Shattered Skies: Beginning's End (29 page)

“I have to go now Akia. I am sorry, but I am not coming back. I would have never made it in your world anyway.” It was a lot easier to talk in my head than it was out loud.

“Where are you? Catalina, I demand you
answer me.” He was scared and there was nothing that I could do to take his fear away. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I wasn’t going to answer him. There was no saving me now. It was too late. The second that he saw me like this he would know I was a human. He would have to kill me himself and I was not putting him through that. 

“Thank you for showing me how beautiful I was to you. Goodbye Akia. I am sorry that I hurt you.” 

I was done. Everything was taken care of. I had set everything right the best way that I knew how. I hoped in time that they would all forgive me. It would take a while, and that was OK, but I was sure there would be a day when Darien would forgive me for leaving him. He was a smart man and one day he would understand that I had done what I had been trained to do; I had protected my family. With the last breath that I took, I felt the string between my mind and Akia’s mind break, and then there was nothing.

I woke up lying in a huge empty room and I couldn’t comprehend. Everything was so quiet that it didn’t seem real. For a second, I thought I was dead. I was a little disappointed too. I had died and no one that knew me had come to meet me. Instead, they had left me here alone in this empty, lonely room. Well, it could have been a lot worse; being dead didn’t seem so bad yet. A little lonely maybe, but I could deal with that. Well, there was no reason to lay here and pout about being alone. I liked to explore and there was no better time than now to get started, I was sure whatever was outside of this room had to be a lot more exciting than the plain white walls around me.

     I tried to sit up. I was tired of lying down. I moved my head from side to side. I needed to get up but there was too much pain. I couldn’t be dead. You don’t hurt when you are dead, at least I didn’t think that you did. I really hoped that pain didn’t exist in death. If it did, I was going to be really pissed off. 

“Cat you are awake.” It was barely a whisper, but I knew that voice. It was the voice of the scared little boy that used to crawl in bed with me or
I with him every time one of us had a nightmare. It was the voice that used to promise me that everything was all right; the same voice that told me over and over again that I would never have to worry about being alone as long as he was alive. 

When I didn’t answer right away, Darien grabbed my hand, and the moment I saw him smile down at me, I knew it was OK to close my eyes; it was OK to rest. I wasn’t dead; in fact, nothing was going to hurt me, at least not tonight; Darien was here. I was right where I was supposed to be, laying there with him to watch over me. I let the warmth take me again, and willingly slipped back into darkness.

When I woke up the second time they were all there; Jaden with his proud face and never fading smile, Darien with the love that no matter how hard he tried to bury it, poured out to me like the morning sun. The one standing furthest away was someone that I barely recognized. Dr. Walker was so young! He was strong, unwavering and vigorous. He stood in the corner, afraid to get too close to me.

“I am OK Doc; I know you are not going to hurt me.” 

With that he came closer. There was that look again, the one that said I was his savior. I had to smile a little when I remembered how I had earned that look. No matter how young or different he looked, he was still the man that raised me and that had taken care of me. I was sure of that as soon as he lightly patted my head. 

“Catalina, I hope one day you can see yourself the way that the three of us do. You unselfishly threw away your life to save ours. I will be eternally grateful to you.”

I guess I will never know what really happened inside of Akia’s palace that night. I know what I was told but with everything that was happening, how could anyone have been sure
of what they saw? Apparently Jaden had a change of heart once he had gotten Dr. Walker and Darien to safety; he turned around to come back and get me. Yes, I have kicked his ass for that. Going back into that building was suicidal. He told me that when he got half way through the window he was nearly blinded by a bright purple light. When the light faded and he could see again, he saw me lying there dying and piles of ashes all around me. Jaden’s quick thinking had saved my life. He got me out of the building and ran back and faked a pile of ashes for me. Akia would have no reason to think that I had lived through whatever had happened down there. 

Drake had lived and told
Akia that I had been there, so when Akia saw the ashes, mixed with the fact that his scratches probably bled like before, I am sure he concluded I was gone. As much as it bothered me to know that I put him through my death again, I was glad that my family got a head start and escaped. 

Akia was the King of the planet. Something better than me would come along for him. There was no reason for me to believe that he would spend the rest of eternity thinking about me. The most important thing for me to do was to keep the ring on. It wouldn’t do any good if he sensed that I was alive, not that I thoug
ht he could from this far away anyway.

We have a new home now; I don’t remember the journey. I went to sleep in California and woke up in South Carolina; how convenient is that? One day, when I think I can handle it, I will ask how we got here. I have to admit the new place is better than the old one. Dr. Walker’s knowledge and connections never cease to surprise me. Our new home is an old abandoned military bunker that the Vampires don’t know about. The bunker housed a warfare testing facility where Dr. Walker used to work. Not only are we safe, but with the technology that is currently available to us, the sky is the limit. There are machines and weapons sharing our home with us now that I would never be able to figure out in a million years. Even though we lost everyone that mattered to us but each other, we have never been stronger. The fact that we have access to weapons and vehicles that I never knew existed is mind blowing. 

