Shattered Heart (The Hart Series) (40 page)

“I’ll be back in
an hour or so.”  Alex helps me down from the counter.  “Love you.”

“I love you,” I
whimper.  He smiles a cocky smile, knowing that I hate him leaving as much as
he hates going.  Once the door is closed I glance around my disheveled living
room unsure of what pile to tackle first.

“I guess I
should finish up the box of porn,” I joke to myself, walking towards the stacks
of books I have left.

~~~~~

The ringing of
my cell phone stirs me from my sleep.  After Alex left I finished packing up my
living room and the kitchen before I needed a break.  I intended on taking a
cat nap while I waited for Alex.  What I didn’t intend was to sleep for two
hours, especially since Alex should have been back by now.

I glance at the
screen and see a picture of Alex flashing at me.  “Hi honey, what’s taking you
so long?”

“Hart.”  Alex’s
voice sounds groggy, almost strained.  I immediately sit up.  “I didn’t want
you to worry and I figured if I called instead of the hospital that…” 

The moment the
word hospital is uttered I become frantic with panic.  “Hospital?  Alex, what
happened?”  I rush to my room in search for something to wear.

“Hey, I’m fine. 
I don’t want you stressing, which is what I thought I would avoid if I called
and let you know I was okay.”

“What hospital
are you at?”

“I’m fine.  They
will probably have me out of here in the next few hours.”

“What hospital
are you at?” I repeat as I throw a sweater over my head and jump into my black
tights.

“Same one as
Nana.”

“See you in
twenty.”

“Hart, I don’t
want you out at all hours of the night, especially by yourself.”

“Well, I don’t
want you in a hospital, especially when I don’t know what’s going on,
by
yourself
,” I argue.  I can hear Alex’s resolve break as he sighs into the
phone.

“Drive safely
please.”

“Always do.  See
you soon.”  I hang up, shoving my phone into my purse.  It’s not until I’m out
the door, practically running to my car when I come to a skidding stop. 

Out from the
darkness Cole steps into the small amount of light provided by the lamp
overhead.  The hood of his sweater is drawn, covering most of his face.  The
small amount of flesh I can see is his lips, which appear to be solemn.

“Cole?” I
question as I inch back slightly holding my keys close to my side.  “What are
you doing here?”

“I needed to see
you.”  His voice is raspy, as if he’s been running.

My eyes dart to
my car which, thankfully, is close by.  “I’m sorry I can’t talk right now.”  I
try to push past him, but he moves in my way.

“What are you in
a rush for?”  It’s not the question that scares me, but more the tone of his
voice.  It sounds ominous.

“I need to get
to the hospital.”  I bob to the right hoping to move past him.  “Please move.” 

“You’ll always
be my best friend.  You know that right?  I never meant to hurt you.”  As Cole
pushes closer I can see the desolation in his eyes as his hand reaches up and
strums across the apple of my cheek.

Just as quick as
he came, he leaves and I’m left alone.  I shake my head, pushing past the
unease of his odd behavior and rush to my car.  I’ll deal with that later.  Or
maybe never.  My only concern is Alex, who’s waiting alone for me in an ER.

~~~~~

“Alexander
James.” I ask the nurse at the emergency room check-in desk.  My fingers are
nervously strumming across the counter as she searches her computer.

“You are?”

“His fiancée,” I
lie, but only because they normally only let family back.  Plus, Alex said he’d
ask me to marry him the moment he knew I’d say yes. 
I wish he would just
ask me already.

“I’ll bring you
to him.  He’s still in observation.”  I follow the nurse down the sterile
hallway past several beds surrounded in drapes.  I notice several nurses
checking vitals and administering IVs as we finally come to the end of the
hallway, which is where I discover a sleeping Alex.

He’s still in
his jeans, which I notice have splotches of blood on his shins and thighs.  His
torso is covered in a hospital gown.  Tubes running from bags of clear liquid
are running into his left hands, which is covered in surgical tape.  My lip
trembles as I push closer and dismiss the nurse with a head nod before pulling
a chair closer, taking his hand in mine.

Alex stirs when our
hands meet and his head turns to face me.  That’s when I notice a bandage over
his right eye and a cut on his bottom lip.  My mind immediately starts
conjuring different scenarios that would explain his injuries. None of them
good.

