Shattered Edge (20 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

Justin

When she was late and didn’t return my calls, my guts tightened and then twisted. Something was wrong. Bad wrong. Seven went by, then seven fifteen and I was in my car headed to her house. Her street was cordoned off by the time I got there and smoke was billowing everywhere.

I never turned my car off...just left my keys in the ignition with the engine running as I ran toward her house. Police tape was already up and they wouldn’t let me through.

“That’s my fiancé's house. I need to go to her!” I screamed.

The officer grabbed me by the shoulders and said, “Sir, calm down.”

“I’m a fucking doctor. I can help her.”

“Sir!”

I kept shouting and then there were several, I don’t know how many, police officers around me, pulling me back.

“Sir! Sir! Listen to me. Is there someone you can call?”

What the hell was wrong with these guys?

“What are you talking about? I need to go to Terri! She needs me!”

“Sir, she doesn’t need you. I’m sorry sir. Is there a family member you can call?”

“I don’t understand.”

“She’s gone sir. The explosion was so fierce. Nothing could’ve survived it. She and her mother died instantly.”

“Died? Terri and her mother?”

He walked me toward an ambulance that was parked further away and the paramedic started talking to me. I couldn’t tell you a thing about what he said. I’m not sure how, but I saw my dad and Pearce walking toward me. I knew this was bad. It was starting to sink in now.

“I want to go home.” I started to walk toward my car. I stumbled once, then twice and face planted.

Pearce’s voice came through the thundering in my ears. “I got you buddy. Hang on brother, I got you.” He was helping me up and I got into a car. I don’t really remember anything, other than sheer numbness. My mind, my brain, my arms and legs.

They say there are seven stages of grief. I hit the first four immediately...shock, pain, anger and depression. I didn’t think I’d ever pass through of any of them.

How could this have happened to her...a car bomb? This was Charleston for fuck’s sake. People didn’t get blown up by car bombs here. How could I go on...she meant everything to me? Everything. Every damn time I closed my eyes, her face was there, murmuring sweet sexy words or telling me she loved me. Fuck this shit. This was SO not fair. So goddamn unfair. She was so young and we were at the beginning of our lives together. How could this happen and who would do this to her? Goddammit!

I would go days without bathing. I only ate to stay alive. I took a leave of absence. Phil begged me to come in for therapy. I could barely leave my home. I was beyond dysfunctional...I was nonfunctional.

Phil started coming to me. He prescribed medication and he asked me to move in with my parents temporarily. I told him no.

“Justin, you can’t go on like this.” He held my hands out and examined them. My hands and arms were chafed from where I had rubbed the skin off.

“Why?”

He looked at me and said, “Man, I wish I knew that answer. There never is a why. It just is.”

“I don’t want to go on without her.”

“I know you don’t. But you have to and you will. And do you know why?”

I shook my head.

“Because it’s what she would’ve have wanted you to do.”

BAM! He was so damned right. If there was one thing about Terri, she was strong and wouldn’t have wanted me wallowing around like this.

“Yeah, you’re right. Okay. I’m going to get my ass in gear. I’ll do it for her.”

Phil left me with a list of everything he wanted me to do every day. And I started that day.

That night when it was time for bed, I climbed in the sheets and curled on my side. She snuggled right in there front of me, like she had every night since the explosion. I put my nose on her neck and smelled that lavender body butter that she loved so much. And that night I told her good bye...that she had to leave here for good. Because that’s what she’d want for me...for us. I cried like a baby and never thought I’d stop.

The next morning, Lexi and I planned her memorial service. One of her dreams was to eventually walk the 10K Cooper River Bridge Run so I decided her service would only include my family and Alana. It would take place in the middle of the Arthur Ravenel, Jr. Bridge, otherwise known as the New Cooper River Bridge. We would do it this weekend and since Avery wouldn’t be able to walk there, we would get a car to drive her there and then come back to pick her up. Afterwards, we would go to Home Team to toast her.

