Shattered Hart (5 page)

She’s
talking to Dante as she shucks corn, an activity I’ve never found even remotely erotic before, but watching Brooke do it has me weak in the knees. 
Seriously
…
is th
ere nothing she can do that doesn’
t
make me wild with lust
?
  Apparently there isn’t, because
I’ve got an arsenal
of fantasies about her that lead to me fucking my fist night after night.
Now I’m going to have to add corn shucking to the
fantasy
file
.
I think she might literally be driving me crazy.

Laying the shrimp platter
on the other counter
, I step in to the kitchen, hugging
and kiss
ing
my Aunt Sandra, then S
abrina, then Dominique and
Delilah.
  I get to Brooke last, largely because I know that after I
’ve
hug
ged
her
,
I
’
m going to need to sit down in order to hide my reaction.

Tonight is even worse than usual because of the position
in which she is sitting
.
 
Stepping up
to the counter
,
I step between her legs and slide my arms around her before
pressing a kiss on her
cheek
.
  It takes less than twenty seconds, but all I can think about as I put my arms around her is that this would be a
perfec
t
position
to
pull her forward and thrust in
to her with my aching cock.

Briskly walking across the kitchen I take a seat at the table and watch as everyone continues preparing dinner.  Brooke’s scent
gently
lingers around me
,
and
I imagine I’m taking her in with each breath.  Staring at her as she finishes shucking the corn and hops down gracefully from the counter, I smile as she makes her way over to the table and sits next to me.

“Dame, the girls and I are going to Las Vegas next weekend.  It
was meant
to be a girl’s weekend, but Delilah told Spencer and now he’s
decided to co
me.
  Once Dante heard about
it he
decided he wanted in too. 
H
e’s
asked
Sabrina
along
.
 
Dante just told me to get over here and ask if
you
want to join us. 
It’s
going to be a blast.  Are
you
in?”

I nod my head in the affirmative
without even a moment’s hesitation
.  There’s
no way I’m letting Brooke go to Vegas without me. 
It
’
s
hard
enough knowing
she
i
s
at college all day with horny frat boys. 
There are far too many single men in Las Vegas for me to be comfortable not
being there to protect her
.
  I know that at some point, she’s going to wind up dating someone and I’m going to have to deal with it… but right now, I don’t think I could handle it.  Not yet.

Smiling,
she gives me a high five. 
I notice that the polish on her nails matches the polish on her toes, and I disappear in my mind for a moment imagining her han
ds wrapped around my hard dick, jerking me off.
Being touched by her would probably kill me.  I’m so turned on even thinking about it that I should be arrested for my thoughts.
Thank god she keeps talking, because otherwise I’d just sit here lost in my fantasies.

“Awesome!  Your brother being your brother, we’re not allowed to do what we were originally going to do
,
which was drive.  We’re taking the company jet u
p Friday afternoon
. 
I think around
two o’clock. 
Double check that with Dante when you get a chance.
 
He
’
s
reserved
rooms
for us and everything.  We
return to town
Sunday night.
”

Our
conversation
is cut
off as Spencer arrives. 
Walking through the kitchen he says hello to everyone before
eventually
coming to si
t at the table with Brooke and me
.

“Dude
, did
you
get my message?  We’re all going to Vegas next weekend
,
and
you
need to be there.”

I give him a smirk as I reply.  “Of course I’m going Spence.  I
didn’t
get your message yet, but Brooke just filled
me in on the plan.  Sounds like a fun time.”
 

The two of us exchange a brief look
,
and
I know that he feels the same way I do. 
Naturally
we
are
n’
t
letting the
girls go to Vegas without us. 
It
’
s
good
that we’re on the same page. 
It would create a problem if I was constantly trying to keep an eye on Brooke
and what s
he and my sisters are up to
,
if
Spencer was
pressuring
me to go out to find women.

Fortunately,
he
’
s
just as seriou
s about keeping an eye on them,
sometimes more so. 
He
’
s
hugel
y attached
to my sisters,
Delilah in particular. 
We don’t talk about it very much, but I know damn well that Spencer is in love with Delilah.  The sun rises and sets with her as far as he’s concerned.
 

