Shattered Skies - Night Waves (12 page)

“Well Cat, we have one night left on earth. How do you want to spend it?” Jace said in his most upbeat voice. I found his flirting funny, I actually felt my lips twitch into a grin. “That a girl, I’m not going to let both of us sit here and feel sorry for ourselves. Sure we die tomorrow but so what? I was dead the moment I was born into the food class anyway; you on the other hand got to do more living than most. That makes you my hero. Let’s face it, no one gets to spend time with their heroes, and I’ve had mine all to myself for the last few days.” I was blushing. I could feel it.

“OK, I get it, you like me,” and with that we both laughed and our laughter set the tone for the rest of the day.

There was no need to spend any more time making harebrained schemes to get away because that wasn’t going to happen. Instead, we held hands, we cuddled, and we talked. He told me what life was like in a cage and I told him what life was like underground. I was so interested in learning about him and him about me, that we talked for hours about everything and nothing at all. Time moved quickly as we confessed our sins and our dirtiest secrets. I guess the promise of death does that to you. The thought of dying makes you want to wipe your slate clean. 

The more I learned about Jace, the more I realized that I’d misjudged him. I thought he was so light so carefree, so when the conversation went from childish confessions like crushes and stealing to murder, it took me a second to recover my composure.

“Cat, there is something that I have to say out loud. I just have to get it off my chest, OK?” The look on his face was haunted.  Part of me didn’t want to hear what he was going to say next. I had been enjoying his innocence but now an ominous feeling descended down over me, smothering me and suddenly his innocence vanished. Damn it!

“Jace, you can tell me anything, no judgments here.” He sat looking at me for a minute. I could see the uncertainty in his eyes. Whatever he was going to say next, he really believed that it would be bad enough to disgust me. I thought maybe I should brace myself for the worst, move away from him or change my position, but the look on his face made it impossible for me to do anything but sit there and breathe and wait.

“I killed all of them,” he said softly. He wasn’t looking at me anymore. He was looking right through me. He was seeing something that no one else could see but him. I sat and I waited for him to continue. “I was one of the lucky ones. The Vampires that were in charge of our town didn’t rip families apart; instead, they let parents keep their children. I was never sure why. I guess it was a controlled experiment like everything else they did.  I don’t remember the invasion; I remember growing up in fear though, knowing that at any time they could take us away from each other. Most of the families never bonded. It was a lonely, cold, friendless tactic and it was probably for the best, but my parents were different. They wanted us to know we were loved. We grew up happy; scared but happy.” 

Jace paused and studied his hands, averting my eyes. “Then the day came when we found out why they let the
town’s families live as families. We were destined to become an event, a horrid amusement, a demeaning game for the Vampires. Six families where chosen to square off to the death. We were forced to face the awful reality of having to kill our family members, until only one person from each family remained. The six people that won, the ones that had killed their families and survived? Well, they would then have the honor of being personal slaves to the royal lines. The thought of being a personal slave to the royals scared me to death. I had heard my share of stories about what happens to personal slaves.”

I wanted to tell him to stop; I wanted to beg him not to think about it anymore. I wanted to tell him to forget about it, to look at me and never ever again allow his mind to see what happened next, but I couldn’t. I needed to hear him say it. I needed to see if what I was thinking was what happened. I guess also, the sadistic part of me wanted to know that he was a monster
just as bad as or worse than me. He was so lost and intent on telling his story that I didn’t think I could bring him back from telling it even if I had wanted to. His memories had hold of him and he couldn’t let them go.

“The Vampires didn’t even have the balls to make the decision themselves. The town was forced to vote, forced to vote for the families that they would like to see tortured in this way. Of course, we were a target. Everyone was jealous of the relationships we had within my family, they were envious of the bond and the love that our home managed to
build and share and they wanted to see it ruined. We got the highest vote count, Cat. The feeling of being abandoned and shunned by the rest of town and knowing what was to come completely destroyed my mother. She slipped away instantly into some kind of delusion. She was there Cat but she was gone. I never heard my mother’s voice after that day, she didn’t respond to anything, not even my father’s touch.

One by one, all the families in town were called to the center square. I remember looking around at the other people, at the other
families
that had been chosen to go through the same horror as us and I remember envying them Cat. They were nothing more than complete strangers sharing the same space with each other. I hated my parents at that moment.  I cursed them Cat. What the fuck had they been thinking? Their decision to keep us close now made us weak. It made everything so much harder. I was in deep thought when I heard my father’s righteous protest rise up and silence the crowd.

“I will not stand for this. I will not allow you to use my family for sport, take me and let them go.”  He was a proud man and his voice never once quavered and he never once flinched, not even when he heard the words the Vampire in charge said to him.
 

   “Well, well, it seems we have our first hero. Are you telling me rodent that you are begging to take yourself out of the games and sign your life away to save your family?” My father didn’t even hesitate to step forward.

  
“That is exactly what I am saying.” I remember thinking that my father’s willingness to sacrifice himself might just save us. I felt my body release a breath. Everything was going to be OK. I was going to lose my father but it would be a heroic loss and I was proud of him for saving us all.

  
“Stupid human!” The Vampire in charge spit out the words. “Do you really think it is going to be that easy?” I never even saw the beast move forward.

  
My father had been standing right beside me Cat. I didn’t see the beast that took him, but I felt the breeze on my cheek and to this day, I can still smell him. And the sound Cat, the scream that escaped my father’s lips as his throat was torn open? I can still feel my father’s warm blood splattering my face,” Jace said and then his voice trailed off and he retreated to a place deep within himself. I could only stare transfixed and watch as Jace reached up and touched his face, tracing an imaginary something, a stain of blood long gone perhaps, as if his fingertips could wipe away the guilt and horror. His breath picked up and I sensed he was back in his nightmare again.

