Shark Bait (The Grab Your Pole Series) (42 page)

“Well, you said ‘girlfriend’ so, does that mean you’re willing to be committed to me and only me or were you using it as a more generic term? Because when I mentioned it Saturday night you completely avoided the subject,” I said and waited for the other shoe to drop because really, this just seems too easy.

He grimaced a little and as I was about to throw down condition number two, he stopped me. “Okay, I know what you’re thinking but let me say some things before you get all worked up about this. I’m gonna be honest here, Camie… Yes. I did avoid the subject because frankly, it freaks me out. It’d be a definite first for me and something I haven’t ever felt capable of doing, and plus, we just honestly don’t know each other very well yet...
but
that doesn’t mean I’m not willing. However, before I agree, I need you to accept some things first.”

Huh. He has terms too. Well who’d a thunk? I’m honestly kind of unprepared for this, but I hesitantly asked what there are anyway. “Ookaay, what are they?”

“Okay well, the first thing I need you to understand is that I get hit on. A lot. Like all the fuckin’ time.”

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, feeling my temper begin to flare. I don’t know where he’s going with this and scenes from that party are beginning to flash through my head so I’m getting irked in thinking he’s about to try justifying what he’d done. Seeing my rising irritation though, Tristan hurried on.

“Camie, it’s not something I’m proud of, believe me...I mean people don’t understand what it’s like. Most of ‘em think having chicks continually throwing themselves at me makes me a beast or makes me feel special or important or something, but the fact of the matter is, most of the time I find it almost degrading. It’s just that uh...until very recently, I haven’t really ever done anything to make my feelings known or done anything to discourage girls from making an um...effort. So, I just need you to be aware of all that because even though I cut myself off a while ago, people still aren’t used to the idea of me not being down for casual hook-ups anymore and until they are, chances are excellent that girls are gonna try to hit me up.

“Although, if you decide you can handle all my baggage and shit, I promise you I’ll do my damndest to not fuck shit up for us again like I did at that party. Which leads me to the second thing and that is, truthfully Camie, I can fly through water but I
can’t
walk on it so contrary to popular opinion, I’m not perfect. I know that might come as a shock to many people and I’m even surprised by it myself from time-to-time so I need you to accept that I’m gonna make mistakes, and chances are, you’re going to as well.

“Also, I am
not
Jeff. I don’t know how he and Kate do it, but
I do not
wanna go through anything even resembling last week or Saturday night ever again. I mean I understand there’s a good chance we’re gonna have an occasional argument because we’re both way too similar in temperament not to, but seriously Camie, that was just way too much for me. So, can we agree that when we screw up, we don’t carry it around like poison until it kills us?”

“Deal. But just so we’re clear…I’ll be it, right? No other girls?” I need to make absolutely certain that we’re on the same page here.

And I think this condition is more than fair, wouldn’t you agree? In fact, I think it’s an excellent one because I don’t want to relive anything like that either.

“Yep. Just you. And actually if I’m being honest, Camie…it’s
always
been you,” he told me with that lopsided grin of his that I’ve missed so very much.

YAY!! Oh, but umm, always?

“Um, what do you mean always?” I asked, knowing he meant something other than what I’m understanding.

“Camie, I’ve wanted to be with you and only you since before I ever met you…from the very first time I laid eyes on you…over
four months ago
…” he confessed and waited for my reaction.

Which was essentially stunned silence…

“Uh, I don’t understand,” I said because really, I don’t…four
months
? How is that even possible?

Oh wait, I got it…he must’ve meant four weeks…duh. I know I’m a little slow on the uptake sometimes and it’s really early, on a Monday no less, but I eventually get it together.

“I wouldn’t expect you to. Kate’s good, but she’s not omnipotent and Jeff doesn’t tell her everything when it has nothing to do with her,” he informed me and waited for me to put those pieces of information together.

Oh shit! I wonder exactly how much he knows about what we’ve been up to…it sounds like he’s known for quite a wh—wait, what the hell?

“Okay, you’re not telling me something…spill.”

“Call me, Camie,” he said simply, like that was an answer or something.