“Hart, don’t
cry.”  I lean down to kiss the top of his hand and have to maneuver around the
gauze covering his knuckles.  “This is why I didn’t want you to come.  Stress
is bad for the baby.  Besides, as you can see I’m fine.”

My eyes well up
with tears with the steady shake of my head.  “No.”  I can feel my lip tremble
as I look over his damaged body.  “No-no, you are not fine.  You’re hurt,” I
choke out, gripping his hand as tightly as I can without hurting him.

“Sweetheart,
look at me.”  I raise my head, which had been resting against his forearm and
meet his eyes.  “Am I not breathing?”  I look at the rise and fall of his chest
and nod my head.  “Am I not talking to you right now?”  I look at his beautiful
lips, and although injured they are still fully, pouty, full and begging for
attention.  “I’m still in one piece.  I can walk.  So, yes Elyssa, I’m fine.” 
His lips perk up in a tight smile as I brush away my tears with the back of my
hand.

“There is one
thing you could do to make me feel better.” 

“Anything,” I
breathe.

“I need to feel
your lips.”  Only Alex would want something like a kiss at a time like this,
but who am I to deny him.  I partially stand to lean over his body, wetting my
lips before gently giving into him.

Alex being Alex
takes the initiative and grips the back of my head, his hand fisting my hair as
he thrusts his tongue into my mouth.  The urgency of his kiss accounts for so
much more than any words he could have used to explain how okay he really is. 
The closeness we share, the amount of pain and suffering we’ve had to endure,
has been pushed aside.  One heart-bending kiss is all it took.

With my body
splayed across him, practically taking up half the bed, I swallow his moans
when I deepen the kiss.  But, when Alex winces the instant I lean against his
chest, the moment of arousal has past.  I try to pull away, but his
stubbornness refuses my retreat and even in pain, he continues to pull me
closer.

“Alex, you’re
hurt.”  I place my palms against the bed’s railing and pull away.  “We
shouldn’t.”

“Fuck the pain. 
Now that you’re here, I just want you.”  He grips my wrist trying to coerce me
closer, but I shake my head.  Instead, I lift his gown revealing his lower abdomen
wrapped in medical gauze. 

I gasp.  Now
nothing he says will make me believe that he’s really okay.  “What in the hell
happened to you?”  I’m not sure what I thought happened, but the only logical
explanation was a car accident.  He wasn’t gone long enough for anything else
to happen.  Right?

“Sit.”  Alex
points his chin at the chair.  I settle in, continuing to hold his hand.  With
his free hand, he rakes it down his face before starting.  “I went home to grab
a few things.  It was dark, but I know my way around my house, so I didn’t turn
any lights on until I got to my room.  I wasn’t there more than five minutes,
when I turned to leave.  That’s when I heard something in the kitchen.  Oh,
shit...Delores…”  Alex tries to sit up, recoiling from the pain.

I push against
his shoulders.  “Honey, you’re obviously not okay.  Please lay back down.” 

“Did they
mention if Delores is okay?”

“Delores was
there?”

Alex nods his
head.  “There was someone in the house.  I couldn’t see his face because he had
a hood on.  He was standing over her.  I tackled him.  We fought, but he must
have hit me over the head.”  Alex reaches up, rubbing against the sore spot. 
“That’s the last thing I remember.”

As each second
passes, anxiety builds in my belly.  An overwhelming feeling overtakes me as I
struggle to catch my breath.  “I’ll see if I can find anything about Delores. 
I’ll be right back.”  My fake smile doesn’t go unnoticed by Alex.  He looks at
my questioningly, but I ignore him.  I don’t like the crushing feeling I have
in the pit of my stomach and have to get out of there.

I walk down the
corridor, away from prying ears.  I find a ladies bathroom and take my phone
from my purse, dialing frantically as my fingers tremble against the screen. 
Please God, don’t let me be right.  She answers on the second ring.  That’s not
good.

“Elyssa,
darling, what can I do for you at twelve-thirty in the morning?”  Her voice is
cheery and perky considering the hour.

“Please tell me
you had nothing to do with this?”  My voice trembles, right along with the rest
of my body.

“Whatever do you
mean?”  Although her words spout denial, they are laced with deliberate
sarcasm.

“You know damn
well what I’m talking about!” I scream into the phone, clutching at my chest. 
My voice echo’s through the silent bathroom.

“You know,
sometimes the universe has a funny way of working itself out.  I told you
people would get hurt.  You are a selfish little bitch and don’t care about
anything except for what’s between your legs.”

