Shattered Perfection (16 page)

“Thanks, that’s very sweet of you, Laur.  Do you think you and Pete will be able to make it out here for our reception slash frat party?”

“I’ll be there no matter what, but Pete is still trying to get the time off to go.  Whose bright idea was it to throw you a kegger to celebrate your wedding?  Vance’s?  How is your mother taking that?”

“No, it wasn’t Vance,” I laughed, “Although he’s not overly upset by the idea.  It’s the brainchild of his group of friends.  You’ll meet them and it will all make sense.  I decided it was easier to just go with the flow.  Our little ceremony in Vegas was enough for me.  My mom, well… she’s resigned to the idea.  She’s just happy that I’m happy.”

“Well that works for me, too.  At least this way I don’t have to put on some ugly dress that I’ll never wear again.”

“That can still be arranged, you know,” I warned teasingly.

We joked around for a few more minutes before ending the call and logging out.  It was hard to believe it had only been a few short months since I had visited her in New York, so much had happened since then.  This time, I’d be seeing her as Mimi Ashcroft.

Our “reception” ended up being fantastic.  Everyone was relaxed and happy, there was no pressure that people feel on “The Big Day” so we were free to just be in love and share our happiness with our friends.  My mom did insist on a formal wedding cake and a photographer, and later I was grateful for her foresight.  She and Vance’s mom, although both unhappy with us at first for leaving them out of such a special occasion, were more than happy to make each other’s acquaintance.  We had introduced them at a private lunch with just the four of us and they hit it off immediately.  At the party, they spent most of it together walking around laughing at everyone’s antics and taking random snapshots, presumably for blackmail material later.

I was pleased that Laurel and Pete were both able to make it to the party and we spent some time talking and laughing with them, reminiscing about Vance’s time in the security offices at Caesar’s.

My coworkers and good friends from the firm, Grace, Liz and Jessica came to the party too.  While I wasn’t as close to them as I was to Laurel, they were my best girlfriends in Los Angeles, and prior to meeting Vance, I had spent a lot of my free time with them. Vance and I had been so wrapped up in each other since our respective returns from New York, they hadn’t even met him yet.  Unfortunately, there was so much going on, other than a brief introduction and a few hugs and cheek kisses and promises to get together soon, I didn’t see much of them that evening.  I did notice, however, that they somehow found Griffin, Bryant and Justin and had them cornered at one point.

The music poured from the speakers all night long and the alcohol flowed freely.  There was plenty of finger food, people danced and fortunately, despite the college-party vibe to the occasion, everyone kept their clothes on and there were no embarrassing incidents.  The party wound down around three in the morning and we all called it a success.

We spent the next year in a state of newlywed bliss.  We both did well at our jobs, though Vance continued to work long hours.  We spent our weekends either with our friends out on the town—interestingly, Grace and Bryant, Liz and Griffin and Jessica and Justin began dating after the reception party—redecorating Vance’s home to reflect our new blended life or occasionally taking time for a romantic getaway.  Our lives were simple and uncomplicated.  We were young and in love and had everything we needed in each other.

The only thing marring our happiness, at least from my perspective, was Vance’s continued headaches.  He didn’t have them all the time, maybe once a month, maybe less frequently, but when he did have them, they were debilitating.  He missed work on a couple of occasions because they were so bad.  I spoke with a coworker of mine who took medication for migraines, and she told me that she had them somewhat regularly, too.  She didn’t have them quite as often as Vance did, but she assured me they were not serious and I had nothing to worry about.  Some people just got them.  Whenever I tried to talk to Vance about my concerns, he was touched, but he firmly reminded that he had already received medical attention and there was no need for me to worry.  Finally, I just came to accept it as normal and life went on.  I had never been happier in my entire life.

The weekend of our first anniversary coincided with a fund-raiser for a charity supported heavily by Vance’s law firm.  We had initially planned to take a long romantic weekend at a bed and breakfast in Carmel, but since this event was in support of breast cancer research, a cause that was dear to one of the partners of his firm who had lost his wife to the disease several years ago, Vance didn’t feel comfortable skipping out on it.  So, the night before our anniversary, we were in our bedroom, preparing to attend a formal gala when the two of us would much rather be secluded in a hotel room feeding each other oysters from a room service delivery cart.