“
What?
” I’m totally not seeing what he’s getting at.

“Call. Me. Do it…right now,” he told me, being very mysterious in my personal opinion.

Okey dokey… I pulled my phone out again, dialed him and then heard the chorus and part of Nickelback’s “How You Remind Me” as he handed me his phone.

“You changed your ringtone,” I said with some disappointment. Not that I have grounds to be disappointed here, seeing as how I changed his on my phone to “Should’ve Said No” by Taylor Swift.

“Yeah, I got obliterated Friday night after the game and it seemed fitting at the time, I’ll change it later,” he returned and watched my face as I took in what he was trying to tell me.

The first thing I noticed is that my name is no longer “WHTC PREZ,” but is now “My Somebody” and then I saw what he really wanted me to see and…Oh my God. I’m looking at a picture of me sitting on the beach with my arms wrapped around my legs and my cheek resting on my knees almost like I’d been posing for it…and it’s
not
one that Jillian took. I know that because she’s given me all the ones she had
and
I was wearing a different bathing suit. A bathing suit that’s probably taking up space in a landfill right about now as I got rid of it in August. I’d gone swimming one day at my aunt and uncle’s and afterwards I put it over a chair to dry, but my cousin’s puppy got a hold of it and chewed it to pieces.

“Where did you get this?” I gasped, pretty much stunned silent again.

Well, I guess this answers the question about what picture Jeff was talking about…it’s actually a
very
good picture of me and I’m kind of at a loss.

“I took it the fourth time I saw you,” he answered softly.

“The
fourth
time?!” His phone slipped from my grasp in my shock.

“Mm-hm. I actually saw you a grand total of five times over the summer…mostly at the beach, but the second time was at the Del Mar Fair when you were there with Derek. I didn’t know what you two were all about, but when I saw you again and again at the beach I decided to take the picture. Actually, Jeff had made a joke about the way I was staring at you and that’s what gave me the idea to take it… I swear to God, Camie, trying to see you was like being on crack. I went surfing every fuckin’ day hoping you’d be there, but, after I took the picture I only got one more day... Then you vanished,” he explained, essentially admitting that
he’d
been stalking
me
. Oh the irony…

“You never said anything…then or later...why?” I asked, still trying to wrap my head around all this.

He sighed, looking like he was taking the time to weigh his words. “Well first off, it never seemed like the right time and you were never alone. Plus, I was essentially laboring under the false impression that you and Derek were going out and I didn’t feel right about trying to break you guys up…and fuckin’ Jeff...he was riding me pretty relentlessly about my little obsession with you over the summer and that’s wh—well then you showed up out of the blue at school and I decided I didn’t give a shit if you had a boyfriend or not.

“But then I opened a big fuckin’ can of worms for myself with Kate… I knew she could’ve been an even bigger pain in the ass than Jeff if she ever found out about any of that, so I convinced him not to say anything even though I knew she had a pretty good idea of what I was up to. And then I didn’t say anything to you because by the time I found out for certain that Derek and you are actually cousins, I was already in pretty deep and again, it freaked me out.”

WOW. Did you see
any
of this coming? I sure as hell didn’t… But something about how he said all that gave me the feeling he almost said something he didn’t mean to.

So, knowing there
was
something he’d left unsaid
,
I asked, “What did you leave out?”

He just narrowed his eyes at me and shook his head infinitesimally as if to say “Nuh-uh, absolutely not” which of course not only confirmed my suspicion, but it also makes me want to know that much more.

“Tristan, I’m done playing games…if you can’t tell me the complete truth after everything that’s happened, especially when I know you’re keeping something from me, then I won’t be able to trust you…period.”

I’m totally getting the feeling that I’m not gonna like it, but shit, not knowing whatever it is feels like a slap in the face,
especially
after all the crap we’ve finally just dealt with.

He closed his eyes and mimed hitting his head on the steering wheel while growling at me or himself, or, both of us…I’m not sure.

“Camie, please don’t ask me to tell you this…it’s a really fuckin’ bad idea and it’s not important,” he told me, shaking his downcast head.

