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Authors: E.N. Joy

BOOK: She Who Finds a Husband
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Chapter Seventeen
Tamarra had knocked on Maeyl's door for the third time, ringing the doorbell twice in between. His car was parked in his assigned parking space in front of his apartment building, so she knew he was home. He'd probably peeked out of the window and saw that it was her and knew why she'd come to his house, so he was hiding behind closed doors like a coward.
“Answer this dang blasted door, Maeyl. I know you're in there,” Tamarra said to herself as she beat on the door once again. She had made up in her mind that if she had to stand on that porch and knock until morning, then so be it. She knew he had to come out in the morning in order to go work the church sound booth. He'd never missed a Sunday that she could remember. He was dedicated to New Day; always in position. So she knew that if he wouldn't even allow the devil himself to keep him from his Sunday morning duties, he surely wouldn't let her.
With arms folded, Tamarra stood on the stoop of Maeyl's doorway, tapping her foot. After a few moments, she rang the door bell again, then resumed her stance. After a few more moments, she snapped her fingers. “The back patio,” she said to herself. She turned to go around to the back of the apartment complex, and that's when she heard Maeyl's door creek open.
“Tamarra, is everything all right?” Maeyl asked in a panicked tone. “What's going on?” He opened the door and gestured for her to come in.
“You know exactly what's going on, and, no, I'm not okay.” Tamarra stormed into his place. Maeyl kept the door open, a little something he'd learned from Tamarra that she had learned from the Singles Ministry. It was behind closed doors that the devil often liked to present sin to a person; tricking them into believing that the sin would stay behind closed doors. And once again, Tamarra wanted to avoid the appearance of evil; not that it had worked for her up to this point.
“You've been beating on my door for the last fifteen minutes.” The worry in Maeyl's voice was sincere. “Please, tell me what's going on.”
“If you heard me beating on your door for the last fifteen minutes, then why in God's name didn't you open it? Oh, let me guess, Too busy trying to get your story together?” Tamarra was on fire. Maeyl had never seen her in this rare form.
“Will you calm down?” Maeyl requested. “I was down the basement in my prayer room praying. I don't allow anything or anyone to interrupt my prayer with God. You know that. I don't answer the door or the phone when I'm in sweet communion with the Lord.”
“Oh, pahleeeeeze!” Tamarra spat. “If I did happen to buy that line, I'd hope to God that you were praying for forgiveness.” Tamarra's eyes watered. “Maeyl, how could you?” She fought back tears of hurt. “I know you really wanted people to know about us, you thought I was hiding you—ashamed of you or something perhaps, but I swear I wasn't. You don't know what all I've gone through, and I just wanted everything to be right. I've been praying about us, you and me. I know how I feel about you, but it's not about me. I've made mistakes before when I made things about me. I wanted this, me and you, to be about God. So I was waiting on Him. I was waiting on Him to tell me to move. But you . . . you just couldn't wait, could you? And now, although things might look good on your end, you might look like the man, the mack daddy, but I look like a fool, a cheap—”
Maeyl caught Tamarra's fists when she raised them. He had no idea what their final destination was, and he didn't want to find out. “Tamarra, honey,” he said with such tenderness in his voice, that Tamarra had quickly forgotten how he'd put their relationship on blast in such a manner. She allowed her forehead to rest forward on his chest, exhausted from arguing. She felt drained, so drained she could barely hold her head up.
“Why?” was all Tamarra could say.
Maeyl allowed Tamarra to release several more ‘whys' before he spoke. “Tamarra, I honestly have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.”
Tamarra looked up into his eyes, and then pushed herself away. “How dare you patronize me like I'm some fool? But if games are what you want to play, then I'll play. I guess all of this was just a game to you in the first place. It had to be for you to do something like this. Just like a man, can't ever seem to get that ego in check.”
“If you are going to stand here in my living room insulting me, the least you can do is let me know why.”
“The Web site!” Tamarra finally blurted out. “The pictures, the ones of us—me and you. The ones that you posted on the church Web site.”
“I have no idea what you're talking about,” Maeyl said, walking toward Tamarra.
“Oh, just stop it.” She pushed past him to the door. “I expected as much from you. I don't even know why I came here in the first place. I don't know how you did it, or if you even had help, but none of that matters now. Goodbye, Maeyl.”
“No, Tamarra, wait!” Maeyl called after her.
He started to chase after her, but paused when he realized his feet were bare. He never wore shoes into his prayer room and had yet to slip some on. He didn't have a chance. Once he'd prematurely closed out his prayer, his only concern had been to see who was beating on his door. He could tell by their persistence that they were not going to go away, and their constant banging had stifled the Holy Spirit.
He had planned on resolving the matter that awaited him outside his front door, and then return to prayer, but now his mind was just too consumed. Tamarra, the woman he had actually been praying for and about, was furious with him and he needed to make things right. He looked around for something to slip on his feet, but nothing was in sight. He then barged out the door anyway.
