Shattered Dreams (10 page)

“
Stand down and cover me,
Jamison.” 

“
Greyson, darn it. We are
all going in. We are in this crap
together.” 

“
I said to stand down and
cover me, Private. That’s an order.” Sgt. Greyson, yells, ducking
while running into the condemned and dilapidated
building. 

“
Darn it, Greyson, don’t be
a freaking hero,” I yell, but he is already out of view. Lanford,
Snider, Poland, Mahoney, Wagner, Wilson, and I all stay behind and
cover him. We remain still, hidden behind some bushes and look
around for the enemy. My heart races and my palms sweat. I swear I
can feel my pulse beating in my neck. We wait and after several
minutes I decide to go in. “Screw Greyson and his orders. I’m going
in, cover me.” I take a step forward and that’s when the explosion
goes off. The sound is deafening and the debris from the building
hits many of the members in the platoon.  

When the smoke finally clears, I see that the
building Max entered is on fire. Someone calls for help on the
radio while the other troops administer first aid to those injured.
I run into the building that Max entered and stop only when I see
his lifeless body. “No!” I scream.  

That is how I remember his
death.  

Not we are one week post Greyson’s death and
the Army has arranged each of the platoon members to call home.
Mahoney was sent to an Army hospital due to the severity of his
injuries. They also arranged for us to get some counseling for
P.T.S.D.: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. We were all present when
Greyson ordered us to stand down so he could enter a condemned
building to check for its safety. I will never forget that dreadful
day and I will never be able to thank or repay Max Greyson for his
selfless actions. If we all had entered that building, none of us
would have survived that bomb. 

“
Hello, Brice?” Brooke asks
on skype. 

“
I’m here,
Sweetie.” 

“
Oh, thank God. Brice, are
you all right? Are you coming home? God, I miss you,” she
cries. 

“
Brooke, I’m ok. I love you,
and I miss you and the boys so much.” 

“
Are you coming
home?” 

“
No, Sweetie, we won’t be
home. When is Max’s funeral?” I ask, trying to hold in the
sobs. 

“
Oh, Brice, Max is gone.
Emma is a wreck. James won’t even know his dad.” She
sniffles. 

“
I know, Sweetie. We were
there. Do you know when the funeral is for him?” 

“
In two days, they are
having a memorial for him in two days. It’s so sad. Emma just
stares out into space; she doesn’t eat or drink. I want to be there
for her, but I don’t know how to be. Are you safe? I just want you
to come home.”  

“
Sweetie, just being there
with her is good enough. I’ll be home as soon as I can. Brooke, my
time for skype is up. I love you, and I miss you and the boys so
much.” 

“
I love you, too. Be safe
and hurry home.”  

Chapter Three: Four Years Later

Emma

“
Emma, this is the last
box,” my dad yells from the empty foyer. 

I walk up to him and smile. “That box goes in
the kitchen.” 

I follow him through the maze of boxes
leading into the kitchen. “That’s everything,” Danny says,
following behind us. 

I laugh and say, “I forgot how much stuff we
had.” I look around the small three-bedroom, two-bathroom house I
just bought.  

After Max’s death, James and
I returned to Florida. I have been staying with my parents and have
recently graduated college from the
University of
South Florida College
with a degree in business. I decided it was time for me and James
to move out and to be on our own. Danny, Cheryl, mom, and dad have
been wonderful in helping me with James and for offering
emotional
support. Without them, I’m not
sure I could have done it, or held myself
together.  

Max’s death has taken its toll on everyone.
He died a hero and we are so proud of that. We later learned that
Max volunteered to enter a building to check for its safety before
his troops went in. That was when the bomb went off, killing Max
instantly. The first year, after his death, is a blur. We had him
cremated as he wished and had a memorial for him at Fort Drum, New
York, and another memorial for him in his hometown of Sarasota,
Florida. 

After Max’s death, I got
some insurance money for me and James got money from another
insurance policy Max had set up. James will have access to his
money on his 21
^st
. birthday. I also got some
military benefits because of Max. I banked the money until I knew
what I wanted to do with it. Cheryl and mom found this house, and
once I saw it, I knew it was perfect for me and
James.  

James comes running up to me with excitement
on his face. “Momma, did you see my room?” 

“
I did.” 

“
Did you see the train in my
room?” 

“
What?” I ask, looking at
Danny and then at my dad. 

“
Momma, there’s a big train
in my room. It’s on the wall and goes all the way around the room,”
James says, pointing to the ceiling and turning around in a circle,
indicating where the train is.  

“
Really?” I ask, following
James into his bedroom. I already know what train he is talking
about. I had no idea Danny and my dad had located the train or even
had time to put it up. I remember how long it took Max and Danny to
place it on the walls in James’ room in our duplex in Fort
Drum.
Apparently, it took a lot less time
than before to set everything up since they already had the train
track shelving from our last house.  

I stand at the doorway of James’ room. I am
in awe at the train that has been installed on the wall that goes
around the entire perimeter of his room. 

“
See,
momma.” 

I bend down so I can see James face to face.
“This is the train your daddy bought for you when you were a
baby.” 

“
It is?” he
asks. 

“
It is. Your daddy loved
trains and it took your daddy and both your grandpas many hours
putting it together and putting it on the walls for you. Daddy
loved trains so much that he wanted you to have the best train set
ever.” 

“
Does it work?” James ask,
walking further into his otherwise empty
room.  

“
James, do you see this
light switch?” my dad asks.  

James nods. Dad turns the light switch on and
the train slowly begins to move. We all watch as the train travels
the perimeter of the room. I smile and my nose begins to tingle as
my eyes fill with tears.  

“
Momma, it works and I have
the best train ever!” James says.  