Something about Vance had seemed “off” all day, but I couldn’t quite figure out what.  I’d asked him if something was wrong at various times, but he just brushed me off, even seeming annoyed by the question.  I chalked it up to me being a little too mother hen-ish, but it bothered me because Vance was never short tempered with me.  In fact, I’d never seen him be short tempered with anyone.  I ultimately shrugged it off, figuring I’d only make matters worse if I continued to nag him about it.

After putting my earrings in, I turned to Vance to see if he was ready to leave.  As he fastened his last cufflink, he looked at me expectantly, as if waiting for me to say something.

“I was only wondering if you were ready to go.”  I said hesitantly, unsure of his mood.

He nodded, grabbing his wallet and putting it in his inside breast pocket.  “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”  He extended his arm toward the door, indicating I should exit before him.

My indigo gown made a swishing noise as I walked down the hall ahead of him.  It was a very pretty dress, strapless with a wrapped bodice and full skirt.  It was my usual simple taste, nothing elaborate or flashy, just understated and elegant.  My hair was rolled tight in a twist at the back of my head, with wisps falling down in the front framing my face.  I wore tiny pearl earrings and a matching necklace.  My only other jewelry were my wedding rings.  Normally Vance would have made several comments about my appearance, but he hadn’t said a single word.  In fact, he hadn’t said much of anything at all.

When we walked out to the car, Vance went straight around to his side, got in and started it up.  I didn’t want to be a spoiled brat or anything, I was more than capable of opening my own door, it was just that he was acting so out of character, I stood there for a moment staring blankly into space.  The window on my side of the car rolled down, and Vance leaned over the seat to look at me. 

“Are you going to get in, or are we going to sit in the driveway all night?”  He asked sarcastically.

I blinked a couple times, but nodded in response before opening the door and climbing inside.  I adjusted my skirt, shut the door quietly and fastened my seat belt.  I remained quiet all the way to the gala venue.  For his part, Vance didn’t say a word, either.

Once we arrived, I put on my happy face, made pleasant small talk with his superiors at the firm, and did my best to be the charming wife.  Vance was more communicative than he had been, but still remained somewhat aloof.  I tried to make up for his stand-offishness by being even more gregarious with anyone who crossed our path.

Blessedly, dinner was eventually served, giving us a reprieve from socializing.  My stomach was a mess of nerves from all the uneasiness I was feeling over Vance’s uncharacteristic behavior, so I just pushed my food around my plate.  A glance in his direction revealed him doing the same, although he was taking healthy gulps of the scotch he had gotten from the bar before we sat down.  Halfway through the meal, he excused himself and was gone a long while.  I had assumed he went to the restroom, or to make a call.  He eventually returned with another scotch.  By the smell of him, he’d had at least one other while he was away.

After dinner was cleared and dessert was served, some of the tables were moved away and the floor was opened for dancing.  A lively band was playing all different genres of music.  I enjoyed watching the couples turn and twist around the floor, and it brought to mind the night in Atlantic City when Vance and I danced salsa at the little club on the boardwalk.  I turned to him to remind him of the fun we had, only to see him glowering at me as if I had done something wrong.

“Vance?”  I started.  “What is it, sweetheart?”

“Nothing.”  He said, taking the last gulp of his drink.  “Are you ready to get out of here?”

“I… I was just thinking it might be nice to have a dance.  Wouldn’t you like to dance at least once before we go?  I mean, we’re all dressed up and everything.  It’s not every day I get you into a tux.”  I smiled weakly at him.

“No, I would not like to fucking dance.  I would like to get the hell out of here.”  He stood and walked to my chair.  Thinking he was going to help me up, I put out my hand, but he reached into his pocket, pulled out his keys and dropped them into my extended palm.