The service was brief, I was unable to speak much for my emotions were so raw. Pearce and Lexi handled most of it, but Lexi couldn’t say much either. She was almost as much of a wreck as I was. Even at Home Team, I felt like a shell. Everywhere I looked I saw her face and heard her voice. I imagined it would always be like this for me.  I’d better buck up and get used to it.

Running saved my life. Moving from one foot to the other, in a constant rhythm, Wiz Khalifa or Juicy J loud as shit, blaring in my ears, kept my demons at bay. Starting out with three miles and quickly moving through to a 10K for the Cooper River Bridge Run, I kept at it and poured myself into training and working out.

Everyone was fooled...well, almost everyone. Phil wasn’t, nor was Lexi or Pearce. But that was okay. Like I told them, I would never get over Terri. I would grieve for her until the day I died. But at least I was functioning. Barely, but I was doing things. I wasn’t having fun. Work, working out, and meeting my basic physical needs were my life. My life had shattered into a million pieces the day she died. I don’t think I had enough time left in my life to put the pieces of that puzzle back together again. I stared at the ring on my finger...the one I would take to my grave. She gave it to me for Valentine’s Day, after we’d gotten back from our trip, only we didn’t know then how apropos it would really be.

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

Caroline

I have a new name. It’s Caroline Cole. It goes with my new social security number, birth certificate, passport, driver’s license and face. I have blonde hair and green eyes. Contacts of course. They wanted to implant colored lenses in my eyes, but I wouldn’t let them. They’re still experimental. I also had plastic surgery. So did my mother, although she was much more excited about hers than I was. She got a facelift out of the deal. Mine...a change in my nose, a different chin and newly sculpted cheekbones. They put something in them to make them look more prominent. The surgeon said I was model quality now...like I could give a monkey’s ass. He wanted to enhance my lips but I told him I would twist his balls off if he tried. I guess he believed me because my lips look the same. They also removed all the scarring on my leg. I’m not sure how, but you almost need a damn magnifying glass to see any of them now. They did liposuction and removed all of my curves. I cried. Justin loved my curves, especially my ass. I still have my ass but now I really don’t have much in the way of hips. They said it would make me less recognizable. I think I look like a boy now.

Preston is still alive. I keep trying to help them but they won’t let me.

“Caroline, (I have to say, sometimes when they say that name I still don’t answer to it and it pisses them off--I don’t do it on purpose though. I just forget that’s my new name.) you have no formal training. You would be a serious hazard out there.”

I blew out my breath. “I’m not talking about out there. I’m talking about in here. Like for instance, you know that one cartel is now mining for coal. What if they’re also into farming? Or exporting legal products and shipping drugs that way? And I’m just throwing this out there, but what if there’s a connection between some big business here and one of the cartels?”

They all looked at me and Preston finally said, “That’s a fair question and actually a very good one. We’ve always gone on the assumption that they just have their teams here that infiltrate and get dealers to sell their stuff, but not on a high end level. Maybe there is some connection here.”

I sat there with a smug smile on my face. I had to do this. It was something that I felt desperately about.

“Okay Caroline. Do your research. But you can’t start until someone comes and secures your lines. If the cartel gets on to you, this whole thing starts again. Got it?”

“Yep. And thanks. It’ll keep my mind occupied.”

“Caroline. Follow the money. It’ll always lead you to where you need to go.”

I nodded, and then I put my hand on my chest and rubbed it. I felt around for my security blanket. When my hand landed on it, I pulled it out of my shirt and looked at it as I felt a warmth fall across my body. I imagined, only for the briefest of moments, that it was his arms. That was all I’d allow myself, or the tears would come and I couldn’t afford that. This had been my one huge refusal. I told them I would die, I’d kill myself before I’d let them take these from me...my engagement ring and the chunk of a diamond necklace that Justin had given me for Christmas. I’d gotten a longer chain and I wore them both on it, underneath my clothing. I never took them off. I never would, except for that final time.