“Why would you?”
I cry.

“Don’t put this
on me.  This is your fault.  Why don’t you take responsibility for your own
actions instead of crying at me, expecting sympathy?” she laughs.  She mother
fucking laughs.  I’m going to kill her. 

I scream in
frustration, disconnect the call and clutch my phone tightly in my hand.  I
fight the urge to chuck it across the bathroom.

She did this.  I
know she did this.  She warned me.  She told me that I needed to stay away from
him and she would let him get on with his life.  Maybe I am selfish.  But, why
is it so wrong to want my own happily ever after? 

It’s not wrong. 
I deserve love and so does Alex.  But, I’ve said it before, and now I finally
get it.  What price am I willing to pay for love?  It’s taken both Alex and
Delores getting hurt for me to see past the veil of naivety I’ve drawn over my
own eyes.  I clutch my phone against my chest and slip lower and lower against
the tiled wall. 

I cry.  I cry
for LJ and for the fact our baby will probably grow up never knowing his or her
father.  I cry for Delores, for Nana, but most of all I cry for Alex. 

Sitting here, in
the women’s restroom of a hospital I’ve come to know all too well, I openly
weep because I know what I have to do. 

Thursday, December 13, 2012

It’s well past three
o’clock in the morning before we struggle to get through my front door.  Alex’s
arm is over my shoulders, my arm around his waist, as we maneuver inside.  I
turn, slightly wary, before peering into the darkness wondering what could
possibly be waiting for us.  After a moment, I realize I’m being silly and turn
to close and lock the door.  Patiently waiting for me to finish the task, I
take Alex by the hand and lead him to my bedroom.

Before Alex got
discharged, I was able to confirm that Delores, although severely battered and
bruised, will be okay.  Apparently she bared the brunt of the injuries from the
hooded intruder.  From what the doctor explained, she was sleeping peacefully,
with the help of some heavy sedatives.  However, she is expected to make a full
recovery.  Thanks to Alex that is.  Her body wouldn’t have been able to handle
much more and Alex interrupted the assault just in time. 
Thank God for
small miracles.

In addition to
visits from the medical staff, a few police officers came to get Alex’s
statement.  When Alex asked how they knew about the break in, they stated
someone called in an anonymous tip and gave his address.  The call came from a
payphone a few blocks away.  Alex didn’t discuss this any further and I of
course didn’t bring up my suspicions.

Throughout the
very long night, I was having stomach pains off and on, but I didn’t want to
add to Alex’s stress.  Hell, I was in the hospital.  I’m smart enough that if
they were that bad, all I would need to do is step out into the hallway and
search for another doctor.  They slowly subsided after the initial shock wore
off and by that time we were on our way home.  I figured at this point, it
doesn’t matter.  In the end, he’ll hate me anyways.  The how of it all is
irrelevant.

I settle Alex on
the edge of the bed, gingerly helping him take off his blood splattered t-shirt
and jeans.  He flinches when I raised his arms to take off his shirt, but
successfully maneuver it over his head and toss it aside.

“I’ll be right
back.  I need to grab a towel and clean you up.”  Before I walk away Alex grabs
my wrist and pulls me back to him.  I’m standing between his parted thighs as
he wraps his arms around me, his head nuzzling against my chest.  I can feel
his breath through my thin sweater.  The normally intimate gesture feels all
wrong.

“What’s wrong,
Elyssa?” 

“What do you
mean?” I ask, running my fingers through his hair, careful not to touch the
stitches on the back of his head.

“You’ve been
quiet since you left me to check on Delores.  What’s going on?”

“You could have
been killed Alex,” I breathe, barely a whisper. 

He doesn’t miss
a beat, “But I wasn’t and Delores will be fine.  She’ll be out of the hospital
in a few days.  I’ll make sure I tighten up security.  Everything will be
fine,” he says confidently, tilting his head up to look at me.

He’s right. 
Everything will be fine.  But only because I’m going to do everything I can to
ensure it.  All I want is one more night with him.  That’s all I ask for.  Just
one more night.

“Let me clean you
up.”  Alex releases me, allowing me to go and get a washcloth and a bowl of
warm water.  Returning, I climb behind Alex, running the towel over his hair. 
I can feel the bump on the side of his head and can only imagine he was hit
quite hard for him to be knocked unconscious. 