Much like how I feel about Brooke, I know Spencer would never touch Delilah, so
for now… I’m
keep
ing
my mouth shut about it
.
If something ever happens between them, he’s got a conversation coming his way about fidelity and treating my baby like a princess.  Since I don’t see that happening, I don’t sweat him about it.

The three of us
spend a few minutes discussing things we can do in Vegas
before h
ead
ing
outside with
the rest of the family
to eat dinner on the back gazebo.
  We
had
n’
t
planned on eating outside tonight since
it
’s
the first week of
December and the nights are cooler, but it turned out to be the perfect night to get the fireplace going and eat outdoors.
As usual the conversation flows easily
,
and
the evening air
is
filled
with the sounds of laughter.

Sitting back, I enjoy the dynamic of us all together. 
As fucked up as my childhood was, I can never be sad about the family that I do have.  My happiest moments
are
always
with the people at this table. 

Sometimes it
overwhelms me that
,
in such a short
amount
of time
,
I’ve added Brooke and Sabrina to the list of people I consider family.
  Obviously
,
the most overwhelming part of that revolves around my feelings for Brooke. 
Every time I see or speak to her
,
I
am
pulled
to her more
.
 
Even her faults are endearing. 

To say that it’
s terrifying is an understatement.  I’ve never had any strong emotional attachment to a woman before.  My sex life
consists
of easily forgettable women who, like me,
do
n’
t
want a commitment.
I’ve always viewed sex as a highly enjoyable
and
entirely necessary
form of release
that never involves emotion
.  I instinctively know that would not be the case with
her
.
  She turns me inside out in such a way that I’d probably do something ridiculous like shed a tear if I ever got to be inside of her.

With
Brooke
, everything is different.  I look forward to talking to her
.
I crave the sound of he
r voice.
I need to be near her.  I get fucking butterflies in my stomach when I touch her.
Me, with butterfli
es! If someone had told me eight
months ago that I’d ever have butterflies over a girl, I’d have laughed in their face
at
the absurdity of that statement. 

It
’
s
a daily struggle to keep these feelings inside. 
Brooke is
so goddamn beautiful
,
and so real
, that I’
m constantly trying to regain my equilibrium
.
 
It
’
s
a real conundrum, and at this point
I
know that I’m
falling in love with Brooke
,
if I’m not there already.   I can never be with her the way I want to
,
but I
can’
t
stand
to be away
from her either
.

My thoughts come to a halt
when I feel her look across the table at me.  Before I have time to mask my reaction
,
I look up and meet her eyes. 
Just like the first night I met her, I immediately feel like all of the
oxygen has
rushed from my body.  The only difference is that this time I can see that she feels something too. 
She feels it!  She wants me too! I’m giddy at the thought.
We stay locked in that moment, the seconds passing between us in silence. 

The bubble I’m in bursts when I remember that
I
don’t
deserve someone like Brooke, and I never will. 
If I only ever do one thing in my life that is
entir
ely
honorable where a woman
is concerned
, it
will
be keeping Brooke safe from my bullshit. 
With that depressing thought
,
I shift my eyes to my Aunt Sandra and try to ignore the insistent pulse of awareness t
hat exists between Brooke and me.
 

As usual
,
dinner has been
terrific
. 
I
feel as though I heal
a bit more
each week
as
we all sit at the table as a family.
 
Each month when I go to the cemetery
to
visit
my parent
’
s
grave
, I thank them for bringing the Hart family to Sabrina and me. 

Meeting t
hem
was the turn in the road that saved us both from continued isolation, and I like to t
hink that I see
my parent’s handiwork in
the arrival of the Hart family
into the lives of Sabrina and me
.  I
want to believe that they are
still looking out for my sister
and me
,
still making sure that we have what
we need. 
There is nothing that can ever
change
how desperately I wish my parents were still here, nothing that could ever make me forget that they
were taken
from me long before they should have been. 
But
, f
or
the first time in a long time
,
I am
genuinely
looking
forward to the future and seeing things positively.