“Tamarra!” he called out as he stepped down off his porch to go after her. “Ouch!” he screeched after stepping on something. He immediately grabbed his injured foot and hopped around on one leg in pain.
Seeing that Tamarra was not going to oblige his request for her to come back and speak with him, Maeyl watched her get in her car and drive off. Unfortunately, so did the church secretary who had decided to pay Maeyl a visit after so many failed attempts to contact him by phone. The church secretary sat in her car. Her mouth dropped when she saw Tamarra come storming out of Maeyl's house in a rush, so much of a rush that she'd put her shirt on inside out. And her hair looked as though she and Maeyl had been doing God only knows what. And then there was Maeyl in his bare feet.
The church secretary clasped her chest in disbelief. When she decided to take it upon herself to drive over to Maeyl's house, she never thought for the life of her that she'd stumble upon a lover's quarrel. If the church thought the mere pictures of the couple were bad, wait until they heard about this.
Chapter Eighteen
“Ain't no devil in hell gonna keep me from my Lord,” were the words that played on the radio as Tamarra drove to church.
She'd be a liar if she said that she hadn't thought all night long about not coming to church, but there was no way she was going to let Maeyl feel as though he'd gotten to her with his little stunt. He'd tried calling her house and cell phone a dozen times, but she wouldn't take his calls. Paige, after hearing about the pictures and then going online to see them for herself, tried calling Tamarra several times from work. Tamarra finally did take her call after hearing how worried she sounded. Paige offered to come by her house after she got off work at eight o'clock. She said she had a date with Blake, but could cancel it, but Tamarra told her friend that she'd be fine.
Tamarra was surprised when Paige showed up at her door anyway at eight thirty. She'd cancelled her date in order to be there for her friend. The two talked and prayed well into the midnight hour before Paige finally left, offering to come back in the morning to pick Tamarra up so that the two could go to church together. Tamarra knew it was Paige's way of making sure she went to church, but she assured her that she would be there, joking that she didn't want anybody having to do a drive-by if she didn't show up.
“On top of that,” Tamarra said out loud as she drove to church, “I didn't do anything wrong. There's no reason why I can't show my face in New Day. Nope. There is no need at all for me to be ashamed of anything, anything at all.” If anybody should feel ashamed, she reckoned it should be Maeyl.
Tamarra pulled up into the church parking lot prepared to go get her praise and worship on and hear the message of God just like she'd done any other Sunday. But just as soon as she stepped foot out of her jeep, she knew this wasn't going to be like any other Sunday.
 
 
“They had just done what?” were the words Tamarra heard when she stepped into the ladies room at church.
Because of the memo always posted in the church programs about limiting getting up and down doing church service, Tamarra always made it a point to go to the bathroom before service started. She didn't want to be one of those saints who were always up, being a distraction in the sanctuary.
It was never a surprise for her to walk into the ladies restroom and find a couple of hens plucking away at the latest gossip, but never had the gossip been about her. Tamarra could tell the two women who'd been chatting away had been talking about her, because as soon as she entered and they locked eyes with her, she could see the canary's feathers hanging out of each of their mouths.
“Good morning, Sister Tamarra,” one of the women said, who just happened to also be a member of the Singles Ministry. “It's a wonderful day that the Lord has made, isn't it?”
Tamarra held her head up high and replied. “Why it certainly is, and therefore we should all rejoice and be glad in it. I know I am.” Without further ado, Tamarra made her way into an empty stall. She closed the door, locked it, and then let out a huge, deep exhale as if she'd been holding her breath the entire time. She then said a silent prayer to God.
Lord, thank you for restraining my flesh so that it didn't rise up and knock their blocks off for talking about me. In Jesus' name. Amen.
“Humph, I bet she's rejoicing all right,” one of the women said as the two women exited the bathroom together. “I'd be rejoicing too after a roll in the sack with a fine specimen like Mr. Sound Man.”
Tamarra could hear the women laughing like hyenas as the door closed behind them. Everything in her wanted to go confront them. To shake them and make them listen to the truth. Never mind what their eyes saw. Things weren't what they looked like. But why should she even entertain those two or anyone else who decided they wanted to get caught up in the gossip? People were going to talk about her. That was life. People had talked about Jesus, and God still gave Him the victory over every tongue that had spoken against Him.
“With God on my side, who can be against me?” Tamarra said to herself after flushing the commode, and then going to wash her hands. After drying them she looked at herself in the mirror and repeated once again the words, “With God on my side, who can be against me?”
With restored strength, Tamarra exited the bathroom and made her way into the sanctuary where it had appeared, with all the glares she was getting, the rumors had preceded her. It looked as though she'd gotten the answer to the question she had just posed to herself twice. “Who can be against me?” she mumbled under her breath sarcastically. “The whole church.”
Chapter Nineteen
“And they call themselves saved!” Paige spat as she scooped up a mound of mashed potatoes from the Golden Corral Buffet.