I run the cloth
over his neck and back, washing away the dried remnants of blood.  Moving to
his front, I nudge Alex, settling him on his back.  I lean closer, carefully
running the cloth over his lips, forehead, and cheeks.

“It looks worse
than it is.”  His lips move against the cloth as I gently dab the cut on his
lower lip.

“Is that your
way of saying that I should see the other guy?”

“No, that’s my
way of telling you to stop freaking out.  You keep handling me like I’m a child
and that look on your face.  Stop looking at me like that.”  Alex grabs my
hips, moving me to straddle his waist.  He flinches with movement, but he’s
stubborn enough to continue. 

“You’re going to
hurt yourself.”  I look down at him, my hair falling in my face as I tilt my
head.  “How am I looking at you?” 

“You’re looking
at me as if you’re waiting to lose me.”  He’s being a little too observant
tonight.  If he only knew how true his statement was.  “I can deal with the
pain.  I just need you here with me while you do that.  Not off in some
alternate universe where we don’t make it.”

I continue to
run the cloth over his chest, down his abdomen, avoiding the wrap around his
ribs.  Thankfully they aren’t broken, just severely bruised.  When I asked the
doctor how that happened, his assumptions were from kicks from a heavy boot
based on the marks.  Alex doesn’t remember being kicked, so they both assume it
happened while he was unconscious. 

“That feels
good, Hart,” Alex moans in appreciation as his eyes flutter shut.  The rumble
from his chest goes directly to my drenched core.  It’s awful to think about
sex at a time like this, but even with bruises and cuts, Alex still puts most
men to shame.

He’s almost
completely naked in just his boxers, which means his smooth skin is just
fingertips away.  This also means there are only two thin pieces of cotton
separating us and as I run the cloth over his skin, Alex’s erection grows and
begins to push against my core.

Leaning down, I
kiss his stubbly jaw before licking his ear and working my way to his neck. 
Alex reacts, taking my hips in his hands, pulling and pushing me against him. 
He hardens fully underneath me, his erection rubbing directly against my clit
which causes me to moan.

I pull his hands
away and move carefully down his body running my tongue along the lines of his
v before pulling his boxers down, freeing his thick shaft.  Alex pulls a pillow
underneath his head, flinching, but continues to prop himself up enough to
watch me take him into my mouth.

I keep my eyes
on his as I grip his shaft, moving up and down slowly as I suck and lick his
tip.  “Fuck,” he breathes.  “Take off your clothes.  I need you stripped bare. 
Now.”  He groans as his hands fist the sheet underneath him.

Thoroughly
watching me, I lift my sweater from my body to reveal my naked breasts before
taking him back in my mouth.

“Fuck me. 
You’ve been running around the hospital with no bra on.  I bet you don’t have
any underwear on either.”

I look up at
Alex through my lashes as I move faster up and down.  He knows the answer by
the look in my eye. 

“Show me.”  I
lift, pulling my tights down and kicking them to the side.  Just as Alex
predicted…no underwear.  “God, Hart you’re fucking perfect.  You’re all I need
to feel better.”  His lips lift in a dimpled smirk.

I move to take
him back into my mouth, but Alex pulls me up his body so I’m straddling him
again. 

“Alex I’m going
to hurt you like this.”  I rest my hands against his biceps, my eyes running
over his ribs, his knuckles, his brow; all bandaged. 

“No, you won’t. 
Just go slow.”  Needing him just as much as he needs me, I do as I’m told.  I
grip his shaft placing him at my entrance and lower myself slowly until he’s
deep inside me.

I ride him slow,
bending to devour his mouth.  If the cut on his lip hurts, Alex doesn’t
complain as he nips at my lips and tangles his tongue with mine.  My body moves
back and forth at a steady tempo, my nipples grazing his face and lips with
each movement.

Alex pinches my
aching buds.  The shock of pain adds fuel to the fire and I fight the urge to
move faster.  I want to devour him.  “Alex,” I moan, “If you want me to take
this slow, you need to stop that.”

 He takes hold
of my hips, lifting and slamming me down over and over again.  I tried to be careful
with him, but he has no sense of self preservation.  If he wants it so badly,
who am I to deprive him.  I lose all control and begin to grind against him,
intensely.  Rising and falling harder and harder.

“I love you,”
Alex whispers against my lips.  If it wasn’t for the overwhelming sensation
taking over my body I’d sob at those words.  Not because I doubt him or because
I don’t feel the same.  But because I’d give every inch of my soul to be with
him if I knew no danger would come.  If I knew those I love would be safe.