I don't know what my future might bring, but then that is nothing new. I live everyday with the fear of being captured always
lurking somewhere in the back of my mind. My fear is lessened by the new found youth and strength that Dr. Walker, well, Walker as he as ordered us to call him, now brings to our little group. It is amazing how much more useful he is to the cause now that he is drinking human blood again.  Not only does he have the brains but he also has the body and the strength that will help us if we are ever backed into a corner again. He loves his new found freedom. Even though we are still lying low, there has never been a time when he could roam freely. Since he no longer has to worry about ever being seen in public because of how old he looks, he comes and goes as he pleases. 

Deciding that his strength is one of the most important things to our safety right now, the three of us take our turns feeding him. I hate to admit it, but it is kind of funny that we have all spent our lives trying to avoid being food, and now the ma
n who saved us from that horror feeds from us daily. I could never complain about sharing my blood with him. It took me a while to forgive him, but he is still my father, no matter what species he is. He is the man who risked his life to give us ours. I just hope that there are no other secrets up his sleeve. I don’t know that I can handle any more surprises. I have to be honest; it is kind of nice to have him back even if it is the cocky self-assured version he puts forth. 

There are just the four of us now. I know in my heart that there are more like us out there and I think that we need to do whatever we can to find them and reform our rogue society. What I don’t know is how easy the four of us are going to be able to work together and move forward. I don’t know that I personally will ever be able to trust Walker again, or anyone else for that matter.   Trust isn’t something that comes along often, and now that the security blanket that the Doctor used to provide for me has been shattered completely, I’m not sure if I will ever stop looking over my shoulder and into the shadows. 

It is hard enough trying to learn how to survive when you are the prey. Now that my world has been redefined and I have been forced to look at everything and everyone in my life in a whole new light, it was going to be nearly impossible to ever let my guard down again.

If trust issues are the biggest problem that I
’ve walked away with living in my world, where some of the monsters want to save you, most want to kill you, and others want nothing more than to have the chance to love you, than I suppose I have nothing to complain about.  Out of everything it is the rearranging of my morals that has gotten to me more than anything else. The once bold black and white line of good and bad is now a blurry grey. This new shade of grey scares me more than anything.  How do you begin to live again when you don’t really know who the bad guys are, when you are not sure who it is that you need to protect yourself from? 

Akia mourned me like I never imagined possible. I felt it; the part of it that
reflected from him and enveloped me through the connection that I tried so hard to sever. I cried with him and I raged with him over losing me. I did it all while I peacefully slept. It wasn’t until I woke up that the effect of it truly hit me. I felt that I had lost myself. It took me a while to realize that I was still alive. I know that doesn’t make any sense. I lived through my death alone. I knew that there was nothing that I could say to make the guys understand what I was feeling. I suffered along with Akia when it came to our moments; sharing the heartache would have just made my relationship with Darien harder to fix. It was OK after a while because I realized it was saying goodbye that was what both Akia and I needed, and sharing that tender truth with the others would have somehow taken something away from our story.

Akia
is always there somewhere in the back of my mind; I can feel him. As unnerving as it is and as careful as I have to be, his presence still comforts me. I know that he is just a ring slip away and I would be lying if I said it wasn’t tempting to slip away to him. It wouldn’t be fair to me, my family, or even to him to do so though. He has made his peace with the fact that I am gone, even though I can feel a part of him doesn’t believe it. It is that piece that I worry most about. When the monsters were feeding off me, I was as close to death as I have ever been and nearing death left a bad taste in my mouth. I cannot put myself or the three people that I have in my life at risk anymore for what my foolish heart wants. I have decided to forget him. He thinks I am dead so I will make myself dead; it sounds easy enough. 

I had one dream about him;
I saw him looking to the heavens and swearing that he will find me no matter what it takes. I am so afraid that one day I will feel that hopeful piece of his heart convince the rest of him that I am still very much alive. If I ever feel that, I guess I will have to eliminate the risk myself. Even though I know that I will never be his, the thought of him not being here, and even worse, the thought that he watched me die, weighs heavily on my heart.

  As far as Darien is concerned, half the time he is the sweet, funny and caring guy that I grew up with; the guy that would give me the clothes off his back just to see me smile. The other half of the time, he walks around just a mere shadow of
his former self. I never know which Darien I’m going to get. I can't seem to say what he needs to hear from me. I love him; I just don't know one hundred percent what kind of love I have for him yet. I have to decide if I love him because I should love him, or if I love him because I am in love with him. I don’t know how to figure that out. I am not even sure if Darien knows what he wants. I hope that he doesn’t want me because he sees me as a prize now; but only time will tell. He and Jaden keep me out of most missions these days. They work alone and for the most part they’re convinced that I am a bigger threat than a help. I am smart enough to know that I deserve it. Someday their trust will be mine again. I am willing to wait for that day.

  I don't know if any of us will ever be able to return to the state of mind that we were in before our lives changed. To be honest, I don't know if I want to go back to our former lives. At least now it is hurt that I am feeling where before I felt only numb. None of us knows what the future holds.  All I do know is that I am ready to move forward and face it head on; I look forward to the challenge of learning about myself. I hope that I can live and let go of the past; as for letting go of the men in my life, I am not
so sure.