When I didn’t say anything, he looked at me. Then he rolled his eyes and sighed in what seemed to me to be disgusted irritation. “Aw
shit
…this is gonna come back and bite me in the ass, I just know it. This is blackmail you know, so for the record I’m only telling you this under duress because you asked for complete honesty and I can’t have you holdin’ something over my head that doesn’t fuckin’ matter one way or another…and I still don’t know how you know about her, but I left out that goddamned cheerleader.”

Oh shit, yet another thing I didn’t see coming and like another bad car accident, I can’t make myself stop listening.

“Jeff was being such a
fucking
pain in the ass about you and I couldn’t stop thinking about you as it was and it was making me insane! I mean I swear to God, you two were pulling me right the fuck apart and I knew I had to do something before I snapped, and since Jeff sure as hell wasn’t goin’ anywhere and I didn’t even
know
you, I thought maybe goin’ back to my old ways for a night would get Jeff off my goddamned back for a while and get you outta my head once and for all so, I fucked the cheerleader. There, are you happy now?!”

My reaction was instantaneous so I really couldn’t help it when I bitterly snapped, “And how’d
that
work out for you?” But as soon as it was out, I felt calmer. He was right too, I didn’t need to know, but it goes to proving how seriously he’s taking what I ask of him, which is great.

“Obviously not all that goddamned well, thanks.
Fuck!
You see?! It’s been less than ten goddamned minutes and you’re already mad about something I did before I even
met
you…Camie, I can’t fuckin’ turn back time, okay?!” He railed, but more at himself than at me.

“Tristan, I’m not mad! I mean yeah, I was at first, but you’re right…I did force y—”

“Camie, I swear to God this is why I shouldn’t talk, we’d get along
so
much better if I just stick to what I’m best at doing…you know what, I’ll prove it.” He switched gears so fast it made my head spin. Or maybe it was the intensity I felt in his lips that did that…

As per usual when we kiss, we became utterly possessed. Actually, it seems like we only get this carried away if we’ve been arguing beforehand, which is interesting and something that possibly warrants further looking into. At another time, of course, because as I just mentioned, we’re wholly absorbed in the occupation of trying to crawl into each other’s skin via our mouths. Thus it wasn’t until the horn blew—I think my ass accidentally hit it—that it dawned on me that I was in the driver’s seat straddling Tristan’s lap. With great effort, I forced my lips from his and started to say something, but he beat me to the punch so to speak.

As soon as I pulled away and took a breath to speak, Tristan smooshed my lips together with his fingers and in a kind of childlike, pleading way he said, “No no, no talking…” Then he replaced his fingers with his lips.

When I just sat there not kissing him back, which took an astonishing amount of willpower on my part, he mumbled against my unmoving mouth, “Okay, this isn’t bad but it works so much better when you move your lips too…did you forget how? ‘Cause I can show you…see, it’s like this…”

I pulled my mouth away again and hid from my expression my amusement at his whimpering reaction. He’s totally pouting like a little boy; it’s really cute and damned funny.

“Tristan, this is another thing I wanted to talk about…”

He gave up on getting me to kiss him back and chose the next best thing available to him at the moment, which is my neck. Fighting the shivers he’s giving me, I tried again, albeit not quite as resolved as before.

“Please don’t make this harder for m—”

“Not possible,” he murmured and shifted suggestively underneath me, thereby calling my attention to the massive Freudian slip I’d made.

Yeah, I can’t blame him for this one though…I totally walked into it.

“Okay, see? That right there…that’s my other condition…” I finally spit out.

Jeez, you’d think I don’t know how to converse or something. I also finally got his attention, but the look on his face was more like amused consideration. Okay, so maybe it didn’t come out
quite
like I thought it did in my head.

“
Ugh
, that didn’t come out right…”

“Would you be surprised if I beg to differ on that point?” He asked, chuckling at me with a hint of cocky smugness.

“Not one little bit, and that’s the point I’m
trying
to make…I wanna go back a base or two,” I told him, being more or less straightforward. I mean I know that’s not the only thing he wants, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t scare the bejesus out of me. Because honestly, I have a really difficult time making sound decisions when we’re doing anything aside from holding freaking hands.