“You’re going to have to drive.  I had too much scotch.”  He said, before turning his back and walking toward the door.

The ride home was as silent as the ride there, although waves of hostility poured off of Vance.  I spent the time trying to figure out what had gotten into him.  I ran through the evening in my head over and over again, but nothing seemed out of place.  I would have written it off to a bad drunk, but one, even though Vance wasn’t safe enough to drive, he didn’t seem all that intoxicated.  Two, he had been in some kind of mood before he ever got near the scotch.

Once we arrived home, I went straight to the bedroom to change out of my dress.  I was so anxious, I was ready to jump out of my skin.  I was out of sorts, unsure what to make of his behavior, didn’t know what I should do.  Talking to him was out of the question.  It was clear he could barely tolerate my presence.  With that thought, I looked at the clock on the bedside table.  It wasn’t even nine yet.  I put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and decided to just go for a drive.  I couldn’t take another minute of the tension and he most definitely didn’t want me around, so the best thing to do was to take a little time out. 

After I’d brushed out my hair, I grabbed my phone and keys and left the house on silent feet.  I didn’t know where Vance had disappeared to, but he was somewhere in the house since his Mercedes was still parked in the driveway.  I hopped into my Lexus and backed slowly out of the driveway, without turning on my headlights.  I don’t know why I felt like I needed to sneak away, but I didn’t want to attract any more attention to myself than I already had that night.  Once in the street, I turned the lights on, but still accelerated slowly away.

I drove around for a while, unsure of where to go or what to do, until finally deciding to head to a quiet little bar I’d been to with Vance and his friends a few times.  A quiet and comfortable hole-in-the wall sort of place where I knew no one would bother me.

I entered the dimly lit room and went straight to the bar.  I ordered my favorite dirty martini and took it to a booth near the center of the room.  I just sat there, sipping my drink, unable to think of anything but Vance’s odd behavior.  No matter how I looked at it, there was no explanation for it.  It seemed like everything irritated him, but as if I bothered him most of all.  I couldn’t think of what I had done to piss him off, and honestly, my feelings were more than a little hurt.  I thought I should be angry back at him for being such a dick, but I couldn’t get past the fact that our anniversary was the next day.  Maybe being in love had made me overly sentimental, but all I could think was we should be making love and congratulating ourselves for being so happy together.  Instead, here I was in some shithole nursing a drink by myself.

While I sat there lost in thought, I didn’t notice that a presence was looming over me, taking in my distracted state.  It was a good thing that this person knew me and meant me no harm, because I was so completely unaware that I nearly jumped three feet when Justin sat down across from me with a beer in his hand.

“Hello there, Peaches.”  He said, taking a deep drink from his bottle of Bud.  “Why on earth are you in a place like this alone?  Where is your other half?”

“Jesus Christ, Justin!  You scared the fuck out of me.”  I cried out, clutching my chest.  “Don’t you know better than to sneak up on a girl like that, unless you want to get maced?”

“If you have mace in that purse, it wouldn’t have done you much good tonight as out of it as you were.  I would have had you down the street before you even thought of trying to get to it.”  He observed.  “What’s going on?  You don’t look so good.”

I sighed unhappily.  “It’s just been a weird night.  Well, the whole day has been weird really.”

“What’s weird is seeing you without Vance attached to your hip.  I’m assuming this has something to do with him.”

I nodded.  “Yeah.  He has been acting strange all day long.  Very distant, irritated.  We went to this charity function tonight, and he was practically hostile towards me.  I don’t get it.  I don’t understand what I did to upset him.  Whenever I asked what was bothering him, he denied anything was wrong, but he seemed annoyed that I was even asking.  I’ve been running the day through my head, trying to think of something—anything—that could have set him off, but there’s nothing.”

Justin considered what I said.  “That’s pretty unusual for Vance.  He’s the most even tempered person I’ve ever met.  Everyone has their bad days, though.  Maybe he just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“I know.  I mean I haven’t known him as long as you guys, obviously, but I do live with the guy, and he’s never acted like this before.