“You know what Pastor always says, everybody in the church ain't saved. That's why we have the church. Jesus didn't come to save the righteous.” Tamarra walked alongside Paige down the buffet. While Paige's plate was practically full, Tamarra had barely placed anything on hers. After dealing with all of the glares, stares, and whispers from the members of the church today, she didn't feel much like eating.
“I get that and all, but we're talking about the same people who be speaking in tongues, now using their tongues to spread gossip and lies,” Paige countered. “I mean, so what if you spent the night at Maeyl's house Friday night? That's your business, as well as whatever the two of you did. That's between you and God. You're my girl, so you know I'm not going to judge you.”
The loud crashing noise of the plate hitting the floor startled Paige. Tamarra stood there as if she weren't the one who'd just dropped the plate that was now in a million pieces on the floor. “Spent the night with Maeyl?” Tamarra said to Paige. “Did you just say that I spent the night with Maeyl?”
Tamarra's voice was so loud that other diners who were fixing their plates could hear her.
“Come on, Tamarra, let's go sit down for a minute. We'll ask the waitress to bring you another plate.” Paige slightly tugged Tamarra's arm to lead her back to their table.
Snatching her arm away from Paige, Tamarra said, “I don't want another plate. I want to know why my so-called best friend just accused me of spending the night over some man's house and doing . . . and doing . . .” Tamarra couldn't even get the words out. She lowered her tone and said, “doing
it
.”
“Look, Tamarra, I'm not the one accusing you of anything. It was someone from the church who saw you with their own two eyes leaving Maeyl's house Saturday morning with your hair in disarray and your shirt on backward and inside out. What did you expect people to think?”
“I'm not talking about people, I'm talking about you, my best friend.” Tamarra paused for a moment as the two women stood in the middle of the restaurant. “Well, what do you think?”
Paige thought for a moment. She wanted to choose her words carefully.
“Forget it,” Tamarra said, shaking her head. “What you're not saying says it all.” Tamarra walked back over to the table where they had been seated, grabbed her purse from under the table, and made a beeline to the exit door and straight to her car. She hadn't gotten her car door open before Paige came running after her.
“Tamarra, wait!” she called out, almost out of breath. Tamarra stood at the door and waited for Paige to approach her. “Look, I'm sorry.”
“For what?” Tamarra wanted her to say it. What was she sorry for? Was she sorry that her friend was going through a scandal of lies and the baring of false witnesses? Or was she sorry that she believed those lies? “Tell me, Paige, why are you sorry?”
“I guess I'm sorry because . . . I don't know, Tamarra. I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this. I'm sorry that you don't think I'm being a good friend right now.”
“That I
think
you're not being a good friend, or that you actually aren't being a good friend? Don't you get it, Paige?” Tamarra ran her fingers through her short hair. “Those people at New Day can think what they want. They don't know me, but you do . . . friend.” Tamarra opened the jeep's door to get in it.
“Hold up, Missy. Don't put this on me just because you got caught leaving Maeyl's place. I mean, I don't know what went on at his place Friday night or Saturday morning or whenever, but I do know that I spent all Saturday night with you and not once did you mention to me that you had been over Maeyl's.”
“So just because I didn't give you every little detail of my day's schedule, you think I was over his house up to no good?”
“Well, I couldn't think of any other reason why you would hide it from me.”
“Hide? Hide?” Tamarra threw her hands up in defeat. “Why does everybody always think I'm hiding something? First, Maeyl thinks I'm hiding his and my relationship and now so do you.”
“Well, aren't you? You made it out to be such a big secret that even I, your best friend, had to pry it out of you. I talk to you about Blake every day. I brought him to the church just last Sunday. You yourself got to meet him, although it was only for a hot second since you had to leave church early.” That particular Sunday Tamarra had to leave early for a catering affair at New Destiny for their church anniversary. “But I introduced him to Pastor. Here you and Maeyl are right under Pastor's nose acting like there is nothing going on between y'all. I don't know what you call it, but to the rest of the world, it looks like you two were trying to hide something. And usually people only hide things when they are up to no good. So forgive me, Tamarra. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that for one minute I thought that just maybe you did have something to hide. I confess that much, and I'm sorry.”
Tamarra stared at Paige who stood there in a puddle of remorse and frustration. Tamarra couldn't help but think this is the exact same way Maeyl must have felt too. Perhaps she had pushed him to find a way to tell everyone about their relationship. In hindsight, she may have very well brought all of this mess upon herself. There was a slight chance that she'd been using the fact that she was waiting on God to speak to her about her and Maeyl's relationship as an excuse to stand still in her own fears; fears of moving forward. Fears of being happy again. Now not only had her fears affected her, but everyone around her as well. Now how could she turn things around and make them right?
Knowing at least where to start, Tamarra placed her arms around Paige and apologized for her role in all of the confusion. After Paige accepted her apology, Tamarra jumped in her jeep knowing exactly what she had to do next.

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