The lines were finally secured and I went to work. I poured through everything the DEA handed over to me until my eyes were blurry from lack of sleep. I lived on caffeine...coffee, espresso, lattes, Coke Zero, anything to keep me awake. Everything they had pointed to the cartel’s own holdings. They had sources all over the world, from poppy fields in Afghanistan to coca crops in the Andes, Bolivia and other places in South America. They even had marijuana crops grown here, in mountains in California by illegal aliens. It was a massive operation set up with precision and operated with pure cash flow in mind.

Preston’s prison term had come when he’d been busted for selling coke to a DEA agent. Of course, it had all been a contrived thing. He wanted to get into prison so he could get close to one of the cartel members who was serving a prison term. That was the beginning of his relationship with them. When he was released, he made his connection and things started to move. Unfortunately, the cartel wanted to track him to his home. They somehow found he had Charleston connections and decided it was his family. That’s when my “death” became imminent.

Looking at all this information, I felt my heart move because it was now so clear to me. I knew Preston wouldn’t lie. Once I’d realized he hadn’t been a drug addict, I knew he was telling me the truth. But the enormity of how horrific these people were collided with my brain and it seemed to suck all the softness out of me. These bastards would have ruined my family...yes, I considered Justin’s family to be my family. They would’ve tortured them and killed them in gruesome ways. Even though this ordeal had all but destroyed me, I knew Preston had done right by Justin.

My life changed this day. My mission was to destroy them in return. They’d killed me once and took away the only thing that I ever cared about...would ever care about for the rest of this pointless life of mine. They wouldn’t do it again.

********

My mom looked at me and said, “What’s changed? Your eyes have a fire in them that I haven’t seen in...well I really can’t remember when.”

“I have a new mission. Preston has agreed to let me help them look for these bastards...find the connection here on this end.”

My mother looked like she’d been hit with a baseball bat right on her kneecaps. “No! You can’t do that.”

“Mom, calm down. I’m not going anywhere. I’m only doing it online...you know, researching. Looking for clues, links, anything to find out how they’re getting their stuff into this country. It’s got to be big and I’m gonna try to uncover it.”

“Oh Ter...”

“Mom!”

“Caroline.
Damn!”

“Don’t worry. If I find anything, the line will be cut and no one will be the wiser.”

She shook her head, not liking it one bit.

“Let’s go to lunch.”

“Really?” I hadn’t gone out to lunch with her in months...well, since I was Terri.

“Yeah, really.”

We were living near Quantico, Virginia in a small two bedroom condo. It worked fine for us. Mom was working as a receptionist at a doctor’s office. That worked great because I had the house to myself during the day with no interruptions. The condo had a small study where the computer was set up. I actually had two now that I did my work on.

There was a great little cafe not too far from the house that we both liked, so that’s where we ended up.

“You look better Caroline.”

“Thanks Mom. I wish I felt better. But I do have a purpose now.”

“Yeah. I can see it in everything about you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. She looked really great. That facelift made her look more like my older sister than my mom. I was hoping she could find someone that made her happy. They’d manufactured a whole life for us...she was a widow. Her first husband, my Dad, had died suddenly of a heart attack five years ago. She had no other children but me. Lucky her! We were originally from Indiana, but she had an elderly aunt who lived here and we came out here to take care of her, but shortly after we arrived, she’d passed away too. How sad for us. I’d worked as an administrative assistant to a realtor but was sort of hunting for a new career.

“Mom, do you ever think about getting married again?”

“Oh no Caroline. I don’t think I’d ever want to. Too many demands on a person.”

I felt my face fall. I’d wanted, no prayed for those demands. And they’d been torn out of my grasp before I’d ever even had the chance. I blinked hard and fast, doing my best to keep the tears at bay. They were never very far away.

“I’m sorry honey. I should think before I talk sometimes.”