“Tomorrow is our anniversary.  I’ve been looking forward to it so much.  Our trip away already had to be cancelled, so I would hate for it to be spoiled further by something like this.  Maybe it’s silly to be sentimental, but it’s kind of important to me.”

“It’s not silly to celebrate your anniversary.  It should be a happy occasion.  I hope he gets over whatever is up his ass and doesn’t let you down.  If it helps you feel any better, I know him, and I know how he feels about you, so I just don’t see that happening,” he said sincerely.

I smiled gratefully.  “Thanks, Justin.  I have to admit, I don’t have a lot of experience in this area.”

“What do you mean?”  He looked at me with a confused expression.

“You may find this pretty funny, but Vance was my first real boyfriend.  I mean, I dated a lot; I wasn’t a virgin or anything when I met him.  I just never really got into a serious relationship with anyone.  I certainly never fell in love.  The guys I saw were just nice men whose company I enjoyed.  Some I liked better than others, some I was even infatuated with for a little while, but nobody lasted longer than a month and that was just fine with me.  I enjoyed being single and unencumbered, free to meet new people and do whatever I wanted to do when I wanted to do it.  Then I met Vance and he changed all that for me.  Suddenly, nothing made sense without him.”

Justin looked at me in surprise.  “How old are you again?” he asked.

“I just turned twenty five last month.”  I said.             

“I suppose that’s not too young to never have been in love, but most people have thought they were by that age and have had at least one serious relationship.”

“I know.  It puts me at a little bit of a disadvantage, because I’m pretty much feeling my way through this, and I’m married.  There’s a little more on the line.  It’s not like I can just throw up my hands if it’s not working and consider it one of life’s experiences and walk away.  Not that I’m thinking about that now, or have ever thought about it before.  Things so far have been surprisingly easy.  Vance is remarkably easy to please, so much so I feel like I hit the jackpot with him.  I’m spoiled by him, I admit it.  I guess that’s the problem tonight.  I’ve had it too easy and I don’t have the skills to know how to deal with what happened today.  So here I am trying to figure it out.  I’d be home talking about it with him, but it was really obvious I was the last person he wanted near him.  I felt it was best I give him some breathing room, and go somewhere to think, myself.”

“You probably made the right decision.  I wish I could give you some advice on how to deal with this, but like I said, I’ve never seen or heard of Vance acting this way before.  It’s very interesting to say the least.  However, if he keeps acting this way, hurting your feelings and all, and you want me to have a talk with him, I’d be more than happy to tell him to pull his head out of his ass for you,” he offered.  “You’re my friend now, too.  I look out for my friends.”

I smiled gratefully.  “Vance told me that about you.”

Justin took a long sip of his beer.  “He knows me well.”

“There’s something special between the two of you, isn’t there?  I sensed it when you spoke to me that first night at Griffin’s house when you grilled me to see if I was good enough for Vance. You know, the night before we got married.  Huh…”  I stopped and thought for a second.  “I guess that was a year ago tonight.”

He thought for a moment, too.  “You’re right.  Anyway, aside from Vance and I going way back, I owe Vance a lot.  It may be hard to believe, but when we were just kids, Vance was my protector.”

“You?”  I gave his big, muscled frame an obvious once-over.  “You’re right, I find it very hard to believe.”

“Yep.”  He motioned to himself with his hand.  “I was not always the proud owner of this fine, Zeus-like physique.’  He smirked.   “I was actually a scrawny kid, shorter than everyone else.  Didn’t hit my growth spurt until the end of high school.  Vance caught a bunch of kids circling me and threatening me one day in elementary school and chased them all off.  He befriended me and pretty much kept everyone off me until I was able to hold my own.  He was the one who got me into working out and building myself up.  Once my hormones finally kicked in, it became surprisingly easy to pack on the muscle and I got a lot bigger than everyone else but by then, everyone already knew not to mess with me because Vance would be there to take care of it.  He may be a laid back guy, but if he does get mad, he’s pretty scary.  Fortunately, I’ve only ever seen him get that way when something he cares deeply about is threatened.”