shane was feeling raw and confused and not even Savannah’s fingers stroking over his could ease the restlessness that hummed through him. “We need to go,” he muttered and then politely kissed his mother on her cheek, ignoring the dampness there and the longing in her eyes.

“Of course,” she said. “I’m just going to sit here for a little bit,” she said as she took a few steps back.

He nodded once and then he was walking away, nearly dragging Savannah behind him. He heard her mumble a quick goodbye to his mother, but he didn’t look back. She kept silent as he maintained the quick pace back to the car. He ripped open the passenger door for her and waited and then grunted as she grabbed his neck hard and pulled him down for a kiss. He let out all the anguish and torment he’d been feeling since the morning she’d left him out on her. She had started the kiss but he quickly took it over. But for every harsh stroke of his tongue or rough nip from his teeth, she countered with softness. When his fingers bit into her hips, she skimmed his biceps, caressed his neck, stroked his face. His anger and frustration waned and he gentled his hold on her as the kiss turned warm and seeking.

He wasn’t sure how many minutes they had stood there clinging to one another, but when he finally managed to pull back, she whispered, “You looked like you needed that.” Calm enveloped him and he nodded. “Can you drop me off at the bar? I need to talk to Logan.” He was still too wrung out to trust himself to speak so he nodded again and helped her into the car.

***

The little bell on the door jingled as she opened it and a rough, hoarse voice shouted, “We’re closed!” The bar was nearly pitch black so it took her a minute to acclimate her eyes. She’d only been in the place a few times, but she guessed his voice had come from behind the huge wood bar. There was a little bit of light from the cabinets that usually held endless rows of various types of liquor, but there were no bottles anywhere in sight today. The place was a mess. Glass all over the floor, tables overturned, trash on the floor. Gabe had told her the bar had been vandalized when Sam ditched it, but she hadn’t really comprehended what that meant. Her heart ached for Logan, knowing all the work he’d put into this place.

She found him sitting on the floor behind the bar, his legs drawn up, a half empty bottle at his side. Ironically, as a bar owner, Logan rarely drank, so to see him like this was difficult. He looked up at her with slightly bleary eyes but he was cognizant of her presence. “Don’t sit,” he said as he motioned to the floor. “There’s glass everywhere.” She didn’t bother to mention he was probably sitting on glass himself. Instead, she grabbed a nearby chair and pulled it over.

She sat and drew her knees up to her chin and just watched him. “You shouldn’t be here,” he finally said. She had guessed correctly – he wasn’t drunk, but he was starting to feel the loose tongue that just a little too much alcohol always seemed to bless people with. His buzz might actually help her get through his thick head.

“Why not?”

“Because you hate it here.”

“I don’t hate this place,” she mused as she looked around.

“I do.”

“No you don’t,” she countered.

“It took you from me,” he said and she felt her insides clench.

“This place didn’t do that. I did that.” He shook his head viciously. “I took your friends too,” she said.