 My back arches
and my head tilts back as an orgasm jolts my body.  Alex is relentless.   If he
was feeling one hundred percent, he’d have me on my back, slamming into me. 
Instead he’s gripping my thigh with one hand while his other is running down
the front of my belly.  Finally finding my spot, Alex applies pressure rubbing
vigorously.

I moan as he
pulls me down, our chests together as he buries his face in the crook of my
neck.  I clench around him as he finds his own release, my second one not far
behind.  “I love you, Alex.  I always will.” 

I lay on top of
him until our breathing evens out.  It’s not until several minutes pass that I
look up at his face.  I can tell he’s holding in the discomfort of my weight on
his injuries.

“Oh my God, I’m
so sorry.”  I sit up, pulling him out of me as I move to the side.  I wave my
hands over his body anxiously.  “I know I hurt you.  Please, Alex, what can I
do?”

“I’d take all
the pain in the world if I could live buried inside you.”  I nestle my head
into his shoulder, his arm wraps around me pulling me to his side.  His fingers
strum up and down my spine as he sings me a lullaby.  I know what I have to do
and it’s not going to be easy.  Especially now.  When I seemingly have it all. 
It’s moments like these that I’ll miss the most.  Not the sex, but the bliss
afterwards.

“I love you. 
You know that right?” I murmur against his chest before placing a kiss against
his smooth skin.

“I know.”  His
fingers continue their lazy perusal.

“Always
remember, I love you.  No matter what.”

Alex turns his
head to me, speaking softly against my lips, “No matter what.  Now go to sleep,
my Hart.”

I settle in, my
leg lifting to drape over his as he rests a hand on my belly.  It’s then that I
hide my tears.  I close my eyes tightly, afraid Alex will notice.  But, sleep
takes over as I feel the rise and fall of his chest. 

~~~~~

A
LEX…

My body aches,
but that’s not what stirs me from my sleep.  I turn, looking at the clock on
the side table that reads six in the morning.  I’m irritatingly alone in her
pastel blue sheets that she loves so much.  Out of the corner of my eye I see
my Hart, the mother of my unborn child, sitting next to the window, chin
resting on her bare knee.  Watching her, I’m filled with some emotion I’ve
never experienced.  It’s more than love.  Pride maybe?  I don’t know, but what
she’s given me is more than I ever expected.  More than I ever thought I
deserved.  But with her, she has shown me I am worth it.  I know it may sound a
little girly, but it’s overwhelming. 

She’s beautiful
of course, but when I finally get my head out of the clouds and back down on
Earth, I realize quickly there’s something troubling about this scene.  Her
eyes are red, swollen, but it’s the trembling of her lips that jolts me from my
groggy state.  My eyes flutter shut as pain radiates throughout my ribs, into
my chest.  My head is throbbing and my hands ache, but I could care less about
any of that.  I’ve been through much worse. 

No, sometimes
there are far worse things than physical pain.  I’ve felt it a numerous times
in the past few weeks, and I’m feeling it right now.  I know she can see me
pulling myself from bed, yet she doesn’t look my way.  Instead, her eyes fixate
on the window seemingly watching the rain outside. 

I stumble towards
her, but instead of accepting me into an embrace, she holds one hand up to her
face covering her tears.  Her other hand urging me not to come any farther.

“You’re
crying…” 

“I can’t do
this.  I thought I could, but…”  Her words are interrupted by the sound of
agony coming from her sweet lips.

“What changed
since last night?”  I try to move closer, but with each step, she seems to push
farther and farther away.

“I’m not going
to do this to you.”

“You’re not
doing anything to me.  It was just a bad night.  We’ll have our ups and downs,
but we can handle them.”

“You deserve to
know the truth.”  She bows her head, staring at the floor.  I urge her to look
at me.  To give me some sort of sign that she’s still in this with me.  I feel
like I’m losing her, but not sure what to. 

“Truth?  What
are you talking about?”  I wait.  Hoping, no praying, that she’s just freaked
after last night.  I should have known that she wouldn’t handle traumatic
events well.  After losing her parents it’s bound to bring up dormant feelings.

She’s clutching
her eyes shut as she shakes her head.  I can see her hands trembling as she
wraps her arms tighter around her legs.  “Hart…I promise.  I won’t let anything
happen to you or the baby.”