Shattered (10 page)

I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders.  I didn’t think a man like him would be ok with taking things slow. He squeezes my hand drawing me out of haze and I turn and give him my answer. “I would like that.”

Chapter 8  

As we walk into Barney’s we notice that the place is packed. “I hope we can find a spot to sit down and get some drinks. I don’t want to be standing all night waiting for a table.” My sister remarks as she comes up standing next to me.

Still holding my hand Caleb guides us over to the reserved section of the bar. “Oh wow when did we become VIP is lovely place?  I take it you ladies come here a lot.” She looks at all of us with wide eyes.  I just snickered because I guess the one thing my sister forgot to ask Caleb is what he did for a living, which really should have been number one on her list along with ‘what are your intentions with my sister’.

Kris bellows out a laugh and the rest of us join her. “Wait what am I missing? Can someone please fill me in here?” She
does not like all of us laughing at her. “Well it kind of helps when the owner has the hots for your sister.  That’s how you become VIP.” Kylie decided to let her in on the joke as she takes a seat and pats the empty spot next to her for my sister to sit down. My sister looks over at me and Caleb and I can’t help but laugh.

“That should have been your first question sis.  He just
isn’t in the band he also owns this lovely bar.” I feel proud at the moment to have one up on my sister.  Plus I also like having the feeling that the man sitting next to me knows how to make his own living.

“I wondered how we got in so quick.  I mean there was a long line outside and we just walked up and got right in.  Goodness it nice to know someone who owns a bar.  We just may have to visit more often.” She tossed a wink in our direction.  “Oh thanks sis.  So what now your main reason for coming to visit is going to be because you want to come to the bar. I feel so loved.  Thank you for choosing alcohol over your own flesh and blood.”  I wink back at her so she will know that I am just messing with her. “You know what I mean biotch, don’t even try it with me. Now I need a drink.” 

On cue Luke walks up with a bottle of my favorite vodka and shot glasses.  He takes every ones drink order
s and promises to be back soon.  Caleb fills all the shot glasses and we all toast for a great night. 

Luke comes back just in time
and everyone sits back and lets conversations flow with ease.  I decide it’s time for me to relax too.  I lean back in my seat only to find myself pressed up against Caleb’s side.  He has me tucked under his arm, with it draped over my shoulder.  At first I tense up but then I just relax into to him. 

“Are you enjoying yourself tonight Ryan?” I could sit here all night and just listen to him say my name over and over again
, that’s how much I love the way it sounds coming out. I turn my body to the left a little so I can look at him, I find his breathtaking eyes and honestly tell him how I feel.  “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at the moment.”

We are just staring at each other like we both are searching for something. He breaks his gaze from eyes and they land on my lips and linger.  His eyes left back to mine and desire is swimming in them.  With his reaction to my lips I run my tongue along the top and bottom lip making them moist.

Taking his hand from the back of little loveseat that we are on, he places it on the back of my head, tangling his fingers in my hair.  Pulling me closer he searches my eyes for approval.  I tilt my head a little, just enough I hope, so that way he will understand that it’s ok.  Taking my cue, he pulls me a little closer and he leans the rest of the way.

I didn’t think that I would feel a thing.  I mean this isn’t our first kiss.  But the sparks flew and butterflies exploded in my stomach and a low moan left my mouth.  I let him kiss me softly because I didn’t want him to see how much I really wanted him.

He caressed my top and bottom lip with his tongue asking permission and being the lady that I am, I let him in.  His tongue was making sweet love with my own. Just stroking and caressing it.  I was so lost in the passion that I forgot that we were in the bar.  His right hand tangled in my hair keeping me close to him while his left hand was on my neck. My hands fisted in his shirt never wanting to let go.  I didn’t want this to end I felt like I was 14 again making out on my parents couch while they were in bed. I didn’t think that making out could be this much fun but it is.

I slowed the kiss down so that we wouldn’t take it any further than just a simple kiss.  He felt me slowing down and let out a little growl of frustration, that made me giggle. “Did you just growl at me?” I rested my forehead on his and he continued to kiss my face.

“Maybe I did, I didn’t want to stop.  Kissing you is like an addiction.” I could not agree more with that statement but do I want him to know that? I just looked up at him and smiled. 
Come on Ry hold it together so that way he doesn’t get the impression that you really do want this to go further
.

“So what you’re saying
is I am like a good drug?” I was trying to be sassy and break up this intensity that we had going on. “Oh yeah, the best kind.  You know the one you can’t live without, the one that helps you make it through the day, the one that mixes in your veins and to help you breathe?  That type of drug.  One that I do not want to give up anytime soon, one that I would like to inject every day.” 

I hope he didn’t notice that my jaw was on the floor and my eye
s were wide.  Never have I been so turned on, well that’s a lie, dancing with the guy makes me need to put on new underwear. But it doesn’t help that the whole time he was speaking about injecting me he was kissing my neck and my jaw. I would so love to do be that inject able drug right now. I don’t know how much more of this night I can take but I do know for damn sure is that this man is bringing out his glue.

“Close your mouth
Ry, let’s go dance.”Shit I need to control that a little more often. How many more times am I going to embarrass myself with my lack of mind and mouth coordination.  I should really work on that, mental note; mind and mouth please start working together. He grabs my hand and we head out on the dance floor. 

I
don’t remember much about the girls or seeing my sister. We lost ourselves on the dance floor, never loosing contact.  The feeling of him never wanting to let me go was so strong I was afraid of what I was feeling for the man.  He held me, guided me, and protected me all while never letting go of me. This can’t be good.  This can’t be good at all.  My walls are falling down; his soft spoken words are making their way in.