“They killed him Cat and my last thought as he died was how much I hated him for being weak and leaving me with the burden of doing what had to be done.” I was shaking. I could feel every emotion that was hidden in the dead sound of his voice.

“I was older than the other kids. My little sister was fourteen; the twins were just six and then the baby. I was older than all of them Cat. I was the oldest! My mother was gone; she could do no good for anyone now. She had died before my father but she was too stupid to just lie down. I knew that I had to protect my brothers and sisters from a death worse than the one my father had suffered, no matter the cost to me. I was not going to let the Vampires win. I was not going to let my family become a death spectacle for everyone.  I did what I had to do Cat.” He stopped talking and closed his eyes and I watched as a single tear slipped slowly down the side of his face. 

I needed to say something but I didn’t know what the words needed to be. He told me he had to get it out, that he didn’t want to die
with his guilt locked up in his mind. I should have changed the subject. I should have told him to stop, but that would mean denying him his regret.

“What happened next Jace? Tell me.”  The words came out before I could stop myself. I knew that he needed release from his deeds, as
much as I had needed release from my own.

“I killed them all Cat. I couldn’t bear the thought of what the royal line would do to my little brothers and sisters. I couldn’t stand thinking about what would happen inside them if they were forced to live with knowing that they had killed the others so they themselves could
survive. One by one I freed them from that fate. My mother was the easiest. She didn’t see me coming; she didn’t see anything for that matter. I kissed her and I grabbed her neck and took away her pain in one swift motion. I died on that same day with her I think.”

The memories of Jewel’s final moments flooded back to me in a crushing rush and I couldn’t stop them. Everything Jace said brought back everything I felt the day I took her life. I didn’t think anyone could
ever understand how I felt that day, and yet in a twisted twist of fate, I had been thrown in a cell with someone that understood better than I how it feels to kill someone you love. This however, wasn’t the time or the place for me to get swept up in my own pain. The boy sitting beside me had earned his time to grieve.

“I did what I had to do
Cat. I had to turn it off or I wouldn’t be able to finish what I was doing.” As the words came out of his mouth, Jace’s demeanor changed. I could see the change in his face and his eyes, I could hear it in his voice, and I could even feel it somewhere down deep. I shivered, hoping that he didn’t fully understand the “it” that he had turned off. I knew what it was. The “it” that he was talking about was his sanity.

“The baby was sleeping in his crib. I picked up a pillow and placed it on top of my baby brother’s face. I pushed down hard and steady. I wanted to make sure no one would hear him if he cried out. After a while he stopped kicking his feet. I left the pillow
to cover his face and I went down the hall to take care of the twins. They were so trusting Cat. They trusted me! I told them we had to play hide and seek. I knew that was the only hope I had of separating them. I didn’t have any weapons, so after I counted and after they hid, I picked up the sharpest rock I could find and I hunted them down like helpless young animals, like they were just food. I left the bloody rock by their bodies. I wiped my hands on my shirt. The only one that was left then was Becca. I knew where to find her though. She couldn’t hide from me. She had been in her room crying all afternoon. I was out of control. I ran down the hallway and opened her door quietly Cat, hoping that I could sneak up on her and she wouldn’t see me coming.

“I know what you are here for Jace and forget it,” she said. Her words threw me off, there was no way she could have known. But somehow she
did.

“I am not going to let you kill me Jace,” she said quietly, the look of a cornered animal was in her eyes. She faced me and stood. “I am not going to die here Jace. I am going to go out there and I am going to avenge Daddy, so I suggest you stay the hell out of my way.” I knew she would be planning something stupid. She was so headstrong and
innocent and she thought she was invincible. I knew she would get herself tortured.

“Don’t be stupid, Becca,” I said.
“There’s nothing that you can do to bring Daddy back. You are just going to get yourself tortured. I was talking so calmly I guess I hoped I could convince her to just lay there and let me kill her. Instead, she attacked me with a broken piece of glass she had hidden in her hand. What happened next was completely unexpected. She attacked me hard. She was fighting back wildly. She had determined that I wasn’t going to ruin her plan. She sliced me pretty deep, and I stumbled back, surprised by the blood. For a second I thought she was going to kill me. The stubborn little brat was going to walk right into the mouth of hell and I couldn’t stop her because I would be bleeding to death from the cut to my arm.” As he spoke he traced the jagged eight inch line where she had cut him. I had never paid attention to his telling scar. I figured it was given him by the monsters, and not by a desperate little sister.

“I wasn’t going to let her go out there. I was bleeding badly, but I knew if I could just get to her, I could kill her. I outweighed her by fifty pounds. With the last bit of strength I had, I threw myself at her. I knocked her down and she stabbed the glass into my chest and then self-preservation took over. I grabbed her throat with both hands and I squeezed. She thrashed around for what felt like forever, but eventually she stopped. I watched her eyes cloud over, the light in them slowly faded and I knew at that moment she was gone. They all were gone and I was going to join them. I laid there waiting for death to come. I waited
there with their bodies through the night, and through the sunrise next morning. Nothing happened. No one came. Eventually I had to get up. I turned myself into the Vampires that ran the town and soon after they assigned me to your asshole friend Drake. It’s been hell ever since Cat, but a murderer like me deserves nothing better. I took their lives away from them, so now I accept everything that Drake does to me. Let the punishment fit the crime.” He shook his head, as if to shake away images that I couldn’t see. We sat there for a minute, neither of us wanting to move because moving would make murder more real.