“It’s okay,” I whispered brokenly. I knew she hadn’t meant anything by it. I had a hole inside of me that would always be there, never shrinking but expanding ever so slightly every day. There wasn’t anything in this world that would make it go away. Well, there was, but that was like reaching for a star and then finding it was only an illusion after all. I prayed that one day, that hole would swallow me up and put me out of my misery.

********

Most of the drug smuggling was taking place on the Mexican border states. That didn’t make sense for the East Coast. I knew there was something else going on, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. How was the stuff getting here? Someone had to be helping it.

I started looking at all the big importers. I called Preston.

“Hey, I know what you’re probably gonna say, but your guys have checked all the importers, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, the drugs are getting to the East Coast somehow. But how is the question. I know the border thing. But there has to be an alternate route. So, have you all checked everything that comes in from Mexico? You know, like produce. We get an ass load of our produce from there.”

“Right. I’m pretty sure it’s been checked.”

“Can we check it again? Can I check it? There has to be something to all this.”

“Let me see what I can do.”

I kept working this angle and for some reason something kept nagging me. It was probably nothing, but it was worth a try.

“One other question. Imported produce from Mexico is usually shipped by truck, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“How is it inspected when it arrives?”

“Supposedly, like looking for a needle in a haystack. Dogs, you name it, they’re used. But you never know. I’ve learned not to believe in any system as perfect. There are flaws everywhere.”

“Okay. One last question. Is there a main distributing company that handles this stuff before it gets parceled out?”

“I’ll have someone check on that. But I’d have to say yeah. Then it goes into the grocery store warehouses.”

“All right. Let me know what you find.”

Preston and I went back and forth on this a couple of times a week. He’d only call when he could because he had to use disposable phones. Since my “death,” he’d been accepted into the loop, but not close enough to get the meaty information.  I had to settle for what I could get, when I could get it.

Two weeks later, the phone rang and it was Preston.

“Pack a bag, enough for a week.”

“Why?”

“You’re going to El Paso. To EPIC.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. The director likes your thought processes and he wants to look into this a little further. Caroline, it may pan out to be nothing. Just sayin’, so you don’t get your hopes too high. And don’t forget, that other person is dead and gone.”

“Gotcha.”

“A car will be picking you up this afternoon around three. Government issue. Driver’s name is Dan. Ask for ID. Always Caroline. Never forget that piece of info. When you get his ID, call the number on it to verify. Okay?”

“Yep.”

“I’ll see you there.”

“You’re going?”

“Yeah. Or at least I’m trying.”

“Be safe.”

“Always. You too.”

********

Mom wasn’t happy at all. I called her at work to let her know I’d be gone for a few days.

Tomorrow I was supposed to have become Mrs. Justin Middleton. I dared not let myself even think of it for one tiny second, or I would lose myself to my grief. Instead of getting married, I would be in El Paso, trying to uncover links to a drug cartel. At three, there was a knock on my door and Dan presented his ID. I looked at the phone number and shut the door. I quickly called in to verify he was the real deal. When I was in the back seat and we were on the way, he said, “You’re a pretty intense girl, aren’t you?”

I shrugged and said, “Guess so.”
You have no idea.

“I never had anyone question my ID before.”

“You never picked me up before Dan.”

He nodded and said, “No, I haven’t. So where you headed today?”

“Where ever this car is taking me, Dan.”

He laughed. “Man, they’ve trained you well. You’re a cryptic one.”

“Uh huh. Do you always talk this much Dan?”

“Yeah, I think so. At least that’s what everyone says.”

“I see. So what do you do at the DEA?”

“Well, I guess I’m basically a gopher.”

I could see why. The guy could never keep his mouth shut long enough to stay alive.

“Well Dan, every agency needs good gophers. They’re important too.”

“You’re shittin’ me right?”

“Yeah Dan, I am.”

He laughed. I didn’t.

We pulled into what appeared to be a private air strip after we went through several layers of security. I knew better. It screamed government all the way around. The damn government needed to quit buying those black Tahoes or Surburbans. They were dead giveaways. They were scattered everywhere.