It is scaring the total crap out of me. I don’t want to go with the flow, I do want to get lost in him and allow myself some freedom but how do I know if his g
lue will hold me together.  I can hear my sister now.
“Ry, you won’t know unless you go out there and fall all over again.”

Should I fall or should I keep up my walls? I feel like running.
No man after just two weeks and one semi date should ever make me feel this way. I don’t want this to be based on just lust.  But I also can’t hide myself from him, I am falling, I just hope I don’t hit pavement.

“Don’t over think this Ryan.”
He gently placed kisses a long my jaw, forehead, and neck.

“Don’t
worry I can’t think at all when you do things like that.” He chuckled. “I know the feeling.”

Chapter 9

“We always walk fine lines with the path of destruction”
I feel like that should be like my life’s motto. I don’t know who said it, maybe I did but it is so true. Being in Caleb’s arms is allowing me to walk that fine line.  My heart is yelling
‘NOOOOOO’
while my brain and body are screaming
‘HELL YES, you deserve this’
. “Have dinner with me Sunday night just you and me and no one else.”

I want to say yes, I want to go for this but do I? I search is face hoping to find something that will lead me away. I can’t find anything, nothing
, just the constant look of hope. Is his hope for me to say yes? “I would love to have dinner with you. Maybe we should exchange numbers this time.” There I let one brick fall from the solid wall that I have placed all over my heart.

We make our way back to the couches where my sister and her husband are sitting.  “Having fun tonight sis?” She is downing he
r beer and looking around.

“Yes Ryan I am.  I really like this place Caleb. But I am a little sad I didn’t get to hear you play or get to get sis up on the stage and sing a song with her.  I read that Sunday nights and Tuesday nights
are karaoke nights only.” She is making a sad face, pouting to him about not being able to sing.  And she calls me the baby. Please.

“Well you know Renee, I know the owner and he can pretty much do
anything  you would like, well to a certain extent, so if you want to sing I think I can pull a few strings.” Renee’s eyes just about exploded out of her head with Caleb’s words.  She shoots up and runs to the DJ’s booth and grabs the books so she can pick out a song.

“Oh man thanks for that.  I would’ve had to listen to her whine about not being able to sing for about a week.  You have just saved me a lot of
headaches.” Anthony looked down right ecstatic and fist pumped Caleb.  I just shook my head. 

Giving my sister permission to sing is like letting a dog know they can drink from the toilet anytime. You don’t want to let them but if you tell them no they will just keep going back until you finally give in.  She comes back to our section sits down and looks directly at me.  She doesn’t have to say it, just one look and I know what she wants. 

Our special twin powers kick in and I just groan. “Let me guess, you get Reba and I get Linda?” Not saying a word she jumps up and grabs my hands and pulls me to the stage.  Do I have enough alcohol in my system for this? Probably not.

  “Ladies and gentlemen please welcome Renee and Ryan!” the DJ called out. The music died down and people started for their seats.  All three girls stood in front of the stage waiting to hear us sing for the first time.  You could see the anticipation rolling off their skin.

“All right people this is the first time I have ever sang with my baby sister on stage.  I hope you guys don’t mind a little country tonight.  This song goes out to our wonderful mother who is with us in spirit tonight.” Ugh really did she just have to say that? I didn’t want to sing this song with tears in my eyes.  I just wanted to sing it not stumble all over my words.

Ok Ry you need to pull yourself together.  You can do this.
Sis always wanted to be Reba so tonight she took the lead. Our voices mixed together and we both sang words that we only sang in the car when we were younger. ’Does he love you’ is one song sis always tried to get me to duet with her. And tonight you can see the pride in her eyes as we belted out the lyrics to one another.

I shot a glance over at our table
, all the men are sitting down and of course Nick has his camera out.  God I am going to have to relive this one too.  But maybe its one of those memories that I want to hold onto after all. 

We hit every high note and every low note in between.
When the song was over I felt a sense of accomplishment. We headed back to our seats with our heads held up high.  We were the only ones that sang tonight and that was ok by me.

As the night came to an end I was feeling better about the thought of me and Caleb.  He was attentive to my every need.  Not to mention his hands never left mine.  The sensation of that was beyond what I could comprehend.  I have never had a guy be all about me and my needs
, he made me feel wanted. Was I falling? No it can’t be we just met and haven’t found our way yet.  I can’t, no I can’t comprehend falling in love with a man I just met.

“Hey
Ry, let’s have lunch tomorrow before I go home.  Would that be ok?” Renee was leaning over, a little too far I might add. “Sure sis, where would you like to go?” I was trying to get her off my lap.  I think she had one too many but it was funny watching my sister let loose every now and then.

“I don’t care and bring the Greek God with you, I need to interrogate him some more.” Caleb chuckled next to me trying to hide his laughter. “Yeah ok sis I will bring the God with me.” I pushed her off me and put her back on Anthony’s lap.

“Oh make sure you go home with him too, because I need to know if he is more than just a Rock God, I wanna know if he is a God in the sheets as well.” She was slurring all over the place and I felt my face flame up with her statement. Oh my God how embarrassing! The whole group started howling in laughter.

“Well Renee maybe
it’s time for us to go so I can give your sister something to tell you tomorrow.” Well shit if I wasn’t mortified before I am now. Not just that, I am stunned as well. I shot him a look and he just shrugged his shoulders. I can’t go home with him, can I?