“
Yes, James, I do believe
you do.” I look up at dad and Danny. “Thank you,” I
mouth. 

“
James, you turn it off with
this switch here,” Danny says. “Do you want to try
it?” 

“
Yes, please.” James walks
over and turns the switch off, then on. His face lights up when the
train starts to move.  

“
It’s very important to make
sure you turn it off,” my dad adds. 

“
Ok, pap. I
will.” 

James calls my dad pap and calls Max’s dad
granddad. Max called his grandfather granddad, so Danny wanted that
name to be carried on. I’m sure Max would have wanted that as well.
My dad joked and said he is far too young to be a grandpa so he had
James call him pap as soon as he could talk.  

“
I need to get the U-Haul
returned before they charge us for another day,” my dad says,
walking out the door. Danny follows behind
him.  

“
James, stay here with your
grandmas,” I say and then follow my dad and Danny down the hallway
through the maze of boxes to the front door. “When did you guys
have time to put the train up?” I ask, looking from my dad to
Danny. 

“
Last night we came back
over and searched through the boxes until we found the one with the
train. I had the screws and screwdriver in my toolbox in the truck
and it didn’t take that long,” my dad says, not looking at me but
looking at Danny. 

“
That didn’t take that long
to put up?” I ask, looking from Danny to my dad
again.  

Danny laughs, “No, not really. I was afraid
it would take a couple of weeks, so ten hours wasn’t too
bad.” 

“
Thank you, I know James
loves it. I didn’t expect to see the train up and running.” I hug
them, my nose tingles, and a tear slides down my
cheek.  

“
Emma, you don’t need to
thank us. I did it for my own selfish reasons, I’m afraid,” Danny
admits. 

I understand Danny’s reason
for putting up the train set in James’ bedroom so soon. I am
certain he did it for James
and
for Max. That is the first thing Max would have
done after moving here.  

“
Well, whatever reasons you
had, you have made a little boy very happy.” 

I know it’s still hard for us to talk about
Max. I have a huge hole in my heart that will never heal. I loved
him with my whole heart, and as hard as it is for me, I can’t even
begin to imagine Danny and Cheryl’s pain. Max was their only
child.  

“
We better get going; we’ll
pick up some pizza for dinner while we’re out,” dad
says. 

“
We’ll be right back,” Danny
says, walking out the door after my dad.  

I get a cold chill every
time Danny says that. “I’ll be right back” were Max’s words he
spoke every time he left the house. I don’t even think he realizes
Max would say the same thing.
Like father,
like son.
James may say those exact same
words one day, too. I walk back down the hall and James is walking
through the house with both of his grandmothers. He excitedly
points out the shared bathroom and the second bedroom. “You can
sleep in here when you come over to visit, and we can share this
bathroom.” I smile as I listen to James give the grand tour of the
house. “And momma’s room is down here,” James says as he walks his
grandmothers down the hallway to the last bedroom. “Momma has her
own bedroom. This is her big closet and this is daddy’s closet over
there,” James says. “Well, if daddy wasn’t in heaven, this would be
his closet.” 

I hear a sniffle and I already know it’s
coming from Cheryl. “Who wants pizza for dinner?” I ask, looking
directly at James. I know Cheryl will be ok and there is no need to
draw attention to her sadness. 

“
Me, me,” James says,
jumping up and down. We all laugh at his
enthusiasm.  

“
Good, granddad, and pap
went to get us some for dinner. They won’t be long so why don’t you
go and wash up?” 

“
Ok, momma, be right
back.” 

I get another cold chill and shiver. I guess
he’ll say it sooner rather than later.  

“
Emma, this is going to make
a perfect family home for you and James, Max would have loved this
house,” Cheryl says, and my mother nods in
agreement. 

I look out the large bay window at the lanai
and the jungle gym in the backyard. The six-foot-high white vinyl
fence separates our yard from the neighbor’s yards. “Thank you. I
think so, too. The house is perfect, but the A+ school district
only adds to its appeal.” 

After dinner, I ask Danny and Cheryl if James
can spend the night with them. They are excited to have him and he
is excited to stay. “I appreciate it. I want to try to get some of
these boxes unloaded. Four years in storage, I’m almost afraid of
the condition some of this stuff will be in.” 

“
Honey, do you want some
help? I’ll be glad to stay and help you,” my mom
offers. 

“
No, but thank you. So many
memories are packed away in those boxes, and I think I need to do
it alone. You know, ‘face my fears,’ as they say.” 

“
I understand. If it becomes
too much or you decide you want some help, call
me.” 

“
Call me, too, Emma. I’ll
come right over,”
Cheryl adds. “I know it
won’t be easy. I still haven’t been through everything of Max’s at
the house. I miss him so much.”  

My nose tingles and I rub it to make it stop.
“Me, too, Cheryl, I miss him every day. I would give anything to
have him here with us.” 

After everyone leaves, I head to the grocery
store to get some food for the new house, but mostly I need some
Gain and Downy to wash the blankets that have been in storage for
the last four years. I head home and smile at the quaint little
white house with yellow shutters that sits at the end of the
cul-de-sac road. Our new house. It’s not on the beach, but it’s
close enough for James and me to walk there. I go into the lonely
house and turn on all of the lights. Since Max’s death, I don’t
like to be in the dark. My life was filled with darkness, and I
don’t want to go there again. I turn on some country music and sit
on the floor in the living room.  

I open the first box, and memories that I
didn’t know I had come rushing back to me. I remove the shadow box
that holds the neatly folded flag that draped Max’s casket. Even
though we had Max cremated, his parents wanted to show him first. I
run my fingers along the edge and gently touch it. I cry silent
tears and wipe them away.